Fic: Red Sky (Mal/Wash/Zoe)
I've had this sitting around for almost a month now...I guess I should post it.
Originally written as a Sweet Charity fic for invisibleshrew but I misinterpreted the prompt "The first time Mal thumped Wash" as "The first time Mal humped Wash". And then it just became a story. Saddly, with no humping going on.
It's more pre-Mal/Wash/Zoe than anything. An AU from Out of Gas. Character death warning? Rating...ah...PG-13. Length 8300 words. Roughly.
Beta'd by the amazing sarahetc.
Red Sky
They've picked up the shattered pieces and moved on. There's not much else they could have done. There's times Wash even thinks it's better like this. Not always on the run. Life sure goes a lot smoother when none of them are getting shot at on a regular basis.
The fact that there's a lot less of 'them' than there should be? Wash always feels guilty for thinking it.
But Zoe's been bringing up kids again and Wash doesn't really have any reason to say no. So they've been trying and a week ago.... Well, hell, Wash is going to be a dad. It's hard not to like the way things are now.
Simon's the one that told him, a big grin on the doctor's face. It took awhile but Wash has noticed the change--Simon has never looked so relaxed.
"Congratulations," he tells Wash and shakes Wash's hand like the doctor he's been able to become again. He's got a small practice here. The locals of the small settlement all know him, just like he knows all of them. He's the only doctor for a hundred miles and they all love him for it.
Fact is, they all have good jobs here. Zoe works along side the local law enforcement, what there is of them. A sheriff and a couple appointed citizens. Not many around here have had much run in with someone like her and there hasn't been much in the way of trouble since they signed her on.
Even River helps out. She likes the gardens, all the fresh produce that's grown at the greenhouses on the edge of the town, and the worker's welcome her in and show her the ropes. They teach her how to grow some of the biggest tomatoes this side of the verse. In return for her work, she brings home fresh vegetables and fruit every week.
Of course, Wash makes himself useful as well. He finds himself working a lot of the maintenance jobs through the town. He always has been good with his hands and repairing things like well pumps forces him to learn a lot of new stuff, so the job doesn't get old. He's something of an apprentice under the settlement's aging handy man.
Sure, he misses flying sometimes. It's like a bone deep ache in him some days but he pushes by it. Six months after the accident and it's not so bad anymore. He imagines that in another six months, he won't even think about it.
Zoe's arms wrap around him from behind. He jumps, the way he always does, and it makes her laugh, which makes him smile. He's watching the sun go down, a sight he's still not entirely used to, and she watches with him for a few minutes in silence.
It's River that breaks it and they both turn to her. "Death happens on red."
She's been better but not better. She still says things that make Wash's stomach sink. Things that should be staying firmly in the past, to a life and a ship that they've all left behind.
Not so much left behind as just couldn't find, though. They looked, searched that sector of space for weeks, looking for any sign of Serenity or the other shuttle. Scoured the Cortex searching for some report but there was never anything. Space is too big and the ship's too small. Wash figured Serenity had probably been picked apart by scavengers by now, a thought that leaves a sour taste in his mouth. The same sort of thing they used to do to the derelict ships they found.
"What's that, sweetie?" Wash asks River. She's staring out the window as the last of the color vanish from the skyline.
"A red sky."
Zoe lets go of Wash to step up to the girl as a distraught look passes over her face but she's already backing away from them, turning and running from the room. She's going to the gardens, they both know it as they watch her leave the room.
Wash sighs and steps forward. "I'll get Simon."
He doesn't get more than a couple steps towards Simon's room when the radio transmitter in the corner of their common room goes off with a burst of static.
"Zoe, you there? We need you in town. Now."
The unmasked urgency to the voice has Wash's stomach doing a turn. Zoe's reaching to answer it but Wash's hand closes over her wrist. He still gets worried when she goes out. River's premonitions still scare him.
"Maybe you should stay here tonight."
She rolls her eyes at him. "Honey... Last time they called me into town it was to stop a couple drunken ben dan from disturbin' the peace." She gives him a pointed look. "An' one of 'em was you."
"Yeah, well..."
"Don't let River get to you. Been over a month since I've even had to draw a gun."
He lets her go reluctantly.
*
Wash has met a lot of people since they've settled here. They all have. At times Wash thinks the folk are a little too accepting, a little too trustworthy. They've never been given much reason not to be that way, though, and within the first month, Wash thought this really could be heaven. Maybe they had died on that shuttle, after all.
It's all still too vivid in his mind. They'd had to power the shuttle down, drift through space to conserve the last of the fuel, to keep the oxygen circulating and the heat. They turned the heat down as much as they could and little River couldn't stop shivering.
Zoe wasn't waking up.
The beacon was going strong as he could make it, radar searching the black for signs of anything.
River had fallen asleep when Simon came up to sit with him, hand resting on his shoulder but Wash didn't know what to say, sure didn't expect the doctor to.
Mal would be dead by now, with no call to come back. There hadn't been any miracle there. They could only hope the other shuttle was fairing better.
When he'd drifted off, he was brought back by Simon's frantic voice.
"There's someone. There's someone there. Wash. Wash, we're saved."
He remembers that moment more vividly than any of the others. Moments of pure joy like he's never felt before. They were found. They got help. A crew of a small transport ship that took them on board and took them to Harvest, the planet they were settled on now. The crew had been making a routine pass between worlds, picking up goods and doing some trading. They'd been the first to welcome all of them into this town.
He's got Simon with him again now, sitting in the common room. Simon's reading some text. He buys them occasionally when something good comes in at the junk store in town. They have a little bit of everything and since Simon's shown up they get the occasional medical text just for him. Wash bets Simon knows most of them by heart; he reads and rereads them.
Wash is staring out the window again, it's all black now. He can see the stars clear and blanketing the sky. There's not much light pollution here. Everything is shut down at night to save as much energy as possible and there's only the occasional street light to show someone the way.
Wash can't see into town from here anyway, they're too far onto the outskirts. His fingers tap against his knee and he's worrying too much, he knows. Zoe is right and the odds of anything happening out there beyond some minor disturbance are null. Still, old habits die hard and he's always going to worry about her.
"Wash."
He looks from the window to find that Simon has been watching him, small amused smile on his face.
"You really can relax."
"Look who this is coming from. I'll relax when Zoe is home. Got twice the reason to worry now."
Simon's smile grows and he sets the medical text down. "I guess so. We're going to have to figure out a way to get her to stay home in a few months from now."
"Or now. Getting her to stay home now would be good." He doesn't want to take any chances,not with Zoe, not with the baby.
Simon watches him for a minute again before getting to his feet. "Come on. I never bought you a celebratory drink."
Wash grins, nodding agreement, even if he knows what Simon is really trying to do. Get him out of the house and stop him worrying so much about Zoe. Wash doesn't have the heart to tell Simon that it's not going to work.
They grab jackets and head out of the house, after Simon has checked in on River to make sure she's soundly sleeping. That's another thing, Simon isn't afraid to leave River on her own. There's not much trouble to get into her here and none of the townsfolk would hurt her. If anything, they'd call Simon and tell him not to worry when they saw her.
They walk down the dusty dark road, not needing light to know the way to the small pub. It's only open for another hour, even the drinking establishment has a habit of closing early here as it's not even midnight by this planet's time. They'll still get their drink and maybe they'll run into Zoe.
They find her. Not a scratch on her from what Wash can tell but the tension still races through him. Not fear. Anger. She's sitting in the pub, at the bar and there's a drink in her hand.
"Zoe! What in dì yù do you think you're doing?" He's up behind her and grabs her arm, upsetting her grip on the drink so that it falls to the bar and spills clear liquid everywhere. Water.
Her hand is on her gun, instinct that won't ever leave no matter how relaxed they can be here. She stops when she sees it's him and the look on her face is like nothing he's ever seen before.
Mal is sitting next to her.
*
He almost died. They shot him and tried to steal the ship but he showed them a thing or two. You don't mess with Mal, Wash has learned that lesson a time or two over. He tried to call them back but never made it and figured he was done for.
What are the odds of two ships picking up that signal?
Wash doesn't know but it happened. It barely sinks in. Mal is sitting with them in their common room. Wash has a rapidly cooling cup of coffee in his hands and Zoe is sitting next to him, her hand on his arm.
When Mal stepped in with them, River only greeted him with a smile and a welcome back.
"Been lookin'. Working a bit but mostly lookin'. Got wind a few folks stranded in space had been brought here and thought I might get lucky."
There's hugs and reminiscing and all the good stuff. All the while, Wash can't help thinking at the back of his mind; Why now? Why when everything is perfect. And he remembers what River said and there's always something to what that girl says.
"Got a job here, too." He looks to Zoe with a grin. "What do y' say, Zo'? Could be fun."
"No."
They all turn to look at Wash as he firmly answers for Zoe.
"No?" Zoe echoes him but he's staring Mal down.
"We don't do jobs like that anymore. We have a legitimate home here and you're not coming in to ruin it for us."
Mal looks as shocked as Wash has ever seen the man before, looking to Zoe and then to him, letting out an incredulous laugh. "Ain't here for that. It's a simple job, no trouble caused."
"Right. And how many times have you said that before?" Mal doesn't really have an answer to that. "Mal, I'm glad you're here. Glad you're alive, really, I am. But you can't come in here and expect Zoe to go waltzing off-"
"Wash," Zoe's warning is soft but enough to stop him.
"You're not gonna say yes." She hesitates. He can see the desire to follow the captain. Or maybe it's just a yearning for some action the way he gets the yearning to fly sometimes. "You're rutting pregnant, Zoe."
Mal's shocked gaze snaps to Zoe. "You're what?"
There's more explaining to do after that and by the time they all turn in for the night, Wash gets the feeling that it's all still up in the air. He holds Zoe close in the large double bed. He still can't quite wrap his mind around the fact that Mal is sleeping on the couch in the the common room.
Zoe turns into him and rests her head down against his chest. "Looked everywhere for him."
"We looked for all of them. There was no sign, Zo', no way we could have known." She doesn't answer him. "What happens now?"
She looks up, a bit of a frown though she's smiling. "We go to sleep."
And they'll figure it out in the morning.
Wash makes sure that he's the first one up, slipping carefully from the bed. Zoe doesn't stir the way she used to, years ago when they first started sharing a bed. She's used to him moving about in the night, she doesn't jump to attention now.
He's not all that surprised to find that Mal's awake, that the man has raided their kitchen. He has a bowl of dry cereal in front of him and coffee brewing. Wash crosses his arms and feels himself bristling. He should be glad Mal is back and alive, that not all of the others had to die that day. All he gets is the sense that Mal is intruding.
"See you made yourself at home."
Mal smiles at him and Wash pauses before relaxing a bit and coming into the room to sit at the table as well. "Got hungry. Put the coffee on, if y' want any." Mal eyes Wash for a moment. "Don't mind, do you?"
"No." He takes a deep breath and goes ahead. "What I mind is you coming back here and thinking you can expect us all to fall back into line. You're not my captain anymore, Mal, and I'm not getting back on any ship with you. I'm not being a thief again. And I'm pretty sure the others would agree."
That's a lie. He knows Simon would agree. He never knows what River is going to do next and Zoe... Zoe's still a soldier. And he can already see it in her eyes, that she's faithful to Mal.
Mal swallows his mouthful of cereal deliberately. "Wasn't plannin' on none of that, Wash."
"I don't want Zoe getting hurt."
"Last thing I'm wantin', too."
*
It might be the last thing Mal is wanting but it's the first thing he manages to do.
Mal and Zoe slip out of the house the next night. Wash doesn't notice until he rolls over into Zoe's spot and she's been sleeping there for too long without deviation for his sleeping mind not to notice the difference. He's awake a few minutes later, rolling out of the bed to check the kitchen for her.
She's not there. He checks the common room and grits his teeth when he finds the Mal is gone from the couch.
Stomping around the house looking has woken Simon as well and Wash catches sight of the man poking his head through his bedroom door, hair a mess and looking at Wash with a blurred gaze.
"Wash? What's going on?"
"Mal and Zoe are gone." He lets out a harsh breath, a shake of his head. "Can't believe she went with that hundan."
He can see Simon searching for words that he doesn't believe in. "I'm sure they're just... Mal isn't going to put Zoe in any danger."
Wash presses fingers to his forehead. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure." He's sure that Mal wouldn't knowingly put Zoe in any danger. But things have this way of happening around Mal, trouble follows him. "Think I might just go follow them anyway."
"You don't even know where they went."
"Are you coming?"
Simon hesitates. "Yes."
*
They've all gotten close over the months. The four of them. Wash doesn't hesitate to call them all family. His kid is going to grow up calling Simon 'uncle'.
It hits him as being selfish, that he's looking at Mal like an outsider and an intruder. Bringing the trouble back to a life they've managed to carve out. All he remembers though, is guns and running and suicidal plans. Now Wash has a baby coming, something he never would have wanted if he'd thought this old life was going to make a reappearance. Something it's done in spades with Mal showing up on their doorstep.
Zoe had cried. He'd seen the dried tracks over her cheeks when he'd found them in the bar. The look he'd seen on her had been relief and joy, all rolled up, like he's never been able to bring her on this moon. The closest he's come to seeing that look was when she broke the news to him that she was pregnant.
He and Simon are jogging into the town, it's past midnight and there's hardly a light on, other than the three street lamps that are spaced out along the main road. There's only a couple of lights on from the houses of people still awake.
When a gunshot comes out of that black, Wash's heart jumps up into his throat, the feeling so familiar he has to fight back the urge to heave, swallowing hard.
"Wáng bā dàn."
Simon's hand grips at his arm, long fingers pinch the fabric of his shirt. Then Simon's tugging at him and they're both running. "It came from here."
It's all too familiar. The rush of adrenaline, packed in with fear. Their feet pound against the dirt road and Wash thinks he's racing head first into his worst nightmare. Maybe not quite his worst, he's sure that's Zoe running towards them. Mal is right behind her. They have guns drawn.
They meet, Zoe grabs his arm and hauls him around, his feet stumble under him and then he's running along side her. Mal pulls a similar move on Simon. Wash goes near a hundred yards before he's skidding to a halt, fast enough that Zoe is jerked to one next to him and Simon nearly runs into his back.
“Stop. What the hell is going on?”
Mal's giving him that irritated look he used to get. The one that says he's the captain so don't question him. Except he's not anymore and Wash always questioned him anyway. After a moment of Wash not looking away, Mal does, almost looking guilty.
And Wash doesn't really need it explained. They're about to get uprooted from their quiet life and shoved back into Mal's. The shouts stir all four of them back to life and Zoe gets Wash running again. Hopefully unseen, hopefully with enough time to gather River and jump into whatever piece of go se ship Mal's got his hands on this time.
*
It's not Serenity. Close but not.
Wash doesn't wait to for Mal to order him--he's up to the bridge. Simon's got River in tow and she's grinning, for some unknown reason. If both Zoe and River are wanting to go with Mal back to this, to being on the run, Wash and Simon may as well give it up and agree now.
The ship shakes more than Serenity ever did. More beat up but Wash's skills are rusty as well. Wash can't help it, he feels the ship rise up, artificial gravity kicking in as the engines thrust them, more powerful than he'd have guessed, to the sky, and he feels a rush of excitement.
I'm flying, I'm flying. And the controls feel good under his hands. He's forgotten what it felt like, the intimacy of it, being able to control something this powerful, having it respond to the slightest nudge from his fingers. It's easy to get lost in it, to keep flying even when they're out in the black, when he could flick the auto-pilot on and step away. He forgets why he was angry and the only thing going through his mind with his hands tight on the yoke is; Why did I ever give this up?
Then Zoe comes onto the bridge. He can tell even through her looser shirt that she's starting to show now, everyone is going to know that there's this little person in there. Mal is right behind her.
Wash sighs, abandoning the good feelings of flying as he flips the auto-pilot on and turns to them. Mal speaks before he can question, looking pleased enough at a job done well, which is any one they walk away from.
“Plot a course t-”
“No.”
“No?” Mal looks surprised but Wash gets to his feet, determined, even at Zoe's hand on his arm, attempting to stop him.
“You're not my captain, Mal. And this isn't my job anymore.”
“Wash, honey.” Zoe shakes her head for him to stop again and the look on her face pulls him up short. She doesn't look at Mal when she tells him to leave. And she doesn't call him 'captain' or 'sir'. Just tells him to get off the bridge and he listens to her.
Once he's gone, Zoe grips at Wash's arms, maneuvering him backwards until his knees catch at the pilot's seat and it's easy for her to push him down on it. He's not resisting her anyways and, a second later, she's down on his lap and his arms are around her waist. She's not letting either of them have any distance and that alone is enough to loosen the knot that's taken up residence in his chest.
“What are you doing?” His voice pleads with her to tell him.
She rests her forehead against his and takes a deep breath. “Can't tell me you don't...miss some of this.” There's a hopeful note to her tone, a faint touch of the wistful.
Wash hesitates. Does he miss any of this? He never thought on it much because he never expected it to come back. He misses the flying, he can admit to that without hesitation. But the rest of it... “I don't know. I thought you were happy?”
“I am, baby.” But she doesn't give anything to back that up, doesn't give him any reason to think that she's telling the truth.
“Am I not enough? You gotta go back to where Mal is?” He feels the old doubts rising back up in him. He doesn't miss this. The knowing that he's right about them. Knowing that neither of them will admit to it when it would be so much easier if they did. Wash isn't enough to make Zoe happy on his own, it doesn't matter what he does. But Mal isn't enough, either.
“It ain't like that, Wash, don't start with this again.”
“Then what is it like? You wanna risk everything to do what Mal says?” Risk their baby and their lives and the new family they built. “I can't do this again, Zoe. I can't live like that.”
“An' you're not gonna have to.” They both turn to find that Mal has been listening.
*
They set the ship down on Boros and Mal sells it. Takes the coin he gets and buys a house. A small homestead that's surrounded with fields. Giving them the illusion of privacy, of having their own little world which Wash thinks is more for Mal's benefit than anything else. He's always needed to have his own piece of the 'verse.
It's almost good. Mal gets himself straight, he finds a job to help with bills, running cattle on the neighboring ranch. He's hired before any of the others manage it. There's not as much call for doctors or handy men here but River manages a place in the local school, assisting whatever teachers need it.
The tension doesn't leave. Not a week later, or a month. Not when Simon replaces an older doctor at the clinic or when Wash catches a job running transport and he's gone for a week at a time. He doesn't trust what's going on during that week he's gone. Zoe gets further along and he and Mal convince her that working can wait, just for now. Sort of convince. She insists she's doing something, not sitting around being waited on. Never was something she could stomach. She joins Mal on the ranch and that's good enough for Wash, at least she's not handling a gun and that's one less thing to worry about.
After awhile, Wash starts to think that he worries too much. They've fallen into routine, things get back to comfortable, Mal doesn't try to push. Wash even starts to enjoy spending time with him again.
He's on a two week leave when Mal corners him in the living room, tossing a pair of thick gloves onto Wash's lap that make him jump and almost spill his morning coffee. He shoots Mal a baffled look but the man's just grinning at him. Wash knows immediately that he's up to something.
“...What?”
“We need us an extra hand at the ranch. Thought I'd volunteer you.”
Wash's eyes shoot open wide. “Mal... Can you see me tryin' to herd a bunch of cows? You remember last time? I was sitting on that fence for a reason. Getting trampled isn't high on my list of things to do.”
Mal looks more pleased with himself. “No herding, I promise.”
“I'm not cleaning up after them this time, either.”
Mal rolls his eyes and gestures Wash to get up. “Quit whinging an' come on. You need some sun anyway. Startin' to look like Simon.”
“Hey!” The doctor pipes up from where he's been reading a morning bulletin quietly in the corner. Wash has to smile at the false indignation on his face.
“Come on, Wash. We're late, Zoe's already out there.”
Wash sighs as he gives in and gets to his feet. There's some arguments that he just can't win and he can tell that going to Simon for backup isn't going to work with the doctor smirking at him like that.
“Have fun,” Simon imparts to them as they leave.
They climb through the barbed wire fence lining the ranch property to take the short cut across the fields. Wash trips on nothing while batting at grasshoppers, yelping outright when one almost rockets up into his face. Mal's hands on his shoulders steady him when Wash would have fallen over in his bid to get away.
“So,” Wash starts once they're walking normally again and Mal has stopped laughing at him, “Why'd you really ask me out here?”
Mal shrugs, looking awkward like he does whenever he's asked to bring up feelings. “Gettin' the sense you still don't like my being here.”
How is Wash supposed to come up with an answer to that? He doesn't, just keeps walking and stares resolutely down at the tall grass.
“I didn't show up looking for trouble. Just my crew.”
“We're not crew.” Wash hates the way his voice sounds so bitter.
“Family then.”
Which they are, and Wash doesn't have the right to keep Mal out of that. He finds he doesn't want to, either, and smiles at the man.
*
It's easier after that. Wash stops being suspicious that Mal is going to uproot them again just when they really start settling in. Zoe finally takes leave at the ranch, almost eight months along now. Simon spends a lot of his time with her and River can be caught hovering around her on most days as well, curious. Wash goes out with Mal to the ranch more often and learns some of the ropes on the days they can't do without that one extra hand. Turns out he's got a bit of skill with roping calves.
It also turns out that calves are a lot stronger than him and the one time he's not fast enough to wrap his end of the rope around his horses saddle horn, is the time he gets drug half-way across the dirt pen before either the calf stops or he gets the sense to let go of the rope. He hit the ground hard enough to knock the wind out of him and he's honestly not sure. He also learns why everyone else wears thick shirts and not Hawaiian shirts.
Mal takes him back home, wincing all the way, scraped and bruised.
“I told you, Mal. I told you I am not a cow person. We just don't get along because of the differences of opinion.” His complaining is drawing the attention of the others in the house, just Zoe while Simon and River go about their own day. “See, I want them to stand still and they want to kill me.”
Mal rolls his eyes. “Yeah, lets try that exaggeratin' out a little more, how about? Zoe?”
She's just coming around the corner to see what the fuss is all about when Mal calls for her. One look at Wash and she's by his side, hands on his arm, just under a large scrape that's covered and packed with dirt and Wash doesn't want to know what else.
“What'd you do to the man, Mal?”
“What? I didn't do anything.” Mal crosses his arms while Wash happily moves into Zoe's embrace instead. He'd feel a lot more comforted if Zoe weren't quietly laughing.
“It stings,” Wash tells them both.
Zoe smooths down his hair. “Think Simon's put a med kit in the bathroom.” She's looking at Mal and he gets the order to go get it without needing the words spoken. Zoe guides Wash into the living room and down onto the sofa while Mal is gone. “Told you about wearing these shirts out there.” She settles in front of him on the coffee table and starts to work on getting the line of buttons undone so she can peel the shirt off him. It pulls at the numerous scrapes he's acquired and makes him hiss.
“It's not the shirts fault.” She drops the ruined shirt down on the floor. “It's the cows. And his.” He nods to Mal who's stepped back into the room, med kit, cloth and bowl of water in hand. Mal sits on the sofa beside Wash. Close, like he thinks Wash will try to get away. Wash would, if he thought the effort would be worth it.
Instead, he stays. Endures it while the pair of them clean him off and work out the dirt with teasers. He jumps and hisses and generally squirms until Mal huffs out a breath and tosses the cloth he's got down on the table, giving Wash a hard look.
“We gotta tie you down, boy? Stop squirmin'.”
“It hurts.”
Zoe's laughing at both of them. A second later and Mal joins in, laughing at his expense. And instead of anything else, it just feels good.
*
Wash hasn't thought about it much. Not to say he doesn't at all. Just prefers not to, even when there's times he can't help it. He knows none of them can. He wonders if it's worth trying to look for the other shuttle again. Send out signals and missing persons bulletins. They've done it all before but that was near on over a year ago. If Mal made it who's to say the others didn't? He doesn't bring it up for fear of being disappointed, of filling everyone with a hollow hope.
Might be that that's what some of them need, though.
It's late but even a year later and he hasn't broken the habit of needing to get up in the middle of the night to check on the bridge. Now he just gets tea instead and attempts not to miss the ship too badly. Something that's easier now he gets to fly again. Different kind of flying but...it's still flying. He still misses the Firefly sometimes. Now is the time that he's most likely to think on the missing shuttle and tonight he's not the only one.
He almost blunders right into it, Zoe and Mal sitting on the sofa and Zoe has her hands resting on Mal's shoulders. There's the familiar rise of jealousy, beaten down at a shaken breath, and he actually listens to the quiet words they're sharing.
“Feels like givin' up. They gotta be out there still.”
“We looked for months, Mal.”
Wash can't stay hidden in the doorway and steps forward, the slight noise as he sets his mug down attracts both their attention. “We can look again.”
They spend the rest of the night coming up with bulletins that are sent out the next day to every planet and moon they can reach.
*
The last of nine months and Wash realizes that he's never really encountered Zoe's temper before. He's not sure how Simon can put up with it, Zoe rages at the doctor more than any of them but all he does is takes it and somehow he even manages to calm her down. It's helpful when Wash needs a break and Mal is too busy hiding by working overtime at the ranch. Something Wash can't do since he's taken a leave of absence on his own job three weeks ago. To take care of Zoe, mostly he ends up doing housework and being bored. But Zoe's due any day now and there's no way he's going to chance missing it.
He's falling asleep in the living room now, middle of the day, and Zoe's somewhere in the back yard with River picking raspberries before the wasps get them. He gets shaken awake by Simon's hand on his shoulder and blinks up at the doctor.
“You don't need to sit around here, you know. You've hardly left the house for over a week. Go out. Nothing is going to happen to Zoe while you're gone. And for the love of god,” Simon goes on before Wash can protest, “take Mal with you. He worries more than you do and you're both starting to dive Zoe and I insane.”
It's how he winds up in a local bar, sitting with Mal over a few too many brews. Mal gets happy when he's drunk which is different. Wash expected him to get morose or something. Wash, he just gets giggly and Mal throws out stories and jokes and things Wash never knew about this man before.
Like childhood pranks among farmhands that'd raised him. Going through the same thing Wash had, being drug off a horse and through the mud. Wash still has a few barely noticeable scars from that ordeal. He laughs over it now. He's laughing over everything right now.
Mal has to prop him up on the walk back to their home. Or he's propping Mal up, he's not entirely sure. They're halfway back when the comm unit attached to Mal's belt beeps at them. Some habits don't die and wearing that unit is one of them, along with the holster. With Zoe being so close, Wash isn't complaining. He makes a grab for the comm before Mal can and nearly tumbles them both to the dusty ground when he misses.
Mal gets hold of it first, glaring at Wash as they gather themselves, and he speaks into it. "Uh...yeah?"
"You two need to get home. Now."
Wash grabs for the comm, earning a loud protest from Mal. "Zoe?"
"Went into labor twenty minutes ago. She's fine." Simon's voice holds the humor and his smile, he just knows that Mal and Wash's blood pressure just skyrocketed. "I just didn't think you'd want to miss it and I think she'd like you both here."
They don't need to be told more, running the rest of the way to their house, sober in the sudden excitement, though their feet still trip out from under them and Wash feels a giddy rush that makes him snort with laughter every time. Mal's just grinning in silence.
When they get there, it's a long wait. They stay through it, either side of Zoe and she's annoyed that they're drunk. Why drunk now? Do they really have that sort of timing? Mal tells her she should know by now that they do. It makes them special and that makes her smile.
Alliance chasing them has nothing on the stress of this. Reavers chasing them has nothing on the stress of this. It's exhausting and horrible and the best moment of his life. The best of Zoe's, even her exhaustion can't hide that and he did that. He put that look there. Him and Mal, who's still there with them and Wash is so excited that he doesn't even think about it, he just throws his arms around Mal. Zoe's watching them with tired pleasure, there's a baby crying that Simon's wrapping in blankets.
"A healthy boy," Simon says.
And Mal and Wash kiss without thinking twice about that.
*
Wash wakes up exhausted still and hungover. He remembers holding this tiny little life. He remembers Simon pushing both him and Mal out of the room so that Zoe could sleep. He vaguely remembers more drinking and that his hands wouldn't stop shaking.
He rolls over in the bed, eyes tightly closed. His lonely bed because Zoe is still in the room that Simon had set aside for this. She'd refused to go to a hospital, no need for it when they had a doctor right at home and she wasn't spending the best moment of her life in a sterile strange room. They'd all agreed.
His exhaustion only lasts another second before his eyes won't stay closed anymore and he has to get out of the bed. Headache be damned, he wants to go see Zoe. He wants to hug her, kiss her, tell her how much he loves her because he can't remember if he did any of those things yesterday.
He had kissed Mal, though.
When he gets there, Mal and Simon are already in, River as well. Zoe looks better, refreshed. There's a baby cradled in her arms. When Simon looks around and sees Wash standing there, he ushers the rest of them outside, Mal with only some complaints. Wash gives a thankful nod as Simon passes him, glad for the privacy.
"Hey, baby," he breathes out, surprised at the hint of relief in his voice that she's still fine. He does worry too much.
Her smile widens and she looks down at the bundle in her arm. "Don't think you can rightly call me that anymore, husband."
"I guess not." He laughs softly, quietly, so he doesn't disturb the real sleeping baby in her arms. "I don't mind," he continues as he settles carefully on the bed next to her, "Lambie-toes works just as well."
She leans into his side and he wraps his arm around her shoulders. He hugs her and he kisses her and he tells her just how much he loves her. They settle and stay silent for awhile before Wash breaks it.
“He needs a name.”
“I thought we were goin' with Hoban Junior?”
“You promised not to joke about that.” God he loves the sound of her laugh.
“Alright.” He loves the way her lips feel against his even better. “Hadyn.”
*
It's...not everything Wash had thought it would be. That's not to say it's bad, he doesn't for a second regret it. Maybe he wishes it would just stop for awhile but it's fleeting. He knew about 2 AM feedings and crying all night and never getting any time alone. Putting all of that into actual practice is a lot different.
He's tired and Zoe is tired. Simon is tired because Wash keeps going to him with everything that might possibly be wrong which ninety-ninety percent of the time turns out to be nothing at all. Mal is tired because he's working overtime since neither Wash or Zoe work. Two months later and he can probably pick the job up again, he just doesn't really want to. He might be missing flying again but he thinks he'd miss this more if he had to be gone for a week at a time.
Wash has fallen asleep with Hadyn on his chest on the living room sofa. Zoe's doing the book keeping that Mal has never been any good at while they take the nap. She can't stop casting glances at them from where's she's sitting at the desk in the corner. The sound of the door swinging shut too loudly doesn't have either him or Hadyn moving. It stirs Wash awake a bit but there's no way he's moving. He's comfortable, the baby is quiet. He'll yell at Mal later for being loud.
“Sorry.” Mal's apology says that Zoe is glaring at him as the man steps across the living room.
Wash should probably open his eyes and give away the fact that he's awake but he finds himself curious. He can feel the eyes on him.
“They look good.”
That isn't Zoe's voice and Wash has to clench his teeth together to stop himself asking what exactly Mal means by that. Something about a too excited kiss that's still fresh in his mind.
“That’s a fact.” It’s hard not to smile at how smug Zoe’s voice sounds. He can hear the creak as she gets up out of the chair. “Good enough to kiss even.”
“You’re talkin’ on…” Mal trails off and waits for Zoe to finish.
There’s no response or at least not one that Wash can hear. Mal’s response is pretty explosive though. “That was…! It was… That was a heat of the moment thing, Zo’, not to mention drunk. Guessin’ he won’t appreciate it I go tryin’ that again.”
Silence again and Wash chances cracking his eyes open enough to see Zoe walking out of the room, leaving Mal behind. When Mal turns and their eyes catch, Mal couldn’t have a more caught out looking expression. Wash glances down to Hadyn, can’t risk moving, then back to Mal.
“Do you want to try it again?” More to the point, did Zoe?
Mal just stares at him, something in his gaze that… Zoe’s voice comes through from the hall. She never left after all. “Not gonna get a better chance, Mal.”
And Wash, he can’t even get up when Mal steps across, pinned under Hadyn and there isn’t much chance to think anyway before Mal’s there. Mal’s lips are there.
Then Jayne is there. Wash has never actually heard Zoe scream before.
*
It was a cruiser that had picked them up and taken them in. Hauled them all back to the Alliance, and thank whatever that they had found the shuttle with Inara in it. Wash doesn't want to know what would have happened if they'd come across a dead shuttle full of Simon and River. It's not a possibility that had even occurred to him at the time and he's glad.
Inara's presence in the shuttle meant the four got the help they needed. A carefully fabricated story told by her and they'd got transport onto the Core planet Sihnon.
“A gorramn week at that training house an' I had to get out. Not one 'a them whore's would even look at me.”
Simon clears his throat, “I believe the term is Companion.”
The doctor is acting smooth but there's been this fine tremor to his hands ever since he saw Jayne and realized that if Jayne were here, the others had to have survived as well. Kaylee had to be fine. Simon can hardly keep his anticipation in check and he isn't the only one.
“An' I believe we're getting off the subject of the story,” Mal breaks in before Jayne and Simon can go off into the snipping match that's brewing. He's got Hadyn in his lap, holding the baby who's eying Jayne with something like suspicion. Or curiosity. Or there's a piece of lint in the air, Wash is never sure. Wash has to lean over to distract Hadyn, which distracts Mal. Wash doesn't know how to decipher that look either.
“To get down to the real reason of why we're all here... Why are you here? How did you find us?” Wash puts everyone's attention back on Jayne.
Jayne shrugs. “Got out of the Central planets 'n started lookin' for work again. Girls had started lookin' for ya. Told 'em it was pointless-”
“Thanks for the vote of faith.”
“But they said y' had t' be out there. Damn near spit my drink out when I got hold a' one of them bulletins you been putting out.”
“Where are they then? Where's Kaylee?” Simon can't hold it back anymore.
“I'm getting' to it.” Jayne sneers. He takes his time draining his coffee first and making Simon's glare deepen. When Mal sighs pointedly, Jayne goes back to talking. “They're coming. Sent 'em a wave but they're further off 'n I was. Gotta pick up the Shepard from the Abbey, too.”
“So a few days and family reunion! We should probably...I dunno, get some food in the fridge or something?”
“It's been your turn for the grocery shopping for the last three days, dear.”
“Has it?”
“But I guess I can see fit to help out. Mal?”
“I got the kids.”
Simon rolls his eyes at the reference, used by now to the offhanded teasing Mal dishes out to all of them. River just folds herself down cross-legged on the floor in front of Mal and those eyes say she's waiting for a story. Jayne just doesn't notice and Wash clasps his hand over the big man's shoulder briefly as he and Zoe step by.
“Good to have you back.” Jayne grunts at him, but Wash doesn't miss the small smile.
Zoe follows him outside and they get on their shiny new mule that's just a little less beat up than the old one. Wash gets a bit of a thrill thinking of the things he and Kaylee will be able to trick it out with when she gets back.
“Wow,” he says out loud after they've already been on the road for a minute.
Zoe leans against his back, chin pressing over his shoulder. “Wow?”
“Yeah, I think it just kinda kicked in that they're actually...coming back.”
“Second best thing I've heard in awhile.” He doesn't need to ask to know that the first best thing is probably still being cradled and fussed over by Mal. Speaking of-
“Also wow Mal kissed me. Again.”
“Really you started the first one.”
“And you telling him to.”
“Guess that's worth a bit of a 'wow'.”
She's in one of those moods where she's not going to answer any question but the right one. His woman's got a bit of a wicked streak to her and even over the grumble of the mule's engine, he can hear the humor. He pulls the mule off to the side and glares at her through the dust the wheels kick up.
“Why did you tell Mal to kiss me?” Plainly the oddest sentence that he's ever spoken.
“Because he's lonely, you're still feeling threatened, and I'm tired of all the bickering.”
The problem with asking a straight question is that he always gets a blunt answer in return, full of truths that he can't hide from.
“We don't bicker.” She stares him down. “We fight. It's more manly.”
“Honey.” He knows that tone too well. The stop making jokes tone. He wanted to talk about this so that's what they were going to do. “Ever since Mal got here you've had your back up.”
“Not so much now.”
“But still. Afraid he'll take your place.”
“He almost did.” They'd already had to move locations once because of Mal.
“I figured we should give him a new place. Something else instead of fighting.” She smiles as she concedes the smallest point to him. “A place with us.”
There came the punch line.
*
Maybe he could have used a week away on a ship right then to think it all through. The other shuttle has been found and in two days time, this house is going to be full. Overly so, Mal has already started talking about building another with help from the ranch hands. They're alive, all of them, and that's gotta be some kind of miracle.
But the thing that he really should have needed to let sink in even more than that: his wife wants to give Mal a place. With them. And Wash isn't even objecting to it.
He doesn't need to think about it. Mal is the only one still in the living room when they get back and with one look, Wash doesn't need to think about it.
“Hey Mal.” Wash steps into the room and glances around.
“Hadyn's asleep.”
“Good. Makes this a lot easier.”
He leans down and kisses Mal. This time there's nothing to distract them, just Zoe watching across the room. She looks satisfied, Wash knows because that's how she's looked ever since he couldn't say no. A second of surprise and Mal is clinging to him with a hand clasped against the back of his neck. Like a lifeline.
Wash gets it now. This whole crew - family - is a lifeline and without Mal, they never would have been able to get it back. That death can mean change as well.
--
Originally written as a Sweet Charity fic for invisibleshrew but I misinterpreted the prompt "The first time Mal thumped Wash" as "The first time Mal humped Wash". And then it just became a story. Saddly, with no humping going on.
It's more pre-Mal/Wash/Zoe than anything. An AU from Out of Gas. Character death warning? Rating...ah...PG-13. Length 8300 words. Roughly.
Beta'd by the amazing sarahetc.
Red Sky
They've picked up the shattered pieces and moved on. There's not much else they could have done. There's times Wash even thinks it's better like this. Not always on the run. Life sure goes a lot smoother when none of them are getting shot at on a regular basis.
The fact that there's a lot less of 'them' than there should be? Wash always feels guilty for thinking it.
But Zoe's been bringing up kids again and Wash doesn't really have any reason to say no. So they've been trying and a week ago.... Well, hell, Wash is going to be a dad. It's hard not to like the way things are now.
Simon's the one that told him, a big grin on the doctor's face. It took awhile but Wash has noticed the change--Simon has never looked so relaxed.
"Congratulations," he tells Wash and shakes Wash's hand like the doctor he's been able to become again. He's got a small practice here. The locals of the small settlement all know him, just like he knows all of them. He's the only doctor for a hundred miles and they all love him for it.
Fact is, they all have good jobs here. Zoe works along side the local law enforcement, what there is of them. A sheriff and a couple appointed citizens. Not many around here have had much run in with someone like her and there hasn't been much in the way of trouble since they signed her on.
Even River helps out. She likes the gardens, all the fresh produce that's grown at the greenhouses on the edge of the town, and the worker's welcome her in and show her the ropes. They teach her how to grow some of the biggest tomatoes this side of the verse. In return for her work, she brings home fresh vegetables and fruit every week.
Of course, Wash makes himself useful as well. He finds himself working a lot of the maintenance jobs through the town. He always has been good with his hands and repairing things like well pumps forces him to learn a lot of new stuff, so the job doesn't get old. He's something of an apprentice under the settlement's aging handy man.
Sure, he misses flying sometimes. It's like a bone deep ache in him some days but he pushes by it. Six months after the accident and it's not so bad anymore. He imagines that in another six months, he won't even think about it.
Zoe's arms wrap around him from behind. He jumps, the way he always does, and it makes her laugh, which makes him smile. He's watching the sun go down, a sight he's still not entirely used to, and she watches with him for a few minutes in silence.
It's River that breaks it and they both turn to her. "Death happens on red."
She's been better but not better. She still says things that make Wash's stomach sink. Things that should be staying firmly in the past, to a life and a ship that they've all left behind.
Not so much left behind as just couldn't find, though. They looked, searched that sector of space for weeks, looking for any sign of Serenity or the other shuttle. Scoured the Cortex searching for some report but there was never anything. Space is too big and the ship's too small. Wash figured Serenity had probably been picked apart by scavengers by now, a thought that leaves a sour taste in his mouth. The same sort of thing they used to do to the derelict ships they found.
"What's that, sweetie?" Wash asks River. She's staring out the window as the last of the color vanish from the skyline.
"A red sky."
Zoe lets go of Wash to step up to the girl as a distraught look passes over her face but she's already backing away from them, turning and running from the room. She's going to the gardens, they both know it as they watch her leave the room.
Wash sighs and steps forward. "I'll get Simon."
He doesn't get more than a couple steps towards Simon's room when the radio transmitter in the corner of their common room goes off with a burst of static.
"Zoe, you there? We need you in town. Now."
The unmasked urgency to the voice has Wash's stomach doing a turn. Zoe's reaching to answer it but Wash's hand closes over her wrist. He still gets worried when she goes out. River's premonitions still scare him.
"Maybe you should stay here tonight."
She rolls her eyes at him. "Honey... Last time they called me into town it was to stop a couple drunken ben dan from disturbin' the peace." She gives him a pointed look. "An' one of 'em was you."
"Yeah, well..."
"Don't let River get to you. Been over a month since I've even had to draw a gun."
He lets her go reluctantly.
*
Wash has met a lot of people since they've settled here. They all have. At times Wash thinks the folk are a little too accepting, a little too trustworthy. They've never been given much reason not to be that way, though, and within the first month, Wash thought this really could be heaven. Maybe they had died on that shuttle, after all.
It's all still too vivid in his mind. They'd had to power the shuttle down, drift through space to conserve the last of the fuel, to keep the oxygen circulating and the heat. They turned the heat down as much as they could and little River couldn't stop shivering.
Zoe wasn't waking up.
The beacon was going strong as he could make it, radar searching the black for signs of anything.
River had fallen asleep when Simon came up to sit with him, hand resting on his shoulder but Wash didn't know what to say, sure didn't expect the doctor to.
Mal would be dead by now, with no call to come back. There hadn't been any miracle there. They could only hope the other shuttle was fairing better.
When he'd drifted off, he was brought back by Simon's frantic voice.
"There's someone. There's someone there. Wash. Wash, we're saved."
He remembers that moment more vividly than any of the others. Moments of pure joy like he's never felt before. They were found. They got help. A crew of a small transport ship that took them on board and took them to Harvest, the planet they were settled on now. The crew had been making a routine pass between worlds, picking up goods and doing some trading. They'd been the first to welcome all of them into this town.
He's got Simon with him again now, sitting in the common room. Simon's reading some text. He buys them occasionally when something good comes in at the junk store in town. They have a little bit of everything and since Simon's shown up they get the occasional medical text just for him. Wash bets Simon knows most of them by heart; he reads and rereads them.
Wash is staring out the window again, it's all black now. He can see the stars clear and blanketing the sky. There's not much light pollution here. Everything is shut down at night to save as much energy as possible and there's only the occasional street light to show someone the way.
Wash can't see into town from here anyway, they're too far onto the outskirts. His fingers tap against his knee and he's worrying too much, he knows. Zoe is right and the odds of anything happening out there beyond some minor disturbance are null. Still, old habits die hard and he's always going to worry about her.
"Wash."
He looks from the window to find that Simon has been watching him, small amused smile on his face.
"You really can relax."
"Look who this is coming from. I'll relax when Zoe is home. Got twice the reason to worry now."
Simon's smile grows and he sets the medical text down. "I guess so. We're going to have to figure out a way to get her to stay home in a few months from now."
"Or now. Getting her to stay home now would be good." He doesn't want to take any chances,not with Zoe, not with the baby.
Simon watches him for a minute again before getting to his feet. "Come on. I never bought you a celebratory drink."
Wash grins, nodding agreement, even if he knows what Simon is really trying to do. Get him out of the house and stop him worrying so much about Zoe. Wash doesn't have the heart to tell Simon that it's not going to work.
They grab jackets and head out of the house, after Simon has checked in on River to make sure she's soundly sleeping. That's another thing, Simon isn't afraid to leave River on her own. There's not much trouble to get into her here and none of the townsfolk would hurt her. If anything, they'd call Simon and tell him not to worry when they saw her.
They walk down the dusty dark road, not needing light to know the way to the small pub. It's only open for another hour, even the drinking establishment has a habit of closing early here as it's not even midnight by this planet's time. They'll still get their drink and maybe they'll run into Zoe.
They find her. Not a scratch on her from what Wash can tell but the tension still races through him. Not fear. Anger. She's sitting in the pub, at the bar and there's a drink in her hand.
"Zoe! What in dì yù do you think you're doing?" He's up behind her and grabs her arm, upsetting her grip on the drink so that it falls to the bar and spills clear liquid everywhere. Water.
Her hand is on her gun, instinct that won't ever leave no matter how relaxed they can be here. She stops when she sees it's him and the look on her face is like nothing he's ever seen before.
Mal is sitting next to her.
*
He almost died. They shot him and tried to steal the ship but he showed them a thing or two. You don't mess with Mal, Wash has learned that lesson a time or two over. He tried to call them back but never made it and figured he was done for.
What are the odds of two ships picking up that signal?
Wash doesn't know but it happened. It barely sinks in. Mal is sitting with them in their common room. Wash has a rapidly cooling cup of coffee in his hands and Zoe is sitting next to him, her hand on his arm.
When Mal stepped in with them, River only greeted him with a smile and a welcome back.
"Been lookin'. Working a bit but mostly lookin'. Got wind a few folks stranded in space had been brought here and thought I might get lucky."
There's hugs and reminiscing and all the good stuff. All the while, Wash can't help thinking at the back of his mind; Why now? Why when everything is perfect. And he remembers what River said and there's always something to what that girl says.
"Got a job here, too." He looks to Zoe with a grin. "What do y' say, Zo'? Could be fun."
"No."
They all turn to look at Wash as he firmly answers for Zoe.
"No?" Zoe echoes him but he's staring Mal down.
"We don't do jobs like that anymore. We have a legitimate home here and you're not coming in to ruin it for us."
Mal looks as shocked as Wash has ever seen the man before, looking to Zoe and then to him, letting out an incredulous laugh. "Ain't here for that. It's a simple job, no trouble caused."
"Right. And how many times have you said that before?" Mal doesn't really have an answer to that. "Mal, I'm glad you're here. Glad you're alive, really, I am. But you can't come in here and expect Zoe to go waltzing off-"
"Wash," Zoe's warning is soft but enough to stop him.
"You're not gonna say yes." She hesitates. He can see the desire to follow the captain. Or maybe it's just a yearning for some action the way he gets the yearning to fly sometimes. "You're rutting pregnant, Zoe."
Mal's shocked gaze snaps to Zoe. "You're what?"
There's more explaining to do after that and by the time they all turn in for the night, Wash gets the feeling that it's all still up in the air. He holds Zoe close in the large double bed. He still can't quite wrap his mind around the fact that Mal is sleeping on the couch in the the common room.
Zoe turns into him and rests her head down against his chest. "Looked everywhere for him."
"We looked for all of them. There was no sign, Zo', no way we could have known." She doesn't answer him. "What happens now?"
She looks up, a bit of a frown though she's smiling. "We go to sleep."
And they'll figure it out in the morning.
Wash makes sure that he's the first one up, slipping carefully from the bed. Zoe doesn't stir the way she used to, years ago when they first started sharing a bed. She's used to him moving about in the night, she doesn't jump to attention now.
He's not all that surprised to find that Mal's awake, that the man has raided their kitchen. He has a bowl of dry cereal in front of him and coffee brewing. Wash crosses his arms and feels himself bristling. He should be glad Mal is back and alive, that not all of the others had to die that day. All he gets is the sense that Mal is intruding.
"See you made yourself at home."
Mal smiles at him and Wash pauses before relaxing a bit and coming into the room to sit at the table as well. "Got hungry. Put the coffee on, if y' want any." Mal eyes Wash for a moment. "Don't mind, do you?"
"No." He takes a deep breath and goes ahead. "What I mind is you coming back here and thinking you can expect us all to fall back into line. You're not my captain anymore, Mal, and I'm not getting back on any ship with you. I'm not being a thief again. And I'm pretty sure the others would agree."
That's a lie. He knows Simon would agree. He never knows what River is going to do next and Zoe... Zoe's still a soldier. And he can already see it in her eyes, that she's faithful to Mal.
Mal swallows his mouthful of cereal deliberately. "Wasn't plannin' on none of that, Wash."
"I don't want Zoe getting hurt."
"Last thing I'm wantin', too."
*
It might be the last thing Mal is wanting but it's the first thing he manages to do.
Mal and Zoe slip out of the house the next night. Wash doesn't notice until he rolls over into Zoe's spot and she's been sleeping there for too long without deviation for his sleeping mind not to notice the difference. He's awake a few minutes later, rolling out of the bed to check the kitchen for her.
She's not there. He checks the common room and grits his teeth when he finds the Mal is gone from the couch.
Stomping around the house looking has woken Simon as well and Wash catches sight of the man poking his head through his bedroom door, hair a mess and looking at Wash with a blurred gaze.
"Wash? What's going on?"
"Mal and Zoe are gone." He lets out a harsh breath, a shake of his head. "Can't believe she went with that hundan."
He can see Simon searching for words that he doesn't believe in. "I'm sure they're just... Mal isn't going to put Zoe in any danger."
Wash presses fingers to his forehead. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure." He's sure that Mal wouldn't knowingly put Zoe in any danger. But things have this way of happening around Mal, trouble follows him. "Think I might just go follow them anyway."
"You don't even know where they went."
"Are you coming?"
Simon hesitates. "Yes."
*
They've all gotten close over the months. The four of them. Wash doesn't hesitate to call them all family. His kid is going to grow up calling Simon 'uncle'.
It hits him as being selfish, that he's looking at Mal like an outsider and an intruder. Bringing the trouble back to a life they've managed to carve out. All he remembers though, is guns and running and suicidal plans. Now Wash has a baby coming, something he never would have wanted if he'd thought this old life was going to make a reappearance. Something it's done in spades with Mal showing up on their doorstep.
Zoe had cried. He'd seen the dried tracks over her cheeks when he'd found them in the bar. The look he'd seen on her had been relief and joy, all rolled up, like he's never been able to bring her on this moon. The closest he's come to seeing that look was when she broke the news to him that she was pregnant.
He and Simon are jogging into the town, it's past midnight and there's hardly a light on, other than the three street lamps that are spaced out along the main road. There's only a couple of lights on from the houses of people still awake.
When a gunshot comes out of that black, Wash's heart jumps up into his throat, the feeling so familiar he has to fight back the urge to heave, swallowing hard.
"Wáng bā dàn."
Simon's hand grips at his arm, long fingers pinch the fabric of his shirt. Then Simon's tugging at him and they're both running. "It came from here."
It's all too familiar. The rush of adrenaline, packed in with fear. Their feet pound against the dirt road and Wash thinks he's racing head first into his worst nightmare. Maybe not quite his worst, he's sure that's Zoe running towards them. Mal is right behind her. They have guns drawn.
They meet, Zoe grabs his arm and hauls him around, his feet stumble under him and then he's running along side her. Mal pulls a similar move on Simon. Wash goes near a hundred yards before he's skidding to a halt, fast enough that Zoe is jerked to one next to him and Simon nearly runs into his back.
“Stop. What the hell is going on?”
Mal's giving him that irritated look he used to get. The one that says he's the captain so don't question him. Except he's not anymore and Wash always questioned him anyway. After a moment of Wash not looking away, Mal does, almost looking guilty.
And Wash doesn't really need it explained. They're about to get uprooted from their quiet life and shoved back into Mal's. The shouts stir all four of them back to life and Zoe gets Wash running again. Hopefully unseen, hopefully with enough time to gather River and jump into whatever piece of go se ship Mal's got his hands on this time.
*
It's not Serenity. Close but not.
Wash doesn't wait to for Mal to order him--he's up to the bridge. Simon's got River in tow and she's grinning, for some unknown reason. If both Zoe and River are wanting to go with Mal back to this, to being on the run, Wash and Simon may as well give it up and agree now.
The ship shakes more than Serenity ever did. More beat up but Wash's skills are rusty as well. Wash can't help it, he feels the ship rise up, artificial gravity kicking in as the engines thrust them, more powerful than he'd have guessed, to the sky, and he feels a rush of excitement.
I'm flying, I'm flying. And the controls feel good under his hands. He's forgotten what it felt like, the intimacy of it, being able to control something this powerful, having it respond to the slightest nudge from his fingers. It's easy to get lost in it, to keep flying even when they're out in the black, when he could flick the auto-pilot on and step away. He forgets why he was angry and the only thing going through his mind with his hands tight on the yoke is; Why did I ever give this up?
Then Zoe comes onto the bridge. He can tell even through her looser shirt that she's starting to show now, everyone is going to know that there's this little person in there. Mal is right behind her.
Wash sighs, abandoning the good feelings of flying as he flips the auto-pilot on and turns to them. Mal speaks before he can question, looking pleased enough at a job done well, which is any one they walk away from.
“Plot a course t-”
“No.”
“No?” Mal looks surprised but Wash gets to his feet, determined, even at Zoe's hand on his arm, attempting to stop him.
“You're not my captain, Mal. And this isn't my job anymore.”
“Wash, honey.” Zoe shakes her head for him to stop again and the look on her face pulls him up short. She doesn't look at Mal when she tells him to leave. And she doesn't call him 'captain' or 'sir'. Just tells him to get off the bridge and he listens to her.
Once he's gone, Zoe grips at Wash's arms, maneuvering him backwards until his knees catch at the pilot's seat and it's easy for her to push him down on it. He's not resisting her anyways and, a second later, she's down on his lap and his arms are around her waist. She's not letting either of them have any distance and that alone is enough to loosen the knot that's taken up residence in his chest.
“What are you doing?” His voice pleads with her to tell him.
She rests her forehead against his and takes a deep breath. “Can't tell me you don't...miss some of this.” There's a hopeful note to her tone, a faint touch of the wistful.
Wash hesitates. Does he miss any of this? He never thought on it much because he never expected it to come back. He misses the flying, he can admit to that without hesitation. But the rest of it... “I don't know. I thought you were happy?”
“I am, baby.” But she doesn't give anything to back that up, doesn't give him any reason to think that she's telling the truth.
“Am I not enough? You gotta go back to where Mal is?” He feels the old doubts rising back up in him. He doesn't miss this. The knowing that he's right about them. Knowing that neither of them will admit to it when it would be so much easier if they did. Wash isn't enough to make Zoe happy on his own, it doesn't matter what he does. But Mal isn't enough, either.
“It ain't like that, Wash, don't start with this again.”
“Then what is it like? You wanna risk everything to do what Mal says?” Risk their baby and their lives and the new family they built. “I can't do this again, Zoe. I can't live like that.”
“An' you're not gonna have to.” They both turn to find that Mal has been listening.
*
They set the ship down on Boros and Mal sells it. Takes the coin he gets and buys a house. A small homestead that's surrounded with fields. Giving them the illusion of privacy, of having their own little world which Wash thinks is more for Mal's benefit than anything else. He's always needed to have his own piece of the 'verse.
It's almost good. Mal gets himself straight, he finds a job to help with bills, running cattle on the neighboring ranch. He's hired before any of the others manage it. There's not as much call for doctors or handy men here but River manages a place in the local school, assisting whatever teachers need it.
The tension doesn't leave. Not a week later, or a month. Not when Simon replaces an older doctor at the clinic or when Wash catches a job running transport and he's gone for a week at a time. He doesn't trust what's going on during that week he's gone. Zoe gets further along and he and Mal convince her that working can wait, just for now. Sort of convince. She insists she's doing something, not sitting around being waited on. Never was something she could stomach. She joins Mal on the ranch and that's good enough for Wash, at least she's not handling a gun and that's one less thing to worry about.
After awhile, Wash starts to think that he worries too much. They've fallen into routine, things get back to comfortable, Mal doesn't try to push. Wash even starts to enjoy spending time with him again.
He's on a two week leave when Mal corners him in the living room, tossing a pair of thick gloves onto Wash's lap that make him jump and almost spill his morning coffee. He shoots Mal a baffled look but the man's just grinning at him. Wash knows immediately that he's up to something.
“...What?”
“We need us an extra hand at the ranch. Thought I'd volunteer you.”
Wash's eyes shoot open wide. “Mal... Can you see me tryin' to herd a bunch of cows? You remember last time? I was sitting on that fence for a reason. Getting trampled isn't high on my list of things to do.”
Mal looks more pleased with himself. “No herding, I promise.”
“I'm not cleaning up after them this time, either.”
Mal rolls his eyes and gestures Wash to get up. “Quit whinging an' come on. You need some sun anyway. Startin' to look like Simon.”
“Hey!” The doctor pipes up from where he's been reading a morning bulletin quietly in the corner. Wash has to smile at the false indignation on his face.
“Come on, Wash. We're late, Zoe's already out there.”
Wash sighs as he gives in and gets to his feet. There's some arguments that he just can't win and he can tell that going to Simon for backup isn't going to work with the doctor smirking at him like that.
“Have fun,” Simon imparts to them as they leave.
They climb through the barbed wire fence lining the ranch property to take the short cut across the fields. Wash trips on nothing while batting at grasshoppers, yelping outright when one almost rockets up into his face. Mal's hands on his shoulders steady him when Wash would have fallen over in his bid to get away.
“So,” Wash starts once they're walking normally again and Mal has stopped laughing at him, “Why'd you really ask me out here?”
Mal shrugs, looking awkward like he does whenever he's asked to bring up feelings. “Gettin' the sense you still don't like my being here.”
How is Wash supposed to come up with an answer to that? He doesn't, just keeps walking and stares resolutely down at the tall grass.
“I didn't show up looking for trouble. Just my crew.”
“We're not crew.” Wash hates the way his voice sounds so bitter.
“Family then.”
Which they are, and Wash doesn't have the right to keep Mal out of that. He finds he doesn't want to, either, and smiles at the man.
*
It's easier after that. Wash stops being suspicious that Mal is going to uproot them again just when they really start settling in. Zoe finally takes leave at the ranch, almost eight months along now. Simon spends a lot of his time with her and River can be caught hovering around her on most days as well, curious. Wash goes out with Mal to the ranch more often and learns some of the ropes on the days they can't do without that one extra hand. Turns out he's got a bit of skill with roping calves.
It also turns out that calves are a lot stronger than him and the one time he's not fast enough to wrap his end of the rope around his horses saddle horn, is the time he gets drug half-way across the dirt pen before either the calf stops or he gets the sense to let go of the rope. He hit the ground hard enough to knock the wind out of him and he's honestly not sure. He also learns why everyone else wears thick shirts and not Hawaiian shirts.
Mal takes him back home, wincing all the way, scraped and bruised.
“I told you, Mal. I told you I am not a cow person. We just don't get along because of the differences of opinion.” His complaining is drawing the attention of the others in the house, just Zoe while Simon and River go about their own day. “See, I want them to stand still and they want to kill me.”
Mal rolls his eyes. “Yeah, lets try that exaggeratin' out a little more, how about? Zoe?”
She's just coming around the corner to see what the fuss is all about when Mal calls for her. One look at Wash and she's by his side, hands on his arm, just under a large scrape that's covered and packed with dirt and Wash doesn't want to know what else.
“What'd you do to the man, Mal?”
“What? I didn't do anything.” Mal crosses his arms while Wash happily moves into Zoe's embrace instead. He'd feel a lot more comforted if Zoe weren't quietly laughing.
“It stings,” Wash tells them both.
Zoe smooths down his hair. “Think Simon's put a med kit in the bathroom.” She's looking at Mal and he gets the order to go get it without needing the words spoken. Zoe guides Wash into the living room and down onto the sofa while Mal is gone. “Told you about wearing these shirts out there.” She settles in front of him on the coffee table and starts to work on getting the line of buttons undone so she can peel the shirt off him. It pulls at the numerous scrapes he's acquired and makes him hiss.
“It's not the shirts fault.” She drops the ruined shirt down on the floor. “It's the cows. And his.” He nods to Mal who's stepped back into the room, med kit, cloth and bowl of water in hand. Mal sits on the sofa beside Wash. Close, like he thinks Wash will try to get away. Wash would, if he thought the effort would be worth it.
Instead, he stays. Endures it while the pair of them clean him off and work out the dirt with teasers. He jumps and hisses and generally squirms until Mal huffs out a breath and tosses the cloth he's got down on the table, giving Wash a hard look.
“We gotta tie you down, boy? Stop squirmin'.”
“It hurts.”
Zoe's laughing at both of them. A second later and Mal joins in, laughing at his expense. And instead of anything else, it just feels good.
*
Wash hasn't thought about it much. Not to say he doesn't at all. Just prefers not to, even when there's times he can't help it. He knows none of them can. He wonders if it's worth trying to look for the other shuttle again. Send out signals and missing persons bulletins. They've done it all before but that was near on over a year ago. If Mal made it who's to say the others didn't? He doesn't bring it up for fear of being disappointed, of filling everyone with a hollow hope.
Might be that that's what some of them need, though.
It's late but even a year later and he hasn't broken the habit of needing to get up in the middle of the night to check on the bridge. Now he just gets tea instead and attempts not to miss the ship too badly. Something that's easier now he gets to fly again. Different kind of flying but...it's still flying. He still misses the Firefly sometimes. Now is the time that he's most likely to think on the missing shuttle and tonight he's not the only one.
He almost blunders right into it, Zoe and Mal sitting on the sofa and Zoe has her hands resting on Mal's shoulders. There's the familiar rise of jealousy, beaten down at a shaken breath, and he actually listens to the quiet words they're sharing.
“Feels like givin' up. They gotta be out there still.”
“We looked for months, Mal.”
Wash can't stay hidden in the doorway and steps forward, the slight noise as he sets his mug down attracts both their attention. “We can look again.”
They spend the rest of the night coming up with bulletins that are sent out the next day to every planet and moon they can reach.
*
The last of nine months and Wash realizes that he's never really encountered Zoe's temper before. He's not sure how Simon can put up with it, Zoe rages at the doctor more than any of them but all he does is takes it and somehow he even manages to calm her down. It's helpful when Wash needs a break and Mal is too busy hiding by working overtime at the ranch. Something Wash can't do since he's taken a leave of absence on his own job three weeks ago. To take care of Zoe, mostly he ends up doing housework and being bored. But Zoe's due any day now and there's no way he's going to chance missing it.
He's falling asleep in the living room now, middle of the day, and Zoe's somewhere in the back yard with River picking raspberries before the wasps get them. He gets shaken awake by Simon's hand on his shoulder and blinks up at the doctor.
“You don't need to sit around here, you know. You've hardly left the house for over a week. Go out. Nothing is going to happen to Zoe while you're gone. And for the love of god,” Simon goes on before Wash can protest, “take Mal with you. He worries more than you do and you're both starting to dive Zoe and I insane.”
It's how he winds up in a local bar, sitting with Mal over a few too many brews. Mal gets happy when he's drunk which is different. Wash expected him to get morose or something. Wash, he just gets giggly and Mal throws out stories and jokes and things Wash never knew about this man before.
Like childhood pranks among farmhands that'd raised him. Going through the same thing Wash had, being drug off a horse and through the mud. Wash still has a few barely noticeable scars from that ordeal. He laughs over it now. He's laughing over everything right now.
Mal has to prop him up on the walk back to their home. Or he's propping Mal up, he's not entirely sure. They're halfway back when the comm unit attached to Mal's belt beeps at them. Some habits don't die and wearing that unit is one of them, along with the holster. With Zoe being so close, Wash isn't complaining. He makes a grab for the comm before Mal can and nearly tumbles them both to the dusty ground when he misses.
Mal gets hold of it first, glaring at Wash as they gather themselves, and he speaks into it. "Uh...yeah?"
"You two need to get home. Now."
Wash grabs for the comm, earning a loud protest from Mal. "Zoe?"
"Went into labor twenty minutes ago. She's fine." Simon's voice holds the humor and his smile, he just knows that Mal and Wash's blood pressure just skyrocketed. "I just didn't think you'd want to miss it and I think she'd like you both here."
They don't need to be told more, running the rest of the way to their house, sober in the sudden excitement, though their feet still trip out from under them and Wash feels a giddy rush that makes him snort with laughter every time. Mal's just grinning in silence.
When they get there, it's a long wait. They stay through it, either side of Zoe and she's annoyed that they're drunk. Why drunk now? Do they really have that sort of timing? Mal tells her she should know by now that they do. It makes them special and that makes her smile.
Alliance chasing them has nothing on the stress of this. Reavers chasing them has nothing on the stress of this. It's exhausting and horrible and the best moment of his life. The best of Zoe's, even her exhaustion can't hide that and he did that. He put that look there. Him and Mal, who's still there with them and Wash is so excited that he doesn't even think about it, he just throws his arms around Mal. Zoe's watching them with tired pleasure, there's a baby crying that Simon's wrapping in blankets.
"A healthy boy," Simon says.
And Mal and Wash kiss without thinking twice about that.
*
Wash wakes up exhausted still and hungover. He remembers holding this tiny little life. He remembers Simon pushing both him and Mal out of the room so that Zoe could sleep. He vaguely remembers more drinking and that his hands wouldn't stop shaking.
He rolls over in the bed, eyes tightly closed. His lonely bed because Zoe is still in the room that Simon had set aside for this. She'd refused to go to a hospital, no need for it when they had a doctor right at home and she wasn't spending the best moment of her life in a sterile strange room. They'd all agreed.
His exhaustion only lasts another second before his eyes won't stay closed anymore and he has to get out of the bed. Headache be damned, he wants to go see Zoe. He wants to hug her, kiss her, tell her how much he loves her because he can't remember if he did any of those things yesterday.
He had kissed Mal, though.
When he gets there, Mal and Simon are already in, River as well. Zoe looks better, refreshed. There's a baby cradled in her arms. When Simon looks around and sees Wash standing there, he ushers the rest of them outside, Mal with only some complaints. Wash gives a thankful nod as Simon passes him, glad for the privacy.
"Hey, baby," he breathes out, surprised at the hint of relief in his voice that she's still fine. He does worry too much.
Her smile widens and she looks down at the bundle in her arm. "Don't think you can rightly call me that anymore, husband."
"I guess not." He laughs softly, quietly, so he doesn't disturb the real sleeping baby in her arms. "I don't mind," he continues as he settles carefully on the bed next to her, "Lambie-toes works just as well."
She leans into his side and he wraps his arm around her shoulders. He hugs her and he kisses her and he tells her just how much he loves her. They settle and stay silent for awhile before Wash breaks it.
“He needs a name.”
“I thought we were goin' with Hoban Junior?”
“You promised not to joke about that.” God he loves the sound of her laugh.
“Alright.” He loves the way her lips feel against his even better. “Hadyn.”
*
It's...not everything Wash had thought it would be. That's not to say it's bad, he doesn't for a second regret it. Maybe he wishes it would just stop for awhile but it's fleeting. He knew about 2 AM feedings and crying all night and never getting any time alone. Putting all of that into actual practice is a lot different.
He's tired and Zoe is tired. Simon is tired because Wash keeps going to him with everything that might possibly be wrong which ninety-ninety percent of the time turns out to be nothing at all. Mal is tired because he's working overtime since neither Wash or Zoe work. Two months later and he can probably pick the job up again, he just doesn't really want to. He might be missing flying again but he thinks he'd miss this more if he had to be gone for a week at a time.
Wash has fallen asleep with Hadyn on his chest on the living room sofa. Zoe's doing the book keeping that Mal has never been any good at while they take the nap. She can't stop casting glances at them from where's she's sitting at the desk in the corner. The sound of the door swinging shut too loudly doesn't have either him or Hadyn moving. It stirs Wash awake a bit but there's no way he's moving. He's comfortable, the baby is quiet. He'll yell at Mal later for being loud.
“Sorry.” Mal's apology says that Zoe is glaring at him as the man steps across the living room.
Wash should probably open his eyes and give away the fact that he's awake but he finds himself curious. He can feel the eyes on him.
“They look good.”
That isn't Zoe's voice and Wash has to clench his teeth together to stop himself asking what exactly Mal means by that. Something about a too excited kiss that's still fresh in his mind.
“That’s a fact.” It’s hard not to smile at how smug Zoe’s voice sounds. He can hear the creak as she gets up out of the chair. “Good enough to kiss even.”
“You’re talkin’ on…” Mal trails off and waits for Zoe to finish.
There’s no response or at least not one that Wash can hear. Mal’s response is pretty explosive though. “That was…! It was… That was a heat of the moment thing, Zo’, not to mention drunk. Guessin’ he won’t appreciate it I go tryin’ that again.”
Silence again and Wash chances cracking his eyes open enough to see Zoe walking out of the room, leaving Mal behind. When Mal turns and their eyes catch, Mal couldn’t have a more caught out looking expression. Wash glances down to Hadyn, can’t risk moving, then back to Mal.
“Do you want to try it again?” More to the point, did Zoe?
Mal just stares at him, something in his gaze that… Zoe’s voice comes through from the hall. She never left after all. “Not gonna get a better chance, Mal.”
And Wash, he can’t even get up when Mal steps across, pinned under Hadyn and there isn’t much chance to think anyway before Mal’s there. Mal’s lips are there.
Then Jayne is there. Wash has never actually heard Zoe scream before.
*
It was a cruiser that had picked them up and taken them in. Hauled them all back to the Alliance, and thank whatever that they had found the shuttle with Inara in it. Wash doesn't want to know what would have happened if they'd come across a dead shuttle full of Simon and River. It's not a possibility that had even occurred to him at the time and he's glad.
Inara's presence in the shuttle meant the four got the help they needed. A carefully fabricated story told by her and they'd got transport onto the Core planet Sihnon.
“A gorramn week at that training house an' I had to get out. Not one 'a them whore's would even look at me.”
Simon clears his throat, “I believe the term is Companion.”
The doctor is acting smooth but there's been this fine tremor to his hands ever since he saw Jayne and realized that if Jayne were here, the others had to have survived as well. Kaylee had to be fine. Simon can hardly keep his anticipation in check and he isn't the only one.
“An' I believe we're getting off the subject of the story,” Mal breaks in before Jayne and Simon can go off into the snipping match that's brewing. He's got Hadyn in his lap, holding the baby who's eying Jayne with something like suspicion. Or curiosity. Or there's a piece of lint in the air, Wash is never sure. Wash has to lean over to distract Hadyn, which distracts Mal. Wash doesn't know how to decipher that look either.
“To get down to the real reason of why we're all here... Why are you here? How did you find us?” Wash puts everyone's attention back on Jayne.
Jayne shrugs. “Got out of the Central planets 'n started lookin' for work again. Girls had started lookin' for ya. Told 'em it was pointless-”
“Thanks for the vote of faith.”
“But they said y' had t' be out there. Damn near spit my drink out when I got hold a' one of them bulletins you been putting out.”
“Where are they then? Where's Kaylee?” Simon can't hold it back anymore.
“I'm getting' to it.” Jayne sneers. He takes his time draining his coffee first and making Simon's glare deepen. When Mal sighs pointedly, Jayne goes back to talking. “They're coming. Sent 'em a wave but they're further off 'n I was. Gotta pick up the Shepard from the Abbey, too.”
“So a few days and family reunion! We should probably...I dunno, get some food in the fridge or something?”
“It's been your turn for the grocery shopping for the last three days, dear.”
“Has it?”
“But I guess I can see fit to help out. Mal?”
“I got the kids.”
Simon rolls his eyes at the reference, used by now to the offhanded teasing Mal dishes out to all of them. River just folds herself down cross-legged on the floor in front of Mal and those eyes say she's waiting for a story. Jayne just doesn't notice and Wash clasps his hand over the big man's shoulder briefly as he and Zoe step by.
“Good to have you back.” Jayne grunts at him, but Wash doesn't miss the small smile.
Zoe follows him outside and they get on their shiny new mule that's just a little less beat up than the old one. Wash gets a bit of a thrill thinking of the things he and Kaylee will be able to trick it out with when she gets back.
“Wow,” he says out loud after they've already been on the road for a minute.
Zoe leans against his back, chin pressing over his shoulder. “Wow?”
“Yeah, I think it just kinda kicked in that they're actually...coming back.”
“Second best thing I've heard in awhile.” He doesn't need to ask to know that the first best thing is probably still being cradled and fussed over by Mal. Speaking of-
“Also wow Mal kissed me. Again.”
“Really you started the first one.”
“And you telling him to.”
“Guess that's worth a bit of a 'wow'.”
She's in one of those moods where she's not going to answer any question but the right one. His woman's got a bit of a wicked streak to her and even over the grumble of the mule's engine, he can hear the humor. He pulls the mule off to the side and glares at her through the dust the wheels kick up.
“Why did you tell Mal to kiss me?” Plainly the oddest sentence that he's ever spoken.
“Because he's lonely, you're still feeling threatened, and I'm tired of all the bickering.”
The problem with asking a straight question is that he always gets a blunt answer in return, full of truths that he can't hide from.
“We don't bicker.” She stares him down. “We fight. It's more manly.”
“Honey.” He knows that tone too well. The stop making jokes tone. He wanted to talk about this so that's what they were going to do. “Ever since Mal got here you've had your back up.”
“Not so much now.”
“But still. Afraid he'll take your place.”
“He almost did.” They'd already had to move locations once because of Mal.
“I figured we should give him a new place. Something else instead of fighting.” She smiles as she concedes the smallest point to him. “A place with us.”
There came the punch line.
*
Maybe he could have used a week away on a ship right then to think it all through. The other shuttle has been found and in two days time, this house is going to be full. Overly so, Mal has already started talking about building another with help from the ranch hands. They're alive, all of them, and that's gotta be some kind of miracle.
But the thing that he really should have needed to let sink in even more than that: his wife wants to give Mal a place. With them. And Wash isn't even objecting to it.
He doesn't need to think about it. Mal is the only one still in the living room when they get back and with one look, Wash doesn't need to think about it.
“Hey Mal.” Wash steps into the room and glances around.
“Hadyn's asleep.”
“Good. Makes this a lot easier.”
He leans down and kisses Mal. This time there's nothing to distract them, just Zoe watching across the room. She looks satisfied, Wash knows because that's how she's looked ever since he couldn't say no. A second of surprise and Mal is clinging to him with a hand clasped against the back of his neck. Like a lifeline.
Wash gets it now. This whole crew - family - is a lifeline and without Mal, they never would have been able to get it back. That death can mean change as well.
--