LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES...CHAPTER 20.2/???
Title: Love Knows No Boundaries
Author: tikibuddy91
Characters: BAP (Himchan and Yongguk), SECRET (Jieun and Hyosung)
Word Count: 5360
Genre: AU, Humor, Drama
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Summary: College Students. Blind, Deaf, and Mute. Their lives deal with the ups and downs, like a roller coaster. They find relationships and companionships. Life does not always have a happy ending, but they can try to get their own.
Author Note: Hyosung and Himchan on a date. Awkward. Jieun and Hyosung put their plans to action. Himchan finally realizes his feelings.
Sign Language Guide
Families
Chapter 17 Part 1 | Chapter 17 Part 2 | Chapter 17 Part 3 | Chapter 18 Part 1 | Chapter 18 Part 2 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 Part 1 |
When the couple returns to the school, Hyosung sees Jieun standing near the car parking lot, a little further away from the entrance gate. She is waving with a sad smile on her face as Yongguk sits at the bench behind her, watching her sadly. Hyosung wonders if Jieun had already broken up with him. She parks her car, glancing at Himchan who is staring out into space, unsure of how to bring himself to talk to Yongguk. Hyosung grabs Himchan’s hand and squeezes it gently, saying, “It’ll be okay, Himchannie.” She moves to open her door when Himchan asks a question.
“Are we breaking up?”
Hyosung stops and looks at Himchan, biting her lip.
“Are we, Hyosung-noona?” Himchan looks at Hyosung with a defeated gaze. Hyosung sighs before gathering herself to say the word.
“Yes.”
Interestingly enough, Himchan continues to look at her.
“Did you plan this with Jieun?”
Hyosung falters before continuing on, “Y-yes. I did.”
“Why? Are we not working well together? Do you want us to still be friends after this?”
“Yes, Himchannie. I’ve told you before, and I’ve promised to you. Even though we are breaking up today as a couple, we’re still best friends anyway. To be honest, it was better being best friends with you than in a relationship with you, no offense. You had Jongup to look after and sometimes I feel like I’m in the way. As a best friend, I know that there’s nothing for me to interfere and that I’m still looking after you guys like a noona should.” Hyosung chuckles weakly.
To her surprise, Himchan is also chuckling. “I must have been a horrible boyfriend, haven’t I?”
“No, you haven’t. You’re still young, you’ve been a wonderful boyfriend. Maybe I’m not the right one for you. I mean, who knows, maybe you’ll do great with Yongguk. Come on, they look like they’ve been waiting for us.” Hyosung and Himchan get out of her car before walking over to Jieun.
“Hi, unnie. Himchannie-goon.” Jieun smiles at the pair. “Where did you guys go?”
“Café,” Hyosung replies simply. “I think someone needs to do an apology and that someone over there needs to hear it.” She glances at Himchan, who is staring at Yongguk. She notices how his expression slowly fades from hardness to softness. She assumes that Himchan must be letting the fact that Yongguk is bisexual sinking in deep to his mind.
Jieun nods and glances at Himchan, “Would you like to go on and meet Yongguk at the bench or should I bring him over?” She looks behind to check on Yongguk, who is staring at the ground. “I broke it off with him earlier, just before you guys arrived. He took it alright; there was not much yelling or anything, hahaha,” Jieun chuckles weakly. Hyosung smiles halfheartedly, getting the joke since Yongguk tends to be loud and brash sometimes, according to Jieun and Hana, but the gals know this is not the time for joking.
Himchan gives a faint nod, “I’ll just go over to him, Jieun-ah. Would you guys mind giving us pr-“
“Privacy? No problem, we’ll be in my car, chatting about girl stuff you boys wouldn’t understand,” Hyosung smiles as she grabs Jieun’s wrist and the two girls head to her car, giggling, looking back at Himchan. “We’ll be sure to check up on you guys though.”
Himchan nods and takes a deep breath. Letting out a deep sigh, he makes his way to Yongguk.
“Yongguk?”
- - -
Yongguk is staring at the floor, brooding over the recent events that had happened between Jieun and himself.
- A while ago -
Jieun was sitting next to him when she got the phone call, looking a bit puzzled. Yongguk was watching her with concern, and was about to lean close to Jieun to see who is calling, but Jieun hid her cell phone away from his vision. Confused, Yongguk blinks at Jieun’s hasty action, though Jieun herself looked regretful before answering the call.
“Hello?” Jieun’s eyes suddenly widen. “Oh shoot, okay, Yongguk-ah. Hold on, it’s my mom.” Jieun stands up suddenly, about to move.
“But whe-“
“I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere.”
“Are you sure?” Jieun nods, before turning around, cradling her phone in her hands as she hurries to find a private place. Yongguk is confused, staring after her, but in the end, lowers his eyes to the ground, sighing as he waits for her.
Some time later on, Yongguk looks up to see Jieun returning, with a sad look on her face. She seats herself at the bench, stowing her closed phone in her purse under the bench, and takes Yongguk’s large hands into her own.
“Yongguk, it’s time you need to stop torturing Himchan and end this.”
“Wha…what are you talking about? End what? What’s your mom got to do with this?”
“Huh? Oh, er…my mom…ran into Himchan the other day, and she wanted to check up on him today, because he was not feeling well yesterday. Anyway, right, Himchan.” Jieun tucks a lock of hair behind her ear.
“Well, you see, it’s about us. Don’t get me wrong, I loved you as much as you loved me, and I’m thankful that you found me and still stuck with me even when other girls were chasing after you. But, I think, it’s time we need to end this. Face it; even though you’re bisexual, although I’m a little older than you, I’m still your sister’s friend. I have to admit, I still feel a little weird about the age gap between us.
“When I saw Himchan with you, I saw how head over heels you were for him. You were like that with me; no, we were both like that. But that’s all in the past. I heard from your sister when she said she could see how love-struck you were whenever you mentioned his name. I saw the determination in your eyes wanting to get Himchan’s love. The very same determination you had with me when I was just a noona to you. I don't see that happening with me anymore.”
“Babe…is this about making me finish my project with Himchan so we can get it over and done with?”
Jieun feels affronted, bulging her eyes at her boyfriend. “Wha…do you think this is a game?” - “What, no, I don’t!” Yongguk exclaims - “Well then, Yongguk, open your eyes.” She snaps. Yongguk falls silent.
“Himchan must have had a reason to kiss you. He must have felt something between the two of you. At that moment, you only saw what you wanted to see, whether if it was a bromance or Himchan falling for you, but you didn’t feel what Himchan was feeling at the moment. You need to clear up on your feelings for him; you need to tell him your true feelings.”
Yongguk starts to feel irritated. “Are you breaking up with me so I can get together with Himchan, for your sake?”
Jieun sighs exasperatedly. “No, dammit, Yongguk. I’m breaking up with you because you’re miserable and he is, too. And both of your miseries are affecting Hyosung-unnie and I, too. You two need to make up and move forward together, without us. We’re sick of you two moping around in denial from each other.” Yongguk deflates and frowns.
“That…wasn’t your mom, was it? It was Hyosung-noona?”
Jieun softens her gaze before continuing, this time with a softer tone, “Hyosung-unnie and I thought it was best that you two talk it out and accept each others’ feelings, because it’s been so painfully obvious after all these weeks. The notebook, the lunches, the interactions you guys have with each other at campus and at home…”
- Back to the present -
Yongguk stares at the ground, thinking back to the times he had with Himchan. It is true that he enjoyed those times with Himchan; he has never been as daring with his flirtations to anyone, especially to a guy like Himchan in a public space, or made him feel more open and caring like Himchan does - not even, he admits, Jieun. With Jieun, he felt like the world was handed to him. He got what he wanted. With Himchan, it was all twists and turns and ups and downs that he was not ready to expect. He never expected Himchan to be so easy to tease, blushing one too many times, to be so dorky and yet so vulnerable…
“Yongguk?”
Yongguk looks up, widening his eyes at the sight of Himchan looking shy.
“Do…you mind if I join you there?”
Yongguk shakes his head quickly as he moves aside to make some space, not knowing that there is already more than enough space on the bench for Himchan. He looks back at the ground.
“So…” Himchan sighs, staring at the ground.
“So…” Yongguk parrots him softly, not sure what to say.
“My girlfriend broke up with me today.”
“So did mine…”
“I heard…”
“Did you?” Yongguk shifts his glance to Himchan.
“Yeah, from Jieun…”
“Ah…”
This staccato dialogue between them feels so heavily awkward, with the two of them expressing as few words as possible. Neither is ready to face each other just yet.
“Look, Yongguk,” Himchan shifts in his seat, turning to look at his friend, “I’m sorry for being…a butthole, or whatever I was being to you, today…and for the past few weeks. I’m sorry that we didn’t get the chance to continue working on our project when we should have done it. I’m sorry that I haven’t been a good friend to you and the group, not joining you guys for lunch without telling you why. I’m sor-”
“Shut it.”
Himchan shuts up, staring at Yongguk in shock.
“I’ve heard enough of your ‘sorry’s. How about you tell me what the kiss was about?”
Himchan feels nervous; he had hoped earlier that he could deal with that later but not right now.
“Was it your own doing?” Yongguk sees Himchan nod in the corner of his eyes. “Then why did you do it?”
“I didn’t mean to kiss you, it just happened out of the blue.”
“But you did kiss me, there must be a reason, Himchan. I know that I did not start the kiss.” Yongguk finally looks at Himchan, giving him a hard stare.
“You’re the one making me confused!” Himchan starts raising his voice.
“Confused with what? All I did was comfort you because you looked like you needed a hug and someone to be there for you at the time!”
“It’s your fault!” Himchan spats as he stands up quickly, staring down at Yongguk.
“My fault?!” Yongguk stands up and steps closer to Himchan. He can see the boldness faltering in Himchan’s eyes. “My fault for what?!?”
“For being bisexual!”
Yongguk gapes at Himchan. “Hold on a minute here. You’re blaming my sexual orientation on this? Do you know how idiotic you sound right now? You’re not even making sense!”
“Yes I am!”
“No, Himchan, you’re not.” Yongguk’s growls pair with his menacing eyes, and the sight intimidates Himchan, whose words get caught in his throat. “Tell me one thing at a time. Why did you kiss me? What did I do to make you confused? How is it my fault that I’m bisexual?”
- - -
“Oh dear, this isn’t looking good, Jieunnie…”
“I know, they’re so hard-headed…it’s like watching two lions or two rams in a conflict…”
Truth be told, Hyosung lied to Himchan when she said she and Jieun would be talking about girl stuff. They have been spying on Himchan and Yongguk the whole time from afar in their car.
Now, they see Yongguk and Himchan standing so close to each other, that their faces are only inches away from each other, yelling. Yongguk is jabbing at Himchan’s chest.
“Geez, they’re so close…why can’t they kiss right there?”
- - -
Himchan bites his lip, glaring at Yongguk. “I…” He stammers. “I…I kissed you because…I don’t know!” He turns away, crossing his arms and walking a bit further away from Yongguk. “Because I felt you understood me like no one else could, I felt that we shared something special. I trusted you with something private and I never felt so open with anyone… But I didn’t know if that was love or just something like affection that I had for you. I don’t know…”
Yongguk stares at Himchan’s back, flabbergasted.
Himchan continues, “What did you do to make me confused? Well, first of all” - Himchan whirls around and steps closer to Yongguk, jabbing his finger on Yongguk’s chest with every ‘you’ and ‘your’ he says - “it was your freaking flirtations that made me blush one too many times, and let me say this, I am not an easy one to blush; and then, you calling me ‘princess’ and all those other nicknames; and finally, you treating me like I’m worth being noticed by you.” Himchan drops his hand and his shoulders sag when his voice starts softening.
“I used to lay low in the shadows while everyone spoke highly of me and I didn’t want that kind of attention; and then you had to go and introduce me to your friends and I never thought myself to be someone worth hanging out with. You made me see life in a different way. That it was okay for me to be myself without any judgment, without any criticisms.”
Yongguk stands there, his eyes softly gazing at Himchan.
“How is it your fault that you’re bisexual? Well, again, you toyed with my emotions and you kept invading my mind, especially during classes.” Himchan closes his eyes and shakes his head. He says in hushed whispers, “God, do you even know how sexy your voice sounds? And your masculine charm and the charisma you have…they just ooze out of your body and I can’t even think straight with that body…” Himchan glares at Yongguk’s body.
Yongguk raises his eyebrows at Himchan’s true thoughts about him. He looks down at his clothes; it is just a baggy sleeveless shirt with a graphic design on it and navy blue jeans. He looks at Himchan. “Uhm…”
Himchan realizes after a few seconds that he spilled out his thoughts without knowing. “Oh fudge, see what I mean?” He facepalms. Yongguk only watches him in silence.
“Anyway, the notebook that you returned? It had your name written within my notes and I had not even noticed it until that class was over. Thank heavens you didn’t see it then, but great, I’m telling you this now. Also, that day when we first met, during lunch, I saw you signing with your friends, and I saw the real you. Right there, I started falling hard for you. The more things I discover about you, the more I fall in love with you. You were, and still are, so much fun to be around with, even with those cheesy jokes you make; your dedication to music, that I feel was similar to my dedication to my music; your easy-going personality that you had with your friends, especially towards Daehyun.” Himchan shakes his head slowly with a smile.
“If I looked past your cocky attitude and cheesy exterior, I saw the real Yongguk. I saw the person who was kind and caring to his friends and family, the person who was incredibly mindful of everything around him. In my whole life, my mind used to revolve around my one and only brother, the only family member I had, and it still does now. Well, mostly Jongup but there’s also Hyosung. It was like that before you came along. Before you came in and disrupted my world.“ Himchan feels tears welling up in his eyes, threatening to fall. He blinks away the tears.
“Himchan-ah…” Yongguk reaches out.
“No, not yet. See, there you go,” Himchan’s throat quivers as he points to Yongguk. “You called me that name again, ‘Himchan-ah’. It has been so long since I was called that name. So long since my parents passed away. I had not heard that nickname until you said it a few weeks back. Hyosung always calls me ‘Himchannie’ ‘cause we were best friends for a long time. When you said it, it was like I started to feel special to someone else, like how I felt special to my parents when they were alive… It felt so good to hear it…” He sniffles.
“Even though I didn’t want to work with you at first, my heart told me otherwise, that you were not just some cocky student who thought he could get away with an easy A. My heart told me that I was already falling in love with you. But I couldn’t believe it; I refused to believe it after all these years of being straight. I was straight, Yongguk, until I met you. You weren’t like any other guy I’ve met that could have stolen my heart.” Tears are forming once again in Himchan’s eyes.
“Somehow, you made me feel wanted, like someone who mattered. You’re such a mean bastard, Yongguk, you took my heart and I can’t get it back.” The tears start falling on Himchan’s cheeks, and Himchan hurries to wipe them off, looking down. “I hate you, Bang Yongguk…and I hate that I’m in love with you so much I don’t know what else to do…”
Himchan waits for the rejection to come…for the denial…for any bad sign to come his way.
Himchan gives a start when he feels warm arms surround his body. An arm across his shoulders…another arm across his lower back. He can smell Yongguk’s cologne and he tentatively wraps his arms around Yongguk’s built torso. He dares not to look at Yongguk, resting his eyes on Yongguk’s clothed shoulders.
The two of them stand in their embrace for a while, as the sounds of Himchan’s weeping turn to sniffling. Pulling away from Himchan a bit, Yongguk raises Himchan’s chin with his finger, making Himchan look into Yongguk’s eyes.
“Well, princess, ‘the courses of true love never did run smooth’…” Yongguk smiles.
Himchan chuckles, rolling his bloodshot eyes, “How true…Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream…”
Yongguk smiles and nods. “I’m glad I took your heart, Himchan-ah. Because you’re going to be stuck with me from now on. It’s about time, I’ve waited long enough for you to finally realize your feelings for me. ‘I would not wish any companion in the world but you’. Shakespeare’s The Tempest.”
Himchan pulls back slightly, giving Yongguk a weird, amused look. “Okay you need to stop with Shakespeare. Hahaha…It’s creepy how you’re the only one I know who reads Shakespeare and you’re confessing to me with all these lines that no one has ever spoken to me before…But when did you fall for me?”
“When I first laid my eyes on you.”
Himchan falls silent. “…Really?”
“Mm-hmm,” Yongguk leans his head closer to whisper in Himchan’s ear, grinning. “That first time when you stared at me, I was already thinking of naughty things to do to you. I think we can do this right now.” He pecks Himchan on the cheek.
Himchan recoils, staring at Yongguk in shock. “Bang. Yongguk. You. Pervert. Ugh, get away from me.” He squirms in Yongguk’s embrace as Yongguk continues to smile. Yongguk lowers his hands down Himchan’s back. Himchan lets out an involuntary shudder as he places his hands immediately on Yongguk’s chest. “Y-y-yah, Yo-ong-g-g-guk. Sssstop.”
Yongguk chortles, shaking his head as he brings Himchan’s body close to him. His hands pushing against Yongguk’s chest, he feels some muscles rippling underneath his shirt. Himchan lets out a moan before bringing his hand to cover his mouth, staring at him, astonished. “GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME. I’M NOT GONNA LET YOU DO THIS TO ME RIGHT HERE JUST YET.”
Yongguk looks at Himchan with an awed look. “Himchan-ah, are you telling me that we’ll do this somewhere else?”
“WHAT NO.” Himchan tries his best to get out of his trap, but the more he resists and moves in Yongguk’s arms, the more friction his body is having against Yongguk’s clothed body. Himchan continues to get weak at the contact.
“Y-Y-Yongguk, please, stop,” Himchan whimpers, feeling a hardening sensation in his pants. “I’m gonna have something that I really, really don’t want to have right now, not in public at least.”
That does it for Yongguk. He stares at Himchan in giddily astonishment. “Well, you’re the one who’s moving, I’m not doing much of the work here.”
Not wanting to continue to struggle in Yongguk’s embrace, Himchan bites his bottom lip, groaning. “I hate you, you nincompoop.”
“I love you, too, Himchan-ah.”
Himchan glances at Yongguk. “So…does this mean we’re…a couple now?”
Yongguk gazes at Himchan, “Let me think. You made a long confession to me a while ago, I confessed just now. We’re in an embrace. I just gave you a peck on the cheek. We’ve said our declarations. Does that sound like we’re a couple now to you, Himchan-ah?” Yongguk shows his gummy smile, his eyes crinkling.
Himchan smiles. “Yeah…I guess we are…” He stares at Yongguk’s lips, thinking back to when he first kissed him. “C-can…Can I kiss you?”
“Who said you couldn’t? And it’s ‘May I ki-‘”
“Oh be quiet, you.”
Yongguk and Himchan look into each other’s gleaming eyes before they slowly move their heads closer, tilting them in opposite directions to avoid collision. Yongguk is still smiling and he is chuckling a bit as Himchan slowly grins at their slow movement toward each other. They glance between each other’s eyes and lips before their eyes flutter close and they feel their lips lightly brushing then crashing into each other with a fierce determination.
It is heavenly bliss for Himchan when he feels Yongguk’s body heat as they are in an embrace once again, when he smells Yongguk’s cologne, and when he tastes the strawberries and chocolate in Yongguk’s mouth…
“YEAHHH, HIMCHAN AND YONGGUK!!”
“Jieun-ah, hush! You’re interrupting their moment!!”
The shouts cause Yongguk and Himchan to break apart and look around to see the gals standing outside the car, Jieun jumping up and down in excitement and Hyosung trying to calm her down. The girls freeze in their tracks and look at each other before huddling away to get inside Hyosung’s car.
Yongguk snickers, “Apparently they’ve been rooting for us to get together. Whaddya know…”
Himchan laughs, nodding in agreement.
“Hey…Himchan-ah?”
Himchan looks at Yongguk, concerned at the uncertain tone of Yongguk’s voice.
“I knew about the notebook…When you left and I couldn’t find you, I looked into it because I thought I would find your contact information to return it to you.” Himchan’s heart starts racing as Yongguk continues. “But curiosity got the best of me when I looked to your notes that day so I could review the lecture, and I found your doodles…and my name in there.” Yongguk smiles weakly.
Himchan stares, at loss for words.
“W-well..,why did you not tell me that earlier?!” Himchan hisses at Yongguk. “Then we wouldn’t have to go through all of this confession today, gosh, Bang Yongguk…I can’t believe y-”
Yongguk silences Himchan with a breath-taking kiss, leaving him breathless and scowling.
“Damn you, Bang Yongguk.”
Author: tikibuddy91
Characters: BAP (Himchan and Yongguk), SECRET (Jieun and Hyosung)
Word Count: 5360
Genre: AU, Humor, Drama
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Summary: College Students. Blind, Deaf, and Mute. Their lives deal with the ups and downs, like a roller coaster. They find relationships and companionships. Life does not always have a happy ending, but they can try to get their own.
Author Note: Hyosung and Himchan on a date. Awkward. Jieun and Hyosung put their plans to action. Himchan finally realizes his feelings.
Sign Language Guide
Families
Chapter 17 Part 1 | Chapter 17 Part 2 | Chapter 17 Part 3 | Chapter 18 Part 1 | Chapter 18 Part 2 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 Part 1 |
When the couple returns to the school, Hyosung sees Jieun standing near the car parking lot, a little further away from the entrance gate. She is waving with a sad smile on her face as Yongguk sits at the bench behind her, watching her sadly. Hyosung wonders if Jieun had already broken up with him. She parks her car, glancing at Himchan who is staring out into space, unsure of how to bring himself to talk to Yongguk. Hyosung grabs Himchan’s hand and squeezes it gently, saying, “It’ll be okay, Himchannie.” She moves to open her door when Himchan asks a question.
“Are we breaking up?”
Hyosung stops and looks at Himchan, biting her lip.
“Are we, Hyosung-noona?” Himchan looks at Hyosung with a defeated gaze. Hyosung sighs before gathering herself to say the word.
“Yes.”
Interestingly enough, Himchan continues to look at her.
“Did you plan this with Jieun?”
Hyosung falters before continuing on, “Y-yes. I did.”
“Why? Are we not working well together? Do you want us to still be friends after this?”
“Yes, Himchannie. I’ve told you before, and I’ve promised to you. Even though we are breaking up today as a couple, we’re still best friends anyway. To be honest, it was better being best friends with you than in a relationship with you, no offense. You had Jongup to look after and sometimes I feel like I’m in the way. As a best friend, I know that there’s nothing for me to interfere and that I’m still looking after you guys like a noona should.” Hyosung chuckles weakly.
To her surprise, Himchan is also chuckling. “I must have been a horrible boyfriend, haven’t I?”
“No, you haven’t. You’re still young, you’ve been a wonderful boyfriend. Maybe I’m not the right one for you. I mean, who knows, maybe you’ll do great with Yongguk. Come on, they look like they’ve been waiting for us.” Hyosung and Himchan get out of her car before walking over to Jieun.
“Hi, unnie. Himchannie-goon.” Jieun smiles at the pair. “Where did you guys go?”
“Café,” Hyosung replies simply. “I think someone needs to do an apology and that someone over there needs to hear it.” She glances at Himchan, who is staring at Yongguk. She notices how his expression slowly fades from hardness to softness. She assumes that Himchan must be letting the fact that Yongguk is bisexual sinking in deep to his mind.
Jieun nods and glances at Himchan, “Would you like to go on and meet Yongguk at the bench or should I bring him over?” She looks behind to check on Yongguk, who is staring at the ground. “I broke it off with him earlier, just before you guys arrived. He took it alright; there was not much yelling or anything, hahaha,” Jieun chuckles weakly. Hyosung smiles halfheartedly, getting the joke since Yongguk tends to be loud and brash sometimes, according to Jieun and Hana, but the gals know this is not the time for joking.
Himchan gives a faint nod, “I’ll just go over to him, Jieun-ah. Would you guys mind giving us pr-“
“Privacy? No problem, we’ll be in my car, chatting about girl stuff you boys wouldn’t understand,” Hyosung smiles as she grabs Jieun’s wrist and the two girls head to her car, giggling, looking back at Himchan. “We’ll be sure to check up on you guys though.”
Himchan nods and takes a deep breath. Letting out a deep sigh, he makes his way to Yongguk.
“Yongguk?”
- - -
Yongguk is staring at the floor, brooding over the recent events that had happened between Jieun and himself.
- A while ago -
Jieun was sitting next to him when she got the phone call, looking a bit puzzled. Yongguk was watching her with concern, and was about to lean close to Jieun to see who is calling, but Jieun hid her cell phone away from his vision. Confused, Yongguk blinks at Jieun’s hasty action, though Jieun herself looked regretful before answering the call.
“Hello?” Jieun’s eyes suddenly widen. “Oh shoot, okay, Yongguk-ah. Hold on, it’s my mom.” Jieun stands up suddenly, about to move.
“But whe-“
“I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere.”
“Are you sure?” Jieun nods, before turning around, cradling her phone in her hands as she hurries to find a private place. Yongguk is confused, staring after her, but in the end, lowers his eyes to the ground, sighing as he waits for her.
Some time later on, Yongguk looks up to see Jieun returning, with a sad look on her face. She seats herself at the bench, stowing her closed phone in her purse under the bench, and takes Yongguk’s large hands into her own.
“Yongguk, it’s time you need to stop torturing Himchan and end this.”
“Wha…what are you talking about? End what? What’s your mom got to do with this?”
“Huh? Oh, er…my mom…ran into Himchan the other day, and she wanted to check up on him today, because he was not feeling well yesterday. Anyway, right, Himchan.” Jieun tucks a lock of hair behind her ear.
“Well, you see, it’s about us. Don’t get me wrong, I loved you as much as you loved me, and I’m thankful that you found me and still stuck with me even when other girls were chasing after you. But, I think, it’s time we need to end this. Face it; even though you’re bisexual, although I’m a little older than you, I’m still your sister’s friend. I have to admit, I still feel a little weird about the age gap between us.
“When I saw Himchan with you, I saw how head over heels you were for him. You were like that with me; no, we were both like that. But that’s all in the past. I heard from your sister when she said she could see how love-struck you were whenever you mentioned his name. I saw the determination in your eyes wanting to get Himchan’s love. The very same determination you had with me when I was just a noona to you. I don't see that happening with me anymore.”
“Babe…is this about making me finish my project with Himchan so we can get it over and done with?”
Jieun feels affronted, bulging her eyes at her boyfriend. “Wha…do you think this is a game?” - “What, no, I don’t!” Yongguk exclaims - “Well then, Yongguk, open your eyes.” She snaps. Yongguk falls silent.
“Himchan must have had a reason to kiss you. He must have felt something between the two of you. At that moment, you only saw what you wanted to see, whether if it was a bromance or Himchan falling for you, but you didn’t feel what Himchan was feeling at the moment. You need to clear up on your feelings for him; you need to tell him your true feelings.”
Yongguk starts to feel irritated. “Are you breaking up with me so I can get together with Himchan, for your sake?”
Jieun sighs exasperatedly. “No, dammit, Yongguk. I’m breaking up with you because you’re miserable and he is, too. And both of your miseries are affecting Hyosung-unnie and I, too. You two need to make up and move forward together, without us. We’re sick of you two moping around in denial from each other.” Yongguk deflates and frowns.
“That…wasn’t your mom, was it? It was Hyosung-noona?”
Jieun softens her gaze before continuing, this time with a softer tone, “Hyosung-unnie and I thought it was best that you two talk it out and accept each others’ feelings, because it’s been so painfully obvious after all these weeks. The notebook, the lunches, the interactions you guys have with each other at campus and at home…”
- Back to the present -
Yongguk stares at the ground, thinking back to the times he had with Himchan. It is true that he enjoyed those times with Himchan; he has never been as daring with his flirtations to anyone, especially to a guy like Himchan in a public space, or made him feel more open and caring like Himchan does - not even, he admits, Jieun. With Jieun, he felt like the world was handed to him. He got what he wanted. With Himchan, it was all twists and turns and ups and downs that he was not ready to expect. He never expected Himchan to be so easy to tease, blushing one too many times, to be so dorky and yet so vulnerable…
“Yongguk?”
Yongguk looks up, widening his eyes at the sight of Himchan looking shy.
“Do…you mind if I join you there?”
Yongguk shakes his head quickly as he moves aside to make some space, not knowing that there is already more than enough space on the bench for Himchan. He looks back at the ground.
“So…” Himchan sighs, staring at the ground.
“So…” Yongguk parrots him softly, not sure what to say.
“My girlfriend broke up with me today.”
“So did mine…”
“I heard…”
“Did you?” Yongguk shifts his glance to Himchan.
“Yeah, from Jieun…”
“Ah…”
This staccato dialogue between them feels so heavily awkward, with the two of them expressing as few words as possible. Neither is ready to face each other just yet.
“Look, Yongguk,” Himchan shifts in his seat, turning to look at his friend, “I’m sorry for being…a butthole, or whatever I was being to you, today…and for the past few weeks. I’m sorry that we didn’t get the chance to continue working on our project when we should have done it. I’m sorry that I haven’t been a good friend to you and the group, not joining you guys for lunch without telling you why. I’m sor-”
“Shut it.”
Himchan shuts up, staring at Yongguk in shock.
“I’ve heard enough of your ‘sorry’s. How about you tell me what the kiss was about?”
Himchan feels nervous; he had hoped earlier that he could deal with that later but not right now.
“Was it your own doing?” Yongguk sees Himchan nod in the corner of his eyes. “Then why did you do it?”
“I didn’t mean to kiss you, it just happened out of the blue.”
“But you did kiss me, there must be a reason, Himchan. I know that I did not start the kiss.” Yongguk finally looks at Himchan, giving him a hard stare.
“You’re the one making me confused!” Himchan starts raising his voice.
“Confused with what? All I did was comfort you because you looked like you needed a hug and someone to be there for you at the time!”
“It’s your fault!” Himchan spats as he stands up quickly, staring down at Yongguk.
“My fault?!” Yongguk stands up and steps closer to Himchan. He can see the boldness faltering in Himchan’s eyes. “My fault for what?!?”
“For being bisexual!”
Yongguk gapes at Himchan. “Hold on a minute here. You’re blaming my sexual orientation on this? Do you know how idiotic you sound right now? You’re not even making sense!”
“Yes I am!”
“No, Himchan, you’re not.” Yongguk’s growls pair with his menacing eyes, and the sight intimidates Himchan, whose words get caught in his throat. “Tell me one thing at a time. Why did you kiss me? What did I do to make you confused? How is it my fault that I’m bisexual?”
- - -
“Oh dear, this isn’t looking good, Jieunnie…”
“I know, they’re so hard-headed…it’s like watching two lions or two rams in a conflict…”
Truth be told, Hyosung lied to Himchan when she said she and Jieun would be talking about girl stuff. They have been spying on Himchan and Yongguk the whole time from afar in their car.
Now, they see Yongguk and Himchan standing so close to each other, that their faces are only inches away from each other, yelling. Yongguk is jabbing at Himchan’s chest.
“Geez, they’re so close…why can’t they kiss right there?”
- - -
Himchan bites his lip, glaring at Yongguk. “I…” He stammers. “I…I kissed you because…I don’t know!” He turns away, crossing his arms and walking a bit further away from Yongguk. “Because I felt you understood me like no one else could, I felt that we shared something special. I trusted you with something private and I never felt so open with anyone… But I didn’t know if that was love or just something like affection that I had for you. I don’t know…”
Yongguk stares at Himchan’s back, flabbergasted.
Himchan continues, “What did you do to make me confused? Well, first of all” - Himchan whirls around and steps closer to Yongguk, jabbing his finger on Yongguk’s chest with every ‘you’ and ‘your’ he says - “it was your freaking flirtations that made me blush one too many times, and let me say this, I am not an easy one to blush; and then, you calling me ‘princess’ and all those other nicknames; and finally, you treating me like I’m worth being noticed by you.” Himchan drops his hand and his shoulders sag when his voice starts softening.
“I used to lay low in the shadows while everyone spoke highly of me and I didn’t want that kind of attention; and then you had to go and introduce me to your friends and I never thought myself to be someone worth hanging out with. You made me see life in a different way. That it was okay for me to be myself without any judgment, without any criticisms.”
Yongguk stands there, his eyes softly gazing at Himchan.
“How is it your fault that you’re bisexual? Well, again, you toyed with my emotions and you kept invading my mind, especially during classes.” Himchan closes his eyes and shakes his head. He says in hushed whispers, “God, do you even know how sexy your voice sounds? And your masculine charm and the charisma you have…they just ooze out of your body and I can’t even think straight with that body…” Himchan glares at Yongguk’s body.
Yongguk raises his eyebrows at Himchan’s true thoughts about him. He looks down at his clothes; it is just a baggy sleeveless shirt with a graphic design on it and navy blue jeans. He looks at Himchan. “Uhm…”
Himchan realizes after a few seconds that he spilled out his thoughts without knowing. “Oh fudge, see what I mean?” He facepalms. Yongguk only watches him in silence.
“Anyway, the notebook that you returned? It had your name written within my notes and I had not even noticed it until that class was over. Thank heavens you didn’t see it then, but great, I’m telling you this now. Also, that day when we first met, during lunch, I saw you signing with your friends, and I saw the real you. Right there, I started falling hard for you. The more things I discover about you, the more I fall in love with you. You were, and still are, so much fun to be around with, even with those cheesy jokes you make; your dedication to music, that I feel was similar to my dedication to my music; your easy-going personality that you had with your friends, especially towards Daehyun.” Himchan shakes his head slowly with a smile.
“If I looked past your cocky attitude and cheesy exterior, I saw the real Yongguk. I saw the person who was kind and caring to his friends and family, the person who was incredibly mindful of everything around him. In my whole life, my mind used to revolve around my one and only brother, the only family member I had, and it still does now. Well, mostly Jongup but there’s also Hyosung. It was like that before you came along. Before you came in and disrupted my world.“ Himchan feels tears welling up in his eyes, threatening to fall. He blinks away the tears.
“Himchan-ah…” Yongguk reaches out.
“No, not yet. See, there you go,” Himchan’s throat quivers as he points to Yongguk. “You called me that name again, ‘Himchan-ah’. It has been so long since I was called that name. So long since my parents passed away. I had not heard that nickname until you said it a few weeks back. Hyosung always calls me ‘Himchannie’ ‘cause we were best friends for a long time. When you said it, it was like I started to feel special to someone else, like how I felt special to my parents when they were alive… It felt so good to hear it…” He sniffles.
“Even though I didn’t want to work with you at first, my heart told me otherwise, that you were not just some cocky student who thought he could get away with an easy A. My heart told me that I was already falling in love with you. But I couldn’t believe it; I refused to believe it after all these years of being straight. I was straight, Yongguk, until I met you. You weren’t like any other guy I’ve met that could have stolen my heart.” Tears are forming once again in Himchan’s eyes.
“Somehow, you made me feel wanted, like someone who mattered. You’re such a mean bastard, Yongguk, you took my heart and I can’t get it back.” The tears start falling on Himchan’s cheeks, and Himchan hurries to wipe them off, looking down. “I hate you, Bang Yongguk…and I hate that I’m in love with you so much I don’t know what else to do…”
Himchan waits for the rejection to come…for the denial…for any bad sign to come his way.
Himchan gives a start when he feels warm arms surround his body. An arm across his shoulders…another arm across his lower back. He can smell Yongguk’s cologne and he tentatively wraps his arms around Yongguk’s built torso. He dares not to look at Yongguk, resting his eyes on Yongguk’s clothed shoulders.
The two of them stand in their embrace for a while, as the sounds of Himchan’s weeping turn to sniffling. Pulling away from Himchan a bit, Yongguk raises Himchan’s chin with his finger, making Himchan look into Yongguk’s eyes.
“Well, princess, ‘the courses of true love never did run smooth’…” Yongguk smiles.
Himchan chuckles, rolling his bloodshot eyes, “How true…Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream…”
Yongguk smiles and nods. “I’m glad I took your heart, Himchan-ah. Because you’re going to be stuck with me from now on. It’s about time, I’ve waited long enough for you to finally realize your feelings for me. ‘I would not wish any companion in the world but you’. Shakespeare’s The Tempest.”
Himchan pulls back slightly, giving Yongguk a weird, amused look. “Okay you need to stop with Shakespeare. Hahaha…It’s creepy how you’re the only one I know who reads Shakespeare and you’re confessing to me with all these lines that no one has ever spoken to me before…But when did you fall for me?”
“When I first laid my eyes on you.”
Himchan falls silent. “…Really?”
“Mm-hmm,” Yongguk leans his head closer to whisper in Himchan’s ear, grinning. “That first time when you stared at me, I was already thinking of naughty things to do to you. I think we can do this right now.” He pecks Himchan on the cheek.
Himchan recoils, staring at Yongguk in shock. “Bang. Yongguk. You. Pervert. Ugh, get away from me.” He squirms in Yongguk’s embrace as Yongguk continues to smile. Yongguk lowers his hands down Himchan’s back. Himchan lets out an involuntary shudder as he places his hands immediately on Yongguk’s chest. “Y-y-yah, Yo-ong-g-g-guk. Sssstop.”
Yongguk chortles, shaking his head as he brings Himchan’s body close to him. His hands pushing against Yongguk’s chest, he feels some muscles rippling underneath his shirt. Himchan lets out a moan before bringing his hand to cover his mouth, staring at him, astonished. “GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME. I’M NOT GONNA LET YOU DO THIS TO ME RIGHT HERE JUST YET.”
Yongguk looks at Himchan with an awed look. “Himchan-ah, are you telling me that we’ll do this somewhere else?”
“WHAT NO.” Himchan tries his best to get out of his trap, but the more he resists and moves in Yongguk’s arms, the more friction his body is having against Yongguk’s clothed body. Himchan continues to get weak at the contact.
“Y-Y-Yongguk, please, stop,” Himchan whimpers, feeling a hardening sensation in his pants. “I’m gonna have something that I really, really don’t want to have right now, not in public at least.”
That does it for Yongguk. He stares at Himchan in giddily astonishment. “Well, you’re the one who’s moving, I’m not doing much of the work here.”
Not wanting to continue to struggle in Yongguk’s embrace, Himchan bites his bottom lip, groaning. “I hate you, you nincompoop.”
“I love you, too, Himchan-ah.”
Himchan glances at Yongguk. “So…does this mean we’re…a couple now?”
Yongguk gazes at Himchan, “Let me think. You made a long confession to me a while ago, I confessed just now. We’re in an embrace. I just gave you a peck on the cheek. We’ve said our declarations. Does that sound like we’re a couple now to you, Himchan-ah?” Yongguk shows his gummy smile, his eyes crinkling.
Himchan smiles. “Yeah…I guess we are…” He stares at Yongguk’s lips, thinking back to when he first kissed him. “C-can…Can I kiss you?”
“Who said you couldn’t? And it’s ‘May I ki-‘”
“Oh be quiet, you.”
Yongguk and Himchan look into each other’s gleaming eyes before they slowly move their heads closer, tilting them in opposite directions to avoid collision. Yongguk is still smiling and he is chuckling a bit as Himchan slowly grins at their slow movement toward each other. They glance between each other’s eyes and lips before their eyes flutter close and they feel their lips lightly brushing then crashing into each other with a fierce determination.
It is heavenly bliss for Himchan when he feels Yongguk’s body heat as they are in an embrace once again, when he smells Yongguk’s cologne, and when he tastes the strawberries and chocolate in Yongguk’s mouth…
“YEAHHH, HIMCHAN AND YONGGUK!!”
“Jieun-ah, hush! You’re interrupting their moment!!”
The shouts cause Yongguk and Himchan to break apart and look around to see the gals standing outside the car, Jieun jumping up and down in excitement and Hyosung trying to calm her down. The girls freeze in their tracks and look at each other before huddling away to get inside Hyosung’s car.
Yongguk snickers, “Apparently they’ve been rooting for us to get together. Whaddya know…”
Himchan laughs, nodding in agreement.
“Hey…Himchan-ah?”
Himchan looks at Yongguk, concerned at the uncertain tone of Yongguk’s voice.
“I knew about the notebook…When you left and I couldn’t find you, I looked into it because I thought I would find your contact information to return it to you.” Himchan’s heart starts racing as Yongguk continues. “But curiosity got the best of me when I looked to your notes that day so I could review the lecture, and I found your doodles…and my name in there.” Yongguk smiles weakly.
Himchan stares, at loss for words.
“W-well..,why did you not tell me that earlier?!” Himchan hisses at Yongguk. “Then we wouldn’t have to go through all of this confession today, gosh, Bang Yongguk…I can’t believe y-”
Yongguk silences Himchan with a breath-taking kiss, leaving him breathless and scowling.
“Damn you, Bang Yongguk.”