(no subject)
"NO THADD! DON'T HIT ME WITH YOUR DICK!"
Yep.
It was one of those weekends.
Friday night was the monthly dinner with the dinner group people plus special guests Shwankie's Grandpa and Namaimo's roommate. Dinner was stellar as usual, even though I came woefully under equipped. The theme was "Something New" and my contribution was fresh pasta with home made pasta sauce (never done before) that I'd let simmer for a day.
Saturday was the Dropkick Murphy's concert in Grand Rapids with Badger Monkey, Casey, and Teh Jen. I'm sore, bruised, and my ears are still ringing. Highlights of the evening were:
-Having Monkey point out that, while keeping our small and squishy friends "safe", we (Monkey and I) are WAY too organized to be in there. We had tactics, and strategies, and even picked up others who were seeking shelter from the crowd. Apparently including one diminutive girl who thought it hilarious that while the crowd was oppressive elsewhere there was an odd vacancy immediately behind me. Presumably because I make a better door than window.
-Having some guy hit on/arm-wrestle/try to start a fight with me. Coming out of the pit to get water (to drink not dance on) he said "Who are you supposed to be? Adonis?/I won both times (right-handed, then left. I didn't have the heart to tell him I'm left handed)/ Had to walk away when he started to get more serious about the arm wrestling.
-Screaming, swinging, elbowing, stomping, thrashing, yelling, and moshing to all my favorite songs: "Finnigns Wake", "Fields of Athenry", "Spicy McHaggis Jig", "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced", "Tessie", and "Oi Oi Oi." But at that decibel, even "The Dirty Glass" and "Sunshine Highway" are good songs.
-Realizing that in a pit packed with hooligans full up on Irish Courage, listening to the most powerful music, and having nothing they like more than to than shove, jab, spin, stomp, kick and slam you around: You're with family, and it's done with love.
Sunday night Shwankie, her grandfather, met up with Jason and his new girlfriend Heather at Improv Inferno. Their Sunday show is $5 for 4 shows, an hour each, starting with some amateur stand-ups (more on that later), then amateur improv groups, a semi-professional improv troupe, and capped off with an improv rap show. The first show was bad, second show was not great, but the third show was fucking hilarious!
Shawn and I had made murmurs about leaving after the second show, but the third started without so much as a pause in the applause so we were roped in to staying because our five people made up half of the audience. The troupe was made up of two Second City actors and two senior/former students, they were newly formed and hadn't performed before. A short, pot-bellied man (probably one of the teachers) stepped up, did the introduction and asked for some help from the audience:
"Good Evening Sir" to me "How are you doing?"
"Starlight."
"Good. What's your name?" Little did he know, he was about to get a lot more material than he was expecting.
"Thadd."
"Really? That's a cool name!"
"(I don't remember what he said here, something that lead me to say...)"
"Yeah. 'Thaddeus Maximus'."
"So you're like a warrior or something. Cool. What do you do for a living?"
"I build armor kits for trucks."
"You what? Really? Like, to go to war?"
"Yep."
"Wow! Ok... so you're like Mr. All-American... Ok."
The other members of the cast stepped up in turn to ask other questions of the rest of audience, and the show began.
The first skit the 'Mechanic' armored up a truck for the driver who was going to Ferndale... with chain maille. This is now my new favorite visualization.
The next skit started ripples that spread out over the rest of the show. It started in a pet shop with a man looking for a nice fish, but the first fish was too gay. The second one was a very evil, badass fish named "Thaddeus", with a HUGE dick that he eventually used to break the glass on the aquarium, and bludgeon the pet shop owner and kill customer. The customer's last words were "NO THADD! DON'T HIT ME WITH YOUR DICK!".
Next was the documentary "The Wonderful World of Fish Dicks".
There were "lepercorns", the pet name for Leprechauns (who shit gold on your pillow at night and pee "bad choices of an ill spent youth" cheese) testicle, and the revelation that Leprechauns are the spawn of Lepers who sex while their junk was all rotty and falling off.
The last skit of the show was a Moby dick story about a Capitan who was obsessed with killing the whale that ate his ship. This wasn't just any whale, but the whale that possessed a seven foot cock "The Dick. Not 'a' dick, but The Dick!" The Capitan was going to kill that whale, carve it up in to steaks, and eat that whale's fat dick "Inch by glorious inch!”
The Mexican lawn-boy jumped ship when the whale jumped onboard and started cock-whipping the Capitan. The Capitan tried to fight back, but the whale had a gun. Unfortunately it missed the Capitan and the bullet ricocheted around the bullet proof hull of the ship (because the Capitan had a brother named Thadd who "reinforced it") and cracked the diver's helmet it was wearing. The skit ended with the whale getting back in to the water and crushing the captain’s head with its massive cock.
Shwankie thought this was funny.
So did her grandfather.
Yep.
It was one of those weekends.
Friday night was the monthly dinner with the dinner group people plus special guests Shwankie's Grandpa and Namaimo's roommate. Dinner was stellar as usual, even though I came woefully under equipped. The theme was "Something New" and my contribution was fresh pasta with home made pasta sauce (never done before) that I'd let simmer for a day.
Saturday was the Dropkick Murphy's concert in Grand Rapids with Badger Monkey, Casey, and Teh Jen. I'm sore, bruised, and my ears are still ringing. Highlights of the evening were:
-Having Monkey point out that, while keeping our small and squishy friends "safe", we (Monkey and I) are WAY too organized to be in there. We had tactics, and strategies, and even picked up others who were seeking shelter from the crowd. Apparently including one diminutive girl who thought it hilarious that while the crowd was oppressive elsewhere there was an odd vacancy immediately behind me. Presumably because I make a better door than window.
-Having some guy hit on/arm-wrestle/try to start a fight with me. Coming out of the pit to get water (to drink not dance on) he said "Who are you supposed to be? Adonis?/I won both times (right-handed, then left. I didn't have the heart to tell him I'm left handed)/ Had to walk away when he started to get more serious about the arm wrestling.
-Screaming, swinging, elbowing, stomping, thrashing, yelling, and moshing to all my favorite songs: "Finnigns Wake", "Fields of Athenry", "Spicy McHaggis Jig", "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced", "Tessie", and "Oi Oi Oi." But at that decibel, even "The Dirty Glass" and "Sunshine Highway" are good songs.
-Realizing that in a pit packed with hooligans full up on Irish Courage, listening to the most powerful music, and having nothing they like more than to than shove, jab, spin, stomp, kick and slam you around: You're with family, and it's done with love.
Sunday night Shwankie, her grandfather, met up with Jason and his new girlfriend Heather at Improv Inferno. Their Sunday show is $5 for 4 shows, an hour each, starting with some amateur stand-ups (more on that later), then amateur improv groups, a semi-professional improv troupe, and capped off with an improv rap show. The first show was bad, second show was not great, but the third show was fucking hilarious!
Shawn and I had made murmurs about leaving after the second show, but the third started without so much as a pause in the applause so we were roped in to staying because our five people made up half of the audience. The troupe was made up of two Second City actors and two senior/former students, they were newly formed and hadn't performed before. A short, pot-bellied man (probably one of the teachers) stepped up, did the introduction and asked for some help from the audience:
"Good Evening Sir" to me "How are you doing?"
"Starlight."
"Good. What's your name?" Little did he know, he was about to get a lot more material than he was expecting.
"Thadd."
"Really? That's a cool name!"
"(I don't remember what he said here, something that lead me to say...)"
"Yeah. 'Thaddeus Maximus'."
"So you're like a warrior or something. Cool. What do you do for a living?"
"I build armor kits for trucks."
"You what? Really? Like, to go to war?"
"Yep."
"Wow! Ok... so you're like Mr. All-American... Ok."
The other members of the cast stepped up in turn to ask other questions of the rest of audience, and the show began.
The first skit the 'Mechanic' armored up a truck for the driver who was going to Ferndale... with chain maille. This is now my new favorite visualization.
The next skit started ripples that spread out over the rest of the show. It started in a pet shop with a man looking for a nice fish, but the first fish was too gay. The second one was a very evil, badass fish named "Thaddeus", with a HUGE dick that he eventually used to break the glass on the aquarium, and bludgeon the pet shop owner and kill customer. The customer's last words were "NO THADD! DON'T HIT ME WITH YOUR DICK!".
Next was the documentary "The Wonderful World of Fish Dicks".
There were "lepercorns", the pet name for Leprechauns (who shit gold on your pillow at night and pee "bad choices of an ill spent youth" cheese) testicle, and the revelation that Leprechauns are the spawn of Lepers who sex while their junk was all rotty and falling off.
The last skit of the show was a Moby dick story about a Capitan who was obsessed with killing the whale that ate his ship. This wasn't just any whale, but the whale that possessed a seven foot cock "The Dick. Not 'a' dick, but The Dick!" The Capitan was going to kill that whale, carve it up in to steaks, and eat that whale's fat dick "Inch by glorious inch!”
The Mexican lawn-boy jumped ship when the whale jumped onboard and started cock-whipping the Capitan. The Capitan tried to fight back, but the whale had a gun. Unfortunately it missed the Capitan and the bullet ricocheted around the bullet proof hull of the ship (because the Capitan had a brother named Thadd who "reinforced it") and cracked the diver's helmet it was wearing. The skit ended with the whale getting back in to the water and crushing the captain’s head with its massive cock.
Shwankie thought this was funny.
So did her grandfather.