the last brick standing
it has been almost a month since graduation, and all the, yes, insanity that has followed. to recap:
the people i know who have graduated from college never really said much about what the experience is like, and now that i've gone through it myself, ceremony and all, i can tell why. it is fucking surreal. there was a distinct moment during the ceremony when i realized that i was now not just a certified "trained apprentice," but that i had now entered the journeyman phase of my life. i am no longer held down to anything. the experience was somewhat enjoyable, more so the Guinness at Dublin's before the ceremony and being with my class and friends throughout, but the heat was almost unbearable and, of course, i wore my blacks underneath my gown as a little shout-out to James. having the 'rents around all weekend was pretty harrying, but once we all ate Sunday night we all calmed down and the demands on me slowed a bit to the point where i could handle them. i think it was mostly hard because i was feeling the separation from Mom and Dad very strongly and needed some more quiet time to process my thoughts. it's huge that i'm essentially out on my own now, no job (yet) and no place to live after September 10. i didn't really get to see everyone i wanted to the night of graduation, but i suppose that's an indication of how things will be in the future. it's hard to keep up with folks when they aren't in the same place. maybe that's just my problem. i'm glad to be out of UCSB, even if it has been an enjoyable ride. the time has definitely come to go out and do great things.
the night of graduation i decided that i really needed to get out of IV, so instead of doing the smart thing and waiting until morning, i got in my car and drove halfway to San Jose. i only got halfway because i left at 12:45 and hit Paso Robles around 3 am as i was nodding off into the steering wheel, thus forcing an overnight stay at the Hotel "am/pm gas station parking lot" where i slept surprisingly comfortably in the back seat of my car. i got up early the next morning, drove the rest of the way to San Jo, and reunited with Rich for the first time in months, which was so nice. he, being the awesomest friend i can imagine, got me a Scott Parker game jersey for graduation and made my week. now i have a constant reminder on my wall to kick ass. the following two days consisted of a ridiculous amount of good food, beer, and geekiness, including, but not limited to: a free viewing of Nacho Libre, which was just a'ight except for a couple of moments (i will never look at corn the same again); my first Dave & Busters experience which was absolutely fantastic because not only were there video games and booze, but we also watched the end of the NHL finals and the Stanley Cup ceremony; In & Out, which requires no further explanation of awesomeness; tooling around looking for games for Rich's new DS (yes i am evil); the Tech Museum, full of technological wonders and an IMAX screen full of Everest-y goodness; and dinner at an awesome sushi place where we were inevitably seated next to a girl who, you guessed it, just graduated from UCSB and was as ditzy as they come. we couldn't talk during dinner for fear of laughing so hard that we'd embarrass ourselves. we said our tearful goodbyes, as Rich was flying to New York the next day to be a bitch (ie go to cool bars and plays without me) and I headed down to Monterey.
describing the following twenty-four hours with any sort of accuracy just wouldn't be fair to the story, so all i will say is that after trying to meet at the early-closing Cold Stone Creamery, Charlie and I played Kingdom Hearts 2 until we beat it - 26 hours later. we took three breaks: once to go to 7/11 at around 2 am to get snacks, once at 7 am to sign Charlie up for classes and take a nap, and once at 2 pm to get Papa Chano's with THE GANZHORN (fear her telephoto wrath). insanity and laughter abounded like tiny forest animals during a wildfire stampede. there was also crying, but mostly from laughing so hard. the next night i went home after a late Peter B's dinner with CWR3, and tried to slip in quietly, only to be disturbed, at 2 am, mind you, by Dad walking in, as if this were absolutely routine, and sitting down on the bed. he didn't say a word, just came in, and then started talking once he sat down. he had plans for real estate in New York, which were excellent and intriguing, but not surreptitiously in the middle of the night. then Mom came in and i was sufficiently peeved, so i kicked them both out and slept the sleep of a thousand sleeping sleepy-things. i also got to spend some time with Mags, which was great, and I think it was Thursday night she and CWR3 and I drank and watched Hedwig and the Angry Inch, which i enjoyed thoroughly. Mags and i walked around Carmel the next day, visiting CWR3 at LUSH and giggling about various life hilarities before she went home and CWR3 and i met THE GANZHORN for dinner and, ultimately other, younger Yorkies for CARS. the movie inspired a short race between Team Tigre and Team CWR3 Penzoil to Denny's, in which i nearly killed both of us by cutting him off through a left turn. ah, the delight of finishing first. i am the fastest man alive. we said our farewells after Denny's, planning for the wonders that would be New York in the Fall. the next morning, Saturday, was brunch with Mom and Dad since i hadn't driven back to IV the night before for a production meeting in Ventura that i was told about Friday at 1 (grrr). brunch was nice, light, and relatively fruitful since we didn't spend a lot of time arguing over little things (i've been testy with them lately and it bugs me), and then i took off again for my favorite den of iniquity, Isla Vista.
there really wasn't much here when i got back. i've never spent the summer in IV so it was a real shock to find the place such a ghost town. practically no one is here. i guess there are some folks around, but i'm hesitant to call anyone, or i kept on getting busy with things like going to Disneyland the day after getting back. that was awesome. i felt like i was five again, for an entire day, excluding the driving and waiting for Tina and Wyatt for almost two hours. we had such a blast, though. we went on Space Mountain, and Star Tours, and the Indiana Jones ride. i bought a leather fedora (dun dun dun dun!) and wore it through the entire Indy ride. i felt so alive that day, like anything was possible and i could make it happen with just my imagination. we saw ASIMO, the humanoid robot Honda's developing... and it was creepy. almost too human, you know? we left around 10, went to get food, and i wasn't back on the road until 12:30 or so, meaning another night spent driving until three. i really almost went off the road a couple times, so i made a decision to never drive that late again. it's just not worth the risk. i'm finding that even though i love driving, doing so much of it kind of kills the experience, especially when it's on Los Angeles freeways (otherwise known as the largest parking lots in Southern California).
but the summer of fun did not end there! no no! there were auditions to go to! the next day i drove down to Pacific Palisades to audition for HAIR, a production i was far more nervous about than i needed to be, and did fairly well, landing a lead and some very nice complements from experienced and wise people. but it was not the audition that made an impact this time, it was the people. from the moment i stepped into the house i'd be staying in (a friend from UCSB's parents' house), i knew i was in a warm, healthy place. it didn't help that it was extremely hot and humid that day. everyone in the cast essentially had a super-bonding session either that night or the following one and now i feel like i'm in high school again, finally hanging with the theatre geeks who are my true people. that wednesday when i had to drive back to IV it was almost painful to leave. actually, it was literally painful because i must have contracted some sort of food poisoning and, man, it was harsh. but as i was sitting outside the laundromat, nursing an aching stomach post-L&L, it struck me that my time down in LA had been the first in years that i'd felt like i was at home. maybe it's the people i'm staying with (and their beautiful and talented daughters - look for more on that later), or my cast mates who have so wholeheartedly welcomed me into their world, but i really love it down there. as such, i'm throwing myself into this play as much as i can, even going so far as dropping Summer Theatre Lab (though realistically that's because i wouldn't have time to do both). i feel like this was the right choice to make. the past two weeks have been spectacular and hectic, but that feels like the real world to me. now i think i need to get a job and the world would feel like true reality had sunk in.
now i'm embracing the Hippie life, mostly in the sense of sharing with and loving unconditionally everyone around me. it's hard at times, but i'm getting used to it. it's helping me to chill out, too, which is a really great thing. i'm cutting down on my back-and-forth driving, staying in LA as much as possible now, which affords me some interesting opportunities. i ran into a CSSSA friend who i haven't spoken to in five years at the Apple Store in Santa Monica today, went out to lunch, then came back to the store to see Edward Burns giving a talk about making a movie with Final Cut Pro and Macs. that and Mom and Dad called from Italy so i could hear the crowd still cheering for the World Cup team 45 minutes after the game was over. all in all, today was awesome. i'm experimenting a little more with pot, out of curiosity rather than desire to get fucked up, and the verdict is still just, "meh." i think it has a very different effect on me than most people because of the ADD thing. i get really spacey, enough that other people who are high comment on it. i know it's that i'm getting lost in my own thoughts, but not everyone gets that. i don't know how i feel about it. i don't want to smoke much, because it makes me feel really unproductive. i haven't been drinking, though, which is a very nice change of pace for both my liver AND my wallet. i've been eating home-cooked meals, too, so i've been feeling REALLY healthy. aargh so much to say. i have a lot of music to learn (55 songs) and just as many dances - enough to make my head spin. that and i need to make masks for Eurydice down in Ojai. i don't know how i managed to get wrangled into that, but it's turning into a fun, if stressful, project. i need to write more. i've been stagnant, lazy, but also busy. the staying up socializing/ partying until four every night and getting up at noon really doesn't help. how can i balance being serious and fun? maybe do more of one and less of the other...? i'm in limbo, just waiting to go to New York, but still working here and trying to make the most of it. it's very tempting to stay with all the things that are happening. but i need to go. it's heartening to know that i can make contacts so quickly just by being my friendly and open self. oy and vey it is time for sleep. goodnight world.
the people i know who have graduated from college never really said much about what the experience is like, and now that i've gone through it myself, ceremony and all, i can tell why. it is fucking surreal. there was a distinct moment during the ceremony when i realized that i was now not just a certified "trained apprentice," but that i had now entered the journeyman phase of my life. i am no longer held down to anything. the experience was somewhat enjoyable, more so the Guinness at Dublin's before the ceremony and being with my class and friends throughout, but the heat was almost unbearable and, of course, i wore my blacks underneath my gown as a little shout-out to James. having the 'rents around all weekend was pretty harrying, but once we all ate Sunday night we all calmed down and the demands on me slowed a bit to the point where i could handle them. i think it was mostly hard because i was feeling the separation from Mom and Dad very strongly and needed some more quiet time to process my thoughts. it's huge that i'm essentially out on my own now, no job (yet) and no place to live after September 10. i didn't really get to see everyone i wanted to the night of graduation, but i suppose that's an indication of how things will be in the future. it's hard to keep up with folks when they aren't in the same place. maybe that's just my problem. i'm glad to be out of UCSB, even if it has been an enjoyable ride. the time has definitely come to go out and do great things.
the night of graduation i decided that i really needed to get out of IV, so instead of doing the smart thing and waiting until morning, i got in my car and drove halfway to San Jose. i only got halfway because i left at 12:45 and hit Paso Robles around 3 am as i was nodding off into the steering wheel, thus forcing an overnight stay at the Hotel "am/pm gas station parking lot" where i slept surprisingly comfortably in the back seat of my car. i got up early the next morning, drove the rest of the way to San Jo, and reunited with Rich for the first time in months, which was so nice. he, being the awesomest friend i can imagine, got me a Scott Parker game jersey for graduation and made my week. now i have a constant reminder on my wall to kick ass. the following two days consisted of a ridiculous amount of good food, beer, and geekiness, including, but not limited to: a free viewing of Nacho Libre, which was just a'ight except for a couple of moments (i will never look at corn the same again); my first Dave & Busters experience which was absolutely fantastic because not only were there video games and booze, but we also watched the end of the NHL finals and the Stanley Cup ceremony; In & Out, which requires no further explanation of awesomeness; tooling around looking for games for Rich's new DS (yes i am evil); the Tech Museum, full of technological wonders and an IMAX screen full of Everest-y goodness; and dinner at an awesome sushi place where we were inevitably seated next to a girl who, you guessed it, just graduated from UCSB and was as ditzy as they come. we couldn't talk during dinner for fear of laughing so hard that we'd embarrass ourselves. we said our tearful goodbyes, as Rich was flying to New York the next day to be a bitch (ie go to cool bars and plays without me) and I headed down to Monterey.
describing the following twenty-four hours with any sort of accuracy just wouldn't be fair to the story, so all i will say is that after trying to meet at the early-closing Cold Stone Creamery, Charlie and I played Kingdom Hearts 2 until we beat it - 26 hours later. we took three breaks: once to go to 7/11 at around 2 am to get snacks, once at 7 am to sign Charlie up for classes and take a nap, and once at 2 pm to get Papa Chano's with THE GANZHORN (fear her telephoto wrath). insanity and laughter abounded like tiny forest animals during a wildfire stampede. there was also crying, but mostly from laughing so hard. the next night i went home after a late Peter B's dinner with CWR3, and tried to slip in quietly, only to be disturbed, at 2 am, mind you, by Dad walking in, as if this were absolutely routine, and sitting down on the bed. he didn't say a word, just came in, and then started talking once he sat down. he had plans for real estate in New York, which were excellent and intriguing, but not surreptitiously in the middle of the night. then Mom came in and i was sufficiently peeved, so i kicked them both out and slept the sleep of a thousand sleeping sleepy-things. i also got to spend some time with Mags, which was great, and I think it was Thursday night she and CWR3 and I drank and watched Hedwig and the Angry Inch, which i enjoyed thoroughly. Mags and i walked around Carmel the next day, visiting CWR3 at LUSH and giggling about various life hilarities before she went home and CWR3 and i met THE GANZHORN for dinner and, ultimately other, younger Yorkies for CARS. the movie inspired a short race between Team Tigre and Team CWR3 Penzoil to Denny's, in which i nearly killed both of us by cutting him off through a left turn. ah, the delight of finishing first. i am the fastest man alive. we said our farewells after Denny's, planning for the wonders that would be New York in the Fall. the next morning, Saturday, was brunch with Mom and Dad since i hadn't driven back to IV the night before for a production meeting in Ventura that i was told about Friday at 1 (grrr). brunch was nice, light, and relatively fruitful since we didn't spend a lot of time arguing over little things (i've been testy with them lately and it bugs me), and then i took off again for my favorite den of iniquity, Isla Vista.
there really wasn't much here when i got back. i've never spent the summer in IV so it was a real shock to find the place such a ghost town. practically no one is here. i guess there are some folks around, but i'm hesitant to call anyone, or i kept on getting busy with things like going to Disneyland the day after getting back. that was awesome. i felt like i was five again, for an entire day, excluding the driving and waiting for Tina and Wyatt for almost two hours. we had such a blast, though. we went on Space Mountain, and Star Tours, and the Indiana Jones ride. i bought a leather fedora (dun dun dun dun!) and wore it through the entire Indy ride. i felt so alive that day, like anything was possible and i could make it happen with just my imagination. we saw ASIMO, the humanoid robot Honda's developing... and it was creepy. almost too human, you know? we left around 10, went to get food, and i wasn't back on the road until 12:30 or so, meaning another night spent driving until three. i really almost went off the road a couple times, so i made a decision to never drive that late again. it's just not worth the risk. i'm finding that even though i love driving, doing so much of it kind of kills the experience, especially when it's on Los Angeles freeways (otherwise known as the largest parking lots in Southern California).
but the summer of fun did not end there! no no! there were auditions to go to! the next day i drove down to Pacific Palisades to audition for HAIR, a production i was far more nervous about than i needed to be, and did fairly well, landing a lead and some very nice complements from experienced and wise people. but it was not the audition that made an impact this time, it was the people. from the moment i stepped into the house i'd be staying in (a friend from UCSB's parents' house), i knew i was in a warm, healthy place. it didn't help that it was extremely hot and humid that day. everyone in the cast essentially had a super-bonding session either that night or the following one and now i feel like i'm in high school again, finally hanging with the theatre geeks who are my true people. that wednesday when i had to drive back to IV it was almost painful to leave. actually, it was literally painful because i must have contracted some sort of food poisoning and, man, it was harsh. but as i was sitting outside the laundromat, nursing an aching stomach post-L&L, it struck me that my time down in LA had been the first in years that i'd felt like i was at home. maybe it's the people i'm staying with (and their beautiful and talented daughters - look for more on that later), or my cast mates who have so wholeheartedly welcomed me into their world, but i really love it down there. as such, i'm throwing myself into this play as much as i can, even going so far as dropping Summer Theatre Lab (though realistically that's because i wouldn't have time to do both). i feel like this was the right choice to make. the past two weeks have been spectacular and hectic, but that feels like the real world to me. now i think i need to get a job and the world would feel like true reality had sunk in.
now i'm embracing the Hippie life, mostly in the sense of sharing with and loving unconditionally everyone around me. it's hard at times, but i'm getting used to it. it's helping me to chill out, too, which is a really great thing. i'm cutting down on my back-and-forth driving, staying in LA as much as possible now, which affords me some interesting opportunities. i ran into a CSSSA friend who i haven't spoken to in five years at the Apple Store in Santa Monica today, went out to lunch, then came back to the store to see Edward Burns giving a talk about making a movie with Final Cut Pro and Macs. that and Mom and Dad called from Italy so i could hear the crowd still cheering for the World Cup team 45 minutes after the game was over. all in all, today was awesome. i'm experimenting a little more with pot, out of curiosity rather than desire to get fucked up, and the verdict is still just, "meh." i think it has a very different effect on me than most people because of the ADD thing. i get really spacey, enough that other people who are high comment on it. i know it's that i'm getting lost in my own thoughts, but not everyone gets that. i don't know how i feel about it. i don't want to smoke much, because it makes me feel really unproductive. i haven't been drinking, though, which is a very nice change of pace for both my liver AND my wallet. i've been eating home-cooked meals, too, so i've been feeling REALLY healthy. aargh so much to say. i have a lot of music to learn (55 songs) and just as many dances - enough to make my head spin. that and i need to make masks for Eurydice down in Ojai. i don't know how i managed to get wrangled into that, but it's turning into a fun, if stressful, project. i need to write more. i've been stagnant, lazy, but also busy. the staying up socializing/ partying until four every night and getting up at noon really doesn't help. how can i balance being serious and fun? maybe do more of one and less of the other...? i'm in limbo, just waiting to go to New York, but still working here and trying to make the most of it. it's very tempting to stay with all the things that are happening. but i need to go. it's heartening to know that i can make contacts so quickly just by being my friendly and open self. oy and vey it is time for sleep. goodnight world.