(no subject)
All right... was going through my files at work, and guess what I found? Old House fic, never to be finished... and I'm not really sure what else to think about it. haha. Except man, I used to have some wit. What happened to it!?
Goes without saying that it's House/Cameron, but this is like BACK IN THE DAY.
House never considered himself a difficult man. However, if that was the word that others used to describe him, then he couldn’t help how other people thought. Truth of the matter was he was rather agreeable, especially when it came to his ideas (which were always correct and the others had to listen) and when it came to Cameron and whipped cream.
This did not fall into either of those categories.
“No.”
Cameron looked at him beseechingly. He supposed that if she was wearing that French maid outfit he liked so much he might be more inclined to say yes, but sheer perversity and crankiness made him hold out.
“Come on, House. They’re going to kill me as is because I ruined the surprise.”
“It hardly constitutes as a surprise when Wilson’s been asking me what I want.”
She scowled. “I’m going to kill James.”
His eyebrow shot up. “Been spending a lot of time with Jimmy boy?”
“Well we were trying to plan the party, and I can’t help it. Besides, he insisted.”
His hands tightened around his cane. “Oh, he did, did he? Should I leave you two alone?”
There was an amused smile on her face. “Are you jealous?”
“Hah! You’re being delusional.”
“No, delusional is what you were being when you thought you could get me to do that thing with my tongue again.”
His eyes glazed over happily.
“House?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you want it?”
He nearly choked on his response. “HELL YES.”
She grinned. “A birthday party it is!”
-----------------------------------------
“That sneaky, manipulative…”
Wilson laughed at his friend. “Remind you of anyone you know?” he asked dryly.
“Yeah, Cameron.”
At House’s scowl, he shook his head. “You know, when I’m planning a surprise party for you, you REALLY shouldn’t be here.”
“You shouldn’t really divorce three times either, but you know, it happens.” The diagnostician looked around at the decorated room. “What about me makes you think of shiny tassels and sparkles?”
“Your winning personality?”
“And please tell me you ordered the hookers. I love that.”
“…with your girlfriend at the party?!”
“What? She’s a good sport. You’d be surprised at what she’s willing to do.”
Wilson blinked. “Wait, did you just NOT deny that she was your girlfriend?”
Gruffly, House replied, “We had a long talk about that.”
“You mean she just had sex with you until you said yes.”
The older man grinned. “That sounds about right. Ah, the perks of dating a younger woman…”
“That’s enough.”
“Do you know how inventive they’re getting these days? I mean, wow… mind-BLOWING.”
“Shut up, House.”
“Why? You’re not getting any?”
The oncologist flung some tassels over at him. House caught it and stared at it thoughtfully. “You know, tassels would look good hanging off Cameron’s…”
Wilson stomped off. “I don’t know how she puts up with you.”
“It’s the big stick. Girls will do anything for it.”
-----------------------------------------
“There better be a hooker in that cake,” House grumbled.
Next to him Cuddy only rolled her eyes. “Only if you want it to be a midget.”
“Nothing wrong with that. All the better to…”
She held up her hand. “Under no circumstances will you finish that sentence, not unless you want me to remind you of the fact that you missed a day’s worth of clinic duty last week.”
“Okay, no more hooker talk, although what ARE you wearing? Getting a head start on being a yummy mummy?”
Scowling at him, Cuddy retorted, “I thought no one knew about this!”
House only raised his brow. “You think I wouldn’t notice when your bra size increases?”
“How do you put up with this pig?” Cuddy asked an incoming Cameron.
“I like his bike. It’s big.”
The diagnostician grinned. “Only it’s not my bike she’s talking about.”
“Has a tendency to sputter and die in mid-drive though. I think it’s getting too old. Probably should get a new model.”
This time, Cuddy grinned. “I see you met your match.”
“I remember when you used to be this nice girl,” House grumbled.
“Me too,” Cameron sighed. “Then I met you. Can’t help it if all that snark rubbed off.”
“Not the only rubbing off that was done.”
Cuddy shook her head. “I give up. Happy birthday, House. And make sure you get in tomorrow morning.”
“Only if Cameron lets me out of bed,” he called after her.
Around him, there were barely five or six people left at the party. It had been hard enough for Cameron and Wilson to round up staff members to attend, and even harder for them to stay since House had all but scowled the candles off his cake. Cameron had finally taken pity on everyone and blown the candles out for him.
“Did you make a wish?” she asked.
He leered at her. “No need to. I think you’re making it come true tonight.”
“Dirty old man.”
“Pretty young thang.”
“Seriously. Did you make a wish?” she asked.
He replied somewhat exasperatedly, “What are we? Five here? No I didn’t make a wish.”
“The cake was okay?”
“Would’ve been better with the hookers inside, unless you wear YOUR hooker boots.”
“I thought I said never to mention I own those boots here.”
“Yeah, well, I’ll make sure your boss gives you a hard time about it.”
She smacked his arm. “That’s terrible. I’m trying to be serious here.”
“So am I!”
“Did you hate the party?”
Something about her voice made him pause, and swallow down the sarcastic comment he’d been about to make. On top of his many wonderful qualities, House was known for being observant. “Well, you know I didn’t want the party, but it was all right. The cake though…”
She grinned then, and he somehow knew everything was back to normal.
“What? Didn’t like the bike-shaped cake?” Cameron asked innocently.
“Never pegged you for a Harley type of girl.”
“It’s the hogs. They do something for me,” she replied while patting his stomach.
His blue eyes reflected his amusement. “You think I’m getting fat?”
“Actually, no. I think I’m getting fat.”
“Well I wasn’t going to say anything but…”
She glared at him. “Say what?”
The room was deserted enough. Wilson had taken off with one of the nurses, and he was going to get a big surprise when he discovered ‘her’ real identity. The rest of the staff had scrambled off as soon as the cake had been served.
“Are you going to tell me?” he asked, staring pointedly at her stomach, which was still pretty flat truth be told.
“I wasn’t going to say anything till I was sure!”
“Well, I’m sure.”
“You’re not the one having the baby.”
He grinned broadly. “I give you permission to harass the living daylights out of Mel Gibson while you’re being all cranky and pregnant.”
Burying her hands in her head, she moaned, “We’re going to be parents.”
“Soon to be married parents,” he corrected.
Cameron’s head flew up. “What?!”
“I suppose you want a wedding with all one thousand of your closest relatives and friends?”
“Wedding?! Wait, did you just propose??!” She blinked. “Moreover, was that your idea of a proposal?!”
The ring he brought out of his pocket blinded her.
“Is that why you’ve been driving that bike around?” she finally asked when she admired the ring on her finger.
“Can’t exactly get a new one with how much that thing set me back.”
She sighed. “Guess I’ll have to keep that old thing around.”
“Hey!”
“And what’s your position on minivans?”
Goes without saying that it's House/Cameron, but this is like BACK IN THE DAY.
House never considered himself a difficult man. However, if that was the word that others used to describe him, then he couldn’t help how other people thought. Truth of the matter was he was rather agreeable, especially when it came to his ideas (which were always correct and the others had to listen) and when it came to Cameron and whipped cream.
This did not fall into either of those categories.
“No.”
Cameron looked at him beseechingly. He supposed that if she was wearing that French maid outfit he liked so much he might be more inclined to say yes, but sheer perversity and crankiness made him hold out.
“Come on, House. They’re going to kill me as is because I ruined the surprise.”
“It hardly constitutes as a surprise when Wilson’s been asking me what I want.”
She scowled. “I’m going to kill James.”
His eyebrow shot up. “Been spending a lot of time with Jimmy boy?”
“Well we were trying to plan the party, and I can’t help it. Besides, he insisted.”
His hands tightened around his cane. “Oh, he did, did he? Should I leave you two alone?”
There was an amused smile on her face. “Are you jealous?”
“Hah! You’re being delusional.”
“No, delusional is what you were being when you thought you could get me to do that thing with my tongue again.”
His eyes glazed over happily.
“House?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you want it?”
He nearly choked on his response. “HELL YES.”
She grinned. “A birthday party it is!”
-----------------------------------------
“That sneaky, manipulative…”
Wilson laughed at his friend. “Remind you of anyone you know?” he asked dryly.
“Yeah, Cameron.”
At House’s scowl, he shook his head. “You know, when I’m planning a surprise party for you, you REALLY shouldn’t be here.”
“You shouldn’t really divorce three times either, but you know, it happens.” The diagnostician looked around at the decorated room. “What about me makes you think of shiny tassels and sparkles?”
“Your winning personality?”
“And please tell me you ordered the hookers. I love that.”
“…with your girlfriend at the party?!”
“What? She’s a good sport. You’d be surprised at what she’s willing to do.”
Wilson blinked. “Wait, did you just NOT deny that she was your girlfriend?”
Gruffly, House replied, “We had a long talk about that.”
“You mean she just had sex with you until you said yes.”
The older man grinned. “That sounds about right. Ah, the perks of dating a younger woman…”
“That’s enough.”
“Do you know how inventive they’re getting these days? I mean, wow… mind-BLOWING.”
“Shut up, House.”
“Why? You’re not getting any?”
The oncologist flung some tassels over at him. House caught it and stared at it thoughtfully. “You know, tassels would look good hanging off Cameron’s…”
Wilson stomped off. “I don’t know how she puts up with you.”
“It’s the big stick. Girls will do anything for it.”
-----------------------------------------
“There better be a hooker in that cake,” House grumbled.
Next to him Cuddy only rolled her eyes. “Only if you want it to be a midget.”
“Nothing wrong with that. All the better to…”
She held up her hand. “Under no circumstances will you finish that sentence, not unless you want me to remind you of the fact that you missed a day’s worth of clinic duty last week.”
“Okay, no more hooker talk, although what ARE you wearing? Getting a head start on being a yummy mummy?”
Scowling at him, Cuddy retorted, “I thought no one knew about this!”
House only raised his brow. “You think I wouldn’t notice when your bra size increases?”
“How do you put up with this pig?” Cuddy asked an incoming Cameron.
“I like his bike. It’s big.”
The diagnostician grinned. “Only it’s not my bike she’s talking about.”
“Has a tendency to sputter and die in mid-drive though. I think it’s getting too old. Probably should get a new model.”
This time, Cuddy grinned. “I see you met your match.”
“I remember when you used to be this nice girl,” House grumbled.
“Me too,” Cameron sighed. “Then I met you. Can’t help it if all that snark rubbed off.”
“Not the only rubbing off that was done.”
Cuddy shook her head. “I give up. Happy birthday, House. And make sure you get in tomorrow morning.”
“Only if Cameron lets me out of bed,” he called after her.
Around him, there were barely five or six people left at the party. It had been hard enough for Cameron and Wilson to round up staff members to attend, and even harder for them to stay since House had all but scowled the candles off his cake. Cameron had finally taken pity on everyone and blown the candles out for him.
“Did you make a wish?” she asked.
He leered at her. “No need to. I think you’re making it come true tonight.”
“Dirty old man.”
“Pretty young thang.”
“Seriously. Did you make a wish?” she asked.
He replied somewhat exasperatedly, “What are we? Five here? No I didn’t make a wish.”
“The cake was okay?”
“Would’ve been better with the hookers inside, unless you wear YOUR hooker boots.”
“I thought I said never to mention I own those boots here.”
“Yeah, well, I’ll make sure your boss gives you a hard time about it.”
She smacked his arm. “That’s terrible. I’m trying to be serious here.”
“So am I!”
“Did you hate the party?”
Something about her voice made him pause, and swallow down the sarcastic comment he’d been about to make. On top of his many wonderful qualities, House was known for being observant. “Well, you know I didn’t want the party, but it was all right. The cake though…”
She grinned then, and he somehow knew everything was back to normal.
“What? Didn’t like the bike-shaped cake?” Cameron asked innocently.
“Never pegged you for a Harley type of girl.”
“It’s the hogs. They do something for me,” she replied while patting his stomach.
His blue eyes reflected his amusement. “You think I’m getting fat?”
“Actually, no. I think I’m getting fat.”
“Well I wasn’t going to say anything but…”
She glared at him. “Say what?”
The room was deserted enough. Wilson had taken off with one of the nurses, and he was going to get a big surprise when he discovered ‘her’ real identity. The rest of the staff had scrambled off as soon as the cake had been served.
“Are you going to tell me?” he asked, staring pointedly at her stomach, which was still pretty flat truth be told.
“I wasn’t going to say anything till I was sure!”
“Well, I’m sure.”
“You’re not the one having the baby.”
He grinned broadly. “I give you permission to harass the living daylights out of Mel Gibson while you’re being all cranky and pregnant.”
Burying her hands in her head, she moaned, “We’re going to be parents.”
“Soon to be married parents,” he corrected.
Cameron’s head flew up. “What?!”
“I suppose you want a wedding with all one thousand of your closest relatives and friends?”
“Wedding?! Wait, did you just propose??!” She blinked. “Moreover, was that your idea of a proposal?!”
The ring he brought out of his pocket blinded her.
“Is that why you’ve been driving that bike around?” she finally asked when she admired the ring on her finger.
“Can’t exactly get a new one with how much that thing set me back.”
She sighed. “Guess I’ll have to keep that old thing around.”
“Hey!”
“And what’s your position on minivans?”