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1) I'm one of the most opinionated 21 year olds I know. I have reasons for thinking things and feelings things, go figure, the vast majority of these reasons being ones that operate on logic. Logic based on past experience, logic based on intuition, logic based on primal instincts or pure desire, but always logic.
2) I'm intelligent and proficient in my first language, and expect my girlfriend to be the same. These days, it seems as though you have to search far and wide to find the same. You should learn how to speak and write your first language. What's so stupid about typing two extra letters on a keyboard? How about the fact that you look like a fucking moron who couldn't find her classroom "wehn U TipE li3k tHis"? THAT is stupid.
3) I mean what I say and say what I mean. I keep my word as best as humanly possible. I don't play - nay, I fucking hate - mind games. Anybody here remember what honour is? Or how about decency? Dignity, even? Dare I say morals? Staying true to oneself? Or have these become nothing more than words in a fairy tale, perhaps once demonstrated by knights in shining armour?
4) I'm honest, and I'll say it how it is, regardless of to whom I'm saying it. This includes you. If you tell me that you think Step Up is a good movie, I'll tell you that you have terrible taste in movies. If your reasons for why it's a good movie starts with, or includes, "Channing Tatum is hot", then I'll tell you that I pray to a god I don't believe in that you never wind up with a job as a movie critic, that nobody ever asks you to tell them what you think of a movie, and that your opinions of movies will forever be meaningless to me. Remember that being good LOOKING does not make something GOOD. Just like Milk Duds look good but taste like shit, so too may Amanda Bynes be considered attractive, but she is a terrible actress. Even more so, having one good looking actor whose acting abilities are horrendous does not even come close to making the movie good. If you tell me that you think Just My Luck was funny, I'll tell you that you should be introduced to real comedy one day. I'll try and remind you that you used to have standards, and suggest you try bringing them back.
5) On that note, I don't look like Channing Tatum, and as long as he's on the big screen wooing these stupid superficial teenagers, I won't have much a chance with them.
6) I hate music and movies that are bad, and chances are you like a lot of music and movies that are bad. For example, if you love Fall Out Boy, Saves The Day, Matchbox Romance, Death Cab For Cutie, Simple Plan, Avril Lavigne, and other horribly mundane and insignificant trash like that, I'll most likely never want to drive with you anywhere or go see a concert with you, let alone be near you if you're playing your stereo. If you enjoy movies such as Guess Who, She's The Man, Just My Luck, Little Man, or other related masterpieces, I'll seldom ever want to see a movie with you, or even talk to you about them. I'll ask you if you even know what Guess Who is based off, if you know what Shakespearean play She's The Man is a modernized version of, if you know what other movie Lindsay Lohan starred in that was already Just My Luck (and then if you know what OTHER movie Tom Hanks was in, which is the same thing except before and better), and assuming you don't, I'll shake my head and most likely not speak much to you for a while after.
7) I don't have a lot of patience for stupid people, and, statistically speaking, chances are you're stupid.
8) I don't watch TV, and if I do, it's good TV. No, I won't come watch the OC with you, I'd really rather not sit though an episode of Sex and the City, and if you even bring that DVD of The Simple Life near me, we're broken up in a second. If I'm watching The Daily Show and you want me to switch it to a stupid "reality" TV show, you will have to physically debilitate me to get the remote from my hands and do it yourself.
9) On that note, I will not "change" my opinions for you. I will not "give Fall Out Boy" a chance. They got a chance when I heard their singles on the radio, no more. I will not "just watch Bring It On" with you, and certainly not "just because". This is not me being selfish or stubborn, it is me sticking to my standards. Depending on the movie, we may talk about it and I may be convinced to watch it. However, you had better have good, logical reasons for wanting me to see it, and they better follow through, lest you never having a chance to win me over with a movie again. Also, you can completely forget it if the movie you're trying to make me see is any of the ones I've mentioned in this list.
10) I'm nice, kind, thoughtful, funny, smart, outgoing and all those other things you say you want in a guy, which is, of course, never what you actually want in a guy. You want an asshole who you can change into being those things for you, thusly giving yourself a false sense of validation as a girl who is "worth it", and feeling just a little bit better about yourself. Since I am already those things, you don't get the validation of me changing for you, and ergo I am uninteresting or boring or dull or just not a challenge. Because hey, that's what a relationship is about after all, right? The CHALLENGE! Fuck all that bullshit about finding somebody who likes you for you, gets who you are, wants to spend their time with you because they love life so much more when you're around. That's for saps, man. Everybody knows it's all about the chase. And then, when you catch them, it's boring and over and you move onto the next one. And, if you're lucky, you can do one of these every 22 minutes or so, where it'll be wrapped up nicely for you.
11) I wrote this list and you read it.
1) I'm one of the most opinionated 21 year olds I know. I have reasons for thinking things and feelings things, go figure, the vast majority of these reasons being ones that operate on logic. Logic based on past experience, logic based on intuition, logic based on primal instincts or pure desire, but always logic.
2) I'm intelligent and proficient in my first language, and expect my girlfriend to be the same. These days, it seems as though you have to search far and wide to find the same. You should learn how to speak and write your first language. What's so stupid about typing two extra letters on a keyboard? How about the fact that you look like a fucking moron who couldn't find her classroom "wehn U TipE li3k tHis"? THAT is stupid.
3) I mean what I say and say what I mean. I keep my word as best as humanly possible. I don't play - nay, I fucking hate - mind games. Anybody here remember what honour is? Or how about decency? Dignity, even? Dare I say morals? Staying true to oneself? Or have these become nothing more than words in a fairy tale, perhaps once demonstrated by knights in shining armour?
4) I'm honest, and I'll say it how it is, regardless of to whom I'm saying it. This includes you. If you tell me that you think Step Up is a good movie, I'll tell you that you have terrible taste in movies. If your reasons for why it's a good movie starts with, or includes, "Channing Tatum is hot", then I'll tell you that I pray to a god I don't believe in that you never wind up with a job as a movie critic, that nobody ever asks you to tell them what you think of a movie, and that your opinions of movies will forever be meaningless to me. Remember that being good LOOKING does not make something GOOD. Just like Milk Duds look good but taste like shit, so too may Amanda Bynes be considered attractive, but she is a terrible actress. Even more so, having one good looking actor whose acting abilities are horrendous does not even come close to making the movie good. If you tell me that you think Just My Luck was funny, I'll tell you that you should be introduced to real comedy one day. I'll try and remind you that you used to have standards, and suggest you try bringing them back.
5) On that note, I don't look like Channing Tatum, and as long as he's on the big screen wooing these stupid superficial teenagers, I won't have much a chance with them.
6) I hate music and movies that are bad, and chances are you like a lot of music and movies that are bad. For example, if you love Fall Out Boy, Saves The Day, Matchbox Romance, Death Cab For Cutie, Simple Plan, Avril Lavigne, and other horribly mundane and insignificant trash like that, I'll most likely never want to drive with you anywhere or go see a concert with you, let alone be near you if you're playing your stereo. If you enjoy movies such as Guess Who, She's The Man, Just My Luck, Little Man, or other related masterpieces, I'll seldom ever want to see a movie with you, or even talk to you about them. I'll ask you if you even know what Guess Who is based off, if you know what Shakespearean play She's The Man is a modernized version of, if you know what other movie Lindsay Lohan starred in that was already Just My Luck (and then if you know what OTHER movie Tom Hanks was in, which is the same thing except before and better), and assuming you don't, I'll shake my head and most likely not speak much to you for a while after.
7) I don't have a lot of patience for stupid people, and, statistically speaking, chances are you're stupid.
8) I don't watch TV, and if I do, it's good TV. No, I won't come watch the OC with you, I'd really rather not sit though an episode of Sex and the City, and if you even bring that DVD of The Simple Life near me, we're broken up in a second. If I'm watching The Daily Show and you want me to switch it to a stupid "reality" TV show, you will have to physically debilitate me to get the remote from my hands and do it yourself.
9) On that note, I will not "change" my opinions for you. I will not "give Fall Out Boy" a chance. They got a chance when I heard their singles on the radio, no more. I will not "just watch Bring It On" with you, and certainly not "just because". This is not me being selfish or stubborn, it is me sticking to my standards. Depending on the movie, we may talk about it and I may be convinced to watch it. However, you had better have good, logical reasons for wanting me to see it, and they better follow through, lest you never having a chance to win me over with a movie again. Also, you can completely forget it if the movie you're trying to make me see is any of the ones I've mentioned in this list.
10) I'm nice, kind, thoughtful, funny, smart, outgoing and all those other things you say you want in a guy, which is, of course, never what you actually want in a guy. You want an asshole who you can change into being those things for you, thusly giving yourself a false sense of validation as a girl who is "worth it", and feeling just a little bit better about yourself. Since I am already those things, you don't get the validation of me changing for you, and ergo I am uninteresting or boring or dull or just not a challenge. Because hey, that's what a relationship is about after all, right? The CHALLENGE! Fuck all that bullshit about finding somebody who likes you for you, gets who you are, wants to spend their time with you because they love life so much more when you're around. That's for saps, man. Everybody knows it's all about the chase. And then, when you catch them, it's boring and over and you move onto the next one. And, if you're lucky, you can do one of these every 22 minutes or so, where it'll be wrapped up nicely for you.
11) I wrote this list and you read it.