(Untitled)

Jul 08, 2004 23:23

My roommate's father died at 3am this morning.

What am I supposed to do?

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Comments 9

ben_krak July 8 2004, 23:55:14 UTC
I can't answer that. My best friend's dad died last year, he called me, right when I was editing "War in Iraq," and said, "I'm sorry I can't hep you with your haunted house this year, my dad just died." I think that was the only thing that's brought me to tears since elementary school.

What helped with him was being normal. As soon as we (his friends) realized that his father's death had only stunned, and not killed his sense of humour, we were there for him by joking as we normally would. It was amazing to see how having his friends with him, acting as normal as we could, changed his mood incredibly.

There's a fine line between being insensitive and supportive when it comes to joking around, but I think it makes itself pretty clear. Laughter is a powerful thing. It's impossible to be sad when you're laughing.

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tiamet_nox July 9 2004, 00:37:25 UTC
Thanks Ben. I appreciate the advice.

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freaky_krazy July 9 2004, 00:32:40 UTC
dammit that really sux. how's he doing?

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tiamet_nox July 9 2004, 00:36:54 UTC
As well as can be expected I suppose. But he wishes you a happy early birthday and Tom does as well. ^-^

Graham's in Abbotsford with his family now. He should be back early next week.

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freaky_krazy July 9 2004, 00:43:32 UTC
YAY tell him i say thanks!

am i seeing you tomm?

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tiamet_nox July 9 2004, 01:19:33 UTC
Most likely.

I was supposed to get my hair cut at like 7pm but if we're going to whatsit lake in the middle of nowhere(how are we getting home by the way?) I guess I'm not.

Unless my tummy flu gets worse. Then I'll have to rain check.

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weirdchylde July 9 2004, 16:01:38 UTC
Aww....if he remembers who I am :p tell him I'm very sorry to hear that, and I can sympathise. My grand-ma died on Monday about 2 years after being diagnosed with Alzheimer's and dementia (remember my grand-pa died at the end of school last year? this grand-ma was his wife. My poor father is now an orphan :( ). I haven't told anyone other than the two people I'm staying with in Montreal and maybe one other person, but it's definitely tough dealing with a death in the family.

I agree with Ben. What helped me get over my grand-pa's death (which was really hard on me) was a great set of friends who just kept my chin up and encouraged me along the way. Don't pretend it didn't happen, but I suppose you can help him realize that death is natural and it couldn't have been prevented. Don't let him beat himself up with the "Why's" (i.e. "why didn't I spend more time with him before he died?"), that will just make him more depressed. Again, give him my best wishes. Cheers.

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tiamet_nox July 10 2004, 00:18:24 UTC
Thank you

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