a sister's thanks for It Gets Better
Do not read if you're feeling prone to tears! You know who you are.
Hi, Dan,
I want to say thank you for the "It Gets Better" project -- I so hope it's getting to the isolated queer and questioning kids who need it most, but I'm sure you're finding that it speaks to a pretty large swath of humanity. I'm the straight older sister of a gay teenager who came out two years ago. My brother goes back and forth between being my best friend and my kid; our parents don't really have it together, so it's the two of us most of the time. I was harassed in middle school for being smart, antisocial, and not feminine enough, so when he came out, I had this really visceral fear for him. It was irrational; I mean, he came out on the eve of his departure for super-liberal hippy boarding school, so any teasing he'd had was probably in the past, but when you love someone like I love him, you can't fear rationally. I felt wildly protective. And even now that he's at yet another liberal school, college this time, I fear for him out in the world, just for him knowing that there are people who hate him without knowing him, people who don't want him to be a full citizen. I'm even afraid of the otherwise very nice young men who might break his heart someday. I am trying endlessly to make up for the uncertainly and upheaval of his life when he was living with our parents and I was off at college, but it can't ever be enough to take those years away--
So it's reassuring to hear everyone, but especially older gay couples, talk about how awesome life really is, how they found each other and fell in love and now they're in it for the long haul. Through bullying, teasing, beatings, and unloving parents (or through loving parents with their own problems spiraling out of control...), they made it. And my heart breaks for all my little brother's analogs out there without a sister or without parents who even try, but when I watch It Gets Better videos and cry, it's not from sadness so much as from the unfamiliar, and painful, feeling of relief.
Thanks again.
-Megan
Hi, Dan,
I want to say thank you for the "It Gets Better" project -- I so hope it's getting to the isolated queer and questioning kids who need it most, but I'm sure you're finding that it speaks to a pretty large swath of humanity. I'm the straight older sister of a gay teenager who came out two years ago. My brother goes back and forth between being my best friend and my kid; our parents don't really have it together, so it's the two of us most of the time. I was harassed in middle school for being smart, antisocial, and not feminine enough, so when he came out, I had this really visceral fear for him. It was irrational; I mean, he came out on the eve of his departure for super-liberal hippy boarding school, so any teasing he'd had was probably in the past, but when you love someone like I love him, you can't fear rationally. I felt wildly protective. And even now that he's at yet another liberal school, college this time, I fear for him out in the world, just for him knowing that there are people who hate him without knowing him, people who don't want him to be a full citizen. I'm even afraid of the otherwise very nice young men who might break his heart someday. I am trying endlessly to make up for the uncertainly and upheaval of his life when he was living with our parents and I was off at college, but it can't ever be enough to take those years away--
So it's reassuring to hear everyone, but especially older gay couples, talk about how awesome life really is, how they found each other and fell in love and now they're in it for the long haul. Through bullying, teasing, beatings, and unloving parents (or through loving parents with their own problems spiraling out of control...), they made it. And my heart breaks for all my little brother's analogs out there without a sister or without parents who even try, but when I watch It Gets Better videos and cry, it's not from sadness so much as from the unfamiliar, and painful, feeling of relief.
Thanks again.
-Megan