Original -- Winning Valentine's Day
Title: Winning Valentine's Day
Rating: G
Word Count: 384
Warnings: virtually none, for once!
Prompt: candy hearts at pulped_fictions
Summary: "I can murder you whenever I want. That's what relationships are about."
Author's Note: S'up, Nick and Theo. S'up, everyone I just spammed with useless fluff almost a full week after Valentine's Day.
WINNING VALENTINE’S DAY
Theo’s first mistake is having the gall to try to do his homework.
Nick is sprawled out on Theo’s bed. After three minutes of rare silence, there is a rustling, which Theo unwisely ignores. Then the bedsprings squeak.
“Hey, you,” Nick says.
Theo gives up on ever getting anything done with his obnoxious boyfriend in the room and half-turns. “Wh-”
The purple candy heart hits him squarely in the forehead.
“Three points,” Nick says calmly, digging in the bag. He pulls out a green one and considers it. “Hot stuff.”
Theo dodges this one. “What the hell?”
“Cutie pie.” That one nails Theo’s shoulder as he tries to feint to the right.
“Uh,” Theo says, “news-flash.” He pauses to duck; a yellow one that Nick announces as “All mine” flies just over his head and ricochets off of his computer screen. “Believe it or not, you’re more than five years old.”
“Nonsense,” Nick says, pitching a pink one at him.
“They don’t print ‘nonsense’ ones, you liar.”
“You don’t know anything,” Nick says, rummaging for ammunition. “You forgot that it was Valentine’s Day.”
“I take it back,” Theo says. “You are five years old.”
“Then you’re a pedophile.”
“I’m about to be a murderer.”
“You can’t murder me on Valentine’s Day.”
Theo searches through the essay-related mess on his desk for the candy; if he invites ants into his bedroom, his parents will kill him well before he’s convicted for homicide. “I can murder you whenever I want. That’s what relationships are about.”
Nick flops down on the bed and attempts to look pitiable. “There are no words for how much you’re missing the point.”
“Actually,” Theo says, “there are. Pick up my pillow.”
Nick shoots him a weird look, but his curiosity gets the better of him, and he lifts it.
There he finds a heart-shaped box that used to hold chocolates, which now contains a collection of gift cards, coupons, and clippings from incredibly bizarre newspaper articles. The lid reads:
You are an idiot. I love you.
Nick sits up and hugs it to his chest, beaming fit to break his face. “Okay, you win.”
“Good,” Theo says. “Your first job as the official loser of Valentine’s Day is to clean up all the candy on my floor.”
Rating: G
Word Count: 384
Warnings: virtually none, for once!
Prompt: candy hearts at pulped_fictions
Summary: "I can murder you whenever I want. That's what relationships are about."
Author's Note: S'up, Nick and Theo. S'up, everyone I just spammed with useless fluff almost a full week after Valentine's Day.
WINNING VALENTINE’S DAY
Theo’s first mistake is having the gall to try to do his homework.
Nick is sprawled out on Theo’s bed. After three minutes of rare silence, there is a rustling, which Theo unwisely ignores. Then the bedsprings squeak.
“Hey, you,” Nick says.
Theo gives up on ever getting anything done with his obnoxious boyfriend in the room and half-turns. “Wh-”
The purple candy heart hits him squarely in the forehead.
“Three points,” Nick says calmly, digging in the bag. He pulls out a green one and considers it. “Hot stuff.”
Theo dodges this one. “What the hell?”
“Cutie pie.” That one nails Theo’s shoulder as he tries to feint to the right.
“Uh,” Theo says, “news-flash.” He pauses to duck; a yellow one that Nick announces as “All mine” flies just over his head and ricochets off of his computer screen. “Believe it or not, you’re more than five years old.”
“Nonsense,” Nick says, pitching a pink one at him.
“They don’t print ‘nonsense’ ones, you liar.”
“You don’t know anything,” Nick says, rummaging for ammunition. “You forgot that it was Valentine’s Day.”
“I take it back,” Theo says. “You are five years old.”
“Then you’re a pedophile.”
“I’m about to be a murderer.”
“You can’t murder me on Valentine’s Day.”
Theo searches through the essay-related mess on his desk for the candy; if he invites ants into his bedroom, his parents will kill him well before he’s convicted for homicide. “I can murder you whenever I want. That’s what relationships are about.”
Nick flops down on the bed and attempts to look pitiable. “There are no words for how much you’re missing the point.”
“Actually,” Theo says, “there are. Pick up my pillow.”
Nick shoots him a weird look, but his curiosity gets the better of him, and he lifts it.
There he finds a heart-shaped box that used to hold chocolates, which now contains a collection of gift cards, coupons, and clippings from incredibly bizarre newspaper articles. The lid reads:
You are an idiot. I love you.
Nick sits up and hugs it to his chest, beaming fit to break his face. “Okay, you win.”
“Good,” Theo says. “Your first job as the official loser of Valentine’s Day is to clean up all the candy on my floor.”