Application
Character: Mindy Macready (Hit-Girl)
Series: Kick-Ass (movie)
Character Age: 13
Canon: One day a comic book nerd with no powers, no training, and no idea what he's actually doing decides to become a superhero. Dubbing himself "Kick-Ass" he sets off to make the world a better place one lost kitten at a time. But things don't go as planned- kicking off a trend for vigilante justice has consequences, which Kick-Ass discovers when he meets Damon and Mindy Macready, a father-daughter duo who fight crime under the names Big Daddy and Hit-Girl.
Out for revenge on a local mob boss, Damon's trained his daughter Mindy to be a dangerous assassin and crime fighter. Mindy spends her days learning important things like martial arts, the proper use of a variety of weapons, and the ever important How to Take a Bullet to the Chest Without Whining. Her training means she doesn't have time for things like school and friends, but Mindy doesn't mind&mdash years of reading comic books have taught her that superheroes need to make sacrifices for the sake of justice. Mature for her age, Mindy's sarcastic, foul-mouthed, and quick to call idiots out on their bullshit. Under it all, though, she's still a kid who craves attention and loves spending time with her daddy, even if that bonding time involves slaughtering a warehouse full of thugs.
Sample Post:
...is that supposed to be a zombie? Huh, so a summer camp named Camp Fuck You Die isn't just a place where assholes can make lanyards, sing kumbaya, and go oooh and aaah and shit it's trying to grab me! at the thing on the silo? I never would've guessed! It's not like naming your cover operation something intimidating to keep people from looking too closely happens all the time in horror movies and cartoons. Next time, to be even sneakier, they should put up a sign that says 'SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITIES GOING ON.' Seriously, all the campers and counselors who showed up here not expecting a fight must have shit for brains.
I mean, come on. It's not like it's hard to see that this is a pretty fucked up place for a summer camp. There are piles of weapons just laying around every building! How is that not an obvious clue that something weird is going on? I'll give you that weapons aren't anything special, just typical hillbilly shotguns. But this group is headed by a woman so batshit she puts her bodyguards in zombie costumes- she's not gonna get top-of-the-line gear. And these are pretty far from top of the line. What are they, Winchester 97's?
Whatever they are, it's not like they'd actually be effective anywhere other than bugfuck nowhere. And they're not even all that helpful on this stupid farm! Gimme a sawed-off instead. Short range, plenty of firepower, and perfect for a place where I can barely see a foot in front of my goddamn face 'cuz of all the stupid corn. But I'll work with what I have for now, since it should be more than enough to take care of this goon in the zombie costume. And once I'm finished with him, I'll find the Director and take that bitch out. So say your prayers, cocksucker-
-fuck! Not only're these shitty looking, but they can't even shoot a single round?! Fucking useless! When I shoot a guy at this range, I want to pull the trigger and see his brains go flying. I don't want some stupid little flag that says 'bang' popping out! Covered in goddamn sparkles, too, and a stupid sparkly smiley face. What is this, a pump action by Lisa Frank?! I know I loaded this thing and checked it out before looking around, too, so it's gotta be the gun's fault.
Fine then. First, I'm going to shove this so far up this zombie's asshole that they're gonna find glitter in his brain. Once that's done, and I find a gun that actually works? I'm going after the Director. And what I do to her isn't going to have a fucking smiley face on it.
Voting goes here
Series: Kick-Ass (movie)
Character Age: 13
Canon: One day a comic book nerd with no powers, no training, and no idea what he's actually doing decides to become a superhero. Dubbing himself "Kick-Ass" he sets off to make the world a better place one lost kitten at a time. But things don't go as planned- kicking off a trend for vigilante justice has consequences, which Kick-Ass discovers when he meets Damon and Mindy Macready, a father-daughter duo who fight crime under the names Big Daddy and Hit-Girl.
Out for revenge on a local mob boss, Damon's trained his daughter Mindy to be a dangerous assassin and crime fighter. Mindy spends her days learning important things like martial arts, the proper use of a variety of weapons, and the ever important How to Take a Bullet to the Chest Without Whining. Her training means she doesn't have time for things like school and friends, but Mindy doesn't mind&mdash years of reading comic books have taught her that superheroes need to make sacrifices for the sake of justice. Mature for her age, Mindy's sarcastic, foul-mouthed, and quick to call idiots out on their bullshit. Under it all, though, she's still a kid who craves attention and loves spending time with her daddy, even if that bonding time involves slaughtering a warehouse full of thugs.
Sample Post:
...is that supposed to be a zombie? Huh, so a summer camp named Camp Fuck You Die isn't just a place where assholes can make lanyards, sing kumbaya, and go oooh and aaah and shit it's trying to grab me! at the thing on the silo? I never would've guessed! It's not like naming your cover operation something intimidating to keep people from looking too closely happens all the time in horror movies and cartoons. Next time, to be even sneakier, they should put up a sign that says 'SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITIES GOING ON.' Seriously, all the campers and counselors who showed up here not expecting a fight must have shit for brains.
I mean, come on. It's not like it's hard to see that this is a pretty fucked up place for a summer camp. There are piles of weapons just laying around every building! How is that not an obvious clue that something weird is going on? I'll give you that weapons aren't anything special, just typical hillbilly shotguns. But this group is headed by a woman so batshit she puts her bodyguards in zombie costumes- she's not gonna get top-of-the-line gear. And these are pretty far from top of the line. What are they, Winchester 97's?
Whatever they are, it's not like they'd actually be effective anywhere other than bugfuck nowhere. And they're not even all that helpful on this stupid farm! Gimme a sawed-off instead. Short range, plenty of firepower, and perfect for a place where I can barely see a foot in front of my goddamn face 'cuz of all the stupid corn. But I'll work with what I have for now, since it should be more than enough to take care of this goon in the zombie costume. And once I'm finished with him, I'll find the Director and take that bitch out. So say your prayers, cocksucker-
-fuck! Not only're these shitty looking, but they can't even shoot a single round?! Fucking useless! When I shoot a guy at this range, I want to pull the trigger and see his brains go flying. I don't want some stupid little flag that says 'bang' popping out! Covered in goddamn sparkles, too, and a stupid sparkly smiley face. What is this, a pump action by Lisa Frank?! I know I loaded this thing and checked it out before looking around, too, so it's gotta be the gun's fault.
Fine then. First, I'm going to shove this so far up this zombie's asshole that they're gonna find glitter in his brain. Once that's done, and I find a gun that actually works? I'm going after the Director. And what I do to her isn't going to have a fucking smiley face on it.
Voting goes here