Original -- I Like Your Girlfriend
Title: I Like Your Girlfriend
Rating: G
Word Count: 484
Warnings: I used to think I was pretty politically-correct. Then I started writing Nick.
Prompt: "I Like Your Girlfriend"
Summary: A selection of not-at-all-known facts about Theo, who loves this movie and hates his life.
Author's Note: For pulped_fictions. GO GREEN TEAM. :D For reference, Nick and Theo are my babies from last year's Script Frenzy and scattered bits of fiction. They don't like to shut up, even when I ask nicely. Creative title is creative. This whole thing is what I immediately thought of when I saw the song title, and I couldn't come up with anything that fit the song itself, so I went with it. :)
I LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND
Theo liked Andrea.
…really.
A not-at-all-known fact about Theo was that he kept a meticulous Crazy Meter in his head. Level One was for graceful people-people who conducted themselves well in awkward situations; people with poise; people who could soothe any social fiasco. Level Ten was for people who could send you to the top of a tall building in your best jumping shoes in thirty seconds flat.
Theo put himself at a three and a half, and Nick ranged from a five to a seven, depending on what percentage of his blood was processed sugar and how many racist pun opportunities presented themselves. Nick’s previous girlfriends had been a solid eight (Tiff, who had made Nick a pink lanyard and insisted he wear it as a belt), a seven-to-nine (Kate, aspiring poetess/songwriter with no concept of boundaries or of healthy decibel levels), and a twenty-four (Theo still had nightmares about Her).
Andrea was a four and a half, tops. Of course Theo liked her. She even kind of appreciated his sense of humor.
Besides, she was nice. Theo liked nice people.
When Nick careened down the hall to acquire more refreshments for their “Batman Begins”/“The Dark Knight” marathon (he had ingested enough Oreos to be pushing seven, which explained the careening), Andrea turned to Theo, wrapping her arms around her knees.
“I’m sorry I always end up here during your Guy Time,” she said.
Theo stared at her. “I was going to apologize for ruining all your dates.”
Andrea smiled faintly. “No way. You’re really cool. Plus you’re the only one who can stop him when he gets started.”
Theo called them Pun Ladders-they built on themselves.
He shrugged. “It’s just practice.”
Theo liked Andrea. That was the problem-she was great. She was the kind of girl who might stick around, the kind of girl Nick might date through the rest of college and on and on until he married her, and they produced likable, five-or-so children. She was the kind of girl who sowed dread in the pit of Theo’s stomach, because she was the kind of girl who could replace him for good.
Nick burst into the room again, bearing more Oreos and milk.
“Guys,” he gasped, eyes wild, “I just realized-we gotta do karaoke next time. Theo, you have to sing ‘Back in Black.’”
“No.”
“Something from the Black Album?”
“No.”
Nick pouted, tossing the cookies to his girlfriend. “You’re in my black books.”
Theo refused to let his mouth twitch. “Get black in your seat and start the movie.”
The hysterical laughter was worth it. Andrea grinned at him, and Theo smiled thinly back.
Another not-at-all-known fact about Theo was that his Crazy Meter assessment of himself was a dimly-acknowledged lie.
Being in love with Nick definitely earned you a ten.
Rating: G
Word Count: 484
Warnings: I used to think I was pretty politically-correct. Then I started writing Nick.
Prompt: "I Like Your Girlfriend"
Summary: A selection of not-at-all-known facts about Theo, who loves this movie and hates his life.
Author's Note: For pulped_fictions. GO GREEN TEAM. :D For reference, Nick and Theo are my babies from last year's Script Frenzy and scattered bits of fiction. They don't like to shut up, even when I ask nicely. Creative title is creative. This whole thing is what I immediately thought of when I saw the song title, and I couldn't come up with anything that fit the song itself, so I went with it. :)
I LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND
Theo liked Andrea.
…really.
A not-at-all-known fact about Theo was that he kept a meticulous Crazy Meter in his head. Level One was for graceful people-people who conducted themselves well in awkward situations; people with poise; people who could soothe any social fiasco. Level Ten was for people who could send you to the top of a tall building in your best jumping shoes in thirty seconds flat.
Theo put himself at a three and a half, and Nick ranged from a five to a seven, depending on what percentage of his blood was processed sugar and how many racist pun opportunities presented themselves. Nick’s previous girlfriends had been a solid eight (Tiff, who had made Nick a pink lanyard and insisted he wear it as a belt), a seven-to-nine (Kate, aspiring poetess/songwriter with no concept of boundaries or of healthy decibel levels), and a twenty-four (Theo still had nightmares about Her).
Andrea was a four and a half, tops. Of course Theo liked her. She even kind of appreciated his sense of humor.
Besides, she was nice. Theo liked nice people.
When Nick careened down the hall to acquire more refreshments for their “Batman Begins”/“The Dark Knight” marathon (he had ingested enough Oreos to be pushing seven, which explained the careening), Andrea turned to Theo, wrapping her arms around her knees.
“I’m sorry I always end up here during your Guy Time,” she said.
Theo stared at her. “I was going to apologize for ruining all your dates.”
Andrea smiled faintly. “No way. You’re really cool. Plus you’re the only one who can stop him when he gets started.”
Theo called them Pun Ladders-they built on themselves.
He shrugged. “It’s just practice.”
Theo liked Andrea. That was the problem-she was great. She was the kind of girl who might stick around, the kind of girl Nick might date through the rest of college and on and on until he married her, and they produced likable, five-or-so children. She was the kind of girl who sowed dread in the pit of Theo’s stomach, because she was the kind of girl who could replace him for good.
Nick burst into the room again, bearing more Oreos and milk.
“Guys,” he gasped, eyes wild, “I just realized-we gotta do karaoke next time. Theo, you have to sing ‘Back in Black.’”
“No.”
“Something from the Black Album?”
“No.”
Nick pouted, tossing the cookies to his girlfriend. “You’re in my black books.”
Theo refused to let his mouth twitch. “Get black in your seat and start the movie.”
The hysterical laughter was worth it. Andrea grinned at him, and Theo smiled thinly back.
Another not-at-all-known fact about Theo was that his Crazy Meter assessment of himself was a dimly-acknowledged lie.
Being in love with Nick definitely earned you a ten.