I guess I always knew the score...
A 500 words drabble about my forever favourite KPOP OTP :3 Hanchul!
Hope you like it. :3
It's been a while since we last talked, hasn't it? I've been wondering if you're still alive. Oh obviously you are, I've read the news. Bet you didn't think I could actually open the newspaper and read it, right? But I do. And I've heard about your new activities and I wish I could say I'm happy for you. But I'm not.
Tonight is my birthday... do you even care? Bet you don't. You didn't ring me, you didn't send me an email... And I don't give a fuck if you can't access Twitter from this hell of a place you've been living in, you really could have tweeted me. It doesn't hurt to say “happy birthday, you idiot.”
But I've been there and I've done that - I've left people behind, lonely and bruised. It bothers you in the beginning but once you find another source of light their spot is instantly filled by a better lamp. A more powerful one... a prettier one? Don't you ever think about turning me on once in a while? Obviously not, you shine too bright to need me.
Everybody says nothing lasts forever, but still I believed. Some bounds don't easily burn... but I think you've broken out of my shackles; my arms. And it all burned away so easily.
But did you really love me? Or did you love having someone to push you forward?
I just can't force myself to care any longer, Hangeng. Truth be told, I'm getting old and we ain't going anywhere. You've left for your own sake, I know... but didn't mine ever count? I don't mind if it's only another example of my pure selfishness and self indulgence, I needed you and you left me lonely and bruised, broken. I begged you to stay and still you went away. Can't you come back to celebrate my fucking birthday and carry me on your back once I get wasted on the soju you paid? Won't you send me a virtual gift and say how missed I am? You owe me that.
I hate to play the prick people think I am but there are times in life when you have to smash it on one's face what you've done... even if this one won't read between the lines.
I'm hurt because I've stood for you, Hangeng. I've put my own ass in line so they'd fuck me and not you. I've been through heaven and hell, back and forth, only to protect you... only to be the one for you. Now tell me what's my reward. A fucking goodbye?
Oh no...
You didn't even bother to do so.
So be a man at least once and show up. Be polited and give me a birthday gift... answer me, Hangeng... please.
'CauseIstillneedyou.
Heechul sent the email and closed his laptop, taking another sip from the soju bottle Hongki bought him. To the hell with all this pity, there was a party waiting for him out there.