watching the days slip by so fast [log]
* @Nate is waiting on a bench outside his apartment building, because... nexus, it's easy to get lost.
* @Threnody shows up...pretty promptly, considering she tends to operate on something one could call 'crazy girl time', but she actually got started early because: Nexus. It's easy to get lost. "Hey, you."
<@Nate> "Hey." he smiles a little - parts nervous and pleased. Holy shit this is weird. But good. Nate stands up. "Wasn't too hard to find?"
<@Threnody> "Nah. I'm kinda used to this place at this point." She runs her hand through her hair--which isn't fidgeting, shut up--and smiles back.
<@Nate> "Cool." He's wearing less layers this time, though it's probably hilarious that he's traded in black leather and biker pants for... sweaters! Dear god. "So-- uh, having a good day?" he heads for the lobby door, holding it open.
* @Threnody does find that kind of funny, but she supposes having a social worker show up in one of the outfits he ran around in Back In The Day would be potentially weird! "I don't know yet. Guess I'll find out. You know, this almost looks like a normal place until I remember where it is," she observes, heading into the building.
<@Nate> Things are decidedly crazy around town; a few doors as they go by are color-changing, a dragon flies lazily by the window, shit like that. Nexus lol. "It's actually kind of quiet," he admits.
<@Threnody> "Quiet seems to be what you were looking for," she guesses, glancing at that...dragon over her shoulder. Oookay then.
<@Nate> "Yeah..." how strange to think that he's standing here now with the girl - woman - that he first tried this with. He remembers their shitty apartment in New York and how Beast and Rogue had come to yell at them for psy-tricking the landlord out of needing to pay rent.
* @Nate unlocks the door and opens it. It's a decent sized place: nothing huge, but not cramped. It's clean but not sterile, and.. okay he forgot to put his pajamas in a hamper, fff.
* @Threnody glances around, wondering where this mysterious Steven is--and she does notice the pajamas, but hey, her place probably has clothing all over right now. She is not the most organized of girls. "Bigger than my first place in Philly was," she observes, absently, "so...this is weird, huh?"
<@Nate> "A bit, yeah." He laughs a little, somewhat anxious, but it's clear he's doing his best to break the bizarre tension. "...Oh--" and he picks up his pjs and goes to stuff them in his bedroom real quick.
* @Threnody leans against the wall, observing this. "I'd say we could just do the same things we did back when we first met, but that's not really applicable, is it?" No Marauders. Still some unanswered questions, though.
<@Nate> No Marauders, no... okay, well, maybe there's sexual tension but IT'S NOT LIKE THAT. Anymore. Yes. Nate returns, sans pajamas. "I'm sure we could find somebody to blow up, but the AV field is a headache."
<@Threnody> "Yeah...funny, though, when somebody tries to attack someone despite knowing it's there and goes flying back into the wall like a bouncy ball." Threnody you're mean.
<@Nate> "Did you know you can actually get momentum up with that and keep people going for like, minutes on end?" .... Nate.
* @Threnody looks briefly entertained by this notion. "I know some really stubborn motherfuckers who could go for longer, I bet."
<@Nate> "Or just really BIG people." Just imagine how long they could keep Juggernaut going!
* @Threnody laaughs, pushing off from the wall to wander over to him. "I think that constitutes taking advantage of the AVF, but I don't care. Hey, where's your roommate?"
<@Nate> "Not my fault I'm more creative than-oh! Yeah." He walks across the living room to the end table beneath the central window, on which is perched a large, circular fish bowl, containing a layer of blue marbles, a tiny ceramic diver, a lone strand of plastic seaweed, an empty brown glass rootbeer bottle, and one googly-eyed orange goldfish. "This is Steven."
* @Threnody pauses, and gives him this look like Of course that's Steven, you crazy man. "He looks like a partier." She's not going to laugh. /Not/ going to laugh.
<@Nate> "One time I think he was contemplating the meaning of the universe. It was a little weird."
* @Threnody just kind of swats his shoulder, amused. "He's kind of a homely little dude, isn't he?" Of course, this being the Nexus, it is entirely possible the fish will open its mouth and have like, huge fangs, God only knows.
<@Nate> Nope, he's just a normal goldfish. Nate laughs. "Yeah he doesn't get out as much as he used to. Not after his falling out with the club circuit."
* @Threnody looks over at the goldfish bowl, and then back at Nate. "So without all his raver buddies it's just you and Steven, I guess. Weird to think about you in one place for so long." But hey, if he can change, maybe she can, too.
* @Nate pokes the front of Steven's bowl lightly, and the little fish flits around, content in his mindless goldfish world. "...I always wanted it. I decided I wasn't going to take the opportunity for granted. You know?"
<@Threnody> "Yeah. I do know." She knows exactly--when she moved into the building with Elizabeth and Chas and Kevin and everyone else, that's what she was thinking.
<@Nate> "It's not a flat in Manhattan, but.." he shrugs, smiling.
<@Threnody> "Jesus, can you imagine trying to get an apartment in fucking Manhattan right now?" She pulls a face. "Yeah, no. This is--good, what you have here."
<@Nate> "I think I've run out my time in New York, anyway." Haha.. hahaha. Hah.
<@Threnody> "There's that, too. It's overrated, anyway--too crowded." Or maybe she just likes to try and ignore the memories, although with Nate right here that's sort of pointless.
<@Nate> "Yeah, I had enough of city life after that. I actually went fishing with Scott in Alaska..." .........
<@Threnody> .................. "And, uh. How was that."
<@Nate> ..................... "Oh my god it was /so retarded/."
* @Threnody just laughs and laughs, nudging him lightly when she wanders past. Because...their form of casual touching is weird, apparently, like most of the rest of their lives! At least T's half, anyway. "I'm sorry, I'm just trying to visualize--"
* @Nate can only keep a straight face with that memory for so long, and he dissolves into laughter with her. "No no it was JUST like you're imagining. He even had a /hat/."
<@Threnody> "Please tell me there was also, like...flannel and did you /catch/ anything?"
<@Nate> "It was /Alaska/ of course there was flannel - and no - well, I did, but I just felt BAD for it because it was this sad little fish being caught by the most dysfunctional people in the world and like, it should at least be eaten by a bear or something."
* @Threnody is just going to sit down on the ...arm of the nearest sofa, apparently, if he's got one; fuck sitting normally! When she's in the bar she will sit /on/ it, like the queen of alcohol, so. "I think I'm sorry I missed seeing it."
* @Nate sits on the sofa itself, near enough to not be awkwardly apart but not /too/ close. "It was basically terrible. I don't know. I got on with Jean better because she didn't try to force anything - I'm like the sixteenth clone child from another universe based on her DNA, so she was pretty over it. Just oh hi, here's a sandwich, do you want a hug? It was all pretty surreal."
<@Threnody> "I'm getting that impression," she acknowledges, leaning back against the back of the sofa, "And I don't know, I don't think you could pay me to go to Alaska. Winnipeg was fucked up enough." Threnody disapproves of the cold, it prevents her from wearing tiny hole-y shirts and skintight trousers.
* @Nate runs a hand through his hair and scratches his head absently, the white streak there mixing up uselessly with the brown. "It wasn't so bad, really. But it was so cut off. And the old bullshit still found us up there, so... pointless, ultimately."
<@Threnody> "Seems like it always does. But I mean...nobody hassles you here, right?" Not that she'd worry. Or anything. "Besides, I don't know, your boss."
<@Nate> "I've been pretty under the radar," he says with a shrug. You know, despite the hit and run moments he's had, but... anyway. "Sometimes I don't have a boss. Sometimes the entire office building vanished. I try not to question it."
<@Threnody> "That would freak me out," she declares, "I pretty much work for myself, I was actually--I worked as a bodyguard when I met Elizabeth. She has kids, had another one."
* @Nate recognizes the name, and pauses for a second, seeming disturbed.
<@Threnody> "I know," she mutters, rueful, "Trust me. I know."
<@Nate> "That's...." he has no words.
<@Threnody> "Unspeakably fucked up? I don't know. I think she's been disappointed by guys so many times she's just--he's offering her stability because she'll play little woman for him back at the house. And I get that she wants that, God knows I do too, but..." She shakes her head, frowning.
<@Nate> "But give it a year and the kids are going to be test subjects," he finishes for her.
<@Threnody> "I hope not. I really hope he values having some veneer of respectability more than that--he told me that he /had/ kids, actually. Before. They died, and so did his wife."
* @Nate gives a legitimate, involuntary shudder at that and stands up, as if he's suddenly too uncomfortable to keep still.
* @Threnody watches him, silent. "I'm sorry, I--" she exhales. "I shouldn't have mentioned any of that."
<@Nate> "It's okay," he says, turning back to her. "It's just-- you know, I've met more than one alternate and it's so... fucked up." He shakes his head. "I'm sorry it's happening."
* @Threnody stands up, too, arms loose at her sides only because she's telling herself not to do that self-protective thing. "Yeah. Me too."
* @Nate watches her for a moment, apparently trying to come up with an apppropriate response. "...So this is the part where I offer to go split apart his atoms and we can all just pretend he left something in the microwave for too long."
<@Threnody> "And...this is the part where I go against my instincts and say no," she laughs, like she's trying to bring some lightness back in the conversation, "Even though I'm sure he'd fucking deserve it. Just--the idea of him having kids? Is that what got to you?" Orrr maybe we could have a sharp veer toward some of Threnody's issues.
<@Nate> "It's just-- it's /wrong/, he-- the things he does with OTHER peoples kids--" and how /he/ could technically called a child of Sinister, having been engineered in a test tube by him.
* @Threnody reaches out for him without thinking. "I know." She hasn't honestly invested much time in thinking about what emotionally motivates Sinister, but then again, neither of them are inclined to show him much sympathy, for good reason.
<@Nate> Sinister doesn't deserve sympathy, something he's sure of - even if it's irrational (he knows, he KNOWS alternates can be DIFFERENT - look at Queen Jean, but Sinister is Sinister). He returns Threnody's embrace without thinking. "He keeps away from you, right?"
<@Threnody> "Yeah. He does." Because she could expose him--tell /everyone/ exactly who and what he is. And sometimes she considers doing it, but generally speaking she just wants to avoid him instead of risking being dogged the way she was as a teenager. "But, um...there's some stuff I should tell you."
* @Nate realizes they're still touching, holding - too close, probably - but he's concerned, now, and looks at her, half-frowning. His immediate thought is that someone's hurt her. "What is it?"
<@Threnody> If anything ruins this...whatever they're doing--trying to be friends again? Just talking, feeling each other out? It'll be this, she thinks, although that might be paranoia. She's sensitive about it. "Did you--aaah, fuck, I don't...know how to tell you this. I thought you'd notice, when we split up last time, or," she exhales, "fuck. I had a kid, Nate."
* @Nate stares at her, trying to parse this revelation. For a second he thinks, "I know", but then realizes - he doesn't. Does he? His frown sharpens, and suddenly some physical bit of pain flickers in his head and he flinches, one hand raising to press against his forehead.
* @Threnody steps back away from him, flustered, uncomfortable, /scared/ of what he's going to think. "I know I just--never said anything, and I know I should have, but...I don't know, I was freaking the fuck out, and then when we saw each other I knew that putting us together right then was just--a bad idea. Me with a kid and all my baggage? Add in all the constant fighting? I wanted to protect her. Not...that I managed." That last is quieter, less panicked and more resigned.
<@Nate> "I know this. I know this because I saw you. Didn't I?" he looks at her now, and there's something angry and almost panicked in his eyes. "Did I see you?"
<@Threnody> "--yeah. Yeah, but you didn't even..." She was too out of it with the death energy and everything else, but he'd barely seemed to notice, and that had been plain bizarre. "Nate?"
<@Nate> "I keep-- I think about it and I get headaches and I--" his voice distorts and that corona of psi-light flares around his eye, and suddenly he's not speaking to Threnody anymore. "What did you do."
<@Threnody> "/Nate/--" Okay, that's not good. Nate is one of the few people around who can fuck Threnody up, even, and she doesn't know where his mind is going now.
<@Nate> The room shakes and a few things lift off the floor - from the kitchen there's the sound of a glass falling, a pillow floats up, clothes and hair become weightless - he's /angry/, angrier than he's been in ages and-- it stops, and he gasps, light flickering out.
* @Threnody breathes out, feeling something dissipate--she was absorbing that, she thinks, with a terrible little twist in her gut, she knows his energy--and despite herself she rushes forward to him. "Come on. Come sit with me."
<@Nate> "Sorry - I didn't mean- I just-" he's obviously flustered and somewhat out of it, having done something violent in the astral plane to yank himself back down to earth.
<@Threnody> "It's okay. Sit down." She tugs at his arm to bring him over to the sofa again, intending to sit down right with him and keep an eye on him. This isn't how she expected her confession to go, but... really, she's not /shocked/.
* @Nate sits, not questioning her guidance. He's quiet for a long moment, staring at his hands. When he finally looks back at her, he says: "And I just let you go. I /left/ you."
* @Threnody is unable to deny it; she knows he was being influenced, but she wasn't aware of that before and for the longest time she'd felt like she'd been abandoned. Really, it was a series of outside influences, other people that tore them apart, not each other, and /now/ she understands. And in the now, she says, quiet: "I said some shitty things, too."
* @Nate shakes his head, exhausted and bitter. "I can't-- I can barely remember that whole time and it HURTS to think about. All this time later and she's STILL fucking up my head."
* @Threnody slips an arm around him, thinks about saying 'fuck her, then,' doesn't because of the pun and the fact that she has this incredibly fucked-up fear that he did and can't ask that. "I'm sorry."
<@Nate> "/You/ shouldn't have to be comforting /me/," he says.
<@Threnody> "Well, I am, and..." She drops her hands down to her lap instead, shrugging. "You always took care of me."
* @Nate watches her hands, and then reaches out to hold them, because he misses doing that and it feels right, at the moment. "...What happened?" A beat, then, quietly: "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
<@Threnody> "No, I, um..." She looks at their entwined hands, and then up at Nate's expression. "It was--pretty fucking obvious, actually. With my powers the way they were...the government, the way they think of mutants--why would they let me keep her? I was stupid to think I could be a mother, but she's somewhere better now, with people who are...stable, I guess."
<@Nate> "Christ." his voice is shaky - it's almost too overwhelming to stand, but he keeps it together. What if he'd been there? It's not like anyone would let HIM be a father, either. He wasn't even a citizen of that UNIVERSE. "I'm so fucking sorry."
* @Threnody tightens her grip on his hands, briefly, and doesn't say anything. She's quiet, watching Nate, once again sort of amazed by how much he's capable of caring about people. It had surprised her back in the day, too, after the life she'd led.
* @Nate has to care about people. He has no faith in god or himself or heroes, and he doesn't /have/ anything else. He squeezes her hands, quietly mourning how much he's failed her - failed /them/, and privately trying to quash the simmering rage underneath it all.
<@Threnody> "...I didn't mean for us to get this heavy," she says, sort of tentatively wry.
<@Nate> "Hey, it's okay," he says, exhaling a shaky - but stronger than before - breath. "Ignorance sucks."
<@Threnody> "So I hear. I figure after however many years of keeping all this stuff from you, maybe I should tell you the truth now. When it's...safer to." And he has been really forthcoming with her, which she does appreciate.
<@Nate> "It's not like we've been intentionally hiding from each other," he points out, giving her a lopsided, tentative smile. ... Well, he hasn't been, at least.
<@Threnody> "Fair enough." Chas had had what she terms now 'Nate Issues'; issues with comparing to this guy who had been a big part of most of her formative experiences that she, er, remembers. She's not really sorry about that, either.
* @Nate doesn't want to come stomping all over her life. If she has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend. That's not even in the realm of what he should be thinking about, anyway. If she doesn't want to even see him anymore, he'll respect it. He'd love to be around her, yes, but not if she'd be unhappy about it. "...Thank you. For telling me."
* @Threnody isn't even sure what she's doing here--she'd decided a while ago she was done with relationships, but seeing an ex and talking about the insane things in their past is a whole different story. Still--something is there for her. Maybe it's just how things are for everyone with exes, who knows. "You're welcome. Even if I wish I had good things to tell you instead."
<@Nate> "You do. You're okay. You've got a bar. Those are great."
<@Threnody> "A bar nobody goes to," she reminds him, but with a slight smile, "but that was my own fault. Spent four months in the apocalypse and business kind of died off."
<@Nate> "I don't see you dressed in a trash bag," he teases lightly.
<@Threnody> "I don't pay rent! It helps. But no, if I were broke I'd just go around in underwear, in the Nexus nobody cares." NOT WRONG. "You're right, though, I'm doing okay." And this is, momentary flipouts on either side aside, going okay, too.
<@Nate> "You... would go around in underwear even if you had designer dresses." ... Nate you're going to get hit.
* @Threnody shoves him a little, even though they're sitting together. "Designer underwear. Problem solved. I like how that's the part of that you focus on, though, Nate." She's aaaalmost laughing again, in that way she has.
<@Nate> "/You/ started it." NOT WRONG EITHER. He smiles a little, teasing gently.
<@Threnody> "Ohh," she does laugh now, "You know me, I just can't help myself."
* @Nate is, apparently, fully calmed down by now - or at least not in any danger of blowing something up. "So uh, do you want anything to eat? I can.. sort of make eggs okay."
<@Threnody> "Sort of?" She raises her eyebrows. "Sure."
<@Nate> "Well I haven't died yet." ........ "Or we could order something." >_>
<@Threnody> "Ordering would probably be easier," she speculates, smiling a little, "Where from?"
<@Nate> "...Anywhere?" ...Nexus. "Do you still like Thai?"
<@Threnody> "Yeah, I do," she says, kind of pleased he remembered, "If that's what you're feeling like."
<@Nate> "Well, I'm still a garbage disposal. And I like Thai."
<@Threnody> "You're a /guy/, of course you are. Okay, let's go with Thai, then." She doesn't bring up alcohol again, but it occurs to her--maybe it'd be better if she drank less, though. ('Maybe,' Threnody? Really?)
* @Nate does have a beer every so often, but it's a rarity and usually when he's come alone and reading, because... yes. He finds a phone book (something huge and technicolor and obviously a nexus originated thing) and... proceeds to get food, HUZZAH.
<@Threnody> "I'm probably not allowed to terrorize Nexus deliverymen," she guesses. Threnody you are not 'allowed' to terrorize deliverymen in general, not even if they end up being 15 minutes late.
<@Nate> "Sometimes they're delivery /bees/."
<@Threnody> "How--" No, actually, she's not even going to ask that! "Delivery bees. Well, damn."
<@Nate> "Yeeaaah." He laughs a bit. "So this is... pretty much my life."
<@Threnody> "Doesn't suck," she says, mild, "it seems maybe kind of..." Haha there is no good way to say this. "Lonely? In places? But that might be me projecting. Or being retarded, one or the other."
<@Nate> "It's--".... really, Nate? "Yeah, I talk to my goldfish." He runs a hand through his hair, somewhat sheepish. "I don't know, I guess when I decided I needed a break - everyone wanted something from me or wanted me to do something, or just to drain my power and kill me, whatever - I forgot to stop taking one."
* @Threnody kind of sympathizes, because she did notice (how could you not) how people thought of Nate in terms of his powers, what he could do, whereas Threnody...kind of wanted to erase that part of their lives. "I know it's simpler that way."
<@Nate> "It is. I don't know how healthy, though. At least for me." He implies a bit there that other people are safer when they're not around him, which... he has a point.
<@Threnody> "I don't think so, no." He might have a point, but she figures if he stuck to the Nexus, maybe... "So an idea I'm getting from this iiis I should drag you out more." She pauses, a touch sheepish. "If that's okay."
* @Nate smiles. "If you want to."
<@Threnody> "I do want to. I mean..." She hesitates. "I've sort of been avoiding people, too."
<@Nate> "Hey, that means we're both kicking ass today."
<@Threnody> "It does, doesn't it." Her smile is genuine, which is rarer than it should be, lately. "Elizabeth wants to 'talk,' but... fuck it. I'd rather be over here."
<@Nate> "I'd rather you be here, too." ...Because of talking about Sinister or because she's /with him/...!
<@Threnody> Ambiguity: that's clearly what they need more of. Threnody fusses with her hair. "Well. Here I am. Heels and all." SHE WILL NEVER GIVE THOSE UP, but especially because Nate is even taller now and that is just not fair.
<@Nate> "You do rock the heels better than anyone," he says, grinning.
<@Threnody> "I have to," she grins right back, "with all you tall bastards running around. Seriously, you grew how is that fair." T is 5'7" and will be forever and ever amen, which is kinda short for a Marvel girl.
<@Nate> "I guess I still had some growing up to do," he says, laughing quietly.
<@Threnody> "You know by most people's standards we're barely grown /now/," she considers that out loud, thoughtfully.
<@Nate> "We're not most people. Dunno if you noticed." Hiiii.
<@Threnody> "Oh, there's the smartassery. If I have to come over there," she threatens, as though she will do something terrible to him (this is deeply unlikely).
<@Nate> "It was hiding. With Steven." Eyebrows. "Empty threats."
<@Threnody> "Goading me is not a good idea," she sing-songs.
<@Nate> "It's never failed me before," he returns, in the same tune.
* @Threnody casually just ruffles his hair. Because she can, and it's kind of obnoxious. "We'll see about that. I'll just have to go through my repertoire of blackmail material later."
* @Nate 's hair is pretty much how it's always been - halfway decently groomed and with an inexplicable white streak in it. He's tried dying it over but it fades too fast for him to care anymore. "I think as far as blackmail goes we may be at a stalemate."
* @Threnody considers that. "Youuu missed some amazing behavior on my part in that vein, so I don't know about that."
<@Nate> "...So what you're saying is, I could.. potentially go discover things and be AHEAD of you."
<@Threnody> "What I'm saying is I no longer have anything resembling shame," she says, mock-solemn, "I have a /reputation/." Or she did, anyway, back when she was...around more. "Also: don't do that." >_>
<@Nate> "Wwhhhhyyyyyy what would I find?" :>
<@Threnody> "Well," she lies, cheerfully, "you missed my trying my hand at being a dominatrix." THRENODY.
<@Nate> "/Missed/? I think you're lying about /something/ here." NATE.
<@Threnody> "You can buy the videos on the internet." Okay now she's just being ridiculous. Also, biting her lip to avoid laughing. "Am I lying, Nate? 'Cause I sure don't remember /thaaat/..."
<@Nate> There is a joke about why buy when she's here that he's just NOT GOING TO MAKE. "Yooou are blanking out on some of your choice outfits, which /totally/ counted--"
<@Threnody> "That does /not/ fucking count, those were clothes! No one is bossed around by my clothes. Probably." She puts her hands on her hips, and doesn't realize that she feels more her /actual age/ right now, in lieu of 20 years older, than she has in months.
<@Nate> "No, I'm serious, even now, you're moonlighting--" okay he is going to GRAB HER FOOT NOW-- "This? This right here? Is a dominatrix heel."
<@Threnody> "And yet, and this is the key thing, I feel no particular compulsion--" she balances carefully, giving him a monumentally amused look, "--to walk on you. Yet."
<@Nate> "Yet. It's the yet thing."
<@Threnody> "I think you're kind of intrigued here, Nate. I think you kinda like the idea." Will they ever stop trolling each other.
<@Nate> "You know, maybe. It's just me and Steven here, and he gets all weepy.." NATE, WHY.
<@Threnody> "Okay next time I'm actually gonna pull your hair," she tells him, seriously, "also, let go of my foot, weirdo."
* @Nate lets go of her foot. And also sticks his tongue out at her real quick OH IS THAT THE DOOR, MUST BE FOOD.
* @Threnody casually follows after. Provided they are not being brought food by... uh, a bee, she's going to casually lean over Nate's shoulder, smile, slide a hand through his hair (and TUG, just a little), and say, "Okay, you pay for that, and then go back in your cage. Where's your collar, anyway?"
<@Nate> "I think I left it with your panties, sweetheart," he says without missing a beat (though he might have bit back a noise when she pulled his hair - the man hasn't been laid in over a year, have some fucking PITY), and veeeery casually pays the deliverygirl. Who is. Of course. Horrified.
* @Threnody thinks pity is for other people! She smiles at the delivery girl, like 'Men. What are you going to do?' To which the answer is, at least by the impression T wants to give, 'lock them in cages,' who knows. "They get mouthy," she says, conspiratory. RUN, DELIVERY GIRL.
<@Threnody> On the plus side that girl will have the most amazing story to tell her friends/coworkers later.
<@Nate> "It's because you never FEED ME unless I'm wearing the--oh, I think we scared her off..."
* @Threnody sinks back to lean against the wall, looking smug. "I'll pay my half. I think we made an impression!"
* @Nate is, perhaps fortunately, to momentarily entertained to be awed at how easily they fall back into these patterns. "An impression of 'oh dear god never deliver to that address again', anyway."
<@Threnody> "Alternately she will one day become Mistress Pain, and we can say we inspired her," Threnody says, /very solemn/.
<@Nate> "I shudder to think my somewhat recently pasty visage being bossed around has turned anyone to the love that shall not speak its name without a credit card," he muses, traveling to the kitchen with the food.
<@Threnody> "Nate you cannot help being a white boy," she says, deeply sympathetic, "we all have flaws. Anyway--" She wanders into the kitchen, too. "Where are your plates?"
<@Nate> "Do you know what a /scene kid/ is?" he asks, sounding disturbed. "People look at my hair and think I'm a /scene kid/. It's sickening. And~" he looks over his shoulder and a cabinet opens on its own: voila, plates.
<@Threnody> "I'm fairly certain those have started to infiltrate the Nexus," she says, with a grimace, "I don't get it, personally." Plates!
<@Nate> "I've had to work with a few that've stumbled in and just not gone home. Water, or tea?"
<@Threnody> "Uhh water's okay." She is not a big tea person, as a rule. Also, those aforementioned dominatrix boots are actually going to get kicked off by the front door so she can wander around in her stocking feet, although in part this is because she wants to see if he'll make a crack about it. "Did you give her a good tip, by the way?"
* @Nate looks over his shoulder at her, a faintly incredulous look on his face. "Grabbing me like that, I have no fucking idea if I gave her a hundred dollars or two."
<@Threnody> "I'll keep it in mind as a distractionary tactic," she says, shameless, sidling back into the kitchen.
* @Nate fills up some water glasses and sends them off to the coffee table in the living room, and then divvies up food. "You're still endless trouble, you know that." Not without affection.
<@Threnody> "You keep saying that and you keep liking it all at the same time," she muses out loud, leaning against a counter and watching him, "some people would find that confusing!" Not her, though. There are plenty of other things about this to find confusing!
<@Nate> "You said it, though. I've always liked trouble." Good for him or not. He hands her a plate.
<@Threnody> "Certain flavors aren't all bad," she claims, "thanks." And now she's going to go where the glasses of water are and set her plate down to eat.
* @Nate waits in the kitchen a moment - getting his head together. You know, like, oh my god stop hitting on your ex! Your ex... full of baggage that is KIND OF YOURS, TOO. He plunks down on the sofa when he does join her, shortly.
* @Threnody has DELICIOUS THAI, brought to them by a now-traumatized deliverygirl. "Well, I have to say, I'm a little sad I probably got you blacklisted, this is pretty good."
<@Nate> "Let's just hope I did tip her a hundred, then."
<@Threnody> "If you did I hope that made up for it, 'cause if not I really just should've done something worse to you." She smiles at him, and then goes back to her meal. Threnody still thinks like a street kid, $100 would be a lot to her! Although currency in the Nexus gets really skewed.
* @Nate has been functioning primarily in the Nexus for possibly too long - money is hopelessly lost on him at this point. "Promises, promises..."
<@Threnody> "Nooo, that was threatening. They're very similar!" Stop bantering long enough to eat, guys.
<@Nate> Hey, Nate is already stuffing his face. He wasn't lying about being a garbage disposal. "I'm a hard guy to threaten."
<@Threnody> "Well, I'm creative, which you know."
<@Nate> "This.. I know quite well."
<@Threnody> "Better than most people." Although some have been 'lucky' enough to see how creative she can be when she's /actually/ annoyed, see: during the Winnipeg apocalypse. "Man, I think this is the first actual meal I've had in like...two months." Because she subsists off, like, booze and whatever's in the bar, yes. A+ taking care of yourself, T.
<@Nate> ".../Should/ you be wearing trash bags?" Some concern there.
<@Threnody> "No, I'm just never home enough to cook," she shrugs. Also: Chas used to take care of it, that was partly at fault in the beginning. "I'm exaggerating, it's not that bad." Not by much, but. "All the Thai places in Philadelphia are terrible."
<@Nate> "Mmm..." he's halfway through his food. Nom. "Do you like it there?"
<@Threnody> "Well, it ain't Greece, but it's not bad. Cities are cities, you know? Kinda the same anywhere, in terms of anonymity."
* @Nate ... does not know how to feel about remembering Greece. Nostalgic, yes, but ... anyway. "That's true, I guess."
<@Threnody> "I'll probably move soon. The building is completely fucking awkward now, aaand...there's plenty of things I haven't seen." She thinks that's an okay way to look at it.
<@Nate> "There's a beach on an Earth I visted once that has rainbow waterfalls. It's kind of like Care Bears vomitted everywhere." ... you know, because of the topic of seeing things.
<@Threnody> "I'm probably not gonna put that on my to see list, then," she says, after a moment of silence, "Also, what the fuck."
* @Nate shrugs, trying not to laugh.
<@Threnody> "How many Earths have you even been to at this point?" She sets her silverware down, glancing over at Nate.
<@Nate> "Ah... maybe a hundred... I... stay away from our spiral, though." He looks away at that, almost uncomfortable.
<@Threnody> "You should come see Philly where I'm at sometime, if you feel like it." She knows that leaving the Nexus is somewhat risky, but she doesn't live anywhere near a universe like the one she was born in. "It's pretty normal there. Like, weird-normal--no Avengers, nothing like that."
<@Nate> "...I like those places. Better, anyway."
<@Threnody> "Me too. Life without Tony Stark: pretty damn good." Yeees she has her political opinions, so what.
* @Nate makes a thoughtful, dismissive noise at that, like... yes, I've heard of that, no, I haven't fucked with an alt, why do you ask >___>
* @Threnody ...tips her head to one side. "Naaate."
* @Nate coughs.
<@Threnody> "You are shifty," she says, accusingly.
<@Nate> "I am a man of few morals and fewer hobbies." .....Nate that is not helping you.
<@Threnody> "...Nate what did you do." She is betting it's going to make her laugh.
<@Nate> "Well.. social worker.. domestic disputes.. he used to drink a lot.." >___> "At least one world on the spiral has someone else as head of SHIELD."
<@Threnody> "That is fucking /sneaky/," Threnody tells him, approvingly.
* @Nate shrugs. "I don't want to get involved with anything back there again, but seriously, what the fuck. He should know better."
<@Threnody> "S'why I left, all of that bullshit." She stretches her legs, leaning back against the back of the sofa. "And I am never going back."
<@Nate> "I hear that." Three years, no desire to return.
<@Threnody> "I was keeping an eye on this kid from our universe. Kevin. Ginger calls him Bus Stop 'cause he was living in one." Having finished her dinner, she just extends her hands, staring at them, imagining if she had Kevin's ability. "He kills everything he touches, that's his mutation."
<@Nate> "Like Rogue?" Nate shutters away a little at that. Sometimes he's (perhaps rightfully) guilty about being engineered to be 'perfect'.
<@Threnody> "Not...exactly. It just decays. Instantly. He's careful with it, though--so he doesn't get addicted." Like she did. Nate offered to help her, then, didn't he? And she would've gone, but...Maddie. "But you'n him are basically all I've seen from our--spiral? Oh, except Gambit, for about five seconds. You know, the Cajun?"
* @Threnody never stops referring to Remy that way ever.
* @Nate nods - he knows /of/ Gambit, anyway. Another outcast. Less annoying than some, in that way at least. "How's he doing? Kevin."
<@Threnody> "He's okay. He ran off and got temporarily kidnapped during the fucking apocalypse thing--he wanted to prove himself, I guess. Teenagers." She says, being a whole, like, three or four years out of her teens.
<@Nate> "Yes, damn those teenagers being kidnapped and shit." ... <@Threnody> "Voice of experience, yeah." She nudges him with her leg, amused. "I would say I didn't get abducted that much but I would actually be lying."
<@Nate> "Yeah, you kinda would," he teases, nudging her knee back with his.
<@Threnody> "I have to keep an eye on you, now, you'll ruin my rep as a badass with all those stories you got." Nudge-back. This appears to be a war. Stop that, T. "Fortunately I think I have pictures of you back in the day." This is a lie, but imagine if that were true.
<@Nate> "While I was doing what? Punching people?"
<@Threnody> "Those were generally not photographable times. Although I do wish I had a picture of you as Quentin Tarentino." That was one of the good-weird days.
<@Nate> "Do you still have your orange pants?" :D
<@Threnody> "It was a shirt the pants were green /shut up/--" Now she's going to swipe at him a little, playful. "I can't believe I got away with wearing that thing in public." NEITHER CAN HER TYPIST, FTR.
<@Nate> "Oh, well. Something was orange." Maybe he was just staring at her ass the whole time! NO ONE CAN BELIEVE THE 90S, MARVEL.
<@Threnody> "That's what happens when they kick you out of the good stores." Probably for stealing, knowing Threnody back in the day. "People were very scandalized at my Halloween costume and I wanted to tell them about what some of the Avengers wear /every/ damn day."
* @Nate is... not going to talk about the red getup he had for a while there. Because HIS TYPIST REJECTS ITS EXISTENCE. ".../Capes/."
<@Threnody> "Capes with lingerie. A schoolgirl uniform for one night was comparatively like, the tamest thing out there. I'm pretty sure there's a dude now whose entire costume is covered in spikes, which strikes me as sort of impractical." Sup Penance what's wrong with you.
<@Nate> "Schoolgirl, huh." Nate... stop. "Yeah, I don't know. I still have some of the leather, but I haven't bothered with wearing it."
<@Threnody> "I even had a tie," she confirms, lightly, "Why do you keep it, then?"
* @Nate shrugs. "My past is a part of me. You know. Making peace."
<@Threnody> "It makes sense," she agrees, cautiously, but it gets her thinking again (as she does ever so often) about how she has no idea where she comes from, really. "What happens after you manage that, anyway? Making peace. Does everything just kinda plateau?"
<@Nate> "I don't know yet." he looks at her, elbows on his knees. "I'll tell you when I get there."
<@Threnody> "All right. Send me a postcard." She tips her head back, watching him looking at her.
* @Nate seems like he might move - toward her - "I will." - but then stands and picks up their plates to take back to the kitchen.
* @Threnody glances after him and then up at the ceiling. Whaaat are they doing. Specifically: what is /she/ doing? How is it possible to be comfortable with someone and disconcerted by that level of comfort simultaneously?
* @Nate is wondering THE SAME THING, shock!!! He takes a moment in the safety of the kitchen to facepalm and do a mental keyboard mash at the entire situation. He thought he could handle this and be fine but there's - something - between them still, something almost tangible. He fills up his water glass again.
<@Threnody> It is probably worth considering that the something between them is that they are dumb in the exact same way, which is to say they do a very good job of appearing not-dumb when with other people and then when you put them in a room alone together there's all sorts of flailing and stammering and tension. Threnody should probably think a little more before doing these things but instead she's going to sprawl on his sofa like she owns it, head on the armrest.
<@Nate> Whatever they've grown into, they haven't grown out of whatever had drawn them together, it seems. Nate pauses in the doorway, just looking at her - and when he rejoins her in the living room he sits down on the floor near her head, reaching out with one hand to smooth back her hair, silent.
<@Threnody> She did not expect him to do that, but it's...familiar, and she likes it. The nearness, and the way he still knows her. "It seems later than it is," she observes, absently.
* @Nate lays his head down on the edge of the sofa, not touching her further, just resting there next to her. "It's because we're apart, here."
<@Threnody> "Maybe I like being apart." It doesn't suck when you're not by yourself.
<@Nate> "Do you want to stay here for a while?" he asks quietly. He doesn't mean anything by it - she can probably tell. But for some reason, just taking a nap with the sun outside and nothing at all in the universe happening sounds ... pretty nice.
* @Threnody thinks about it for a few seconds--she knows he's not implying anything, but frankly the longer they're around each other like this the more intensified certain things are going to get. But they're adults, and it's safe here--in the ways that she needs. "If you don't mind having me around, I'd like that, yeah."
<@Nate> This is okay. Just staying like this - stablizing contact and maybe some duct tape for their mouths because they keep Saying Things. He strokes her hair again, almost comforting. "You're always welcome wherever I am."
<@Threnody> Sometimes it seems like they haven't been apart all that long. (Other times she's abruptly reminded of the space between then and now.) "We should probably ask Steven's permission. For politeness's sake."
* @Nate shifts his head to stare at the goldfish, who is... swimming. Pause. Silence. "...He's doing that thing where he imagines he's a petunia again."
<@Threnody> "Are you letting your fish read Douglas Adams? That can't end well."
* @Threnody shows up...pretty promptly, considering she tends to operate on something one could call 'crazy girl time', but she actually got started early because: Nexus. It's easy to get lost. "Hey, you."
<@Nate> "Hey." he smiles a little - parts nervous and pleased. Holy shit this is weird. But good. Nate stands up. "Wasn't too hard to find?"
<@Threnody> "Nah. I'm kinda used to this place at this point." She runs her hand through her hair--which isn't fidgeting, shut up--and smiles back.
<@Nate> "Cool." He's wearing less layers this time, though it's probably hilarious that he's traded in black leather and biker pants for... sweaters! Dear god. "So-- uh, having a good day?" he heads for the lobby door, holding it open.
* @Threnody does find that kind of funny, but she supposes having a social worker show up in one of the outfits he ran around in Back In The Day would be potentially weird! "I don't know yet. Guess I'll find out. You know, this almost looks like a normal place until I remember where it is," she observes, heading into the building.
<@Nate> Things are decidedly crazy around town; a few doors as they go by are color-changing, a dragon flies lazily by the window, shit like that. Nexus lol. "It's actually kind of quiet," he admits.
<@Threnody> "Quiet seems to be what you were looking for," she guesses, glancing at that...dragon over her shoulder. Oookay then.
<@Nate> "Yeah..." how strange to think that he's standing here now with the girl - woman - that he first tried this with. He remembers their shitty apartment in New York and how Beast and Rogue had come to yell at them for psy-tricking the landlord out of needing to pay rent.
* @Nate unlocks the door and opens it. It's a decent sized place: nothing huge, but not cramped. It's clean but not sterile, and.. okay he forgot to put his pajamas in a hamper, fff.
* @Threnody glances around, wondering where this mysterious Steven is--and she does notice the pajamas, but hey, her place probably has clothing all over right now. She is not the most organized of girls. "Bigger than my first place in Philly was," she observes, absently, "so...this is weird, huh?"
<@Nate> "A bit, yeah." He laughs a little, somewhat anxious, but it's clear he's doing his best to break the bizarre tension. "...Oh--" and he picks up his pjs and goes to stuff them in his bedroom real quick.
* @Threnody leans against the wall, observing this. "I'd say we could just do the same things we did back when we first met, but that's not really applicable, is it?" No Marauders. Still some unanswered questions, though.
<@Nate> No Marauders, no... okay, well, maybe there's sexual tension but IT'S NOT LIKE THAT. Anymore. Yes. Nate returns, sans pajamas. "I'm sure we could find somebody to blow up, but the AV field is a headache."
<@Threnody> "Yeah...funny, though, when somebody tries to attack someone despite knowing it's there and goes flying back into the wall like a bouncy ball." Threnody you're mean.
<@Nate> "Did you know you can actually get momentum up with that and keep people going for like, minutes on end?" .... Nate.
* @Threnody looks briefly entertained by this notion. "I know some really stubborn motherfuckers who could go for longer, I bet."
<@Nate> "Or just really BIG people." Just imagine how long they could keep Juggernaut going!
* @Threnody laaughs, pushing off from the wall to wander over to him. "I think that constitutes taking advantage of the AVF, but I don't care. Hey, where's your roommate?"
<@Nate> "Not my fault I'm more creative than-oh! Yeah." He walks across the living room to the end table beneath the central window, on which is perched a large, circular fish bowl, containing a layer of blue marbles, a tiny ceramic diver, a lone strand of plastic seaweed, an empty brown glass rootbeer bottle, and one googly-eyed orange goldfish. "This is Steven."
* @Threnody pauses, and gives him this look like Of course that's Steven, you crazy man. "He looks like a partier." She's not going to laugh. /Not/ going to laugh.
<@Nate> "One time I think he was contemplating the meaning of the universe. It was a little weird."
* @Threnody just kind of swats his shoulder, amused. "He's kind of a homely little dude, isn't he?" Of course, this being the Nexus, it is entirely possible the fish will open its mouth and have like, huge fangs, God only knows.
<@Nate> Nope, he's just a normal goldfish. Nate laughs. "Yeah he doesn't get out as much as he used to. Not after his falling out with the club circuit."
* @Threnody looks over at the goldfish bowl, and then back at Nate. "So without all his raver buddies it's just you and Steven, I guess. Weird to think about you in one place for so long." But hey, if he can change, maybe she can, too.
* @Nate pokes the front of Steven's bowl lightly, and the little fish flits around, content in his mindless goldfish world. "...I always wanted it. I decided I wasn't going to take the opportunity for granted. You know?"
<@Threnody> "Yeah. I do know." She knows exactly--when she moved into the building with Elizabeth and Chas and Kevin and everyone else, that's what she was thinking.
<@Nate> "It's not a flat in Manhattan, but.." he shrugs, smiling.
<@Threnody> "Jesus, can you imagine trying to get an apartment in fucking Manhattan right now?" She pulls a face. "Yeah, no. This is--good, what you have here."
<@Nate> "I think I've run out my time in New York, anyway." Haha.. hahaha. Hah.
<@Threnody> "There's that, too. It's overrated, anyway--too crowded." Or maybe she just likes to try and ignore the memories, although with Nate right here that's sort of pointless.
<@Nate> "Yeah, I had enough of city life after that. I actually went fishing with Scott in Alaska..." .........
<@Threnody> .................. "And, uh. How was that."
<@Nate> ..................... "Oh my god it was /so retarded/."
* @Threnody just laughs and laughs, nudging him lightly when she wanders past. Because...their form of casual touching is weird, apparently, like most of the rest of their lives! At least T's half, anyway. "I'm sorry, I'm just trying to visualize--"
* @Nate can only keep a straight face with that memory for so long, and he dissolves into laughter with her. "No no it was JUST like you're imagining. He even had a /hat/."
<@Threnody> "Please tell me there was also, like...flannel and did you /catch/ anything?"
<@Nate> "It was /Alaska/ of course there was flannel - and no - well, I did, but I just felt BAD for it because it was this sad little fish being caught by the most dysfunctional people in the world and like, it should at least be eaten by a bear or something."
* @Threnody is just going to sit down on the ...arm of the nearest sofa, apparently, if he's got one; fuck sitting normally! When she's in the bar she will sit /on/ it, like the queen of alcohol, so. "I think I'm sorry I missed seeing it."
* @Nate sits on the sofa itself, near enough to not be awkwardly apart but not /too/ close. "It was basically terrible. I don't know. I got on with Jean better because she didn't try to force anything - I'm like the sixteenth clone child from another universe based on her DNA, so she was pretty over it. Just oh hi, here's a sandwich, do you want a hug? It was all pretty surreal."
<@Threnody> "I'm getting that impression," she acknowledges, leaning back against the back of the sofa, "And I don't know, I don't think you could pay me to go to Alaska. Winnipeg was fucked up enough." Threnody disapproves of the cold, it prevents her from wearing tiny hole-y shirts and skintight trousers.
* @Nate runs a hand through his hair and scratches his head absently, the white streak there mixing up uselessly with the brown. "It wasn't so bad, really. But it was so cut off. And the old bullshit still found us up there, so... pointless, ultimately."
<@Threnody> "Seems like it always does. But I mean...nobody hassles you here, right?" Not that she'd worry. Or anything. "Besides, I don't know, your boss."
<@Nate> "I've been pretty under the radar," he says with a shrug. You know, despite the hit and run moments he's had, but... anyway. "Sometimes I don't have a boss. Sometimes the entire office building vanished. I try not to question it."
<@Threnody> "That would freak me out," she declares, "I pretty much work for myself, I was actually--I worked as a bodyguard when I met Elizabeth. She has kids, had another one."
* @Nate recognizes the name, and pauses for a second, seeming disturbed.
<@Threnody> "I know," she mutters, rueful, "Trust me. I know."
<@Nate> "That's...." he has no words.
<@Threnody> "Unspeakably fucked up? I don't know. I think she's been disappointed by guys so many times she's just--he's offering her stability because she'll play little woman for him back at the house. And I get that she wants that, God knows I do too, but..." She shakes her head, frowning.
<@Nate> "But give it a year and the kids are going to be test subjects," he finishes for her.
<@Threnody> "I hope not. I really hope he values having some veneer of respectability more than that--he told me that he /had/ kids, actually. Before. They died, and so did his wife."
* @Nate gives a legitimate, involuntary shudder at that and stands up, as if he's suddenly too uncomfortable to keep still.
* @Threnody watches him, silent. "I'm sorry, I--" she exhales. "I shouldn't have mentioned any of that."
<@Nate> "It's okay," he says, turning back to her. "It's just-- you know, I've met more than one alternate and it's so... fucked up." He shakes his head. "I'm sorry it's happening."
* @Threnody stands up, too, arms loose at her sides only because she's telling herself not to do that self-protective thing. "Yeah. Me too."
* @Nate watches her for a moment, apparently trying to come up with an apppropriate response. "...So this is the part where I offer to go split apart his atoms and we can all just pretend he left something in the microwave for too long."
<@Threnody> "And...this is the part where I go against my instincts and say no," she laughs, like she's trying to bring some lightness back in the conversation, "Even though I'm sure he'd fucking deserve it. Just--the idea of him having kids? Is that what got to you?" Orrr maybe we could have a sharp veer toward some of Threnody's issues.
<@Nate> "It's just-- it's /wrong/, he-- the things he does with OTHER peoples kids--" and how /he/ could technically called a child of Sinister, having been engineered in a test tube by him.
* @Threnody reaches out for him without thinking. "I know." She hasn't honestly invested much time in thinking about what emotionally motivates Sinister, but then again, neither of them are inclined to show him much sympathy, for good reason.
<@Nate> Sinister doesn't deserve sympathy, something he's sure of - even if it's irrational (he knows, he KNOWS alternates can be DIFFERENT - look at Queen Jean, but Sinister is Sinister). He returns Threnody's embrace without thinking. "He keeps away from you, right?"
<@Threnody> "Yeah. He does." Because she could expose him--tell /everyone/ exactly who and what he is. And sometimes she considers doing it, but generally speaking she just wants to avoid him instead of risking being dogged the way she was as a teenager. "But, um...there's some stuff I should tell you."
* @Nate realizes they're still touching, holding - too close, probably - but he's concerned, now, and looks at her, half-frowning. His immediate thought is that someone's hurt her. "What is it?"
<@Threnody> If anything ruins this...whatever they're doing--trying to be friends again? Just talking, feeling each other out? It'll be this, she thinks, although that might be paranoia. She's sensitive about it. "Did you--aaah, fuck, I don't...know how to tell you this. I thought you'd notice, when we split up last time, or," she exhales, "fuck. I had a kid, Nate."
* @Nate stares at her, trying to parse this revelation. For a second he thinks, "I know", but then realizes - he doesn't. Does he? His frown sharpens, and suddenly some physical bit of pain flickers in his head and he flinches, one hand raising to press against his forehead.
* @Threnody steps back away from him, flustered, uncomfortable, /scared/ of what he's going to think. "I know I just--never said anything, and I know I should have, but...I don't know, I was freaking the fuck out, and then when we saw each other I knew that putting us together right then was just--a bad idea. Me with a kid and all my baggage? Add in all the constant fighting? I wanted to protect her. Not...that I managed." That last is quieter, less panicked and more resigned.
<@Nate> "I know this. I know this because I saw you. Didn't I?" he looks at her now, and there's something angry and almost panicked in his eyes. "Did I see you?"
<@Threnody> "--yeah. Yeah, but you didn't even..." She was too out of it with the death energy and everything else, but he'd barely seemed to notice, and that had been plain bizarre. "Nate?"
<@Nate> "I keep-- I think about it and I get headaches and I--" his voice distorts and that corona of psi-light flares around his eye, and suddenly he's not speaking to Threnody anymore. "What did you do."
<@Threnody> "/Nate/--" Okay, that's not good. Nate is one of the few people around who can fuck Threnody up, even, and she doesn't know where his mind is going now.
<@Nate> The room shakes and a few things lift off the floor - from the kitchen there's the sound of a glass falling, a pillow floats up, clothes and hair become weightless - he's /angry/, angrier than he's been in ages and-- it stops, and he gasps, light flickering out.
* @Threnody breathes out, feeling something dissipate--she was absorbing that, she thinks, with a terrible little twist in her gut, she knows his energy--and despite herself she rushes forward to him. "Come on. Come sit with me."
<@Nate> "Sorry - I didn't mean- I just-" he's obviously flustered and somewhat out of it, having done something violent in the astral plane to yank himself back down to earth.
<@Threnody> "It's okay. Sit down." She tugs at his arm to bring him over to the sofa again, intending to sit down right with him and keep an eye on him. This isn't how she expected her confession to go, but... really, she's not /shocked/.
* @Nate sits, not questioning her guidance. He's quiet for a long moment, staring at his hands. When he finally looks back at her, he says: "And I just let you go. I /left/ you."
* @Threnody is unable to deny it; she knows he was being influenced, but she wasn't aware of that before and for the longest time she'd felt like she'd been abandoned. Really, it was a series of outside influences, other people that tore them apart, not each other, and /now/ she understands. And in the now, she says, quiet: "I said some shitty things, too."
* @Nate shakes his head, exhausted and bitter. "I can't-- I can barely remember that whole time and it HURTS to think about. All this time later and she's STILL fucking up my head."
* @Threnody slips an arm around him, thinks about saying 'fuck her, then,' doesn't because of the pun and the fact that she has this incredibly fucked-up fear that he did and can't ask that. "I'm sorry."
<@Nate> "/You/ shouldn't have to be comforting /me/," he says.
<@Threnody> "Well, I am, and..." She drops her hands down to her lap instead, shrugging. "You always took care of me."
* @Nate watches her hands, and then reaches out to hold them, because he misses doing that and it feels right, at the moment. "...What happened?" A beat, then, quietly: "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
<@Threnody> "No, I, um..." She looks at their entwined hands, and then up at Nate's expression. "It was--pretty fucking obvious, actually. With my powers the way they were...the government, the way they think of mutants--why would they let me keep her? I was stupid to think I could be a mother, but she's somewhere better now, with people who are...stable, I guess."
<@Nate> "Christ." his voice is shaky - it's almost too overwhelming to stand, but he keeps it together. What if he'd been there? It's not like anyone would let HIM be a father, either. He wasn't even a citizen of that UNIVERSE. "I'm so fucking sorry."
* @Threnody tightens her grip on his hands, briefly, and doesn't say anything. She's quiet, watching Nate, once again sort of amazed by how much he's capable of caring about people. It had surprised her back in the day, too, after the life she'd led.
* @Nate has to care about people. He has no faith in god or himself or heroes, and he doesn't /have/ anything else. He squeezes her hands, quietly mourning how much he's failed her - failed /them/, and privately trying to quash the simmering rage underneath it all.
<@Threnody> "...I didn't mean for us to get this heavy," she says, sort of tentatively wry.
<@Nate> "Hey, it's okay," he says, exhaling a shaky - but stronger than before - breath. "Ignorance sucks."
<@Threnody> "So I hear. I figure after however many years of keeping all this stuff from you, maybe I should tell you the truth now. When it's...safer to." And he has been really forthcoming with her, which she does appreciate.
<@Nate> "It's not like we've been intentionally hiding from each other," he points out, giving her a lopsided, tentative smile. ... Well, he hasn't been, at least.
<@Threnody> "Fair enough." Chas had had what she terms now 'Nate Issues'; issues with comparing to this guy who had been a big part of most of her formative experiences that she, er, remembers. She's not really sorry about that, either.
* @Nate doesn't want to come stomping all over her life. If she has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend. That's not even in the realm of what he should be thinking about, anyway. If she doesn't want to even see him anymore, he'll respect it. He'd love to be around her, yes, but not if she'd be unhappy about it. "...Thank you. For telling me."
* @Threnody isn't even sure what she's doing here--she'd decided a while ago she was done with relationships, but seeing an ex and talking about the insane things in their past is a whole different story. Still--something is there for her. Maybe it's just how things are for everyone with exes, who knows. "You're welcome. Even if I wish I had good things to tell you instead."
<@Nate> "You do. You're okay. You've got a bar. Those are great."
<@Threnody> "A bar nobody goes to," she reminds him, but with a slight smile, "but that was my own fault. Spent four months in the apocalypse and business kind of died off."
<@Nate> "I don't see you dressed in a trash bag," he teases lightly.
<@Threnody> "I don't pay rent! It helps. But no, if I were broke I'd just go around in underwear, in the Nexus nobody cares." NOT WRONG. "You're right, though, I'm doing okay." And this is, momentary flipouts on either side aside, going okay, too.
<@Nate> "You... would go around in underwear even if you had designer dresses." ... Nate you're going to get hit.
* @Threnody shoves him a little, even though they're sitting together. "Designer underwear. Problem solved. I like how that's the part of that you focus on, though, Nate." She's aaaalmost laughing again, in that way she has.
<@Nate> "/You/ started it." NOT WRONG EITHER. He smiles a little, teasing gently.
<@Threnody> "Ohh," she does laugh now, "You know me, I just can't help myself."
* @Nate is, apparently, fully calmed down by now - or at least not in any danger of blowing something up. "So uh, do you want anything to eat? I can.. sort of make eggs okay."
<@Threnody> "Sort of?" She raises her eyebrows. "Sure."
<@Nate> "Well I haven't died yet." ........ "Or we could order something." >_>
<@Threnody> "Ordering would probably be easier," she speculates, smiling a little, "Where from?"
<@Nate> "...Anywhere?" ...Nexus. "Do you still like Thai?"
<@Threnody> "Yeah, I do," she says, kind of pleased he remembered, "If that's what you're feeling like."
<@Nate> "Well, I'm still a garbage disposal. And I like Thai."
<@Threnody> "You're a /guy/, of course you are. Okay, let's go with Thai, then." She doesn't bring up alcohol again, but it occurs to her--maybe it'd be better if she drank less, though. ('Maybe,' Threnody? Really?)
* @Nate does have a beer every so often, but it's a rarity and usually when he's come alone and reading, because... yes. He finds a phone book (something huge and technicolor and obviously a nexus originated thing) and... proceeds to get food, HUZZAH.
<@Threnody> "I'm probably not allowed to terrorize Nexus deliverymen," she guesses. Threnody you are not 'allowed' to terrorize deliverymen in general, not even if they end up being 15 minutes late.
<@Nate> "Sometimes they're delivery /bees/."
<@Threnody> "How--" No, actually, she's not even going to ask that! "Delivery bees. Well, damn."
<@Nate> "Yeeaaah." He laughs a bit. "So this is... pretty much my life."
<@Threnody> "Doesn't suck," she says, mild, "it seems maybe kind of..." Haha there is no good way to say this. "Lonely? In places? But that might be me projecting. Or being retarded, one or the other."
<@Nate> "It's--".... really, Nate? "Yeah, I talk to my goldfish." He runs a hand through his hair, somewhat sheepish. "I don't know, I guess when I decided I needed a break - everyone wanted something from me or wanted me to do something, or just to drain my power and kill me, whatever - I forgot to stop taking one."
* @Threnody kind of sympathizes, because she did notice (how could you not) how people thought of Nate in terms of his powers, what he could do, whereas Threnody...kind of wanted to erase that part of their lives. "I know it's simpler that way."
<@Nate> "It is. I don't know how healthy, though. At least for me." He implies a bit there that other people are safer when they're not around him, which... he has a point.
<@Threnody> "I don't think so, no." He might have a point, but she figures if he stuck to the Nexus, maybe... "So an idea I'm getting from this iiis I should drag you out more." She pauses, a touch sheepish. "If that's okay."
* @Nate smiles. "If you want to."
<@Threnody> "I do want to. I mean..." She hesitates. "I've sort of been avoiding people, too."
<@Nate> "Hey, that means we're both kicking ass today."
<@Threnody> "It does, doesn't it." Her smile is genuine, which is rarer than it should be, lately. "Elizabeth wants to 'talk,' but... fuck it. I'd rather be over here."
<@Nate> "I'd rather you be here, too." ...Because of talking about Sinister or because she's /with him/...!
<@Threnody> Ambiguity: that's clearly what they need more of. Threnody fusses with her hair. "Well. Here I am. Heels and all." SHE WILL NEVER GIVE THOSE UP, but especially because Nate is even taller now and that is just not fair.
<@Nate> "You do rock the heels better than anyone," he says, grinning.
<@Threnody> "I have to," she grins right back, "with all you tall bastards running around. Seriously, you grew how is that fair." T is 5'7" and will be forever and ever amen, which is kinda short for a Marvel girl.
<@Nate> "I guess I still had some growing up to do," he says, laughing quietly.
<@Threnody> "You know by most people's standards we're barely grown /now/," she considers that out loud, thoughtfully.
<@Nate> "We're not most people. Dunno if you noticed." Hiiii.
<@Threnody> "Oh, there's the smartassery. If I have to come over there," she threatens, as though she will do something terrible to him (this is deeply unlikely).
<@Nate> "It was hiding. With Steven." Eyebrows. "Empty threats."
<@Threnody> "Goading me is not a good idea," she sing-songs.
<@Nate> "It's never failed me before," he returns, in the same tune.
* @Threnody casually just ruffles his hair. Because she can, and it's kind of obnoxious. "We'll see about that. I'll just have to go through my repertoire of blackmail material later."
* @Nate 's hair is pretty much how it's always been - halfway decently groomed and with an inexplicable white streak in it. He's tried dying it over but it fades too fast for him to care anymore. "I think as far as blackmail goes we may be at a stalemate."
* @Threnody considers that. "Youuu missed some amazing behavior on my part in that vein, so I don't know about that."
<@Nate> "...So what you're saying is, I could.. potentially go discover things and be AHEAD of you."
<@Threnody> "What I'm saying is I no longer have anything resembling shame," she says, mock-solemn, "I have a /reputation/." Or she did, anyway, back when she was...around more. "Also: don't do that." >_>
<@Nate> "Wwhhhhyyyyyy what would I find?" :>
<@Threnody> "Well," she lies, cheerfully, "you missed my trying my hand at being a dominatrix." THRENODY.
<@Nate> "/Missed/? I think you're lying about /something/ here." NATE.
<@Threnody> "You can buy the videos on the internet." Okay now she's just being ridiculous. Also, biting her lip to avoid laughing. "Am I lying, Nate? 'Cause I sure don't remember /thaaat/..."
<@Nate> There is a joke about why buy when she's here that he's just NOT GOING TO MAKE. "Yooou are blanking out on some of your choice outfits, which /totally/ counted--"
<@Threnody> "That does /not/ fucking count, those were clothes! No one is bossed around by my clothes. Probably." She puts her hands on her hips, and doesn't realize that she feels more her /actual age/ right now, in lieu of 20 years older, than she has in months.
<@Nate> "No, I'm serious, even now, you're moonlighting--" okay he is going to GRAB HER FOOT NOW-- "This? This right here? Is a dominatrix heel."
<@Threnody> "And yet, and this is the key thing, I feel no particular compulsion--" she balances carefully, giving him a monumentally amused look, "--to walk on you. Yet."
<@Nate> "Yet. It's the yet thing."
<@Threnody> "I think you're kind of intrigued here, Nate. I think you kinda like the idea." Will they ever stop trolling each other.
<@Nate> "You know, maybe. It's just me and Steven here, and he gets all weepy.." NATE, WHY.
<@Threnody> "Okay next time I'm actually gonna pull your hair," she tells him, seriously, "also, let go of my foot, weirdo."
* @Nate lets go of her foot. And also sticks his tongue out at her real quick OH IS THAT THE DOOR, MUST BE FOOD.
* @Threnody casually follows after. Provided they are not being brought food by... uh, a bee, she's going to casually lean over Nate's shoulder, smile, slide a hand through his hair (and TUG, just a little), and say, "Okay, you pay for that, and then go back in your cage. Where's your collar, anyway?"
<@Nate> "I think I left it with your panties, sweetheart," he says without missing a beat (though he might have bit back a noise when she pulled his hair - the man hasn't been laid in over a year, have some fucking PITY), and veeeery casually pays the deliverygirl. Who is. Of course. Horrified.
* @Threnody thinks pity is for other people! She smiles at the delivery girl, like 'Men. What are you going to do?' To which the answer is, at least by the impression T wants to give, 'lock them in cages,' who knows. "They get mouthy," she says, conspiratory. RUN, DELIVERY GIRL.
<@Threnody> On the plus side that girl will have the most amazing story to tell her friends/coworkers later.
<@Nate> "It's because you never FEED ME unless I'm wearing the--oh, I think we scared her off..."
* @Threnody sinks back to lean against the wall, looking smug. "I'll pay my half. I think we made an impression!"
* @Nate is, perhaps fortunately, to momentarily entertained to be awed at how easily they fall back into these patterns. "An impression of 'oh dear god never deliver to that address again', anyway."
<@Threnody> "Alternately she will one day become Mistress Pain, and we can say we inspired her," Threnody says, /very solemn/.
<@Nate> "I shudder to think my somewhat recently pasty visage being bossed around has turned anyone to the love that shall not speak its name without a credit card," he muses, traveling to the kitchen with the food.
<@Threnody> "Nate you cannot help being a white boy," she says, deeply sympathetic, "we all have flaws. Anyway--" She wanders into the kitchen, too. "Where are your plates?"
<@Nate> "Do you know what a /scene kid/ is?" he asks, sounding disturbed. "People look at my hair and think I'm a /scene kid/. It's sickening. And~" he looks over his shoulder and a cabinet opens on its own: voila, plates.
<@Threnody> "I'm fairly certain those have started to infiltrate the Nexus," she says, with a grimace, "I don't get it, personally." Plates!
<@Nate> "I've had to work with a few that've stumbled in and just not gone home. Water, or tea?"
<@Threnody> "Uhh water's okay." She is not a big tea person, as a rule. Also, those aforementioned dominatrix boots are actually going to get kicked off by the front door so she can wander around in her stocking feet, although in part this is because she wants to see if he'll make a crack about it. "Did you give her a good tip, by the way?"
* @Nate looks over his shoulder at her, a faintly incredulous look on his face. "Grabbing me like that, I have no fucking idea if I gave her a hundred dollars or two."
<@Threnody> "I'll keep it in mind as a distractionary tactic," she says, shameless, sidling back into the kitchen.
* @Nate fills up some water glasses and sends them off to the coffee table in the living room, and then divvies up food. "You're still endless trouble, you know that." Not without affection.
<@Threnody> "You keep saying that and you keep liking it all at the same time," she muses out loud, leaning against a counter and watching him, "some people would find that confusing!" Not her, though. There are plenty of other things about this to find confusing!
<@Nate> "You said it, though. I've always liked trouble." Good for him or not. He hands her a plate.
<@Threnody> "Certain flavors aren't all bad," she claims, "thanks." And now she's going to go where the glasses of water are and set her plate down to eat.
* @Nate waits in the kitchen a moment - getting his head together. You know, like, oh my god stop hitting on your ex! Your ex... full of baggage that is KIND OF YOURS, TOO. He plunks down on the sofa when he does join her, shortly.
* @Threnody has DELICIOUS THAI, brought to them by a now-traumatized deliverygirl. "Well, I have to say, I'm a little sad I probably got you blacklisted, this is pretty good."
<@Nate> "Let's just hope I did tip her a hundred, then."
<@Threnody> "If you did I hope that made up for it, 'cause if not I really just should've done something worse to you." She smiles at him, and then goes back to her meal. Threnody still thinks like a street kid, $100 would be a lot to her! Although currency in the Nexus gets really skewed.
* @Nate has been functioning primarily in the Nexus for possibly too long - money is hopelessly lost on him at this point. "Promises, promises..."
<@Threnody> "Nooo, that was threatening. They're very similar!" Stop bantering long enough to eat, guys.
<@Nate> Hey, Nate is already stuffing his face. He wasn't lying about being a garbage disposal. "I'm a hard guy to threaten."
<@Threnody> "Well, I'm creative, which you know."
<@Nate> "This.. I know quite well."
<@Threnody> "Better than most people." Although some have been 'lucky' enough to see how creative she can be when she's /actually/ annoyed, see: during the Winnipeg apocalypse. "Man, I think this is the first actual meal I've had in like...two months." Because she subsists off, like, booze and whatever's in the bar, yes. A+ taking care of yourself, T.
<@Nate> ".../Should/ you be wearing trash bags?" Some concern there.
<@Threnody> "No, I'm just never home enough to cook," she shrugs. Also: Chas used to take care of it, that was partly at fault in the beginning. "I'm exaggerating, it's not that bad." Not by much, but. "All the Thai places in Philadelphia are terrible."
<@Nate> "Mmm..." he's halfway through his food. Nom. "Do you like it there?"
<@Threnody> "Well, it ain't Greece, but it's not bad. Cities are cities, you know? Kinda the same anywhere, in terms of anonymity."
* @Nate ... does not know how to feel about remembering Greece. Nostalgic, yes, but ... anyway. "That's true, I guess."
<@Threnody> "I'll probably move soon. The building is completely fucking awkward now, aaand...there's plenty of things I haven't seen." She thinks that's an okay way to look at it.
<@Nate> "There's a beach on an Earth I visted once that has rainbow waterfalls. It's kind of like Care Bears vomitted everywhere." ... you know, because of the topic of seeing things.
<@Threnody> "I'm probably not gonna put that on my to see list, then," she says, after a moment of silence, "Also, what the fuck."
* @Nate shrugs, trying not to laugh.
<@Threnody> "How many Earths have you even been to at this point?" She sets her silverware down, glancing over at Nate.
<@Nate> "Ah... maybe a hundred... I... stay away from our spiral, though." He looks away at that, almost uncomfortable.
<@Threnody> "You should come see Philly where I'm at sometime, if you feel like it." She knows that leaving the Nexus is somewhat risky, but she doesn't live anywhere near a universe like the one she was born in. "It's pretty normal there. Like, weird-normal--no Avengers, nothing like that."
<@Nate> "...I like those places. Better, anyway."
<@Threnody> "Me too. Life without Tony Stark: pretty damn good." Yeees she has her political opinions, so what.
* @Nate makes a thoughtful, dismissive noise at that, like... yes, I've heard of that, no, I haven't fucked with an alt, why do you ask >___>
* @Threnody ...tips her head to one side. "Naaate."
* @Nate coughs.
<@Threnody> "You are shifty," she says, accusingly.
<@Nate> "I am a man of few morals and fewer hobbies." .....Nate that is not helping you.
<@Threnody> "...Nate what did you do." She is betting it's going to make her laugh.
<@Nate> "Well.. social worker.. domestic disputes.. he used to drink a lot.." >___> "At least one world on the spiral has someone else as head of SHIELD."
<@Threnody> "That is fucking /sneaky/," Threnody tells him, approvingly.
* @Nate shrugs. "I don't want to get involved with anything back there again, but seriously, what the fuck. He should know better."
<@Threnody> "S'why I left, all of that bullshit." She stretches her legs, leaning back against the back of the sofa. "And I am never going back."
<@Nate> "I hear that." Three years, no desire to return.
<@Threnody> "I was keeping an eye on this kid from our universe. Kevin. Ginger calls him Bus Stop 'cause he was living in one." Having finished her dinner, she just extends her hands, staring at them, imagining if she had Kevin's ability. "He kills everything he touches, that's his mutation."
<@Nate> "Like Rogue?" Nate shutters away a little at that. Sometimes he's (perhaps rightfully) guilty about being engineered to be 'perfect'.
<@Threnody> "Not...exactly. It just decays. Instantly. He's careful with it, though--so he doesn't get addicted." Like she did. Nate offered to help her, then, didn't he? And she would've gone, but...Maddie. "But you'n him are basically all I've seen from our--spiral? Oh, except Gambit, for about five seconds. You know, the Cajun?"
* @Threnody never stops referring to Remy that way ever.
* @Nate nods - he knows /of/ Gambit, anyway. Another outcast. Less annoying than some, in that way at least. "How's he doing? Kevin."
<@Threnody> "He's okay. He ran off and got temporarily kidnapped during the fucking apocalypse thing--he wanted to prove himself, I guess. Teenagers." She says, being a whole, like, three or four years out of her teens.
<@Nate> "Yes, damn those teenagers being kidnapped and shit." ... <@Threnody> "Voice of experience, yeah." She nudges him with her leg, amused. "I would say I didn't get abducted that much but I would actually be lying."
<@Nate> "Yeah, you kinda would," he teases, nudging her knee back with his.
<@Threnody> "I have to keep an eye on you, now, you'll ruin my rep as a badass with all those stories you got." Nudge-back. This appears to be a war. Stop that, T. "Fortunately I think I have pictures of you back in the day." This is a lie, but imagine if that were true.
<@Nate> "While I was doing what? Punching people?"
<@Threnody> "Those were generally not photographable times. Although I do wish I had a picture of you as Quentin Tarentino." That was one of the good-weird days.
<@Nate> "Do you still have your orange pants?" :D
<@Threnody> "It was a shirt the pants were green /shut up/--" Now she's going to swipe at him a little, playful. "I can't believe I got away with wearing that thing in public." NEITHER CAN HER TYPIST, FTR.
<@Nate> "Oh, well. Something was orange." Maybe he was just staring at her ass the whole time! NO ONE CAN BELIEVE THE 90S, MARVEL.
<@Threnody> "That's what happens when they kick you out of the good stores." Probably for stealing, knowing Threnody back in the day. "People were very scandalized at my Halloween costume and I wanted to tell them about what some of the Avengers wear /every/ damn day."
* @Nate is... not going to talk about the red getup he had for a while there. Because HIS TYPIST REJECTS ITS EXISTENCE. ".../Capes/."
<@Threnody> "Capes with lingerie. A schoolgirl uniform for one night was comparatively like, the tamest thing out there. I'm pretty sure there's a dude now whose entire costume is covered in spikes, which strikes me as sort of impractical." Sup Penance what's wrong with you.
<@Nate> "Schoolgirl, huh." Nate... stop. "Yeah, I don't know. I still have some of the leather, but I haven't bothered with wearing it."
<@Threnody> "I even had a tie," she confirms, lightly, "Why do you keep it, then?"
* @Nate shrugs. "My past is a part of me. You know. Making peace."
<@Threnody> "It makes sense," she agrees, cautiously, but it gets her thinking again (as she does ever so often) about how she has no idea where she comes from, really. "What happens after you manage that, anyway? Making peace. Does everything just kinda plateau?"
<@Nate> "I don't know yet." he looks at her, elbows on his knees. "I'll tell you when I get there."
<@Threnody> "All right. Send me a postcard." She tips her head back, watching him looking at her.
* @Nate seems like he might move - toward her - "I will." - but then stands and picks up their plates to take back to the kitchen.
* @Threnody glances after him and then up at the ceiling. Whaaat are they doing. Specifically: what is /she/ doing? How is it possible to be comfortable with someone and disconcerted by that level of comfort simultaneously?
* @Nate is wondering THE SAME THING, shock!!! He takes a moment in the safety of the kitchen to facepalm and do a mental keyboard mash at the entire situation. He thought he could handle this and be fine but there's - something - between them still, something almost tangible. He fills up his water glass again.
<@Threnody> It is probably worth considering that the something between them is that they are dumb in the exact same way, which is to say they do a very good job of appearing not-dumb when with other people and then when you put them in a room alone together there's all sorts of flailing and stammering and tension. Threnody should probably think a little more before doing these things but instead she's going to sprawl on his sofa like she owns it, head on the armrest.
<@Nate> Whatever they've grown into, they haven't grown out of whatever had drawn them together, it seems. Nate pauses in the doorway, just looking at her - and when he rejoins her in the living room he sits down on the floor near her head, reaching out with one hand to smooth back her hair, silent.
<@Threnody> She did not expect him to do that, but it's...familiar, and she likes it. The nearness, and the way he still knows her. "It seems later than it is," she observes, absently.
* @Nate lays his head down on the edge of the sofa, not touching her further, just resting there next to her. "It's because we're apart, here."
<@Threnody> "Maybe I like being apart." It doesn't suck when you're not by yourself.
<@Nate> "Do you want to stay here for a while?" he asks quietly. He doesn't mean anything by it - she can probably tell. But for some reason, just taking a nap with the sun outside and nothing at all in the universe happening sounds ... pretty nice.
* @Threnody thinks about it for a few seconds--she knows he's not implying anything, but frankly the longer they're around each other like this the more intensified certain things are going to get. But they're adults, and it's safe here--in the ways that she needs. "If you don't mind having me around, I'd like that, yeah."
<@Nate> This is okay. Just staying like this - stablizing contact and maybe some duct tape for their mouths because they keep Saying Things. He strokes her hair again, almost comforting. "You're always welcome wherever I am."
<@Threnody> Sometimes it seems like they haven't been apart all that long. (Other times she's abruptly reminded of the space between then and now.) "We should probably ask Steven's permission. For politeness's sake."
* @Nate shifts his head to stare at the goldfish, who is... swimming. Pause. Silence. "...He's doing that thing where he imagines he's a petunia again."
<@Threnody> "Are you letting your fish read Douglas Adams? That can't end well."