Why is it I seem to always post when things are bleh or worse? I am horrible.

Yeah, depressed... like usual? Gosh, that is pathetic... like I am.

Why am I like this? Because I can't take my own advice. Great... I am such a hypocrite.

And I can't let things go. Brilliant.

I suck. At life. Why is it worth it?

So I hope things pick up soon. I am trying to move on from everyone, and it is hard. History is hard to overcome. Things will get better when I can just push it all under the rug again because I am busy. Just a little while longer.

It is crazy to think that summer is almost over. I have done nothing but really work all summer, and that is just CRAZY. I have, at the same time, loved and hated this summer ( Read more... )

So, my laptop decided to take a crap out on me... and at the moment I get to either wait until the end of the month to try and call Dell to fix it, or just get a new one. Either option sucks. I don't know what I am going to do... I mean, I need so much stuff on that laptop... URG!

Things are just a little different than the were a few days ago... and I think I like it...

I realise why I don't like goodbyes... well, there are two main reasons ( Read more... )

So close, and yet so far.

Everything I do, I feel like turns into a mistake...
No matter what I do... When I talk about what is bugging me, or bottle it up. It is wrong.
So, if everything I do is wrong... Do I follow the opposite of what I want? Is that right?

Only 9 more.
So close... and yet so far.

So appearently I am overly emotional, incapable of hiding my emotions, and a burden on others.

Basically, when I bottled everything up... it was bad. People wanted me to open up more.

Now, that I open up more... people want me to be all bottled up and not a burden.

This is the last time I am changing. Hope everyone likes it... if not... fuck off

Only three weeks of this term left... and that means that there is only three weeks left in my first year of being at Oregon State University... Wow. It feels like yesterday when I arrived here. I really have become a different person than when I arrived. I have made easy, and difficult choices... but they were the right ones. I am still having ( Read more... )

I am working on it... but it is more difficult than I thought.

Also, I am getting to the point again where I don't like nightfall. The depression hits again and I feel like I have in the past. I still don't understand why I can't be open and let people in. Why do I just bottle everything, what am I so afraid of? Why do I hurt?