Push and Pull
Overall rating: R
Summary: It's like all those lies and truths are lying in bed with you...
SPOILERS: None
Pairing: Uchiha Sasuke x Uzumaki Naruto
Disclaimer: Naruto and all related characters (c) Masashi Kishimoto -- i.e. They are not mine.
Push
and Pull
Perhaps
it’s one lie after another. Maybe. In your life, your short life,
you’ve mistaken truth for lies and lies for truth a thousand times
and then some.
Lies
thrown across the room at you and you believed them. Truths sheltered
from you and you had to strive on their opposites.
And
so, for all your bad judgment; you don’t know what to say to this.
This
was…this is…
Inexplicable.
And
you’re gasping and breathing and rushing and you try - you try to
keep up with what your body’s doing but you fail.
You
push - he pulls.
You’ve
got to stop just stop for five seconds and try to think.
There’s
stillness again because you managed to give him what he wants.
Your
mind’s still humming and so are your fingertips. They’re racing,
racing across the planes of his back, digging in and digging out and
bringing around everything that didn’t, doesn’t and will always
make sense.
You’ve
got to stop stop stop.
But
as you push, he pulls.
It’s
like all those lies and truths are lying in bed with you.
You
don’t know when and you don’t know how but all of a sudden you’re
naked and so is he and you have to just gasp.
You
can’t understand.
What
happened? You haven’t the slightest clue.
But
you know what’s happening now.
It’s
all sweat and you’re slick and sliding and it’s so unbearably hot
but his body is cool and firm and hard and suddenly the scrambling;
that frantic scrambling that was sending pistons up and down your
spine - it stops.
You’re
aware suddenly, of his trembling.
God,
you know how it feels. Because you’re trembling too.
Eyes,
dark and shadowed by hair just as dark are boring into yours. Yet for
all their intensity you can see the thousand and one doubts and fears
all making the dark eyes darker.
Now
he’s pushing you away.
Without
breathing or blinking or thinking, you pull him back.
You
need him back.
It’s
like you’re both gravitating to each other…There’s only so much
distance allowed between both of you.
Only
so much time before you collide.
And
you do.
Collide.
And
all of a sudden there’s rushing in your ears and in your heart and
in…Everything
And
there’s a rhythm in the way you’re moving first him and then you.
And
then you’re gasping and choking on your own pleasure, his pain,
your pain, his pleasure.
He’s
pushing. You’re pushing right back.
There
is no beginning of you and ending of him.
And
lips - bruised from your fighting and kissing - are roaming all
over you and all over him and it’s like neither of you can stop.
You
can’t stop. Neither of you want to.
Then
there’s that frantic thrashing and you both tumble, and you’re
suddenly on top of him and he’s begging you for something and you
beg right back.
Insecurity
is back in those proud eyes of his and, had this been a fight, you
would have felt smug about yourself.
Had
this been any other fight, you would have smirked and taunted.
But,
for all the fighting you both were doing with sheets tangled around
legs, you can do neither.
All
you can do is feel the exact same way.
But
it’s not like you to give up.
So,
as he pulls back, you pull too.
And
through gasps and panting, you manage to take a breath and dive right
in.
Vaguely,
at the back of your mind - a mind slowly but surely shattering from
the innate pleasure - you think: he’s beautiful.
Later,
much later, you’re both utterly still. A different type of still
from the time before.
You
still don’t know what to say to it.
You’re
rendered speechless and he - well, he’d always been quiet.
You’re
both lying on your backs and you’re frightened, suddenly, to look
at him.
What
if he regrets it? What if he laughs? What if he tells you that it was
just some sort of sick joke? What if -
And
suddenly he’s on top of you, and he spreads your legs easily with a
knee.
He
wants control back - he’d given you control all that time and now
he wants it back. He needs it back.
And
you understand.
This
time, it’s you who’s frightened and you’re trying to keep your
head on your shoulders when he first collides with you.
You
feel pain and pain and then some and you wonder if you’d given him
the same.
But
then a movement above you and your eyes flare open and he’s looking
at you with an intensity that scares you. You’re frightened and
small beneath him but you manage to bring up a hand to brush away his
hair.
There,
swirling in his eyes, blood red now, was an image of you with
desperation and pain etched into your skin.
You
recoil.
But
as you pull back he pulls too.
And
after his deep breath, he doesn’t just dive. He lives
inside you. Atop you. Beneath you. Besides you.
With
those eyes, you know - but don’t fully comprehend in your current
euphoria - he’s watching your every move. And you’re wondering.
Does he think you’re beautiful too?
Later
still, you find yourself tracing patterns on his back.
He
is watching you with half lidded eyes; not even pretending to be
asleep. You know you would have. If he touched you during the night,
you would have pretended to be asleep. You would be frightened he’d
stop.
But
his eyes are regarding you and they’re glazed over and yet alert.
He probably thinks this is all a dream.
And
maybe it was.
You
find yourself tracing patterns that have turned into words on his
back. You do this almost all night. The words have turned into
promises. The promises into vows. Until he finally reaches up and
takes your hand off his back. He presses your hand back towards you
before turning to lie on his side; his back to you.
On
the pale skin you imagine your words are burned red there.
You
turn away as well and there’s a space between you that could, for
all you knew, have gone for miles and miles.
There
will be no more contact tonight.
Although
later, on your seventh night together, though you don’t know this
yet - you don’t believe there will be a later, or a next time,
but they happen - your skin and his skin is perhaps all that keeps
you two separated.
And
then, even later on - at that point you would have stopped counting
- your skin and his skin is the only thing that keeps you
both separated.
But
for tonight, skin does not touch or mold. In the morning he’ll
already be gone although you’ll know he stayed till past dawn. And
he had watched you.
You’ll
know this because you’ll be awake. But you’ll pretend to be
asleep.
Tonight
there is more than just skin that separates you. A whole lot more.
And
yet, despite the distance - the miles between the both of you -
there is still a connection; a bond; a link. You can feel it on your
fingertips. Your lips. The nape of your neck. The roof of your mouth.
In
the dawn, you won’t remember your last thought of the night. You’ll
be too worried about feigning sleep. But for now, it’s fresh in
your mind. Had you been less tired, you would have wondered about it.
But
for now, it’s fresh in your mind. Your eyes shut and you’re
asleep. Still. It echoes.
So
this is completeness.