Seven Murders and One Salvation
Title: Seven Murders and One Salvation.
Of Poor Jealous Insecurity
Pairing: (This chapter) JunxRyo and JunMa theme overall
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Plot and names mentioned are not mine.
Summary: The path to finding love is full of thorns. Thorns that sting. Thorns that shed blood. Thorns that kill. And amidst the stinging pain, it's there, what you are looking for.
Note: Don't ask about the summary.
Of all the relationships Jun had been in Ryo had been Toma’s least favourite. But that maybe because by the time the second and third jerk rolled on into Jun’s life Toma had been used to it.
Ryo was a respectable man. He was slightly handicapped on the left foot with a visible limp. But there was a noble story behind that limp and on the outside he displayed it with pride. He got it saving a girl from a fire.
Ryo was a firefighter; those loveable, big, strong men that help people. The first thing a little off about Ryo being a firefighter was that he wasn’t big, not at all. But as they say size doesn’t matter and when Jun’s kitchen caught fire because Taichi dozed off boiling water while Nagase was chasing after Toma with a stick ready in hand to beat the daylights out of him, Ryo rolled in with his limp and fire hose and put it out.
Jun was immediately smitten and Ryo took his hat off with a little bow and wiped the sweat off his forehead. Jun offered a drink. Ryo made a face at the destroyed kitchen and they looked at each other for a moment before bursting out into laughter.
They decided to go out.
To Toma it seemed they decided to go out every night after that one disastrous night. Little did Toma realize that the real problem would begin when they decided to stay in.
Taichi looked at him and pet his head lovingly as he stared wide-eyed at the two playing footsie under the table. Taichi was big and Nagase was bigger. They were like mother and father to him. Nagase the mother definitely but Taichi could tell Toma hurt when he saw Jun take Ryo’s arm as soon as he would arrive to the house. Maybe Nagase could tell and didn’t care, Toma was only thirteen after all, not like he understood anymore about love than Nagase himself did. But Taichi could tell. Toma couldn’t himself but Taichi could.
But even Taichi couldn’t tell the change in Ryo until it was too late. By then even Nagase could tell the trustworthy and selfless firefighter was different and maybe not so selfless. A feeling of a more darker nature manifested itself in Ryo and he was prey to that as he grew to resent his situation The first time Ryo slapped Jun’s hand away when Jun offered it as a means of help up the stairs everyone ignored it as just a bad day. Toma did so with a burning passion to hit Ryo back. The sixth time when the rejection was made with a shove there was a mild suspicion, shrugged off nonchalantly as Jun quickly composed himself and followed Ryo upstairs.
Of course after that Jun stopped offering. Ryo would limp and Jun would walk slower than normal and not take his hand, not even out of a loving contact. So when limping frustrated Ryo was offered to retire for his lessening usefulness with full honors of a lifetime served.
It seemed that the other firefighters thought that this unhappiness was an honour and that the medal for bravery, the symbol of Ryo’s handicap, had become as reason to celebrate.
A reason to have a party
To which he had to bring a date.
A very bright, young and spirited date.
And that was when it happened. When Jun danced with another firefighter Kamenashi, both light on their feet and mesmerizingly graceful and exuding a feisty, playful aura while Ryo, poor limping Ryo staggered from the bar to his seat.
Full glass and empty glass.
A loosening of senses.
A growing jealousy.
A spread of darkeness
That was when it hit Ryo like a ton of bricks that while he was handicapped aJun was not. That was when he realized, the liberty of a fully functioning body that Jun had and he had not. And that was when he felt it, something other than love for Jun, a hatred so powerful that it was hard to distinguish from love.
The first time Ryo actually hit Jun, Nagase was out on an errand and Taichi looked on. Toma watched as Taichi calmly saw their beloved Jun being punched right on the face and the stung hurt expression that followed. Taichi had the most sorrowful look that Toma’s ever seen the slightly insane housekeeper wear but Taichi didn’t move. Nagase would have but Taichi didn’t.
Jun just looked on, shocked at Ryo for a moment.
“You can, you know.” Ryo spat.
“What?” Jun asked quietly still rubbing his cheek. If Jun didn’t hit back, there was a reason.
“Break up with the pathetic handicap, tying you down.”
Jun’s eyes widened but before he could explain or question the statement Ryo already grabbed his collar. Nagase chose that moment to burst in and pushed Ryo away from Jun, he almost spun around with the force of the shove.
Jun stepped in front of Nagase before he could start a brawl, “I’ll take care of this.” He replied quietly and there was a moment of silence. A silence were Toma’s heart beat so rapidly it was about to burst. He held his breath.
And curiously enough Jun kneeled down to where Ryo had fallen and kissed him. Toma couldn’t understand, Nagase was furious and Taichi shook his head sadly as though he had seen this coming.
But insecurity is insecurity. No amount of assurances, kisses or lovemaking could appease Ryo’s frustration with his own leg. Toma always wondered how Jun tolerated it. It wasn’t that Ryo was particularly very violent but he had become cynical and mocking, like a failed old man. Being around him was tiresome and more often than not Jun would be the victim of his need to humiliate, more often than not publicly.
Ryo would drink excessively too and lose sense or proportion. Jun seemed to age years with everyday that passed with Ryo but he never retaliated, never humiliated back. Always calm and accepting.
A disconcerting calmness.
Because in reality there was a frustration growing in Jun as well. And on one night when Ryo was dead drunk, barely being able to stand straight he ended up on the terrace and jumping from four stories high. Of course that night Jun had been in his room with Taichi and had no idea what Ryo was upto in the terrace, no evidence to place him anywhere but his room with Taichi and so the poor broken Ryo lay on the ground, losing blood quick while Jun slept a peaceful night’s sleep as Taichi accompanied him and Nagase was out for a night in town with Toma.
At least that’s how the police know it.
And yet Toma knows better. For Jun was as much in his room sleeping as Toma was out in town for the night. Toma wasn’t allowed to leave the house on a school night.
It was Wednesday.
So knowing what he knew Toma couldn’t possibly have been in love with Jun.
And yet Toma distinctly remembers so very clearly how Jun wasn’t in love with him.
And Taichi knew how much it had hurt.
A/N: So?
Of Poor Jealous Insecurity
Pairing: (This chapter) JunxRyo and JunMa theme overall
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Plot and names mentioned are not mine.
Summary: The path to finding love is full of thorns. Thorns that sting. Thorns that shed blood. Thorns that kill. And amidst the stinging pain, it's there, what you are looking for.
Note: Don't ask about the summary.
Of all the relationships Jun had been in Ryo had been Toma’s least favourite. But that maybe because by the time the second and third jerk rolled on into Jun’s life Toma had been used to it.
Ryo was a respectable man. He was slightly handicapped on the left foot with a visible limp. But there was a noble story behind that limp and on the outside he displayed it with pride. He got it saving a girl from a fire.
Ryo was a firefighter; those loveable, big, strong men that help people. The first thing a little off about Ryo being a firefighter was that he wasn’t big, not at all. But as they say size doesn’t matter and when Jun’s kitchen caught fire because Taichi dozed off boiling water while Nagase was chasing after Toma with a stick ready in hand to beat the daylights out of him, Ryo rolled in with his limp and fire hose and put it out.
Jun was immediately smitten and Ryo took his hat off with a little bow and wiped the sweat off his forehead. Jun offered a drink. Ryo made a face at the destroyed kitchen and they looked at each other for a moment before bursting out into laughter.
They decided to go out.
To Toma it seemed they decided to go out every night after that one disastrous night. Little did Toma realize that the real problem would begin when they decided to stay in.
Taichi looked at him and pet his head lovingly as he stared wide-eyed at the two playing footsie under the table. Taichi was big and Nagase was bigger. They were like mother and father to him. Nagase the mother definitely but Taichi could tell Toma hurt when he saw Jun take Ryo’s arm as soon as he would arrive to the house. Maybe Nagase could tell and didn’t care, Toma was only thirteen after all, not like he understood anymore about love than Nagase himself did. But Taichi could tell. Toma couldn’t himself but Taichi could.
But even Taichi couldn’t tell the change in Ryo until it was too late. By then even Nagase could tell the trustworthy and selfless firefighter was different and maybe not so selfless. A feeling of a more darker nature manifested itself in Ryo and he was prey to that as he grew to resent his situation The first time Ryo slapped Jun’s hand away when Jun offered it as a means of help up the stairs everyone ignored it as just a bad day. Toma did so with a burning passion to hit Ryo back. The sixth time when the rejection was made with a shove there was a mild suspicion, shrugged off nonchalantly as Jun quickly composed himself and followed Ryo upstairs.
Of course after that Jun stopped offering. Ryo would limp and Jun would walk slower than normal and not take his hand, not even out of a loving contact. So when limping frustrated Ryo was offered to retire for his lessening usefulness with full honors of a lifetime served.
It seemed that the other firefighters thought that this unhappiness was an honour and that the medal for bravery, the symbol of Ryo’s handicap, had become as reason to celebrate.
A reason to have a party
To which he had to bring a date.
A very bright, young and spirited date.
And that was when it happened. When Jun danced with another firefighter Kamenashi, both light on their feet and mesmerizingly graceful and exuding a feisty, playful aura while Ryo, poor limping Ryo staggered from the bar to his seat.
Full glass and empty glass.
A loosening of senses.
A growing jealousy.
A spread of darkeness
That was when it hit Ryo like a ton of bricks that while he was handicapped aJun was not. That was when he realized, the liberty of a fully functioning body that Jun had and he had not. And that was when he felt it, something other than love for Jun, a hatred so powerful that it was hard to distinguish from love.
The first time Ryo actually hit Jun, Nagase was out on an errand and Taichi looked on. Toma watched as Taichi calmly saw their beloved Jun being punched right on the face and the stung hurt expression that followed. Taichi had the most sorrowful look that Toma’s ever seen the slightly insane housekeeper wear but Taichi didn’t move. Nagase would have but Taichi didn’t.
Jun just looked on, shocked at Ryo for a moment.
“You can, you know.” Ryo spat.
“What?” Jun asked quietly still rubbing his cheek. If Jun didn’t hit back, there was a reason.
“Break up with the pathetic handicap, tying you down.”
Jun’s eyes widened but before he could explain or question the statement Ryo already grabbed his collar. Nagase chose that moment to burst in and pushed Ryo away from Jun, he almost spun around with the force of the shove.
Jun stepped in front of Nagase before he could start a brawl, “I’ll take care of this.” He replied quietly and there was a moment of silence. A silence were Toma’s heart beat so rapidly it was about to burst. He held his breath.
And curiously enough Jun kneeled down to where Ryo had fallen and kissed him. Toma couldn’t understand, Nagase was furious and Taichi shook his head sadly as though he had seen this coming.
But insecurity is insecurity. No amount of assurances, kisses or lovemaking could appease Ryo’s frustration with his own leg. Toma always wondered how Jun tolerated it. It wasn’t that Ryo was particularly very violent but he had become cynical and mocking, like a failed old man. Being around him was tiresome and more often than not Jun would be the victim of his need to humiliate, more often than not publicly.
Ryo would drink excessively too and lose sense or proportion. Jun seemed to age years with everyday that passed with Ryo but he never retaliated, never humiliated back. Always calm and accepting.
A disconcerting calmness.
Because in reality there was a frustration growing in Jun as well. And on one night when Ryo was dead drunk, barely being able to stand straight he ended up on the terrace and jumping from four stories high. Of course that night Jun had been in his room with Taichi and had no idea what Ryo was upto in the terrace, no evidence to place him anywhere but his room with Taichi and so the poor broken Ryo lay on the ground, losing blood quick while Jun slept a peaceful night’s sleep as Taichi accompanied him and Nagase was out for a night in town with Toma.
At least that’s how the police know it.
And yet Toma knows better. For Jun was as much in his room sleeping as Toma was out in town for the night. Toma wasn’t allowed to leave the house on a school night.
It was Wednesday.
So knowing what he knew Toma couldn’t possibly have been in love with Jun.
And yet Toma distinctly remembers so very clearly how Jun wasn’t in love with him.
And Taichi knew how much it had hurt.
A/N: So?