(no subject)

Nov 10, 2005 00:07



Of course you have. Everyone does. Its a fact of life that every person will be confronted with a situation that will challenge their morals and beliefs. Some more than others, and the challenges can be as extreme as life or death, or as mild as chocolate or vanilla cone with your last buck twenty-five.

Right now, I have a quandary, one which interestingly seems to separate my mind into two distinct fields.

Currently I am working on going out with a girl I've met through work. She's pretty, athletic, funny, and very independant and intelligent, given what I know of her and have seen. She seems to be interested in me (evidenced mainly by the fact she willingly volunteered her phone number to me) and I find myself attracted to her in a very intellectual manner. She seems like a girl to be won, as well, in terms of physical contact (if one knows what I mean) and I think she would be worth a wait. She turns eighteen next March actually (and yes, she is still in High School) but I am impressed by her in several ways. She appeals to my intellectual side, my sensitive, respectful side. I would have to wait a while to enjoy the fruits of my labors, but winning her could be very satisfying.

Then again, there's some other factors to consider. These I wont go into detail, but I will suffice to say that its not as easy right now to just say, "Go with the intellectual one!"

On the other hand I've recently come back into contact with someone whom I've actually gone out with a number of times in the past, a girl who consequently harbors some emotions for me. She is most definitely attracted to me, and although I will admit to having done some things with her/to her in the past I now regret (and have made amends on as best I can) she still likes me and I find myself delighted with the attraction of being attractive. She likes me, she even desires me, and she's not bad looking. We share some common interests, and she could be a very fun girl to hook up with in a number of ways, and right now I want to have fun.

Its not that I don't want a deeper, mental attraction less than or more than a physical, fun attraction right now. Both girls are attractive physically in their own ways, and both would offer mental and physical attraction to me, its the amounts each offer that I'm confused over.

There's also the consideration of safe bet over riskier bet. One still likes me. A lot. The other just knows me from work, and found me attractive at least in a mental sense.

As you can tell, this is a tough decision. One I can actually take out, do "Adult" things with (IE -- things requiring an id verifying being eighteen years of age or older) and things like that. The other has the -potential- to be a lot of things, but its less certain in a number of ways. And I wouldn't make a move towards physical expressions of love till she turned eighteen, while the other I wouldn't have to wait any longer than she said to.

I know I'm probably coming off as really petty right now, but I really don't know how I suddenly ended up "playing the field" like it appears I am. I don't like "playing the field" because I feel like I'm being dishonest with people I haven't even made a commitment to! lol

Anyways, other news in my life. My job sucks. lol I'm really getting tired of the hours and pay and work I do. But I've complained enough about that, lemme inventory what I need to do for my classes within the next few weeks:

Public Speaking:
-Make up large amounts of homework
-Meet up with my group for the Group Presentation (When?! I have NO time!)
-Go to a public presentation, write an analysis of it. Again, when? lol
-Somehow pass a quiz I'll be taking... today. lol Good god I didn't have enough time to study for the first one and this one just snuck up and bit me in the ass.

Freshman English
-Final Draft an essay
-Write something like four more five-hundred word essays

College Success
-Study up on a famous "Master Student" then give a presentation on them

American Lit
-Prepare a fifteen minute presentation on Romanticism. Good leeway with the topic

And of course, work.

My god, if I survive this, I... I do not know. I'll probably curl in a corner of my room afterwards and rock myself back and forth saying, "All work no play make Colin dull boy... all work no play make Colin dull boy..." for a couple hours on end.

Ah, well. Colinwealth out.
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