Comments | thylaslain: [FIC] What We Might Do

thylaslain

[FIC] What We Might Do - Chapter III

Feb 19, 2006 20:39

What We Might Do

Overall rating: R - NC-17

Summary: What we might do. When we're all alone. There's just you. And there's just me. And the promise of nothing in between.
SPOILERS: None
Pairing: Uchiha Sasuke x Uzumaki Naruto
Chapter Rating: 15+
Disclaimer: Naruto and all related characters © Masashi Kishimoto -- i.e. They are not mine

( The last thing Sasuke saw before collapsing was Kakashi on the far end of the battle field, at the edge of the canyon, body hunched over with palms pressed against the ground, his one sharingan eye swirling dizzily and the other blue one staring glassily out over the cliff. )

sasuxnaru, uzumaki, uchiha, what we might do, naruto, sasuke

Comments 22

an_icey_flame February 19 2006, 19:04:49 UTC

T.T Iruka!! No0o0o0o0!!! ::sniffle::

It was really wrll-written. All the emotion, and the reactions. Well done. ^^

tariku February 19 2006, 19:34:01 UTC

wow. i especially liked the little analogy at the end. bravo! ^____^

crazy_toffee February 19 2006, 21:43:29 UTC

Powerfully written! I liked the writing in this chapter better than the others because it was detailed and strong in images, but not so 'florid' as the previous chapters (or at least, that is how I felt it). This part seemed more focused, the images leap more clearly into sight along with the emotions.

Keep at it! What happens next? :)

thylaslain February 20 2006, 18:27:40 UTC

:) Thank you.
Since this chapter is pre-Iruka's passing away, (or...leading up to the moment of realization) it isn't so heavy in that observations of Naruto (which the 2 previous chapters have been made up of, mostly) aren't as detached and disjointed. Although it does, i hope, have a weight of its own... :)

azamaria_chan February 19 2006, 23:59:04 UTC

Wonderfully written chapter, the best yet. Lots of strong and heartbreaking emotions. Very nicely done! I can't wait to see what happens next.

thylaslain February 20 2006, 18:33:29 UTC

thank you azamaria-sama. :) I can't wait either. lol. this always happens to me. my stories get all out of control. D:

hobbit_nudity February 20 2006, 00:37:05 UTC

ToT i was wondering why kakashi was so still! why hadn't anyone else noticed iruka's non-presence?! *sobs*

*sniff* this was really powerfully written, i really liked how you set the scene and how you wrote Sakura reacted to finding ... iruka... just to mention a few things

thylaslain February 20 2006, 18:29:46 UTC

thank you. :D
I suppose it's because so many were injured that people just didn't have time to notice...Just Kakashi...