(no subject)
ok... i was bored and so i decided to post some funny thingy's that i found. but they're long so....
WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS SO HARD TO LEARN:
1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does certain things when does are present.
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth Beth?
One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all, but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite a play and play at a recital, ship by truck and send cargo by ship, have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
People, not computers, invented English. . . it reflects the creativity of the human race which, of course, is not a race at all.
That is why when the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible.
P. S. Why doesn't BUICK rhyme with QUICK?
and something for all you DIRTY minds....
i challenge you NOT to think dirty. all the answers in this quiz are NOT obscene in any way. the answers are at the bottom of the page
vocabulary test for the dirty minded:
1. What is a four-letter word that ends in ‘k’ and means the same as intercourse?
2. What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of?
3. What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it?
4. What word starts with "f " and ends with "u-c-k"?
5. Name five words that are each four letters long, end in " u-n-t " one of which is a word for a woman?
6. What does a dog do that you can step into?
7. What four letter word begins with "f " and ends with k", and if you can't get one you can use your hands? 8. What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat?
9. What four-letter word ends in "i-t " and is found on the bottom of birdcages?
10. What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
want the answers? well leave a comment in this entry and i'll tell you if you're right. if no one comes up with the answers, i'll post them later. :) happy thinking!