football is back bitches. i can fully emerse myself in the world of organized tackle football, until early february. i officially hate tuesday, wednesday, and friday. why the fuck can't they play football every day.
They can't play football every day cause that would ruin Their Evil Conspiracy to make your life suck. Yes, They know how much you love the footie-ball and thus have arranged things to make you more miserable. Next on Their Evil Agenda: Outlawing sammiches and Dr. Pepper.
The NFL planned it that way for your personal safety. If they scheduled a football game every night of the week, there would be no opportunities to have sex. All real men, everywhere, would be either too tired from all the hooting and hollering, or too intoxicated to properly perform. All procreation would stop from Aug to Jan and our population would begin to dwindle. Therefore, they scheduled it for Sundays, since it's a sabbath and no one's supposed to have sex that day anyway. And some on Monday, so that you didn't have to go through a full week without football, to make the cravings a bit easier.
So, out of nowhere my child likes football. She watches it intently, and when we change the channel she screams. Not just cries, but cries like somebody chopped off her little baby toes. Then we change it back, and she again is good and quiet. Weird.
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Therefore, they scheduled it for Sundays, since it's a sabbath and no one's supposed to have sex that day anyway. And some on Monday, so that you didn't have to go through a full week without football, to make the cravings a bit easier.
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