I feel at


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I had a GOOD day

I decided not to go to school cuz it was pointless

Since every school was closed practically.

I hung out with Hilary and Abby and I saw a lotta people.

Some annoying things happened.  But its all good.

I'm annoyed right now cuz I just confront the guy I used to like and told him how mean he was and stuff.

And he turned it around ( Read more... )

I'm don't feel depressed or anything.

I'm just numb.

( ...In the rainy daze... )

I cant believe it.

It fucking blows my mind.

Words can't even describe how I feel right now.

I'm angry, sad, and I have this empty feeling of loss.

The thing is that if this is hurting me so much, I can't even imagine how much this is hurting her.

I love you.

I was gonna write an entry about the horrible day I had and how the guy I USED TO (as of today) like is an ass and a dick.  But, today I went to the bluffs in the pouring rain and it was pitch black and I was just like, why the hell am I so pissed off?  Like it struck me that if he's an ass, it's his problem, not mine.  There is NOTHING I can do ( Read more... )

It really annoys me how I NEVER like the guys I am friends with.  I always like guys I barely even know.  And once they find out that I like them, it gets all awkward so we cant even become better friends.  It's so freaking annoying.  It's happen so many times with me.  I need to STOP.

Also it's really wierd because in the beginning of this school ( Read more... )

School started today.

Ew.

But I liked the rain.

my body is still

but inside there is chaos

wanting to break through

to burst through my frame

but i hold it back

suppressing the movement with my weakness

trying to be strong

waiting to harden into nothing

empty but alive

trying not to die

struggling not to stray

from the way of life

eyes heavy

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Its the New Year.

New Years definitely could've been better.

But, it was better than I thought it was gonna be.

SO... it's wierd to look back on 2004.

So much happened.  I think it was the most eventful year.

A year of Firsts.

A year of changes.

I met so many new amazing people

and said bye to people who I thought would be my friends forever.

I did ( Read more... )

Thomas and Maddie came over Wednesday night and then Mads slept over.

THEN on Thursday we couldn't go to the picnic and we were very dissappointed.

So we went to the promenade instead.

We saw Kai and some of her friends I do not know.

Xmas break is still good.  But, I miss everyone from school.

I had a wonderful time with  ( Maddie My BFFL )

I do not like him at all.

I honestly do not.

Most of the time, he bugs the crap out of me.

But, when i see him with that certain girl, it makes me so mad.

I'm too scared to admit that I'm not really mad, but I'm so completely jealous.

And I wish I weren't.  I have no right to be.  I just want to understand why I am.


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