Why I need to visit South Dakota...

[threepennies]

From the New York Times:

Alive and Thriving in the Midwest: Brawling in Cages

SIOUX FALLS, S.D., July 23 - When they rewind the video of the fight in the cage, all the blood will spray back into Gervis Fool Bull's nose, all the screams will be sucked into the collective chest of the sweating crowd, and the fist will snap back toward the big truck

Comments

[analogous_sam]

having had the unsettling experience of a flick through my mate's best man's copy of 'grooms and fumes' (okay so that's not the proper name)..
..boy do i agree.

'stag and groom', that was it. jesus h testosterone on crack christ.

[threepennies]

There's a magazine just for groomsmen?

[analogous_sam]

it might be for overenthusiastic brides at root level, i'm not sure.

[bec_87rb]

Totally. Milkshake bar/daqueri bar, (booze is a must-have - how else can all your relatives stand to be together that long without it?) and lots of bad-ass, tough-titty, gritty, snitty flowers.

And why not get married in a cage, if you bag the Iowa trucker?

[threepennies]

Um...because that would be the best idea ever.

:P

[pacotelic]

YES!

Where can I find cage fighting?

[weezel365]

Ya know, I would kill ten people trying to make sure I had at least two milkshakes before I went and got my finger sandwiches and other bullshit like that. YOu know all the goodstuff goes fast at weddings and then all that's left is thos little mint-chocolates and pretzels.

Re: Where can I find cage fighting?

[threepennies]

In my totally unsubstantiated, completely erroneous take of weddings, I find them to be essentially a modern day version of Roman vomitoriums and/or masturbatoriums.

[sistahmoon]

My Mom bought me a Bridal magazine, it was depressing. It was full of all this merchandise that a bride who gave a shit about her wedding day should have cared about.

I just wanted to go to Vegas and get married by a Elvis with a monkey on his shoulders. BUT NO, my dream isn't recognized in the white folds of a bride's dream.

I didn't get my Monkey cake either, because it was tacky, and her point started where? Oh right, everywhere.

After awhile I just said "Yeah, that is great." because here is a secret that no one talks about...it is not your wedding, you are beholden to everyone who sacrifices a dime to the event.

The magazines gloss over the inevitable...something will go wrong, a person will flip out and you will get some glass blown clown that not even the desperate want on ebay.

That is the magazine I want, the one that would have prepared me for the truth.

[threepennies]

So you're saying weddings are like funerals? It's not *really* about the guest of honor...

This is why I intend to get married the same way I used to get laid in high school: relentless lies and sneaking around.

relentless lies and relentless denial

[bec_87rb]

Ha haa! Yes, Mom, we were at the movies for four hours, that is why I came home with my bra tucked in my back pocket and the hair at the back of my head all knotted in just that one spot.