every single thing i say is devoted to someone else ( Read more... )

so far away.

when its so close.

i did it before, i can do it again.

seems so unreal now.

all is still.

though nothing stays in its place.

it is no ones fault but my own.

itll just go back to the way it was.

i know better now.
.....

"claudia. noun. a flower, smells much like an iris but the color is painted with genuine emotion. claudias line the sacred hill top under the setting sun."

bruna yr too good to me.

i dont want to do it.

i have the worst timing.

but if its to happen it will.

im sad.

everything really isnt how it seems to be.

im confused.

and then im not.

i need to make you feel..

so there all settled in. lovely.

i hate seeing my dad sad.

i dont want to hate my mom.

make me feel better. i need to really talk it out.

its what love feels like..

yesterday was wonderful. dancing with fido and ciera was great, i wanted to show the whole world. i wont do it again. i want that feeling without that.

the night ended to early.

"This virginal sadness wasnt all fake. There was a part of her she hadnt yet allowed to be born because it was too beautiful for this place.."

i just want to go away. i want to walk other streets and see nicer faces.nothing is what it appears to be.

my uncle passed away today. he had a heart attack. he was only 41. he has two kids in elem. school.

my mother came in my room trying to console and told me i needed God more then ever now. it amazes me how she can twist something like this against me.

i cant keep doing this. theres just so much that i can take.