Does it ever feel like you're never gonna be ok again? Have you ever wondered how life went so astray? Did you ever look in the mirror and wonder why? Have you ever been truly loved? How does it feel? What is it like? When will I ever be loved? WILL we make it? Am I gonna lose it all? What do I do ( Read more... )

Well, my grandma was rushed into emergency surgery, which she came out of ok. They took out most of her colon and now has a colostomy bag. She isn't going to handle that well at all. BUT, her blood pressure is dropping and she doesn't have a very good chance of surviving. I don't know what else to say about that. I don't know how to feel. I ( Read more... )

LJ Friends Meme by coolerq
• You must tell 9 people about this game.
• drew is the one that you love.
• dustin is one you like but can't work out.
• You care most about jennifer.
• erica is the one who knows you very well.
• angie is your lucky star.
• you're the only one is the song that matches with drew.
• closeer is the song for dustin.
• still the one is the ( Read more... )

Wow. That is all I can say. He makes me go wow. Today has been a very busy day. I have all the kids because of all the things going on in the family. I have 9 kids right now. 9. I tried to get the rest of my things out of cum guzzling dick licking sock fucker's house. I had to stop and go get more kids so I didn't get it all. I hate him. ( Read more... )

I got a call at 7:46 a.m. this morning that my grandmother had a massive heart-attack last night and was in the hospital and we needed to get there in a hurry. I raced to her side and sat with her as much as possible. She is currently stable. She actually flat lined. Died. at one point in time today. They laid her bed back and tilted her head ( Read more... )

On to other things, Adam called last night out of the blue. Misses me and loves me. I don't understand him. AT ALL. How can he go and forget that I exist and then go and things like call and say how guilty he feels??? How??? I so don't know how I feel about this. I told him how things have been going for me. I told him how the kids are ( Read more... )

Today I realized I have a shithole house, a shithole car, a decaying life. I feel as though i don't have anything to hope for or look forward to. My kids are extra loving today. I love them so much they bring so much to my life. But after contemplation, I realize I have much more than many. I will survive and my life journey will take me far ( Read more... )

colorgenics.com go and take the test ( Read more... )

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Thank you to all who have shown an interest in helping me to survive this painful ordeal. I must admit alcohol is a wonderful numbing agent. It piques my attention and helps me forget for a short time. Long enough to have some fun instead of crying or staring off. Sleep seems to evade me ( Read more... )