the thoughts of an overactive tigger brain after a very thought provoking day...
Brain dump required in order to start sorting the filing in my head....
Not sure where to start - chronological order of the day, reverse chronological order or just in the random way that is my brain exploding... Exploding wins...
Atrium: different to recent weeks, well sort of, still an hour of silent reflection, of peace, of meeting God, of stepping away from the business of life and re-centring.
Lord, teach us to pray - was the theme. My own question is how to pray without turning it into the "shopping list" and how to listen to God's response - and then respond to him.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts.
See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Spent time examining/reflecting on the last week and was aware of my Grumpiness and how I can focus on the surface layer and not really give 100%.
The second part of the reflection was based on the Caleb Prayer, and really really taking it one step at a time and letting each small section expand and "spring board" into the next bit. God is beyond all I can imagine, as he has mercy on us and the land we need to be merciful towards each other, which led onto pondering on what is mercy - it is empathy, it is being there, it is knowing without being told when a hug is needed, it is being supportive without being judgemental, its about putting others first, its a Gift that is immeasurable when God gives it to us and we can show it towards others. What does it mean to revive the church... is it just about bums on seats - no, its about the overflowing love of God pouring through us and touching the lives of those around with Gods love displayed through our deeds and words. Having got this far, with the thought process, the springboard moved to how do I respond to this, where do I fit in all of this and what's next. There is a sense and a feeling of things changing, slowly and positively at BV from time to time there is a hint of excitement and anticipation, what does that mean for me, others in the church, the parish, the city... big and as of yet unknown answers.
Morning service used the wonderful poetic section of Ecclesiastes on there is a time for everything. We were reminded of the two Greek works for time Chronos time and Chiros time. Chronos is the time we experience every day, seconds, minutes, hours etc. Chiros is God time, the time where God is present with us and it is beyond the bounds of the physical time we use to track our lives. We were challenged do we experience Chiros, or are we ruled and constrained by Chronos?
There are times when I know there is something "nattering" away at me and I feel like throwing a temper tantrum, stamping my foot and saying please just use the large neon sign and tell me what it is, I'm not getting the subtle subtexts. Well tonight wasn't so much a neon sign as a BIG knife been twisted, but it was also a gentle supportive embrace. There is comfort from the process of, face it, lay it down and move on having acknowledged it and asked for and received the grace needed to rebuild life. I am not able to sort everything for my self, and I DON'T need to, things that I can't alter, or fix on my own can be sorted IF I humbly put myself before God and ask for his help to change, don't hide the mistakes/bad habits etc. under the rug, don't fall into the trap of making excuses and ignoring them and then "re-offending" just swallow your pride, and admit you need help. Our God is a God of Grace and Mercy, he will help and he wants to help, Life isn't for stumbling through on your own making mistakes and dusting yourself off for the next left hook to hit, its about being honest open and prepared to ask for and accept the help that is freely given by God in all his greatness, which is bigger than I can imagine and knowing that he really Really REALLY does care for everyone of us at once, now and forever. It was not an easy evening, there was a serious chunk of soul searching, there was a feeling of being unworthy, a feeling of despair, of failure, and of sorrow, which then became, release, positivity, hope, and conviction. So am still feeling a bit bruised an battered, but hopeful and ready to face the next challenge.
Not sure where to start - chronological order of the day, reverse chronological order or just in the random way that is my brain exploding... Exploding wins...
Atrium: different to recent weeks, well sort of, still an hour of silent reflection, of peace, of meeting God, of stepping away from the business of life and re-centring.
Lord, teach us to pray - was the theme. My own question is how to pray without turning it into the "shopping list" and how to listen to God's response - and then respond to him.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts.
See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Spent time examining/reflecting on the last week and was aware of my Grumpiness and how I can focus on the surface layer and not really give 100%.
The second part of the reflection was based on the Caleb Prayer, and really really taking it one step at a time and letting each small section expand and "spring board" into the next bit. God is beyond all I can imagine, as he has mercy on us and the land we need to be merciful towards each other, which led onto pondering on what is mercy - it is empathy, it is being there, it is knowing without being told when a hug is needed, it is being supportive without being judgemental, its about putting others first, its a Gift that is immeasurable when God gives it to us and we can show it towards others. What does it mean to revive the church... is it just about bums on seats - no, its about the overflowing love of God pouring through us and touching the lives of those around with Gods love displayed through our deeds and words. Having got this far, with the thought process, the springboard moved to how do I respond to this, where do I fit in all of this and what's next. There is a sense and a feeling of things changing, slowly and positively at BV from time to time there is a hint of excitement and anticipation, what does that mean for me, others in the church, the parish, the city... big and as of yet unknown answers.
Morning service used the wonderful poetic section of Ecclesiastes on there is a time for everything. We were reminded of the two Greek works for time Chronos time and Chiros time. Chronos is the time we experience every day, seconds, minutes, hours etc. Chiros is God time, the time where God is present with us and it is beyond the bounds of the physical time we use to track our lives. We were challenged do we experience Chiros, or are we ruled and constrained by Chronos?
There are times when I know there is something "nattering" away at me and I feel like throwing a temper tantrum, stamping my foot and saying please just use the large neon sign and tell me what it is, I'm not getting the subtle subtexts. Well tonight wasn't so much a neon sign as a BIG knife been twisted, but it was also a gentle supportive embrace. There is comfort from the process of, face it, lay it down and move on having acknowledged it and asked for and received the grace needed to rebuild life. I am not able to sort everything for my self, and I DON'T need to, things that I can't alter, or fix on my own can be sorted IF I humbly put myself before God and ask for his help to change, don't hide the mistakes/bad habits etc. under the rug, don't fall into the trap of making excuses and ignoring them and then "re-offending" just swallow your pride, and admit you need help. Our God is a God of Grace and Mercy, he will help and he wants to help, Life isn't for stumbling through on your own making mistakes and dusting yourself off for the next left hook to hit, its about being honest open and prepared to ask for and accept the help that is freely given by God in all his greatness, which is bigger than I can imagine and knowing that he really Really REALLY does care for everyone of us at once, now and forever. It was not an easy evening, there was a serious chunk of soul searching, there was a feeling of being unworthy, a feeling of despair, of failure, and of sorrow, which then became, release, positivity, hope, and conviction. So am still feeling a bit bruised an battered, but hopeful and ready to face the next challenge.