Sometime's It's Better To Ask
Title: Sometimes It’s Better To Ask
Pairing/Group: Sakumoto (Sakurai Sho/ Matsumoto Jun)
Rating: R
Warnings: Possible OOC-ness on Sho’s part.
Notes: Written for astrangerenters for this year's je_holiday. The other fic that I remember you wanted to read will be released sometime in the ear future ^_^. Sorry I fail T_T
And thank umitsubame for your counseling on this one!
Summary: Strangers…they spell trouble.
Things have been tense. Like a lot. For the love of all that is unholy in his life everything is in a mess. They are here in this small town to crack a particularly difficult drug deal. Difficult because this guy is fucking greedy but his resources are running low and he needs this. His subordinates need this. It was all a fight for power in the end. No matter how many fights or disagreements or sleepless nights this causes he needs this one up to cover of all the times he’s fucked up before.
Not that he has fucked up too many times…Just once…and that is just one time too many anyway.
Today wasn’t good. They’ve been ambushed by the rival group; it wasn’t easy procuring new territory. But he needs this, and everytime he’s chanting it to himself it becomes a dream of the impossible, panic overcomes him and the fear of failing is too much.
But fear doesn’t stop hunger even though he’s duped himself into believing it does. Right now his stomach is rumbling and there’s one diner open. Virtually deserted; which is better. A club would be more, familiar, friendly and fun but he doesn’t like the distractions alcohol seems to bring with it.
Rice and curry is enough before he can panic in peace again. Despite the late hour there are a few people. Late workers, drunken men, night crawlers and an epitome of abnormality, to which Jun presumed he contributed.
However there is one person, sorted out, pleasant and normal just really intriguing because of that one fact. He’s working by the looks of it and by the looks of it…incredibly handsome too. Jun wants to see more of him and his peaceful smile and his worriless face and feel the ease that his presence emitted.
He took a seat right at a table opposite the young man so that they were in clear vision of each other. The way Jun was staring mesmerized, it was a wonder the other did not feel it. But the other had. If him looking up and fixing Jun the most pleasant smile Jun had seen in his entire fucking life was anything to go by. Jun remembered smiling like that when his Okaa-san used to give him chocolates back when he was like five years old.
There was something very alluring about him which is why Jun got up after him, half finished curry bowl and tip 20% too much for a self service diner. But he was leaving, the fact that he was busy tucking his bag under his arm while he opened an umbrella, gave Jun time to even take out his wallet and throw the bills onto the table before he’s scrambling out behind him.
It’s as though the man understands that the reason why he’s soaking helplessly in the merciless rain is because of him and it’s as though that beautiful smile is a reward for it. Damn Jun’s five years too old and hands bloody with ten imprints too many to be having such mushy thoughts and goo-ey, sickly sweet feelings.
But then the rain stopped pelting on him and he feels warmth through the brush of shoulders as the other holds the umbrella over his head and he couldn’t help but smile back.
He was classy, well dressed and by the size of his bag, hardworking, nice and friendly which is why Jun really cannot understand how he’s ended up pressed underneath him in this sleazy love hotel. But he is and the fact that he is actually underneath a guy who smiles like a frigging five year old is surprising in itself. But coherency is a luxury when he pushes inside and Jun’s just a mush of goo and sweetness and butterflies rule his stomach and fire his veins. It’s all too much and yet when the other’s nipping along his back it’s really not enough at all. His cock is neglected with nothing more than the friction from the sheets and he’s facing white and clutching white desperate for more. That’s when it really hits how much more he can get, how much more he can offer and worst of all how much he wants all of it, wants it until more is no more.
But it’s just wham, bam, thank you maa’m Jun realizes when the next day he’s alone and there’s no note, no signs of the other’s presence other than the remnants of a warmth that Jun wants again, solid and real and oppressing like it was a few hours back.
That day his work is slightly better. He’s finally got dibs on a man from the Midori clan. Once the first crack is made, the rest of the wall would follow. Now he’s so much more confident, hopeful and relaxed. But he’s also gone stupid since he’s back at the diner, same time, same seat, and same person opposite him, just slightly better clothes on his part.
The other man finishes dinner first and Jun thinks that it takes too long to lick the spoon clean or maybe he just notices the way his tongue is so adorably pink as it laps up remnants of curry from the metal contours of the lucky utensil.
Jun follows him again when he’s going out and this time he could swear he was waiting. There was no rain, no muddy puddles, just wide, open street and no other explanation as to why the other is standing outside with his hands stuffed in his pockets scuffing at the ground. Jun mirrors him and this time they just fall in step with each other as they walk towards the hotel.
This time he’s facing the other, tracing the curves of his face as the other coaxes his legs apart and over his shoulders. Jun hisses at the slight burn, but soon he’s too lost to even feel it. There’s rhythm in the way they rock against each other, heat in the way their tongues slide over each other and magic in the way they mould together, perfect and flawless even if he does say so himself.
He claws at the other’s back, pulls his hair as he adores his collarbones and Jun’s gasping, struggling, moaning for a name, not just any name but his name which to his dilemma he doesn’t know. He’s desperate and it muddles his brain, his name its as though its at the tip of his tongue like those things you know but cannot remember at the moment, as though every gasp somehow held the syllables of calling out to the other, but it was impossible because Jun’s never known his name.
Suddenly their eyes meet, laced with lust and pleasure and his with a panic of sorts that spreads to the other’s face as he slows down their pace and Jun’s shaking his head, moaning ‘faster?’ and he leaves it like a question and the other understands, gasps out a ‘Sho’ before burying his face into his chest and resuming the previous pace. It’s an introduction worth reminiscing to your grandchildren (when they’re old enough) and Jun has barely said his own name before all he can gasp out is Sho, Sho! ...Sho
It’s the hardest he’s come in weeks or maybe the months and he’s struggling to regain breath, feeling. But it’s not enough to make him forget his regrets from their previous encounter and he pulls the other close, kissing him softly and calling out to him. Sho wriggles closer, their limbs entangling and he calls back and Jun has to wonder how something as plain, simple and common as the monosyllable of his name can sound so beautiful.
He’s becoming more confident as his doses of Sho increases. He’s actually met up with the guy from the Midori clan, a short scruffy character with a hunched back and shifty eyes, not one that Jun would trust but the chance of an appointment with the clan leader is looking up.
He vents out his frustration whenever it builds because he can, because there is Sho and his calm is intimidating and that’s all good because being feared means being respected and respect amounts to a flow of work that’s kind of really amazing and satisfactory.
They meet up every other night unless the other has a night shift until finally the woman at the counter suggests renting a room for a month since it’s cheaper. A month is long; it almost amounts to a commitment. But he still revels in the tint of Sho’s cheeks as he thanks the lady for the tip and actually takes her suggestion.
The sleazy love hotel is no longer a sleazy love hotel but home Jun realizes with a groan. Even though Jun earns enough to afford a luxury apartment but be it subconsciously this was their haven and he likes it. Every broken, rickety corner reminds him of Sho, the torn curtains, the scratchy cotton of the bed sheet, the run down bed, the half rotten bedside table whose drawers contain the lube and whose countertop holds the bottle of water and the strip of painkiller that Sho always kept for him until he didn’t need it anymore, the shade less lamp, the dusty chair beside it (which could for some reason take the weight of two people they had pleasantly found out one night), the dirty walls and the cramped shower, there all just pieces that leads to that one person.
It was indeed a wonder when everything led to this. He couldn’t put his finger on the day that brought about their time together that was now spent doing more talking and cuddling rather than fucking. But that must be why he’s kind of living here, breathing in the scent of the sheets whenever Sho’s on his night shifts. He’s been curious as to what Sho does but he doesn’t pry because a “What do you do for a living?” that he throws at Sho will definitely be mirrored back to him. Jun is neither ready to lie nor tell the truth.
The bubble of comfort and love in this room, in Sho’s arm was one that he wanted to protect. And that’s what’s started to scare him. Love was a weakness in his world. It was badly exploited by enemies and he understands now why all those people he’s threatened over the years preferred to do the shittiest of things like giving up all their assets in exchange for their loved ones. A life without Sho would be meaningless, now. Fuck.
So he’s stopped meeting him at the diner; wanting to conceal Sho, wanting to keep him safe. Sho isn’t inquisitive. He just nods when Jun says they’ll head directly over to the hotel from then on.
Until one day Sho asks him to go out on a date.
“Ano…Tomorrow is kind of a very special day so wanna go out somewhere?”
Jun grins. It doesn’t matter anymore because tomorrow he’s finally got that meeting with the boss of the Midori clan and if he’s meeting he’s definitely interested, Jun just needs to play the cards right to finalize it and he is quite the master at playing cards.
“You know tomorrow is a very important day for me too. Guess we should go out.”
Sho beams and Jun caresses his face, pushing the stray strands away from his innocent face before leaning in for a kiss. The innocence…it bothers him, it tugs at his heart and that’s made him worrisome.
Jun’s sitting down with a firm yet polite expression, his hands lay poignantly clasped onto his lap and he lets slip a rare smile as the Midori head is signing their contract.
Suddenly there is panic and shouts from outside and the pen clatters to the ground, the boss is nowhere to be seen and some are busy picking up however many suitcases of heroin that was possible.
Jun knew what things like this meant…the police and he wasn’t afraid only he was in an unfamiliar place, escape routes unknown and people pushing him back instead of leading him to safety. By the time he located he exit route the police had already surrounded them.
Shouts and pointed guns and a shot at a person that dared to stray away. He looks around and sees that mostly his men are surrounded and the Midori group has almost all fled.
His hands are inside his pocket and the officer in front is pointing his gun, telling him to raise his hands above his head; voice coarse and hysteric. Jun does so, slowly brings his hands out of his pocket, allowing the strands of his hair to cover his face so that his calm expression does not give him away.
A matter of seconds before his gun is out and he’s pointing at the officer’s head, his cap fluttering to the floor. But his hands stop on the trigger… Sho. He sees a flicker of shock and recognition on the other’s eyes as there is hesitation across his. And that cost him. Another had lunged at him from the side and knocked his gun out of his hands as he handcuffs him.
“You alright Sakurai?”
And Sho shakes his head as though coming out of a reverie before nodding in reassurance. Sho spares him a glance before he’s rushing off to give orders and calling the station to report mission successful.
Jun was brought out for interrogation. The police did not lose time by the usual across table questioning. He was yakuza, they knew, he was trained to withstand mental pressure. His shirt was torn off before his hands were bound behind his back and he was tied to a chair. He wasn’t too surprised when Sho quietly walked in followed by two men with whips.
“Who are you working for?” Sho asks him half heartedly but Jun is as determined as ever. The question is not asked again before the whips make contact with the bare skin of his back, cold and biting. He hisses but there’s been worse When it stops he catches the tips of the whip adorned with blood from the corner of his eyes before Sho’s speaking again,
“Listen we found a suitcase of heroin. That’s enough for conviction but if you help us the punishment would be less severe.” Sho is almost pleading but Jun is relentless as he stares straight back at him.
There is a quiet whisper of, ‘Water’ before he finds himself dunked into it. He’s completely unprepared and takes in a mouthful and he is spluttering because some of it goes down his throat and everytime he opens his mouth to cough more water just gets in and its choking him, slowly he’s having difficulty to breath and his nostrils burn with having inhaled in the water and he wonders if this is the end for him when suddenly he’s pulled back out by his hair gasping, coughing and fighting for breath while looking straight up at Sho whose chanced a soft caress across his cheek, “Please tell us…please”
Sho’s begging and he knows why he is. He feels like it too because Sho has seen him bleed before, Sho has seen him wet before but he’s never seen Sho this sad before, his eyes are dead but pleading and his lips are quivering, his touch ever so tender that Jun wants to concede, wants to apologize and kiss and make up. But he has pride and an ego as big as his bling collection that doesn’t allow him to do so.
He felt a sharp tug at his hair and the subsequent forward push that would reel him towards the water again but there was a sharp, “Stop!”
Sho’s looking on the verge of falling apart as he almost screams out, “Just send him to central! Here he won’t talk.” And he’s dashed out of the room. Jun’s hauled up and thrown into the back of a car bound and gagged which he presumes would take him to Central.
Sho visits the café they decided their date to be in and he’s cursing because he’s two hours late. Damn work! He orders two cups of coffee and waits for Jun to come. He sips his coffee patiently and curses Jun for being irresponsible and so damn fucking late. But he knows that the curses he’s furiously letting out are just a way to stave off the thought of why Jun really wasn’t coming.
It worked for the first few minutes but soon the curses turned salty as had his coffee as the tears flowed out to accompany him.
Pairing/Group: Sakumoto (Sakurai Sho/ Matsumoto Jun)
Rating: R
Warnings: Possible OOC-ness on Sho’s part.
Notes: Written for astrangerenters for this year's je_holiday. The other fic that I remember you wanted to read will be released sometime in the ear future ^_^. Sorry I fail T_T
And thank umitsubame for your counseling on this one!
Summary: Strangers…they spell trouble.
Things have been tense. Like a lot. For the love of all that is unholy in his life everything is in a mess. They are here in this small town to crack a particularly difficult drug deal. Difficult because this guy is fucking greedy but his resources are running low and he needs this. His subordinates need this. It was all a fight for power in the end. No matter how many fights or disagreements or sleepless nights this causes he needs this one up to cover of all the times he’s fucked up before.
Not that he has fucked up too many times…Just once…and that is just one time too many anyway.
Today wasn’t good. They’ve been ambushed by the rival group; it wasn’t easy procuring new territory. But he needs this, and everytime he’s chanting it to himself it becomes a dream of the impossible, panic overcomes him and the fear of failing is too much.
But fear doesn’t stop hunger even though he’s duped himself into believing it does. Right now his stomach is rumbling and there’s one diner open. Virtually deserted; which is better. A club would be more, familiar, friendly and fun but he doesn’t like the distractions alcohol seems to bring with it.
Rice and curry is enough before he can panic in peace again. Despite the late hour there are a few people. Late workers, drunken men, night crawlers and an epitome of abnormality, to which Jun presumed he contributed.
However there is one person, sorted out, pleasant and normal just really intriguing because of that one fact. He’s working by the looks of it and by the looks of it…incredibly handsome too. Jun wants to see more of him and his peaceful smile and his worriless face and feel the ease that his presence emitted.
He took a seat right at a table opposite the young man so that they were in clear vision of each other. The way Jun was staring mesmerized, it was a wonder the other did not feel it. But the other had. If him looking up and fixing Jun the most pleasant smile Jun had seen in his entire fucking life was anything to go by. Jun remembered smiling like that when his Okaa-san used to give him chocolates back when he was like five years old.
There was something very alluring about him which is why Jun got up after him, half finished curry bowl and tip 20% too much for a self service diner. But he was leaving, the fact that he was busy tucking his bag under his arm while he opened an umbrella, gave Jun time to even take out his wallet and throw the bills onto the table before he’s scrambling out behind him.
It’s as though the man understands that the reason why he’s soaking helplessly in the merciless rain is because of him and it’s as though that beautiful smile is a reward for it. Damn Jun’s five years too old and hands bloody with ten imprints too many to be having such mushy thoughts and goo-ey, sickly sweet feelings.
But then the rain stopped pelting on him and he feels warmth through the brush of shoulders as the other holds the umbrella over his head and he couldn’t help but smile back.
He was classy, well dressed and by the size of his bag, hardworking, nice and friendly which is why Jun really cannot understand how he’s ended up pressed underneath him in this sleazy love hotel. But he is and the fact that he is actually underneath a guy who smiles like a frigging five year old is surprising in itself. But coherency is a luxury when he pushes inside and Jun’s just a mush of goo and sweetness and butterflies rule his stomach and fire his veins. It’s all too much and yet when the other’s nipping along his back it’s really not enough at all. His cock is neglected with nothing more than the friction from the sheets and he’s facing white and clutching white desperate for more. That’s when it really hits how much more he can get, how much more he can offer and worst of all how much he wants all of it, wants it until more is no more.
But it’s just wham, bam, thank you maa’m Jun realizes when the next day he’s alone and there’s no note, no signs of the other’s presence other than the remnants of a warmth that Jun wants again, solid and real and oppressing like it was a few hours back.
That day his work is slightly better. He’s finally got dibs on a man from the Midori clan. Once the first crack is made, the rest of the wall would follow. Now he’s so much more confident, hopeful and relaxed. But he’s also gone stupid since he’s back at the diner, same time, same seat, and same person opposite him, just slightly better clothes on his part.
The other man finishes dinner first and Jun thinks that it takes too long to lick the spoon clean or maybe he just notices the way his tongue is so adorably pink as it laps up remnants of curry from the metal contours of the lucky utensil.
Jun follows him again when he’s going out and this time he could swear he was waiting. There was no rain, no muddy puddles, just wide, open street and no other explanation as to why the other is standing outside with his hands stuffed in his pockets scuffing at the ground. Jun mirrors him and this time they just fall in step with each other as they walk towards the hotel.
This time he’s facing the other, tracing the curves of his face as the other coaxes his legs apart and over his shoulders. Jun hisses at the slight burn, but soon he’s too lost to even feel it. There’s rhythm in the way they rock against each other, heat in the way their tongues slide over each other and magic in the way they mould together, perfect and flawless even if he does say so himself.
He claws at the other’s back, pulls his hair as he adores his collarbones and Jun’s gasping, struggling, moaning for a name, not just any name but his name which to his dilemma he doesn’t know. He’s desperate and it muddles his brain, his name its as though its at the tip of his tongue like those things you know but cannot remember at the moment, as though every gasp somehow held the syllables of calling out to the other, but it was impossible because Jun’s never known his name.
Suddenly their eyes meet, laced with lust and pleasure and his with a panic of sorts that spreads to the other’s face as he slows down their pace and Jun’s shaking his head, moaning ‘faster?’ and he leaves it like a question and the other understands, gasps out a ‘Sho’ before burying his face into his chest and resuming the previous pace. It’s an introduction worth reminiscing to your grandchildren (when they’re old enough) and Jun has barely said his own name before all he can gasp out is Sho, Sho! ...Sho
It’s the hardest he’s come in weeks or maybe the months and he’s struggling to regain breath, feeling. But it’s not enough to make him forget his regrets from their previous encounter and he pulls the other close, kissing him softly and calling out to him. Sho wriggles closer, their limbs entangling and he calls back and Jun has to wonder how something as plain, simple and common as the monosyllable of his name can sound so beautiful.
He’s becoming more confident as his doses of Sho increases. He’s actually met up with the guy from the Midori clan, a short scruffy character with a hunched back and shifty eyes, not one that Jun would trust but the chance of an appointment with the clan leader is looking up.
He vents out his frustration whenever it builds because he can, because there is Sho and his calm is intimidating and that’s all good because being feared means being respected and respect amounts to a flow of work that’s kind of really amazing and satisfactory.
They meet up every other night unless the other has a night shift until finally the woman at the counter suggests renting a room for a month since it’s cheaper. A month is long; it almost amounts to a commitment. But he still revels in the tint of Sho’s cheeks as he thanks the lady for the tip and actually takes her suggestion.
The sleazy love hotel is no longer a sleazy love hotel but home Jun realizes with a groan. Even though Jun earns enough to afford a luxury apartment but be it subconsciously this was their haven and he likes it. Every broken, rickety corner reminds him of Sho, the torn curtains, the scratchy cotton of the bed sheet, the run down bed, the half rotten bedside table whose drawers contain the lube and whose countertop holds the bottle of water and the strip of painkiller that Sho always kept for him until he didn’t need it anymore, the shade less lamp, the dusty chair beside it (which could for some reason take the weight of two people they had pleasantly found out one night), the dirty walls and the cramped shower, there all just pieces that leads to that one person.
It was indeed a wonder when everything led to this. He couldn’t put his finger on the day that brought about their time together that was now spent doing more talking and cuddling rather than fucking. But that must be why he’s kind of living here, breathing in the scent of the sheets whenever Sho’s on his night shifts. He’s been curious as to what Sho does but he doesn’t pry because a “What do you do for a living?” that he throws at Sho will definitely be mirrored back to him. Jun is neither ready to lie nor tell the truth.
The bubble of comfort and love in this room, in Sho’s arm was one that he wanted to protect. And that’s what’s started to scare him. Love was a weakness in his world. It was badly exploited by enemies and he understands now why all those people he’s threatened over the years preferred to do the shittiest of things like giving up all their assets in exchange for their loved ones. A life without Sho would be meaningless, now. Fuck.
So he’s stopped meeting him at the diner; wanting to conceal Sho, wanting to keep him safe. Sho isn’t inquisitive. He just nods when Jun says they’ll head directly over to the hotel from then on.
Until one day Sho asks him to go out on a date.
“Ano…Tomorrow is kind of a very special day so wanna go out somewhere?”
Jun grins. It doesn’t matter anymore because tomorrow he’s finally got that meeting with the boss of the Midori clan and if he’s meeting he’s definitely interested, Jun just needs to play the cards right to finalize it and he is quite the master at playing cards.
“You know tomorrow is a very important day for me too. Guess we should go out.”
Sho beams and Jun caresses his face, pushing the stray strands away from his innocent face before leaning in for a kiss. The innocence…it bothers him, it tugs at his heart and that’s made him worrisome.
Jun’s sitting down with a firm yet polite expression, his hands lay poignantly clasped onto his lap and he lets slip a rare smile as the Midori head is signing their contract.
Suddenly there is panic and shouts from outside and the pen clatters to the ground, the boss is nowhere to be seen and some are busy picking up however many suitcases of heroin that was possible.
Jun knew what things like this meant…the police and he wasn’t afraid only he was in an unfamiliar place, escape routes unknown and people pushing him back instead of leading him to safety. By the time he located he exit route the police had already surrounded them.
Shouts and pointed guns and a shot at a person that dared to stray away. He looks around and sees that mostly his men are surrounded and the Midori group has almost all fled.
His hands are inside his pocket and the officer in front is pointing his gun, telling him to raise his hands above his head; voice coarse and hysteric. Jun does so, slowly brings his hands out of his pocket, allowing the strands of his hair to cover his face so that his calm expression does not give him away.
A matter of seconds before his gun is out and he’s pointing at the officer’s head, his cap fluttering to the floor. But his hands stop on the trigger… Sho. He sees a flicker of shock and recognition on the other’s eyes as there is hesitation across his. And that cost him. Another had lunged at him from the side and knocked his gun out of his hands as he handcuffs him.
“You alright Sakurai?”
And Sho shakes his head as though coming out of a reverie before nodding in reassurance. Sho spares him a glance before he’s rushing off to give orders and calling the station to report mission successful.
Jun was brought out for interrogation. The police did not lose time by the usual across table questioning. He was yakuza, they knew, he was trained to withstand mental pressure. His shirt was torn off before his hands were bound behind his back and he was tied to a chair. He wasn’t too surprised when Sho quietly walked in followed by two men with whips.
“Who are you working for?” Sho asks him half heartedly but Jun is as determined as ever. The question is not asked again before the whips make contact with the bare skin of his back, cold and biting. He hisses but there’s been worse When it stops he catches the tips of the whip adorned with blood from the corner of his eyes before Sho’s speaking again,
“Listen we found a suitcase of heroin. That’s enough for conviction but if you help us the punishment would be less severe.” Sho is almost pleading but Jun is relentless as he stares straight back at him.
There is a quiet whisper of, ‘Water’ before he finds himself dunked into it. He’s completely unprepared and takes in a mouthful and he is spluttering because some of it goes down his throat and everytime he opens his mouth to cough more water just gets in and its choking him, slowly he’s having difficulty to breath and his nostrils burn with having inhaled in the water and he wonders if this is the end for him when suddenly he’s pulled back out by his hair gasping, coughing and fighting for breath while looking straight up at Sho whose chanced a soft caress across his cheek, “Please tell us…please”
Sho’s begging and he knows why he is. He feels like it too because Sho has seen him bleed before, Sho has seen him wet before but he’s never seen Sho this sad before, his eyes are dead but pleading and his lips are quivering, his touch ever so tender that Jun wants to concede, wants to apologize and kiss and make up. But he has pride and an ego as big as his bling collection that doesn’t allow him to do so.
He felt a sharp tug at his hair and the subsequent forward push that would reel him towards the water again but there was a sharp, “Stop!”
Sho’s looking on the verge of falling apart as he almost screams out, “Just send him to central! Here he won’t talk.” And he’s dashed out of the room. Jun’s hauled up and thrown into the back of a car bound and gagged which he presumes would take him to Central.
Sho visits the café they decided their date to be in and he’s cursing because he’s two hours late. Damn work! He orders two cups of coffee and waits for Jun to come. He sips his coffee patiently and curses Jun for being irresponsible and so damn fucking late. But he knows that the curses he’s furiously letting out are just a way to stave off the thought of why Jun really wasn’t coming.
It worked for the first few minutes but soon the curses turned salty as had his coffee as the tears flowed out to accompany him.