Nigerian airways
I will refrain from the shit thats bothering me. Instead here is a funny joke about Nigerian airways...I dont know if anyone who knows nothing about nigeria will understand this joke but eh whatever. enjoy:
Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen.
This is your captain (Boneyface) welcoming you on
board of Nigeria Airways.
We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off,
it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to
put in at the bakery.
This is flight 126 to Lagos. Landing in Lagos is
not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the
South.
If luck is in our favour, we may even be landing
on your village!
Nigeria Airways has an excellent safety-record. In
fact our safety standards are so high that even
terrorists are afraid to fly with us!
It is with pleasure, I announce that starting this
year over 50% of our passengers have reached their
destination.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger
request, we can arrange to turn them off!.
To make your free fall to earth pleasant and
memorable, we serve complimentary Bongo tea and
Okin biscuits!
For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the
only airline who can help you find out if there really
is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight
movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from
the television.
But for our movie buffs, we will be flying
right next to Air Barka, where their movie will be
visible from the right side of the cabin window.
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any
smoke you see in the cabin is only the early
warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to
fly as close as possible for the best view. If,
however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our
enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right
through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright
position for take-off and fasten your set-belt.
For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly
fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat ... and for
those of you who can't find a seat, do not
hesitate
to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain
how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."