And now for something brought on by sleep deprivation and moral outrage
Studies have shown that in this modern era, somewhere between 7 to 10% of people are left-handed, more commonly males than females. While many theories abound as to the cause of left-handedness, one thing cannot be argued: the condition is not normal. If it were normal, 90-93% of people would be left-handed.
Now, I have nothing against left-handed people. I have left-handed friends. Heck, my grandmother is left-handed, although, back in her day she was taught to use her right hand as nature intended. So, no, I don’t hate lefties. It’s just that I can’t condone the left-handed lifestyle. These people gesture with their left hands. They write that way. They interact with left-handed partners, sometimes even in front of children.
Left-handedness is a risky choice. These people often insist on improperly using tools or finding alternative methods of accomplishing simple tasks that put themselves and others at risk, increasing the strain on health care resources. And there have been successful lawsuits launched by left-handers, demanding that workplace equipment be provided to correspond to their sinister lifestyle! As if the economy or the legal system need any further strain right now...
Left-handed people are even able to adopt without regards to the handedness of the children in question. What happens, I ask you, when these children are put at risk by the left-handed lifestyle? They may be cruelly mocked for their abnormal family habits or composition. They might be hurt in an accident caused by illicit tool use or orphaned early by their risk-taking parents. Worse yet, what happens if having left-handed role models during their formative years leads them to accept and adopt the lifestyle for themselves?
Even the Bible holds that left-handedness is wrong. “Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels”. Matthew 25:41. Who can argue with God?
In conclusion, for those of you who find the above absolutely ridiculous, if you happen to live in California, for goodness sake extrapolate the satire a little and vote NO on Proposition 8 tomorrow.
Now, I have nothing against left-handed people. I have left-handed friends. Heck, my grandmother is left-handed, although, back in her day she was taught to use her right hand as nature intended. So, no, I don’t hate lefties. It’s just that I can’t condone the left-handed lifestyle. These people gesture with their left hands. They write that way. They interact with left-handed partners, sometimes even in front of children.
Left-handedness is a risky choice. These people often insist on improperly using tools or finding alternative methods of accomplishing simple tasks that put themselves and others at risk, increasing the strain on health care resources. And there have been successful lawsuits launched by left-handers, demanding that workplace equipment be provided to correspond to their sinister lifestyle! As if the economy or the legal system need any further strain right now...
Left-handed people are even able to adopt without regards to the handedness of the children in question. What happens, I ask you, when these children are put at risk by the left-handed lifestyle? They may be cruelly mocked for their abnormal family habits or composition. They might be hurt in an accident caused by illicit tool use or orphaned early by their risk-taking parents. Worse yet, what happens if having left-handed role models during their formative years leads them to accept and adopt the lifestyle for themselves?
Even the Bible holds that left-handedness is wrong. “Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels”. Matthew 25:41. Who can argue with God?
In conclusion, for those of you who find the above absolutely ridiculous, if you happen to live in California, for goodness sake extrapolate the satire a little and vote NO on Proposition 8 tomorrow.