(no subject)
Not really, but now that I have your attention lemme offend some people first.
You. Vampire-lover, masturbator to all things Anne Rice.
Fuck.
You.
Fuck all you people whom glorify and romanticize that which sucks the life out of the living. Fuck you all who wish they could be ever-living while aiming to steal away the life from those who actually live. Fuck you people, because I've SEEN the life stolen away from people. I've seen it sapped away, leeched out, I've seen a very good man, a big man, reduced to a skeletal frame while something within him sucks all the life out of him to satiate it. Fuck you people who think its cool, fuck you people who think its condonable. Fuck you, and fuck OFF. I'd wish the same fate befall you, but I'm not vindictive, and I couldn't wish this on anyone else. All the same, fuck you.
My brother-in-law is dying of cancer. He could go this weekend or a week from now, its iffy, but he will go. A good man who's been there for me at times I needed it has been fighting cancer in the stomach and surrounding organs since before my graduation, and we only found out in the middle of summer. He'll be survived by my sister, and their two kids, Alex and Jakob, nine and seven respectively. My brother-in-law hasn't even seen his fortieth birthday yet, my sister isn't even thirty-four. He's being robbed of not just his own life, but of the lives of his children and his wife. It breaks my heart to look at him, it breaks my heart to see my sister and my niece and my nephew, because I KNOW what's to come.
And yet, I wish he were at peace, because I know that is whats causing us the pain now, seeing him in pain. And I know that once its over, and once the grieving has finished, that we can begin to heal. It wont be easy, it never is. Losing my grandmother showed me that in a vivid lesson. But we can heal and move on.
We can live. And not lament, but remember, laugh, love all the more, and make sure each day we spend is precious and fulfilling. We can end each day exhausted, spent, and wake up refreshed and do it all over again so that one day, when our time comes, those we leave behind will have nothing but memories of laughter and happiness to reflect upon.
Thrawnma out.