fic: Every Slayer needs her Scoobies - PG-13 [Teyla, team]
TITLE: Every Slayer needs her Scoobies
SUMMARY: John and Rodney have a new weapon to show off.
CATEGORY: team, friendship, fluff, crackerrific AU
RATING: PG-13
DISCLAIMER: Neither Stargate Atlantis nor Joss Whedon's Slayerverse belong to me; I'm just borrowing the characters and concepts for shits and giggles.
NOTES: My original prompt was 'vampires'. No-one said that the team had to be vampires. On the other hand, this is partly owed to greenconverses' version of Teyla-the-Vampire-Slayer which ate inspired my brain!
Every Slayer needs her Scoobies
A haze of plaster drifted down from the ceiling in the silence.
John looked sourly at his Science project partner who was staring forlornly at the stakes embedded in the ceiling of what had been the McKay basement. "Rodney? Your aim sucks."
Over by the door, Ronon snorted as he vigorously shook out his dreadlocks. "He'd have to improve to suck."
Rodney ignored both comments quite studiously. They'd argued over who was going to demonstrate the weapon. John had argued that he had the better aim - although considering where the stakes had ended up, anyone would have a better aim than Rodney. Rodney had argued that if someone with very little gunmanship could use the railgun to shoot a vampire, then the Slayer shouldn't have any trouble at all.
"Uh, so," he said to the small, slim figure who was coughing as she waved fine plaster dust away from her mouth and nose. "As you can see...it works pretty well."
Teyla reached for the water bottle sitting by the desk and began unscrewing the top. "It certainly fires with considerable force," she said, her voice a little choked although her words were mild enough. "Whether it works against vampires..."
"Why shouldn't it?"
"Because the stakes are very small."
"You dusted that one the other week with a pencil." Ronon commented from the doorway as Teyla took a long drink of water, and offered the bottle around.
"Exactly," John said, pressing the advantage. "If a pencil's enough, then why not this?"
Teyla eyed the modified rail gun that Rodney still held. She seemed to be calculating something in her head as she put the bottle back down on the table, then held out one hand. "May I?"
"Uh, yeah, I suppose, just try not to break it, okay?"
John elbowed Rodney, even as Teyla rolled her eyes and climbed to her feet. She crossed the room, took the weapon in two hands and pivoted on her toes towards the paper sheet set up at the end of the long room - Rodney's original target.
There were three little thunks as the minature stakes - wooden cores in a steel frame - embedded themselves firmly into the corkboard behind the roughly-drawn vampire.
Another silence followed as the three boys swallowed hard. Although it was a known fact that stakes only dusted vamps when they pierced the heart, Teyla had only aimed once for the heart. The other two stakes had landed precisely in the centre of the forehead, and right between the legs.
John felt his balls twinge, saw Ronon's legs shift, knew that Rodney's hand had twitched to instinctively cup his groin. Teyla turned back with a faint smirk dusting her lips. "I agree, Rodney. It works quite well - at least in theory."
"What do you mean 'in theory'? It works perfectly!"
"I mean," Teyla said patiently, "that we do not yet know for certain that it dusts vamps."
"But it's a good design!"
"Of course it is," she said, patting him on the arm. "You designed it."
"Hey, I helped!" John protested with a twinge that was not quite jealousy. Just because Rodney was the acknowledged brain of their group didn't mean that his mind was mush.
Her mouth twitched. "Yes," she agreed. "You did the math." She eyed the rail gun, thoughtfully.
"So...does that mean you'll use it?" Rodney was practically bouncing on his toes. John felt like smacking him down. Just because Teyla was willing to use it while out Slaying tonight didn't mean she was necessarily going to permanently add it to her arsenal of weapons against the vampires, demons, and forces of darkness.
"I am willing to test it tonight if you have more ammunition. Or," she said, lifting her eyes to the ceiling with its studded decorations, "if you are able to retrieve the stakes."
They retrieved the stakes with a fair bit of grunting and pulling on Rodney's part, some gritted teeth from John, a swift, hard yank from Ronon, and almost no effort at all from Teyla.
"Well, why didn't you just do it yourself in the first place?"
She patted Rodney on the shoulder, but winked at John. "Because I enjoy watching you suffer, Rodney." Then, with a quick look around the room, she asked, "Patrolling, tonight?"
"If you want us," John said quickly.
"Eight o'clock, out in the cemetary?"
He didn't bother looking at the other two. Rodney would leap at the chance to be out on patrol, and Ronon would patrol anyway, whether or not Teyla asked him along.
And John? He knew he couldn't fight off the vamps on his own - at least, not without the rail gun they'd designed, and Teyla would be using the prototype. But with Teyla in the fight, by-- on his side? Yes. Definitely.
"We'll be there."
Her smile was brief and brilliant as she flashed it around the room. "See you then."
--
Notes: I know that fandom's more fond of John Sheppard and/or Rodney McKay as the centre of the known universe, but in the name of feminism, I figured that Teyla's really a better candidate for Slayer than either of them. Even a better one than Johanna - or whatever you want to call him. Besides, John's way cuter as a Scooby.
I imagine that Teyla's nemesis probably starts off being the vampire Queens that have risen to power, but ends up being Michael.
Most of the other characters are people at school. Right now, I'm entertaining thoughts of Daniel as the Watcher. Dry, dusty old books of lore should be right up his alley.
SUMMARY: John and Rodney have a new weapon to show off.
CATEGORY: team, friendship, fluff, crackerrific AU
RATING: PG-13
DISCLAIMER: Neither Stargate Atlantis nor Joss Whedon's Slayerverse belong to me; I'm just borrowing the characters and concepts for shits and giggles.
NOTES: My original prompt was 'vampires'. No-one said that the team had to be vampires. On the other hand, this is partly owed to greenconverses' version of Teyla-the-Vampire-Slayer which ate inspired my brain!
Every Slayer needs her Scoobies
A haze of plaster drifted down from the ceiling in the silence.
John looked sourly at his Science project partner who was staring forlornly at the stakes embedded in the ceiling of what had been the McKay basement. "Rodney? Your aim sucks."
Over by the door, Ronon snorted as he vigorously shook out his dreadlocks. "He'd have to improve to suck."
Rodney ignored both comments quite studiously. They'd argued over who was going to demonstrate the weapon. John had argued that he had the better aim - although considering where the stakes had ended up, anyone would have a better aim than Rodney. Rodney had argued that if someone with very little gunmanship could use the railgun to shoot a vampire, then the Slayer shouldn't have any trouble at all.
"Uh, so," he said to the small, slim figure who was coughing as she waved fine plaster dust away from her mouth and nose. "As you can see...it works pretty well."
Teyla reached for the water bottle sitting by the desk and began unscrewing the top. "It certainly fires with considerable force," she said, her voice a little choked although her words were mild enough. "Whether it works against vampires..."
"Why shouldn't it?"
"Because the stakes are very small."
"You dusted that one the other week with a pencil." Ronon commented from the doorway as Teyla took a long drink of water, and offered the bottle around.
"Exactly," John said, pressing the advantage. "If a pencil's enough, then why not this?"
Teyla eyed the modified rail gun that Rodney still held. She seemed to be calculating something in her head as she put the bottle back down on the table, then held out one hand. "May I?"
"Uh, yeah, I suppose, just try not to break it, okay?"
John elbowed Rodney, even as Teyla rolled her eyes and climbed to her feet. She crossed the room, took the weapon in two hands and pivoted on her toes towards the paper sheet set up at the end of the long room - Rodney's original target.
There were three little thunks as the minature stakes - wooden cores in a steel frame - embedded themselves firmly into the corkboard behind the roughly-drawn vampire.
Another silence followed as the three boys swallowed hard. Although it was a known fact that stakes only dusted vamps when they pierced the heart, Teyla had only aimed once for the heart. The other two stakes had landed precisely in the centre of the forehead, and right between the legs.
John felt his balls twinge, saw Ronon's legs shift, knew that Rodney's hand had twitched to instinctively cup his groin. Teyla turned back with a faint smirk dusting her lips. "I agree, Rodney. It works quite well - at least in theory."
"What do you mean 'in theory'? It works perfectly!"
"I mean," Teyla said patiently, "that we do not yet know for certain that it dusts vamps."
"But it's a good design!"
"Of course it is," she said, patting him on the arm. "You designed it."
"Hey, I helped!" John protested with a twinge that was not quite jealousy. Just because Rodney was the acknowledged brain of their group didn't mean that his mind was mush.
Her mouth twitched. "Yes," she agreed. "You did the math." She eyed the rail gun, thoughtfully.
"So...does that mean you'll use it?" Rodney was practically bouncing on his toes. John felt like smacking him down. Just because Teyla was willing to use it while out Slaying tonight didn't mean she was necessarily going to permanently add it to her arsenal of weapons against the vampires, demons, and forces of darkness.
"I am willing to test it tonight if you have more ammunition. Or," she said, lifting her eyes to the ceiling with its studded decorations, "if you are able to retrieve the stakes."
They retrieved the stakes with a fair bit of grunting and pulling on Rodney's part, some gritted teeth from John, a swift, hard yank from Ronon, and almost no effort at all from Teyla.
"Well, why didn't you just do it yourself in the first place?"
She patted Rodney on the shoulder, but winked at John. "Because I enjoy watching you suffer, Rodney." Then, with a quick look around the room, she asked, "Patrolling, tonight?"
"If you want us," John said quickly.
"Eight o'clock, out in the cemetary?"
He didn't bother looking at the other two. Rodney would leap at the chance to be out on patrol, and Ronon would patrol anyway, whether or not Teyla asked him along.
And John? He knew he couldn't fight off the vamps on his own - at least, not without the rail gun they'd designed, and Teyla would be using the prototype. But with Teyla in the fight, by-- on his side? Yes. Definitely.
"We'll be there."
Her smile was brief and brilliant as she flashed it around the room. "See you then."
--
Notes: I know that fandom's more fond of John Sheppard and/or Rodney McKay as the centre of the known universe, but in the name of feminism, I figured that Teyla's really a better candidate for Slayer than either of them. Even a better one than Johanna - or whatever you want to call him. Besides, John's way cuter as a Scooby.
I imagine that Teyla's nemesis probably starts off being the vampire Queens that have risen to power, but ends up being Michael.
Most of the other characters are people at school. Right now, I'm entertaining thoughts of Daniel as the Watcher. Dry, dusty old books of lore should be right up his alley.