SGA Ficlet: Enough (Sheppard/Zelenka, G.)
Title: Enough
Pairing: Sheppard/Zelenka
Rating: G
Spoilers: General S2
Disclaimer: So not mine.
Summary: For now, it is enough.
Author's Notes: For visionshadows on the occasion of her birthday. Happy birthday, hon! I hope you enjoy!
When Radek raises his head up from the desk again, Ronon is standing in front of him. The light from the hallway is behind the man and his shadow, large and bulky, is covering Radek with darkness. His eyes are reflecting the red and green and blue lights of the lab equipment and Radek watches, motionless, as he blinks once, twice, and then says, "Come."
Now it is Radek's turn to blink, and he does so. Three times, four, before Ronon says again, "*Come.*"
Radek opens his mouth, perhaps to say 'why' or 'where' or 'no', but just as he does not know why Ronon is here, he does not know what to say in response. He has a right to be confused, though, Radek thinks, because over the course of the previous six months, he and Ronon have, perhaps, exchanged maybe twenty words. Certainly he has never been asked to accompany Ronon anywhere.
Ronon seems to understand his uncertainty, though, because in what is probably a soft voice for him, he says, "Dr. McKay asked me to bring you to the infirmary. Sheppard is alone now. Now would be a good time for you to see him."
And now it is not a lack of words that stalls Radek's tongue, it is that there are too many. Denials, feigned confusion, as he and the Colonel have been very careful, so very, very careful over the last few months. It is rule number one of their relationship: careful, no unnecessary risks.
But somehow, Ronon knows.
And Rodney too, it seems, given that he was the one to suggest Ronon's presence here in front of Radek in the first place. There are too many things to say, things that he should say, but he is weak. He is a weak man with the thing that he wants most right now presented to him on a golden platter and it is physically impossible for him to say no. To make his excuses. To claim exhaustion or too much work, especially when Ronon and Rodney both know the truth and would know his excuses to be lies.
Deliberately he stands. Just as slowly, he says, "Okay, I will come."
Ronon nods and heads for the door of the lab, but now that Radek is in the midst of this opportunity, he is no longer slow. He is walking quickly through the doors and out into the hallway and it is only Ronon's presence at his side that keeps him from running, he thinks, because the man has a large, long stride, but still, he is not moving nearly as fast as Radek would like him to.
Still, they make it to the infirmary in what is probably record time, even if to Radek it does not feel so, and then they are face to face with Teyla and Rodney. Teyla, who is smiling kindly at Radek, and yes, Radek can tell, she knows, too. Rodney, who is looking tired and a little impatient, a little annoyed.
"Took you long enough," he says, to Ronon, not Radek, but there is not time for either one of them to respond before Rodney is saying, "Come, come. I told him that you were on your way."
Rodney walks quickly towards the doors of the infirmary, Radek trailing in his wake, and it is once they are inside that Radek says, "Rodney, I--"
The other man turns to Radek and says, "I've known for a while, of course. I mean, there are only so many times that Sheppard could show up late at night in the lab, ostensibly to talk to me, when he knew that I was going to be off in other parts of the city, doing other things. When he knew very well he could track me down there."
Again, Radek finds himself without words. He opens his mouth, closes it, but then Rodney raises a hand and gestures at the curtain, which Sheppard is apparently behind.
"Take your time," Rodney says. "We'll be outside."
Radek cannot do more than nod, so that is what he does, and then he is alone in the infirmary. He looks back at the curtain, at the shadow of the bed behind it, of the body lying there, and he is back to moving slowly again. One foot in front of the other, forward, forward, forward, until he can reach up with a hesitant hand to pull the white cloth back, to step inside the cordoned off area.
It is when he sees the Colonel-John-actually lying in front of him that he feels some of the tension begin to leave his body. Tension that he'd thought had all drained away earlier, when he first heard news that the Colonel was alive, whole. His knees, suddenly, are weak, and it takes all that remains of his strength to reach out for the chair that has been placed next to the bed, to pull it a few inches towards him. He sits, closes his eyes for a moment and breathes a silent prayer, and when he opens them again, John is looking at him.
"Hey," John says.
His voice is rough, weak, dry, and it is the most wonderful thing that Radek has heard in three days, since the first unscheduled Gate activation alarms had sounded. Since Rodney and Teyla and Ronon came back through the Stargate, talking of caves and knives and Sheppard missing and how they needed a rescue team *right now* and it was all that Radek had been able to do to make it to the restroom before he threw up.
Now, he says, "Hi." He raises one shaky hand to John's forehead, wiping back hair that is still damp from a shower. There is a cut over his eyebrow, and Radek rubs his thumb over the butterfly bandage, then traces the line of the black eye below. He trails one finger over John's swollen bottom lip, then says, "Hi, yes, hi."
John turns his face towards the knuckles that Radek is trailing over his cheek, capturing his hand against the pillow, and now it is John's eyes that are closed. It is John who is breathing him in, and John, Radek realizes suddenly, has probably spent the last three days wondering the same things that Radek has been wondering, except that Radek spent the time with friends, in Atlantis, where as John was at the mercy of the cave people, all alone.
Suddenly, it is too much.
Radek feels the lump form in his throat, and then he is leaning his head forward, burying his face against John's neck. He can smell the generic soap and the bleach on the sheets, and as Radek lies there, he feels John press a cheek to the crown of his head, and now it is John saying, "Hey, it's alright. I'm alright."
Radek nods, but still he cannot lift his face. He cannot look at John, not yet.
Instead he says, his words muffled, "Rodney sent Ronon for me. I could not think of an excuse to come-I had no reason to come. I have been in my lab all day, because I could not stand to be in the control room when they brought you back. To be there and not be able to go to you. And then there was no reason for me to be here. But your team, they brought me. They know."
John lifts his hand, the one that is now wrapped in a cast, and reaches across his own body to tap Radek on the shoulder, to let fingers trail across the back of Radek’s neck.
"They’re smart people, my team," John says. "They know me too well." Then, after a beat. "That okay?"
Radek nods. It has to be, and he is not the one that they’ve been keeping their relationship quiet for, after all. It is then that he lifts his head, lets himself look at John again.
"I thought-" He swallows. "I thought, when you did not come back through the Gate. I thought-" The words will not come. He has been thinking them for three days, but still he cannot vocalize them.
"I know," John says. "I thought, too."
Then with his plaster wrapped arm, he reaches up to pull Radek back down to him. He brings their lips together, gently, although Radek knows that it must still hurt. It is little more than a brush, but as John encourages Radek’s head back down to his pillow, Radek thinks that it is enough.
For now, it is enough.
Pairing: Sheppard/Zelenka
Rating: G
Spoilers: General S2
Disclaimer: So not mine.
Summary: For now, it is enough.
Author's Notes: For visionshadows on the occasion of her birthday. Happy birthday, hon! I hope you enjoy!
When Radek raises his head up from the desk again, Ronon is standing in front of him. The light from the hallway is behind the man and his shadow, large and bulky, is covering Radek with darkness. His eyes are reflecting the red and green and blue lights of the lab equipment and Radek watches, motionless, as he blinks once, twice, and then says, "Come."
Now it is Radek's turn to blink, and he does so. Three times, four, before Ronon says again, "*Come.*"
Radek opens his mouth, perhaps to say 'why' or 'where' or 'no', but just as he does not know why Ronon is here, he does not know what to say in response. He has a right to be confused, though, Radek thinks, because over the course of the previous six months, he and Ronon have, perhaps, exchanged maybe twenty words. Certainly he has never been asked to accompany Ronon anywhere.
Ronon seems to understand his uncertainty, though, because in what is probably a soft voice for him, he says, "Dr. McKay asked me to bring you to the infirmary. Sheppard is alone now. Now would be a good time for you to see him."
And now it is not a lack of words that stalls Radek's tongue, it is that there are too many. Denials, feigned confusion, as he and the Colonel have been very careful, so very, very careful over the last few months. It is rule number one of their relationship: careful, no unnecessary risks.
But somehow, Ronon knows.
And Rodney too, it seems, given that he was the one to suggest Ronon's presence here in front of Radek in the first place. There are too many things to say, things that he should say, but he is weak. He is a weak man with the thing that he wants most right now presented to him on a golden platter and it is physically impossible for him to say no. To make his excuses. To claim exhaustion or too much work, especially when Ronon and Rodney both know the truth and would know his excuses to be lies.
Deliberately he stands. Just as slowly, he says, "Okay, I will come."
Ronon nods and heads for the door of the lab, but now that Radek is in the midst of this opportunity, he is no longer slow. He is walking quickly through the doors and out into the hallway and it is only Ronon's presence at his side that keeps him from running, he thinks, because the man has a large, long stride, but still, he is not moving nearly as fast as Radek would like him to.
Still, they make it to the infirmary in what is probably record time, even if to Radek it does not feel so, and then they are face to face with Teyla and Rodney. Teyla, who is smiling kindly at Radek, and yes, Radek can tell, she knows, too. Rodney, who is looking tired and a little impatient, a little annoyed.
"Took you long enough," he says, to Ronon, not Radek, but there is not time for either one of them to respond before Rodney is saying, "Come, come. I told him that you were on your way."
Rodney walks quickly towards the doors of the infirmary, Radek trailing in his wake, and it is once they are inside that Radek says, "Rodney, I--"
The other man turns to Radek and says, "I've known for a while, of course. I mean, there are only so many times that Sheppard could show up late at night in the lab, ostensibly to talk to me, when he knew that I was going to be off in other parts of the city, doing other things. When he knew very well he could track me down there."
Again, Radek finds himself without words. He opens his mouth, closes it, but then Rodney raises a hand and gestures at the curtain, which Sheppard is apparently behind.
"Take your time," Rodney says. "We'll be outside."
Radek cannot do more than nod, so that is what he does, and then he is alone in the infirmary. He looks back at the curtain, at the shadow of the bed behind it, of the body lying there, and he is back to moving slowly again. One foot in front of the other, forward, forward, forward, until he can reach up with a hesitant hand to pull the white cloth back, to step inside the cordoned off area.
It is when he sees the Colonel-John-actually lying in front of him that he feels some of the tension begin to leave his body. Tension that he'd thought had all drained away earlier, when he first heard news that the Colonel was alive, whole. His knees, suddenly, are weak, and it takes all that remains of his strength to reach out for the chair that has been placed next to the bed, to pull it a few inches towards him. He sits, closes his eyes for a moment and breathes a silent prayer, and when he opens them again, John is looking at him.
"Hey," John says.
His voice is rough, weak, dry, and it is the most wonderful thing that Radek has heard in three days, since the first unscheduled Gate activation alarms had sounded. Since Rodney and Teyla and Ronon came back through the Stargate, talking of caves and knives and Sheppard missing and how they needed a rescue team *right now* and it was all that Radek had been able to do to make it to the restroom before he threw up.
Now, he says, "Hi." He raises one shaky hand to John's forehead, wiping back hair that is still damp from a shower. There is a cut over his eyebrow, and Radek rubs his thumb over the butterfly bandage, then traces the line of the black eye below. He trails one finger over John's swollen bottom lip, then says, "Hi, yes, hi."
John turns his face towards the knuckles that Radek is trailing over his cheek, capturing his hand against the pillow, and now it is John's eyes that are closed. It is John who is breathing him in, and John, Radek realizes suddenly, has probably spent the last three days wondering the same things that Radek has been wondering, except that Radek spent the time with friends, in Atlantis, where as John was at the mercy of the cave people, all alone.
Suddenly, it is too much.
Radek feels the lump form in his throat, and then he is leaning his head forward, burying his face against John's neck. He can smell the generic soap and the bleach on the sheets, and as Radek lies there, he feels John press a cheek to the crown of his head, and now it is John saying, "Hey, it's alright. I'm alright."
Radek nods, but still he cannot lift his face. He cannot look at John, not yet.
Instead he says, his words muffled, "Rodney sent Ronon for me. I could not think of an excuse to come-I had no reason to come. I have been in my lab all day, because I could not stand to be in the control room when they brought you back. To be there and not be able to go to you. And then there was no reason for me to be here. But your team, they brought me. They know."
John lifts his hand, the one that is now wrapped in a cast, and reaches across his own body to tap Radek on the shoulder, to let fingers trail across the back of Radek’s neck.
"They’re smart people, my team," John says. "They know me too well." Then, after a beat. "That okay?"
Radek nods. It has to be, and he is not the one that they’ve been keeping their relationship quiet for, after all. It is then that he lifts his head, lets himself look at John again.
"I thought-" He swallows. "I thought, when you did not come back through the Gate. I thought-" The words will not come. He has been thinking them for three days, but still he cannot vocalize them.
"I know," John says. "I thought, too."
Then with his plaster wrapped arm, he reaches up to pull Radek back down to him. He brings their lips together, gently, although Radek knows that it must still hurt. It is little more than a brush, but as John encourages Radek’s head back down to his pillow, Radek thinks that it is enough.
For now, it is enough.