Midwinter Blues

[tim50stroud]

All this joviality and good cheer isn't really hitting the spot. The shops are heaving with stuff I dont want and the tv is full of adds for things I don't need or want. Buying stuff doesnt make me feel better, and I'm not going to get dragged into that sort of consumer feeding frenzy. The Sainsbury shop this morning was a bit more than usual,

Comments

[cariadwen]

I can understand where you're coming from Tim. You have had a bad year and Christmas time isn't the best time of year when that happens. To be honest I dread this time of the year myself. Although I do try not to rain on others parade, I'd love to forget the whole damned business! Bah Humbug!

[tim50stroud]

I've done the cards for friends locally, and a few presents for immediate family but thats the lot. I dont think its ba humbug; just my idea of xmas just doesnt fit with what its supposed to be. I'm not spending more than I've got on stuff. I'm going to eat pretty well but not 14 courses of lard and chips. Well, chips maybe. Actually, my xmas meal will prolly be a steak, chips, onion rings and a big salad

[demon_v_angel]

I'd love to be wishing you a happy Solstice...But good wishes might not cut it on their own!

YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY! :)

As the saying goes, sometimes the good things require fighting for... the hard part I find is fighting myself! I remember with a few exs I ended up feeling like I expended a lot of energy saving them from me cos they couldn't cope. Not good when I was in a bad mood and roaring the last thing I felt like doing was admitting what I handful I was....because it was usually a reaction to something they did whilst failing to realize the consequences.

I'm a bit weird... I like the security of knowing I have a relationship...but I like space... but when I start to lose faith and doubt... then I can be clingy in a virtual way usually. But that can be hormonal... But I can also crave space and keep busy when I get frustrated things aren't what I want... so I'm sure I send off very mixed messages...

[tim50stroud]

I've been happy by myself before now; its just there arn't the highs and lows.. just an ok sort of existance. Its just that I'd have thought at my sort of age it would all be sorted. But it aint.
I totally agree with the desire for a relationship but the need for space within it. RIght now I'm in a keep busy mode and trying to forgetg its christmas.

[jezreell1]

Th Year turns.

It takes its time, but it turns.

Give yourself the time you need, Techno-yurt Tim...

--

Jez - who is also coming out of the dark. Slowly.

[tim50stroud]

It would be nice to think of it as a spiral, each turn moving on .... somewhere. But it seems at times like a perpetual wheel going round and round and round.
Lessons are not easily learnt.