Somebody hand me a magnet, needle, and saucer of water.
I've had a lot to think about the past couple of days.
People, places, thoughts, feelings, and goals have been flying around in my head and dancing before me in the form of people and events I have experienced.
I seem to have lost my greater ability of self expression. How to releate to a person to tell them something they may need, or simply how to listen to them. What is the format in which one communicates EXACTLY the information needed so it will be accepted and acted upon? Accepting all possibile outcomes of an interaction and confidently moving toward... what exactly, I don't know.
I could rant/whine/summarize about that until LJ's servers died a horrible screeching hard drive death. As is well, I am not curently equiped for that yet, which brings me to my point.
A compass point. The one I don't have.
Watching damn near everybody I've ever known through my memories to this day, seeing how they change and grow, I have come to look for the "One Thing" that seems to support them. Some put thier faith in other people, some in themselves. There is philosophy, religion, law, Zen, rules, science, nature, simple ideals, the opposites of all that I have said, and even the Void. People have held fast to thier internal works sometimes even to detrimental levels. (I AM one to talk.)
This "One Thing" for any given person seems to enhance will or resolve, and even act as a secondary backbone when weak. An internal guide for the speedy or secure resolution of problems and encounters day to day. It can be relied on when logic or reason fail. It helps develop a 'tiebreaker' decision. The self affirming becon to bring the ship home in one peice. The compass of the soul.
I though I had one of these, and must have at one point or I simply would not be here. I won't moan about not having it anymore, except to say I don't want it back without a warranty. Better yet, a brand new one with a 70,000 worry/10 year extended karma to dogma warrenty with a maintence plan.
I would like to state I recognize these things are not quite off the self merchandise, nor do they get custom crafted in a day. (Except in Vegas, I hear.) Personal North actually builds over time, and trust within oneself that that IS the direction they would like to go, the actuall 'compass point' seems to align itself and materialize out of the things one does to get where they are going.
No, I've missed something. The argument has become circular. Purpose cannot appear from an affirmation of it before the purpose itself exsits, that's illusion.
Fuckit, sleep. Start again tomorrow.
People, places, thoughts, feelings, and goals have been flying around in my head and dancing before me in the form of people and events I have experienced.
I seem to have lost my greater ability of self expression. How to releate to a person to tell them something they may need, or simply how to listen to them. What is the format in which one communicates EXACTLY the information needed so it will be accepted and acted upon? Accepting all possibile outcomes of an interaction and confidently moving toward... what exactly, I don't know.
I could rant/whine/summarize about that until LJ's servers died a horrible screeching hard drive death. As is well, I am not curently equiped for that yet, which brings me to my point.
A compass point. The one I don't have.
Watching damn near everybody I've ever known through my memories to this day, seeing how they change and grow, I have come to look for the "One Thing" that seems to support them. Some put thier faith in other people, some in themselves. There is philosophy, religion, law, Zen, rules, science, nature, simple ideals, the opposites of all that I have said, and even the Void. People have held fast to thier internal works sometimes even to detrimental levels. (I AM one to talk.)
This "One Thing" for any given person seems to enhance will or resolve, and even act as a secondary backbone when weak. An internal guide for the speedy or secure resolution of problems and encounters day to day. It can be relied on when logic or reason fail. It helps develop a 'tiebreaker' decision. The self affirming becon to bring the ship home in one peice. The compass of the soul.
I though I had one of these, and must have at one point or I simply would not be here. I won't moan about not having it anymore, except to say I don't want it back without a warranty. Better yet, a brand new one with a 70,000 worry/10 year extended karma to dogma warrenty with a maintence plan.
I would like to state I recognize these things are not quite off the self merchandise, nor do they get custom crafted in a day. (Except in Vegas, I hear.) Personal North actually builds over time, and trust within oneself that that IS the direction they would like to go, the actuall 'compass point' seems to align itself and materialize out of the things one does to get where they are going.
No, I've missed something. The argument has become circular. Purpose cannot appear from an affirmation of it before the purpose itself exsits, that's illusion.
Fuckit, sleep. Start again tomorrow.