(no subject)
I don't understand you. I don't understand why you do this to me. I don't think you even do. Hell, you don't even know that you are doing anything to me. Somehow, after awhile, I think I'm okay. I think it was all simple, irrational feelings. Then you show up and throw every bit of self-confidence out the window. Literally, you break me down like no one ever has before. Just tell me what you feel, tell me. I know this can't be one sided. It can't. By the forces of nature and all that is good and holy in this world... it just can't.
I haven't even spoken to anyone about you in a long time. Why? Because it's silly of me to. It makes absolutely no sense. The less I talk about you the further you grow away from me, right? How can I feel this away about you? How? I mean, it's me... logical me. I never allow anything that doesn't make sense in my life. Then you come in. And you don't even know. You have absolutely no idea. Nothing. At all. I'd say I love you, because I do. I'd say I'm in love with you but it's too dangerous. There's nothing concrete about it. No supports under it. Nothing but this feeling deep inside of me that I can't control. I find it hard to breathe around you, talk to you, hear you. This is not in my nature. Feelings like this develop over time; they just don't instantaneously appear and last for two years. I knew there was something about you the second I saw you. I knew it. The first time I heard you speak. You even began to feel it too. You admitted it to me.
I know you know. You do. And you feel awkward on how to deal with the situation. I don't know... maybe this is me trying to be existentially romantic. We know each other for a while, click like no one else has. One has secret, undeniable feelings for the other. Their heartbreaks every time they see them with another. All signs point for the two to embrace each other. But the loved is oblivious. And then one day in a dramatic cinematic climax, it happens. As simple as that... and joy is spread throughout the land. Pitiful.
I'm sorry. That's all I can offer. I can get on my knees and beg you to love me and to express it to me. But that'd ruin the stoic attitude I present to you. The one I've worked so hard to hone to perfection. I'm not about to give up my neutral, partially satirical standing towards you. I'm not ready. I don't know if I ever will be. I know we're close. We always will be. Unusually close for our situation. I'm so scared it will all leave. It will all go without me being able to tell you or slightly express my feelings. I need courage, someone please give me the courage. Suicidal courage.
I haven't even spoken to anyone about you in a long time. Why? Because it's silly of me to. It makes absolutely no sense. The less I talk about you the further you grow away from me, right? How can I feel this away about you? How? I mean, it's me... logical me. I never allow anything that doesn't make sense in my life. Then you come in. And you don't even know. You have absolutely no idea. Nothing. At all. I'd say I love you, because I do. I'd say I'm in love with you but it's too dangerous. There's nothing concrete about it. No supports under it. Nothing but this feeling deep inside of me that I can't control. I find it hard to breathe around you, talk to you, hear you. This is not in my nature. Feelings like this develop over time; they just don't instantaneously appear and last for two years. I knew there was something about you the second I saw you. I knew it. The first time I heard you speak. You even began to feel it too. You admitted it to me.
I know you know. You do. And you feel awkward on how to deal with the situation. I don't know... maybe this is me trying to be existentially romantic. We know each other for a while, click like no one else has. One has secret, undeniable feelings for the other. Their heartbreaks every time they see them with another. All signs point for the two to embrace each other. But the loved is oblivious. And then one day in a dramatic cinematic climax, it happens. As simple as that... and joy is spread throughout the land. Pitiful.
I'm sorry. That's all I can offer. I can get on my knees and beg you to love me and to express it to me. But that'd ruin the stoic attitude I present to you. The one I've worked so hard to hone to perfection. I'm not about to give up my neutral, partially satirical standing towards you. I'm not ready. I don't know if I ever will be. I know we're close. We always will be. Unusually close for our situation. I'm so scared it will all leave. It will all go without me being able to tell you or slightly express my feelings. I need courage, someone please give me the courage. Suicidal courage.