(no subject)
and now for something funny . . .
a friend sends out stuff he culls from a site called, i think, 'overheard in new york' - tho some of them sound much too apocryphal to me to be real, they are funny . . . here's my culling of his culls . . .
Woman: So, what did you do for Easter?
Man: I took my kids to Chuck E. Cheese. My ex says I never do anything for those kids. I guess I showed her, and I can't wait to tell her that next week in court.
--N train, Astoria
JAP: So he, like, lives in Brooklyn. On purpose.
Three friends: Ewww...
--LIRR
Employee: Welcome to the Hayden Planetarium. Please turn off your cell phones, digital cameras, and small children.
--Museum of Natural History
Dude #1: How come when you have sex bad things happen, like STDs? Why can't you get sexually transmitted skills, like creativity?
Dude #2: Or juggling.
--NYU Kimmel
Girl on cell: I think I forgot my toothpaste at home. Can you mail it to me tomorrow?
--LIRR
History buff: So, you've heard about the Boston Tea Party, right? So, what happened is this guy, Christopher Columbus, is sailing around looking for the West Indies but instead finds America. He goes back to mother England and tells them all about it, and mother England sends over all the prostitutes and criminals. So England forgets all about America, but when they check back in, all those criminals survived -- they prospered -- so mother England's like, 'You gotta pay taxes now.' But the criminals say, 'Hey, we didn't ask to get sent here anyway. We're not paying nothing.' And that's how it happened, son. You'll learn about it in high school.
--F train, Brooklyn
Goy #1 examining a mezuzah: What are these things?
Goy #2: It's a Jewish decoration.
Goy #1: Oh, yeah. I've seen them in Jewish people's houses.
Goy #2: Yeah, it's called a dreidel.
--Abigael's on Broadway, 39th & Broadway
Tween princess: But Mo-ooo-m, seven hundred dollars is not that much for a pair of shoes!
--89th & Broadway
a friend sends out stuff he culls from a site called, i think, 'overheard in new york' - tho some of them sound much too apocryphal to me to be real, they are funny . . . here's my culling of his culls . . .
Woman: So, what did you do for Easter?
Man: I took my kids to Chuck E. Cheese. My ex says I never do anything for those kids. I guess I showed her, and I can't wait to tell her that next week in court.
--N train, Astoria
JAP: So he, like, lives in Brooklyn. On purpose.
Three friends: Ewww...
--LIRR
Employee: Welcome to the Hayden Planetarium. Please turn off your cell phones, digital cameras, and small children.
--Museum of Natural History
Dude #1: How come when you have sex bad things happen, like STDs? Why can't you get sexually transmitted skills, like creativity?
Dude #2: Or juggling.
--NYU Kimmel
Girl on cell: I think I forgot my toothpaste at home. Can you mail it to me tomorrow?
--LIRR
History buff: So, you've heard about the Boston Tea Party, right? So, what happened is this guy, Christopher Columbus, is sailing around looking for the West Indies but instead finds America. He goes back to mother England and tells them all about it, and mother England sends over all the prostitutes and criminals. So England forgets all about America, but when they check back in, all those criminals survived -- they prospered -- so mother England's like, 'You gotta pay taxes now.' But the criminals say, 'Hey, we didn't ask to get sent here anyway. We're not paying nothing.' And that's how it happened, son. You'll learn about it in high school.
--F train, Brooklyn
Goy #1 examining a mezuzah: What are these things?
Goy #2: It's a Jewish decoration.
Goy #1: Oh, yeah. I've seen them in Jewish people's houses.
Goy #2: Yeah, it's called a dreidel.
--Abigael's on Broadway, 39th & Broadway
Tween princess: But Mo-ooo-m, seven hundred dollars is not that much for a pair of shoes!
--89th & Broadway