the complicated thing about life is it doesnt take a break. there are no time outs, no moments to catch your breath. despite the overwhelming cloud of anxiety floating comfortably around your head, life just plunges forward. before your ready to breath, ready to handle things, ready to take the time you need to appreciate anything, there it is, ( Read more... )

it takes 21 days before something becomes habit. i have a plan. and i have to push thru 21 days. and i dont think i can do it. but i HAVE to. because i need to. for me. so damn it i have to make myself. damn it. i bet you day 22 will suck anyways.

WHATEVER. i am determined.

how the hell am i supposed to build CREDIT if i cant get a CREDIT CARD? and WHY would i be REJECTED for it? wat the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck??? i dont have bad credit! THIS PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF. i dont know what to dooooo people in much worse than me have gotten credit cards WTF WTF WTF.

in other news, i just dont get it.

but i dont want to talk about that right now lol i want to talk about how the hell i'm goin to clean my room. I DONT KNOW YET. its a disaster. and its more stress than i can manage. but i'm so embarrased about it i cant accept help. maybe once i start packin all this SHIT. i'm going to have to get rid of a ton of it. no doubt about it. but i dont ( Read more... )

i'm afraid of what i dont know and i fear the things hidden from me. i despise this feeling and i cant stand the idea that its permanent. i pray that everything will go away and someday i'll be back to normal. i want the world to fall back into place and stop messing around. i hope for genuine smiles and real laughter when in the end all i feel is ( Read more... )

i'm really stressed right now.

i cant believe this is happening. i think its just hit me.

please come

firtion adams thursday 4pm-8pm
friday at holy trinity-10 am

it would mean the world to me, and i know it would mean everything to her.

i'm dealing with things i wasnt expecting to deal with for at least 20 to 30 more years ( Read more... )

i'm so tired i'm tryin to convince myself to stand up for the shower i desperately need ( Read more... )