And we could grab the hands and turn back the clock, unless its digital
I don't think this will make much sense.
Driving Chris back over to Hampden-Sydney we talked about me. He said it was said I was graduating this year, I just laughed. Said four years was enough for me. Him and AJ are offical and oh so happy together. Ahhhh freshmen in love.
Just in case all 30 of your Longwood friends haven't written about it in their journal tonight UA met on Brock Commons at 2 in the morning. We decorated all the lamp posts with laminated quotes about us coming out. And the big Oak tree out back of the student union got ribboned. Little rainbow duckies were put in the fountain at Grainger.
I took Chris back of over to his school, there were a lot of deer out this morning. We were talking about me growing up in Atlanta. How I was more accepted at Roswell High (and Cenntenial) then I am at Longwood.
And its been awhile since I had one of those "I wish I didn't move to Virginia moments." I thought about everything I've done since I've moved to Virginia and I secretly wish I was in Atlanta right now. I wish I had grauated from Roswell and stayed at my church, the best church in the world, it was my world. I feel like I've done nothing but make a lot of enemies. I really shut down when I moved to VA and then they put me on meds and I shut down anymore. I take full resposibility for everything I feel because it is MY job to change how I feel but still I'm ready for a change.
I just remembered I had a dream this afternoon (I went to bed at 5:30) that me and Maggie had this long sit down talk about how we were feeling. We were in Atlanta at my old old church, and my car broke into a million diffrent pieces.
I sometimes think about how my social anxiety has gotten me into a lot of trouble because it comes off like I'm a bitch or that I don't like people when really I just get so nervous around people. Not that medicine helpped, not that being off medicine helps. I really really wanna go back in time and slap myself three-ways and call me stupid and fix ways I have reacted. Gosh I've been stupid. I think holding it against me all the time is stupid too, so is assuming.
Atleast I am to the point in my life where when people make stupid accusations about me I don't even care about correcting them. Trying to convience people about my personal life takes too much energy.
My life is simply summed up I'm fucked if I do and I'm fucked if I don't.
Fortune cookies from today: Sometimes travel to new places leaders to great transformation. AND. Only you can deicide what is important to you