LJI S11 Wk16 - The Streisand Effect

[tigrkittn]

Over 30 years have passed, but I still remember when I finally told my parents "I'm gay."

My first serious crush on a girl was when I was 16. Her name was Elisabeth, and she was a wild, free, hippie-dippie soul with a kinda-scary butch girlfriend and absolutely zero interest in me. But as soon as I met her, there was no unringing that bell.

Other

Comments

[millysdaughter]

It's usually not a surprise...

[tigrkittn]

My friends and their families would say otherwise. At least in 1987.

[millysdaughter]

Some parents don't **want** to know. I know one mother like that.
My niece was all worked up for this dramatic come out, and nobody batted an eye.
Ummm...we love you. We've been paying attention.

[adoptedwriter]

My dad could never come out to my grandma, but that was a diff era. (It was the 80s, but he came from the 30s-40s-50s.) I know she knew. She never openly said it, but she would bring up the fact that she saw/read something about being gay in front of my dad a lot. I think she was trying to get him to speak up, but he wouldn't and couldn't. She would have been fine. She was never judgy of anyone. He came out after she passed away. Glad you can be open now with your family.

[karmasoup]

I imagine it's come up before, but I'd somehow remembered you were poly, but forgot you were gay. I've enjoyed this reminder, though! ❤️

I think there was a time in my life when my parents were expecting I would eventually tell them I'm gay. I'm not, though. I just never got married until I was in my 40s, and I imagine that made them wonder. I know it would have been stressful for them and they would have struggled to accept it, so I don't figure now that I'm a wife and a mother and they're in their late 70s there's any need for them to know I'm not that particular about gender exclusivity.

[tigrkittn]

I'm not gay anymore. I'm married to a man and am primarily interested in men. Not that I rule anything out, but in general. (Let me tell you, THAT was a weird conversation - coming UN-out??)

[halfshellvenus]

I thought you were married to a man! And then I've also thought you were gay from other posts, so a little confused at times. You stopped describing yourself as 'bi' at one point, but that sounds as if it fits the best...

You know, even if your parents were very liberal and open-minded, there's always the fear that just this once, they might suddenly get weird when the situation applies to their own child. I'm so glad it didn't happen that way, but there is a reason most kids fear giving their parents socially unconventional news.

[roina_arwen]

Sometimes it can be hard to be honest with family, but it’s often for the best. Thanks for sharing your story!

[rayaso]

You have lived a very interesting life. I'm not surprised your parents knew. They handled it very well, waiting for you to tell them. It must have been hard having to wait and not sharing your life fully with them.