How did I miss this last night? : P Forgive my belatedness, though I still get the first comment dance!
I do not think it is completely sucky. At all. I liked it a lot, actually. It's very realistic - it deals with issues we have every day: pleasing parents, grades, what you'll do with the rest of your life... And Jessi is real, too. Her emotions are everybody's emotions. I felt that we were a lot alike...except I still refuse to give up on the follow your heart fairytale, and she has. (Interesting back story there as to why...?) You didn't go overboard with description, either, which is good. A first section needs description, but it also needs to do something, and I think you made it function very well. It's a good jumping off place, a foundation type thing that will work to hold up the rest of the story. It's strong enough to hold it up, anyway
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haha, thanks, but i'm still sticking by my sucky theory... and i know exactly what you mean by the word choice, there are a few paragraphs in there that need changing. especially the last few, the application essay thingy, i used the word honestly about three times without even realizing it. i can't think of the other ones now but yeah... thanks for pointing that out to me, i probably woulda forgotten to change it. ahh, and thank God for my more impartial friends like you guys... (at least i hope you're being impartial and not just saying it's good because you don't want me to be crushed. lol.)
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I do not think it is completely sucky. At all. I liked it a lot, actually. It's very realistic - it deals with issues we have every day: pleasing parents, grades, what you'll do with the rest of your life... And Jessi is real, too. Her emotions are everybody's emotions. I felt that we were a lot alike...except I still refuse to give up on the follow your heart fairytale, and she has. (Interesting back story there as to why...?) You didn't go overboard with description, either, which is good. A first section needs description, but it also needs to do something, and I think you made it function very well. It's a good jumping off place, a foundation type thing that will work to hold up the rest of the story. It's strong enough to hold it up, anyway ( ... )
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