The Oncomnig Storm chapter 6
Title: The Oncoming Storm
Rating: M overall
Pairing: 9Rose
Summary: The Doctor had tried everything he knew - which was a considerable amount - but to no avail: the TARDIS remained stubbornly silent and unresponsive. Could it possibly be that Rose is pregnant with the Doctor's baby? Well I've just given the plot away, so you might as well read on...
Chapter 6 summary: The Doctor and Jack have a little heart-to-heart.
A/N: This is months late and unbeta'd, but I tried my best. Please let me know what you think.
Dedication: jiggery_pokery_ for believing in me.
Chapters 1-5 are here
Jack woke up to the sound of a series of crashes and bangs coming from the kitchen, punctuated by the occasional Gallifreyan curse. He sighed and flung off the covers, pulling on a pair of shorts and hurrying out of his bedroom towards the noise - whenever the Doctor made this much commotion this early in the morning, it was a sure sign something was bothering him.
Jack had wisely stayed out of his and Rose’s way the day before, recognising they needed space to themselves. He had also managed to push his own thoughts of what their baby would mean for him to the back of his mind: the universe did not revolve around Captain Jack Harkness, no matter how many sexual innuendos he could squeeze into one sentence.
“Morning,” the Doctor said, not even looking up as Jack entered the kitchen and surveyed the chaos around him. There were at least five broken coffee mugs adorning the worktops, water dripped from the walls and ceiling, and the toaster had definitely seen better days. In the centre of this sat the Doctor, slumped over the table like he‘d just collapsed there. “Sorry I woke you,” the Time Lord murmured, lifting his head from his arms and rubbing his hands through his short hair.
“Can the TARDIS move my room?” Jack asked lightly as he pulled up a chair next to his friend and sat on it backwards.
The Doctor closed his eyes briefly. “She just did.”
There was a pause. “How do I find it again?”
“Start looking.” It was a perfectly timed response, but with none of the Doctor’s usual humour it only served to make Jack even more worried.
“How are you?” He asked, crossing his arms over the chair back.
The Doctor stirred his coffee idly with a spoon, his eyes focused on the swirling liquid as though it could drag him in like a whirlpool and let him forget everything that was happening. “Fine.”
Jack wasn’t fooled. “Cut the crap Doc. If there’s one thing I know it’s women, and if there’s another thing I know, it’s you and Rose.” He reached forward and put a comforting hand on the Doctor’s arm. “How are you really, and more importantly, why aren’t you with Rose?”
The Time Lord flinched at the sound of her name. Rose was the air he breathed and he was suffocating without her, but he was too weak to face his problem and go and see her. “I was with her last night,” he said defensively, avoiding Jack’s question, and his gaze.
“With her with her, or just with her?”
“Just with her. I couldn’t… I mean…” He trailed off, his expression pained. Jack had a momentary fear he was about to burst into tears, but he just shrugged his shoulders slightly and looked up, blue eyes searching for the answers Jack wasn’t sure he could give.
“I’m scared, Jack. I’m absolutely bloody terrified.”
“And Rose isn’t?” The Doctor shook his head but Jack strode ahead. “I can guarantee that whatever you feel over the next nine months will be a hundred times worse for her. She needs you, Doctor.”
“I know. It’s just-”
“Just what? Just Rose, just the woman you love?” Jack wasn’t angry, he was merely trying to get the Doctor to listen to himself.
“No, of course not.”
“Well then. The way I see it, this is some of the best news ever. You’re having a baby with the woman you love.”
“But this isn’t me!” The Doctor pushed his coffee across the table and stretched his arms in front of him.
Jack reached for the abandoned mug and took a long drink for strength. “Of course it is,” he said forcefully, “it’s exactly you. This is what you do: you love people, you create and save lives. Now go and save Rose. She’s probably thinking you hate her.”
Suddenly the fire was back in the Doctor’s eyes. “I could never hate her! Never.” He sagged visibly again. “I just - this is why I don’t do -”
“-Domestic? Oh for Christ’s sake!” Jack’s patience was wearing thin with that line. “But you do, Doctor. Haven’t you realised yet?” He sighed, realising getting angry wouldn’t help at all. “Look, do you love Rose?”
The Doctor looked offended. “What a stupid question!”
Jack conceded his point and continued. “Do you want her? Need her?”
“Yes, but what- ?”
“Well I know for a fact that she feels exactly the same right now. She needs you. Go to her. Together you’ll make it work, I know you will.”
Satisfied he had managed to convince the Doctor, Jack stood up and went to the fridge. It was only when he reappeared from its enormous depths a minute later - with a huge bar of chocolate and a strawberry smoothie - and saw the Doctor hadn’t moved that he recognised something else was wrong; something more than the baby.
This time as he sat down, he didn’t need to ask what it was. He also noticed he had taken off his jacket, and he looked much smaller and more vulnerable without it. “This baby is going to change my whole life, Jack,” he began, voice pained, eyes fixed on his hands on the table. “People have always said it does but I never believed them, not until now.” He smiled briefly at this irony, but it disappeared as he looked straight at Jack.
“I’ve been a wanderer for nine centuries, fighting for the universe and for my life everyday - and sometimes losing. It’s the only life I’ve ever known. But if I was a father… I could never go out there again.”
Jack frowned as he broke off a square off Dairy Milk. “Why not?”
“Well, Rose wouldn’t let me, for a start.” It might have sounded like a joke but the Doctor was deadly serious. “She grew up without a father. I met him, Jack: we met him, Pete Tyler. He would’ve made a great dad; he did, in those few hours Rose had with him. But to see her break when he was ripped from her a second time was too much.
“I used to think I knew what I was doing with time. That I could control it, manipulate it, make it work for everyone. But I’ve learned that even I can make mistakes, and taking Rose back to see her dad was something I shouldn’t have done.
“She got through it though - she’s strong, you know that as well as I do. She had already grown up without him; become a brave, honest young woman, and Pete knew that. But it didn’t stop his tears. It didn’t stop him crying, because he would have given anything to see his baby turn into a beautiful person.
“The thought of my child growing up without me shakes me to my very core. I know it would tear Rose apart if anything happened to me - and I don’t mean that condescendingly: it’s a simple fact; a solid, undeniable truth. But if she had a child as well… Would she want her son or daughter to have to go through what she did? Would I want to walk out of the TARDIS onto some war-stricken planet in the knowledge that I might never see them again? Could I?”
Jack silently shook his head and the Doctor continued. “She’s changed, Jack. Her DNA has changed because of the Time Vortex, and it’s all my fault. And now she’s hurting, which makes me hurt so much I can hardly breathe, and you still have to ask me if I love her?
“On the one hand I have her: Rose - my Rose. I’ll always have her, no matter what happens. I want to hold her when she cries, make her smile when she frowns, kiss her when she’s sad and love her when there’s no one else left. I want to hold our child in my arms for the very first time; to see the starlight in its eyes and to know that we made this little miracle, this tiny entity with our love running through its veins. I want that, and that’s the first time I’ve admitted it. In fact, there’s nothing I could ever imagine wanting more than that.
“But on the other hand, I have freedom. To go where I want and be who I like without having to survive for someone else. I know I’ve been surviving for Rose, but that was different because she was always willing to come with me; to face danger to the very ends of the universe and then some. Who will protect people if I suddenly stop? Anything might happen.”
He rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath, awaiting Jack’s reaction. There was a long moment of silence as the Captain absorbed all this information. “Do you have any idea how self-centred that sounded?” He asked finally, laughing slightly at the absurdity of the situation, before sobering again. “The universe got on fine before you were born, when your people didn’t interfere in things. And you said it yourself, everything has its time and everything must die: timelines twist and turn in unpredictable ways. Maybe it’s time you let them. See what happens…”
The Doctor didn’t reply and Jack realised he was going to need much more persuasion than this. But from the way the Doctor’s eyes lit up when he had talked about his unborn child, it was obvious he already knew what he had to do: he just wasn’t aware of it yet. “I think what you’re really asking,” Jack ventured, trying to summarise everything that he had just heard, “is are Rose and your child worth more to you than the universe?”
Without a moment’s hesitation the Doctor answered, his gaze suddenly so fierce once more that a lesser man than Captain Jack Harkness would have withered under it. “Yes. Ask me a million times and my answer would always be the same.”
“So what are you trying to say then?”
The Doctor stole a piece of chocolate and stared at it, turning it over in his fingers as though analysing it. “I don’t know.”
Jack smiled fondly. “Oh come on Doc, you’re the cleverest man I’ve ever met, of course you know. Look, I appreciate it’s like standing on the edge of an enormous cliff in the dark; about to fall off with absolutely no clue as to what you’ll find when you hit the bottom. But Rose and I - we won’t let you do it alone. We’ll be with you every step of the way. It’s gonna be a huge change for you, being tied down for the first time ever, losing your freedom. It’ll be emotional, stressful, domestic.” His eyes sparkled. “But I know you would sacrifice all of that eternally for Rose.” He laid a hand on the Doctor’s shoulder. “It seems to me that you’re fighting a losing battle… and one you’re quite happy to surrender to.”
Rating: M overall
Pairing: 9Rose
Summary: The Doctor had tried everything he knew - which was a considerable amount - but to no avail: the TARDIS remained stubbornly silent and unresponsive. Could it possibly be that Rose is pregnant with the Doctor's baby? Well I've just given the plot away, so you might as well read on...
Chapter 6 summary: The Doctor and Jack have a little heart-to-heart.
A/N: This is months late and unbeta'd, but I tried my best. Please let me know what you think.
Dedication: jiggery_pokery_ for believing in me.
Chapters 1-5 are here
Jack woke up to the sound of a series of crashes and bangs coming from the kitchen, punctuated by the occasional Gallifreyan curse. He sighed and flung off the covers, pulling on a pair of shorts and hurrying out of his bedroom towards the noise - whenever the Doctor made this much commotion this early in the morning, it was a sure sign something was bothering him.
Jack had wisely stayed out of his and Rose’s way the day before, recognising they needed space to themselves. He had also managed to push his own thoughts of what their baby would mean for him to the back of his mind: the universe did not revolve around Captain Jack Harkness, no matter how many sexual innuendos he could squeeze into one sentence.
“Morning,” the Doctor said, not even looking up as Jack entered the kitchen and surveyed the chaos around him. There were at least five broken coffee mugs adorning the worktops, water dripped from the walls and ceiling, and the toaster had definitely seen better days. In the centre of this sat the Doctor, slumped over the table like he‘d just collapsed there. “Sorry I woke you,” the Time Lord murmured, lifting his head from his arms and rubbing his hands through his short hair.
“Can the TARDIS move my room?” Jack asked lightly as he pulled up a chair next to his friend and sat on it backwards.
The Doctor closed his eyes briefly. “She just did.”
There was a pause. “How do I find it again?”
“Start looking.” It was a perfectly timed response, but with none of the Doctor’s usual humour it only served to make Jack even more worried.
“How are you?” He asked, crossing his arms over the chair back.
The Doctor stirred his coffee idly with a spoon, his eyes focused on the swirling liquid as though it could drag him in like a whirlpool and let him forget everything that was happening. “Fine.”
Jack wasn’t fooled. “Cut the crap Doc. If there’s one thing I know it’s women, and if there’s another thing I know, it’s you and Rose.” He reached forward and put a comforting hand on the Doctor’s arm. “How are you really, and more importantly, why aren’t you with Rose?”
The Time Lord flinched at the sound of her name. Rose was the air he breathed and he was suffocating without her, but he was too weak to face his problem and go and see her. “I was with her last night,” he said defensively, avoiding Jack’s question, and his gaze.
“With her with her, or just with her?”
“Just with her. I couldn’t… I mean…” He trailed off, his expression pained. Jack had a momentary fear he was about to burst into tears, but he just shrugged his shoulders slightly and looked up, blue eyes searching for the answers Jack wasn’t sure he could give.
“I’m scared, Jack. I’m absolutely bloody terrified.”
“And Rose isn’t?” The Doctor shook his head but Jack strode ahead. “I can guarantee that whatever you feel over the next nine months will be a hundred times worse for her. She needs you, Doctor.”
“I know. It’s just-”
“Just what? Just Rose, just the woman you love?” Jack wasn’t angry, he was merely trying to get the Doctor to listen to himself.
“No, of course not.”
“Well then. The way I see it, this is some of the best news ever. You’re having a baby with the woman you love.”
“But this isn’t me!” The Doctor pushed his coffee across the table and stretched his arms in front of him.
Jack reached for the abandoned mug and took a long drink for strength. “Of course it is,” he said forcefully, “it’s exactly you. This is what you do: you love people, you create and save lives. Now go and save Rose. She’s probably thinking you hate her.”
Suddenly the fire was back in the Doctor’s eyes. “I could never hate her! Never.” He sagged visibly again. “I just - this is why I don’t do -”
“-Domestic? Oh for Christ’s sake!” Jack’s patience was wearing thin with that line. “But you do, Doctor. Haven’t you realised yet?” He sighed, realising getting angry wouldn’t help at all. “Look, do you love Rose?”
The Doctor looked offended. “What a stupid question!”
Jack conceded his point and continued. “Do you want her? Need her?”
“Yes, but what- ?”
“Well I know for a fact that she feels exactly the same right now. She needs you. Go to her. Together you’ll make it work, I know you will.”
Satisfied he had managed to convince the Doctor, Jack stood up and went to the fridge. It was only when he reappeared from its enormous depths a minute later - with a huge bar of chocolate and a strawberry smoothie - and saw the Doctor hadn’t moved that he recognised something else was wrong; something more than the baby.
This time as he sat down, he didn’t need to ask what it was. He also noticed he had taken off his jacket, and he looked much smaller and more vulnerable without it. “This baby is going to change my whole life, Jack,” he began, voice pained, eyes fixed on his hands on the table. “People have always said it does but I never believed them, not until now.” He smiled briefly at this irony, but it disappeared as he looked straight at Jack.
“I’ve been a wanderer for nine centuries, fighting for the universe and for my life everyday - and sometimes losing. It’s the only life I’ve ever known. But if I was a father… I could never go out there again.”
Jack frowned as he broke off a square off Dairy Milk. “Why not?”
“Well, Rose wouldn’t let me, for a start.” It might have sounded like a joke but the Doctor was deadly serious. “She grew up without a father. I met him, Jack: we met him, Pete Tyler. He would’ve made a great dad; he did, in those few hours Rose had with him. But to see her break when he was ripped from her a second time was too much.
“I used to think I knew what I was doing with time. That I could control it, manipulate it, make it work for everyone. But I’ve learned that even I can make mistakes, and taking Rose back to see her dad was something I shouldn’t have done.
“She got through it though - she’s strong, you know that as well as I do. She had already grown up without him; become a brave, honest young woman, and Pete knew that. But it didn’t stop his tears. It didn’t stop him crying, because he would have given anything to see his baby turn into a beautiful person.
“The thought of my child growing up without me shakes me to my very core. I know it would tear Rose apart if anything happened to me - and I don’t mean that condescendingly: it’s a simple fact; a solid, undeniable truth. But if she had a child as well… Would she want her son or daughter to have to go through what she did? Would I want to walk out of the TARDIS onto some war-stricken planet in the knowledge that I might never see them again? Could I?”
Jack silently shook his head and the Doctor continued. “She’s changed, Jack. Her DNA has changed because of the Time Vortex, and it’s all my fault. And now she’s hurting, which makes me hurt so much I can hardly breathe, and you still have to ask me if I love her?
“On the one hand I have her: Rose - my Rose. I’ll always have her, no matter what happens. I want to hold her when she cries, make her smile when she frowns, kiss her when she’s sad and love her when there’s no one else left. I want to hold our child in my arms for the very first time; to see the starlight in its eyes and to know that we made this little miracle, this tiny entity with our love running through its veins. I want that, and that’s the first time I’ve admitted it. In fact, there’s nothing I could ever imagine wanting more than that.
“But on the other hand, I have freedom. To go where I want and be who I like without having to survive for someone else. I know I’ve been surviving for Rose, but that was different because she was always willing to come with me; to face danger to the very ends of the universe and then some. Who will protect people if I suddenly stop? Anything might happen.”
He rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath, awaiting Jack’s reaction. There was a long moment of silence as the Captain absorbed all this information. “Do you have any idea how self-centred that sounded?” He asked finally, laughing slightly at the absurdity of the situation, before sobering again. “The universe got on fine before you were born, when your people didn’t interfere in things. And you said it yourself, everything has its time and everything must die: timelines twist and turn in unpredictable ways. Maybe it’s time you let them. See what happens…”
The Doctor didn’t reply and Jack realised he was going to need much more persuasion than this. But from the way the Doctor’s eyes lit up when he had talked about his unborn child, it was obvious he already knew what he had to do: he just wasn’t aware of it yet. “I think what you’re really asking,” Jack ventured, trying to summarise everything that he had just heard, “is are Rose and your child worth more to you than the universe?”
Without a moment’s hesitation the Doctor answered, his gaze suddenly so fierce once more that a lesser man than Captain Jack Harkness would have withered under it. “Yes. Ask me a million times and my answer would always be the same.”
“So what are you trying to say then?”
The Doctor stole a piece of chocolate and stared at it, turning it over in his fingers as though analysing it. “I don’t know.”
Jack smiled fondly. “Oh come on Doc, you’re the cleverest man I’ve ever met, of course you know. Look, I appreciate it’s like standing on the edge of an enormous cliff in the dark; about to fall off with absolutely no clue as to what you’ll find when you hit the bottom. But Rose and I - we won’t let you do it alone. We’ll be with you every step of the way. It’s gonna be a huge change for you, being tied down for the first time ever, losing your freedom. It’ll be emotional, stressful, domestic.” His eyes sparkled. “But I know you would sacrifice all of that eternally for Rose.” He laid a hand on the Doctor’s shoulder. “It seems to me that you’re fighting a losing battle… and one you’re quite happy to surrender to.”