Fic: Ever After
Title: Ever After
Author: brienze
Pairing: Ten/Rose
Rating: Mature (adult themes)
Warnings: Fluff, driving a meta-textual big yellow truck through a MacGuffin
Spoilers: Through "Fear Her", though subtext will whoosh over your head if you don't know the general plot devices of Doomsday
Disclaimer: So not mine.
Notes:Written for mickat24 for the Rose Tyler ficathon. Prompt is at the end. I doubt this is what you had in mind, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Brit-picked by joely_jo and beta'd by my mother, who is the only person on this Earth willing to drop everything and edit a story for me even when it spoils the rest of the DW season for her.
"And it came to pass, all that seemed wrong was now right,
and those who deserved to were certain to live a long and happy life. Ever after..." - Stephen Sondheim, Into the Woods
After they'd saved the Olympics, the Doctor was all in favor of hopping ahead twelve hours so they could start attending events immediately. Rose had vetoed that idea, reminding him that she liked a decent night's sleep after world-saving adventures, and besides, even if his alien biology let him eat jam for lunch and cake for dinner, she ought to have something nutritious to counteract the sugar.
That's how they wound up in the TARDIS's kitchen, the Doctor joining her for a cup of tea as she slowly ate some leftovers from two planets ago. Fuzzy and green was how the food from Blekashka Four had started out, and it tasted fine, but it had looked a lot more palatable when served by a waiter on a floaty greenish ion cloud (the waiter, that is, though the tray of food had its own floaty cloud, owing to the Blekashkian lack of arms), and a lot less appealing coming out of the fridge where the Doctor occasionally kept science projects. Plus, slowing down had given her time to think about what had happened. She could see why the Doctor avoided it.
Rose glanced at the Doctor, who seemed very interested in his tea whenever she looked at him, but was giving her worried looks whenever she was less likely to notice them.
"Out with it then," she prodded.
"I'm so sorry, Rose. I never anticipated something like today; thought if I got into trouble you'd always be able to get home with the TARDIS's emergency programme. Should've known better after losing her at Krop-Tor."
"It wasn't being stuck that got to me. 2012 London after all, I could've just gone home. Mum would've been mad she hadn't heard from me in 6 years, but I'd've been fine." She shook her head, hesitated, then reached across the table to clasp his hand in hers. "It was... seeing you and the TARDIS in crayon on that paper... you were right there but I didn't know how to bring you back.
"This has been a bloody awful day," she sighed. "Not as obviously deadly as a werewolf or a Cyberman, but harder on my nerves. I thought I'd lost you, especially when everything else was sorted but you still didn't appear at the end of the close. And then you lit the torch, which was a bit cheesy by the way, and everything was wonderful. 'Cept now... are you going to tell me about this storm that's approaching, then?" Rose asked.
The Doctor's eyes widened a bit. He wasn't used to her calling him on his cryptic comments. "Can't. Don't know, really." He shrugged. "I'm not supposed to know my own future, so I don't get more than general impressions. I could tell you what it's like to be inside a piece of sketch paper, though. Can you guess?" Without pause, he went on, "It's very flat. Imagine! Cassandra would've been queuing up at Chloe's door."
Rose arched an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Well, at least you're not trying to tell me that you'd meant the Match would be rained off." The Doctor's face fell, as if he hadn't thought of that before but would've been tempted to try it if he had. "Is it connected to what the Beast said? That I'm going to die in battle?" She gave him her mother's fiercest look; he'd started this conversation with his heretofore-unseen powers of prognostication, and she wasn't going to let him weasel out of it with empty reassurances.
"I don't know. But I still believe the Beast lied to you."
"You believe, but you don't know."
The Doctor's shoulders drooped lower. "No."
Rose felt her mood crashing hard, and she was tempted to ask if they could go out for chips. They could fight over who got the crispy ones, and be mundane, and forget about their problems. Just be plain old Rose Tyler with no A-levels and an alien who humored her. It had worked to distract the Doctor from his past, but as good as it sounded, Rose didn't want to distract them from talking about the future. They couldn't go back and fix the Time War, but she didn't want to believe that there was nothing they could do about their futures, either.
"I should take you home," the Doctor said, eyes sad and mouth downturned in an almost-pout. "Whatever's going to happen happens to us, not just to me or you. If you've already left, you'll be safe. Your whole life ahead of you."
"Not a chance! My whole life is this life, Doctor. With you, and the TARDIS. Runnin' from baddies and savin' the Universe. I worked out a long time ago that this kind of life doesn't come with a retirement plan, and that's all right. It's worth it." You're worth it, she added silently, but there were some things they just didn't say to each other.
The Doctor looked unconvinced.
"I'm stayin'. And you're lettin' me." The Doctor drew breath to argue with her, so she reached across and put her finger across his mouth in imitation of his "fingers on lips" gesture from earlier that day. "You promised, and besides, you should've learnt better from the last time you tried to send me away."
Rose was about to launch into an argument to get the Doctor to plan ahead for once and take precautions with their safety, when she was shocked to feel his tongue on her finger, warm and wet and doing a thorough job of tasting her. She wasn't even remotely tempted to pull away, even though she wasn't sure what he meant by it. Since it was the Doctor, it mightn't mean anything at all. Seemed like everything that came in range of his mouth got licked, and if she thought about it Rose was a bit put out that that hadn't included her before now.
The Doctor had his eyes closed now, and in between nibbles and licks and one quick, tentative suck to the tip of her finger, he was inhaling deeply through his nose. Taste and smell. His hands were still wrapped around his mug of tea, and Rose wondered if he was planning to touch, too. She wanted him to, badly enough that she wouldn't even be cross if he was only doing this because of his premonition, a sort of last-chance, we'll-never-see-each-other-again-anyway shag. He was a bloody idiot, but she'd take what she could get.
Just as Rose was about to express her approval, the Doctor's eyes widened and he jumped up and put as much distance as possible between them whilst still staying in the room. "Sorry. Sorry," he repeated, ruffling his hair and looking at her accusingly. "Although you did put your finger there... but that's no excuse. I'm sorry, Rose. I shouldn't have."
"Why not?"
It looked like the Doctor was struggling with what to say -- a rare event, for this him. "Because it's wrong. We can't."
"Why not?" Rose repeated. She really wanted to know.
"We're too different. You don't just want a casual shag from me, and I've known since Cardiff -- the first time -- that you're much more than that to me. We can't just tumble into bed together and expect everything to work out. We don't get forever; we don't even get the rest of our lives together."
Rose felt warm all over, from her usually-chilly toes to the hairs on top of her head, at hearing the Doctor admit just how long she'd meant so much to him. She'd known, of course, but hearing it was very, very nice. Instant mood-lifter, in fact. "Is that the only reason, then?"
"Of course it's the only reason! I have to remind myself constantly that I can't be more to you, every time you look at me like that."
"Like what?" Rose asked cheekily.
"Like that!" The Doctor pointed to where her tongue was peeping out of the side of her mouth. "That's an invitation, that is, and I'm not so thick that I don't notice. But we can't, Rose. Even without evil prophesies and psychic storm clouds predicting gloom and doom, you still could never stay with me. We ignore it every day, but it's true. You'll get killed, or hurt enough that you come to your senses and tell me to take you home. Or you'll want a proper house that comes with a mortgage, and kids, and I can't give you either of those things. And even if those things never happened, you'll still age, you'll still die someday."
God, talk about diving into the deep end of the pool. Did she honestly want to talk to the Doctor about kids? But she had him talking, now, and Rose was determined to make the most of an opportunity he'd probably never give her again. No half-truths allowed.
"I love traveling. A house is where your stuff is, and where you feel safe. And a home is where you go to be with the people who matter most. I've got both those already with the TARDIS. I wouldn't trade 'er for Pete Tyler's mansion, much less Mum's council flat."
Rose took a deep breath. She wasn't brave enough. She couldn't do this, not when he could dash out the door and later on pretend that none of it had happened. Delay; a delay would be good.
"Look, how about we go sit in the lounge? I promise I won't jump you since you don't want it, but this feels too much like an argument, us yelling at each other down the length of the kitchen. We're on the same side. Let's just sit and talk?" Rose's voice raised in inquiry on that last, even though she hadn't meant it to.
The Doctor nodded, still frowning at her, and led the way to the room where they spent most of their awake-but-not-adventuring time. As she walked Rose trailed a hand along the corridor wall, hoping the TARDIS would be her ally in this, and wishing with everything she had that the TARDIS would at least lock the door after them so she'd have a fair shot at talking to the Doctor. She knew full well that he didn't talk about domestics, not even this new Doctor who seemed almost fond of her Mum and Mickey. If he wouldn't talk, she at least wanted him to listen.
They settled in at opposite ends of the comfiest sofa, kicking their shoes off and, as always, tussling over the rights to the no-mans-land where they could stretch their legs out. Congratulating herself for her cleverness, Rose let the Doctor win and took his feet onto her lap, kneading his arches with her thumbs as she took up the conversation again.
"Home's here. That's not even an issue." She squeezed his feet gently, and the Doctor smiled at her. Point accepted.
"As for kids, I've never thought about them much. Maybe you're right and my biological clock would kick in someday, but even then, I don't like the idea of being bossed around by hormones." The Doctor's quick snort showed what he thought of the likelihood of her being bossed around by anything. "As a choice, though... to decide to bring a child into the Universe... if I want that at all, I think I'd want it more for your sake than mine." Pause; eye contact, serious look from behind half-lowered eyes. She did not want this to come off confrontational, or manipulative.
"You said you'd been a dad once. Don't you want to be again?"
An incredible look passed over the Doctor's face. There was pain, guilt, longing, resignation, and not even a little bit of fond recollection or happy memories. Rose realized in an instant that what the Doctor had been through, all the years and people that lived and died in his memories, was the one topic he'd never be able to babble on about. She remembered his impatience and frustration with her at the end of the world, when she'd asked him where he was from.
"I'll never ask about it," she promised him now. "If you need to tell me, you will. An' if you need to not, that's alright too. But the future, that's something you should talk about, or at least think about. Not knowing your own future shouldn't mean you're not supposed to plan it. Living here and now only works for here and now. You've got what, three lifetimes left? What happens to the Universe after that? Wherever you go, you fix problems. Problems nobody else even knows exist, cause you're the one who can see the timelines."
"You want me to have a child so it can be charged with protecting the Universe?" the Doctor, asked, dumbfounded.
"To have a legacy. Just like every other child ever. I'm the part of Pete Tyler that's loyal and ballsy and thinks up crazy ways to get out of a jam. And you're right, I won't be around forever, though I've got some ideas about that. A child of your race could be a real companion for you. You'd have a real family again, no more being alone."
"It's impossible," the Doctor said flatly.
"Is it?" Rose asked of the ceiling. The TARDIS hummed, the Doctor went very still, and Rose carried on gently kneading his feet, making her touch repetitive and easy to ignore. Rose was confident she knew the outcome of their chat. The TARDIS had taken to streaming all sorts of text files onto her iPod, and some of them went temporarily missing whenever the Doctor was nearby. She knew about the Looms, knew too that they weren't the only way, that the Doctor himself had a human mother.
"It's not impossible," the Doctor said, finally. "The TARDIS thinks you can handle a Gallifreyan baby's timesense growing in you, because you've channeled the time vortex. On Gallifrey they could've combined our DNAs any which way they pleased... the TARDIS thinks she can manage the same. Regeneration, timesense, linearly-transcendent mental acuity, autonomic brain all guaranteed in someone who's otherwise an old-fashioned blend of the two of us. That what you had in mind?"
Rose nodded. "A child of your species, but with enough of me in 'em that Earth can be, not home, I guess, but a default place to go. For you, too, through us. Hell, Harriet would've given you honorary citizenship if you hadn't gone and wrecked her political career." Rose beamed at the Doctor, who wasn't beaming back.
"I won't treat you like some kind of walking, talking Loom, Rose. That's what it would be, the TARDIS would have to meddle with you entirely too much to..."
"Been there, done that, you died for it," Rose interrupted. "Worth doing again if this time our child gets to live for it."
"You realize you're planning our progeny and we haven't ever kissed? When neither of us is possessed, at least."
"You're the one against just shagging," Rose reminded him, grinning. "How much more committed do I have to be? Still, if you want me to even things up..." she said, pulling off the Doctor's socks and bending her head to give his big toe a good, strong suck. His feet were pale and bony, but she was happy to feel that he kept his toenails neatly trimmed. Nobody else she'd been with could've gotten her to suck their toes, that was certain.
"Stop that," the Doctor said unconvincingly.
Rose immediately sat up and dropped her hands off his feet. "Right, no jumping you, I forgot."
"Rose, I can see you've got a lovely picture in your head of us and our baby floating around in the TARDIS as one big happy family," Rose raised an eyebrow at him. "--no, not literally, that takes physical contact -- but it can't happen, technically combinable DNA or not. Gallifreyans aren't adult until age 200 -- you'd be raising a child for the rest of your natural life!"
"Yeah, about that," Rose said. "Seems to me there's a pretty easy solution out there to the whole aging and dying thing. Nanogenes. If they can fix death then wrinkles and arthritis should be no problem."
The Doctor looked completely astounded. "I never thought of that."
"Well, why not?"
"We don't do such things, that's all. Never have. We don't need to steal from other races."
Sometimes she really did want to smack the supercilious Time Lordliness out of him. "Who's 'we'? The same people who told you not to meddle, even when the timeline's gone wrong? The people who wouldn't even let Sarah Jane set foot on their precious planet? Your people are gone, there's no one but other races to get help from. You're not letting me be your 'we', not even with this bit of the time vortex in me, cause I'm going to die! No time soon by my standards, but soon enough for you that you're being a bloody stubborn arse about who we are to each other in the meantime!"
"I'm sorry," Rose said, after a moment of silence. "I really do want to talk about this. If there's things I don't understand, I want you to explain. I guess I just channeled my Mum for a sec there." She blushed.
"Best not to remind me of your mother. A very wise human man I once knew was an advocate of always looking at a girl's mother before making your mind up about her, because one day that's who she's going to turn into." They both shuddered.
"Anyway," Rose said, "there's lots of things we've run across that could make it a lot safer to go about saving worlds. Why don't you have a wristcomm like Jack's, something that would let the TARDIS keep an ear on what's going on when we're outside of her? Or transmats keyed to outside her door, or something. Even in my time there are businessmen in South America who get themselves implanted with GPS chips in case they get kidnapped. An' it seemed like those nanogenes in London were free-roaming; the ones that weren't in Jack's Chula timeship, I mean. Could they follow us about when we're off nearly getting ourselves killed? Or would that take all the fun out of it?"
The Doctor looked gobsmacked. He had so much fun running about, asking people if something had fallen from the sky instead of scanning for alien tech, dressing up like a waiter instead of hacking into ear-pods to eavesdrop on the party, and generally being a busybody and improvising his way through everything. Planning ahead and stocking up on more tools than just a sonic screwdriver had clearly never even occurred to him. Well, if Rose couldn't hold her own against Time Lord intellect, she could at least point out the obvious. All those brains, and he didn't have the common sense to come in out of the rain.
"We haven't got any nanogenes," the Doctor objected, finally. "Jack's blew up with his ship and I told the others in London to self-destruct."
"How 'bout asking for them? I don't know what sort of people the Chula are, but if they've got warships and ambulance ships, I reckon they'd be happy to get the last Time Lord's agreement that he won't go in on the side of whoever they're fighting."
"Rose!" The Doctor was shocked. "I wouldn't interfere anyway. You know that."
"Yeah," she nodded, "I do. But they mightn't. Your reputation prob'ly isn't the best."
"Cheeky. Wouldn't work anyway, though. The Chula were fighting themselves. Civil war, just in their solar system. They'd refined their weapons with diabolical cleverness -- bioweapons that only targeted organics of sufficient complexity. Kill the people without poisoning the water or even damaging the agriculture. Nanogenes were sort of a self-defense -- they needed something that clever and efficient just to keep themselves alive."
"How did it go pear-shaped, then? More than a war is in the first place, I mean. Jack's fake Chula warship was supposed to be the last."
"Bit of a success story, that," the Doctor said, brightening. "Developing time travel is what did it for them. Racially they're a very deliberate, analytical people, and just hopping around to their past and future, they figured out how stupid the civil war was. Weren't tempted to muck about with timelines to make one side or another win; they got rather embarrassed, declared peace, and destroyed all their weapons."
"No more Chula warships," Rose concluded. "Can't imagine they chucked the nanogenes, though. I'm not sayin' you should give them secrets they shouldn't know, or do anything to change their timeline. I'm not even sayin' we should steal from them. Just ask. It won't hurt nothin', and it could mean I really do get to stay with you forever."
"Whether we can get any nanogenes isn't even the issue. We shouldn't. Aging and dying are what humans do; it's an essential part of what you are as a species. If we key nanogenes to human DNA and set them to babysitting you, you won't be human anymore. Eternal life sounds all well and good until you have to watch as everyone you've ever known dies."
"You saying you've got some kind of human-only kink? You'll stop wanting me if I stop aging and become a lot harder to kill?"
"You're deliberately missing the point, Rose," the Doctor sighed.
"No, I'm deliberately dismissing your point. My Mum's going to die before me anyway, unless I get myself killed knocking about with you first. An' she's the only one I have left, except for you. I've lost Mickey already since we can't ever see him again. If it means I get to stay with you, sign me up for being not entirely human anymore." More softly, Rose went on, "If it means I can help you make a new family, an' be part of your family, I want to do it.
"Just tell me this. If we could sort out these problems, me aging and dying too fast, finding a way to side-step whatever storm's coming, getting the right combination of me an' you into a baby that we've figured out how to raise mostly off-planet... would you want to? Will you let yourself look for a way to have us in your life, and not just reject the idea of us?"
For the first time since the kitchen, Rose could see everything she meant to him rising up in the Doctor's eyes. "Oh yes," he said immediately. "I want you with me for as long as I can keep you." Rose was surprised she didn't instantly combust from the heat that created in her. "It's hard to tell myself I deserve to have a family again. Harder to believe the Time Lords would be happy with me engendering a bastardized continuation of our race." He shook his head. "But you deserve to have children. You'd be a great mother. Maybe, if we choose parenthood because of each other, we won't muck it up too badly?"
"Parents always muck it up. Kids turn out alright anyway. And ours would always know it's wanted." Like the Doctor hadn't been, but her knowledge of that was between the TARDIS and her.
"Keeping you healthy and here is the first step, then. Seems awfully simple to just ask the Chula for nanogenes, though. Not much of a plan, more an improvisation." Rose knew she had an expressive face, but he was deliberately making fun of her earlier thoughts about his methods of world-saving, the git.
"You're supposed to be lucky, remember?" she asked, twining her fingers in his right hand, the hand that didn't seem unusual at all anymore. "As long as you and I and the TARDIS stick together, we'll be fine. That's human intuition."
"Right then. And if they turn us down we can at least stay to dinner. Best curry in the Universe comes from Chula." He grinned at her, and Rose wondered what her chances were of persuading him into bed without the guarantee that she'd be able to stay there for the foreseeable centuries.
* * * * * * * *
In the end, getting nanogenes from the Chula proved to be no problem at all, morally or otherwise. Their world had retained scraps of legends about the Time Lords, and they were only too happy to give a representative of that race whatever he asked for. They were grateful, it seemed, that their timeships hadn't been taken away immediately upon their invention, since the Chula had still been in the midst of their civil war at the time. They also happily fed Rose what she had to agree was the best curry she'd ever tasted.
Back at the TARDIS the Doctor immediately set about configuring the nanogenes for both human and Gallifreyan DNA, and with new programming to prevent them, at least for the present, from conflating the two. When the Doctor activated them, they immediately sprang into action, cleansing him and Rose and the TARDIS of voidstuff that they'd never even noticed they were carrying. Nanogenes weren't programmed for emotions, but they almost seemed pleased to be performing their function beyond the expectations of their user. The TARDIS liked them; liked that they interpreted her as a sentient, semi-organic being, and thought they would be very useful. She spent long hours in conversation with the Doctor, who then spent long hours in conversation with Rose, usually in bed.
They visited a planet where the rocks were alive and creatures like sting-rays flew through the air. It wouldn't be the same, but the Doctor had carefully coaxed a new rock formation into being, and left it with its own nanogenes to protect it and guide its growth. In five hundred years or so, a new breed of TARDIS would come of it, and their child would come back to claim it.
Getting pregnant had proved almost distressingly easy for Rose, who'd been hoping for a lot more "practice". With the nanogenes to help her body and the TARDIS to help her mind, she and the Doctor felt as confident as they reasonably could. The Beast's prediction and the Doctor's foreboding receded to unpleasant memories.
"How long are you gonna stay with me?" the Doctor asked her.
"Forever," Rose promised, and this time they both believed she was telling the truth.
-----
mickat24 asked for Rose/Ten romance/happy ending, strong!Rose as opposed to falling-apart/sycophant!Rose, and the Doctor getting Rose pregnant realistically. This is how I interpreted the latter. Anyone who'd like to write the Doctor/Rose/TARDIS/glowy-gold-Time-Vortex scientific pr0n is welcome to do so, but that person will not be me.
Author: brienze
Pairing: Ten/Rose
Rating: Mature (adult themes)
Warnings: Fluff, driving a meta-textual big yellow truck through a MacGuffin
Spoilers: Through "Fear Her", though subtext will whoosh over your head if you don't know the general plot devices of Doomsday
Disclaimer: So not mine.
Notes:Written for mickat24 for the Rose Tyler ficathon. Prompt is at the end. I doubt this is what you had in mind, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Brit-picked by joely_jo and beta'd by my mother, who is the only person on this Earth willing to drop everything and edit a story for me even when it spoils the rest of the DW season for her.
"And it came to pass, all that seemed wrong was now right,
and those who deserved to were certain to live a long and happy life. Ever after..." - Stephen Sondheim, Into the Woods
After they'd saved the Olympics, the Doctor was all in favor of hopping ahead twelve hours so they could start attending events immediately. Rose had vetoed that idea, reminding him that she liked a decent night's sleep after world-saving adventures, and besides, even if his alien biology let him eat jam for lunch and cake for dinner, she ought to have something nutritious to counteract the sugar.
That's how they wound up in the TARDIS's kitchen, the Doctor joining her for a cup of tea as she slowly ate some leftovers from two planets ago. Fuzzy and green was how the food from Blekashka Four had started out, and it tasted fine, but it had looked a lot more palatable when served by a waiter on a floaty greenish ion cloud (the waiter, that is, though the tray of food had its own floaty cloud, owing to the Blekashkian lack of arms), and a lot less appealing coming out of the fridge where the Doctor occasionally kept science projects. Plus, slowing down had given her time to think about what had happened. She could see why the Doctor avoided it.
Rose glanced at the Doctor, who seemed very interested in his tea whenever she looked at him, but was giving her worried looks whenever she was less likely to notice them.
"Out with it then," she prodded.
"I'm so sorry, Rose. I never anticipated something like today; thought if I got into trouble you'd always be able to get home with the TARDIS's emergency programme. Should've known better after losing her at Krop-Tor."
"It wasn't being stuck that got to me. 2012 London after all, I could've just gone home. Mum would've been mad she hadn't heard from me in 6 years, but I'd've been fine." She shook her head, hesitated, then reached across the table to clasp his hand in hers. "It was... seeing you and the TARDIS in crayon on that paper... you were right there but I didn't know how to bring you back.
"This has been a bloody awful day," she sighed. "Not as obviously deadly as a werewolf or a Cyberman, but harder on my nerves. I thought I'd lost you, especially when everything else was sorted but you still didn't appear at the end of the close. And then you lit the torch, which was a bit cheesy by the way, and everything was wonderful. 'Cept now... are you going to tell me about this storm that's approaching, then?" Rose asked.
The Doctor's eyes widened a bit. He wasn't used to her calling him on his cryptic comments. "Can't. Don't know, really." He shrugged. "I'm not supposed to know my own future, so I don't get more than general impressions. I could tell you what it's like to be inside a piece of sketch paper, though. Can you guess?" Without pause, he went on, "It's very flat. Imagine! Cassandra would've been queuing up at Chloe's door."
Rose arched an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Well, at least you're not trying to tell me that you'd meant the Match would be rained off." The Doctor's face fell, as if he hadn't thought of that before but would've been tempted to try it if he had. "Is it connected to what the Beast said? That I'm going to die in battle?" She gave him her mother's fiercest look; he'd started this conversation with his heretofore-unseen powers of prognostication, and she wasn't going to let him weasel out of it with empty reassurances.
"I don't know. But I still believe the Beast lied to you."
"You believe, but you don't know."
The Doctor's shoulders drooped lower. "No."
Rose felt her mood crashing hard, and she was tempted to ask if they could go out for chips. They could fight over who got the crispy ones, and be mundane, and forget about their problems. Just be plain old Rose Tyler with no A-levels and an alien who humored her. It had worked to distract the Doctor from his past, but as good as it sounded, Rose didn't want to distract them from talking about the future. They couldn't go back and fix the Time War, but she didn't want to believe that there was nothing they could do about their futures, either.
"I should take you home," the Doctor said, eyes sad and mouth downturned in an almost-pout. "Whatever's going to happen happens to us, not just to me or you. If you've already left, you'll be safe. Your whole life ahead of you."
"Not a chance! My whole life is this life, Doctor. With you, and the TARDIS. Runnin' from baddies and savin' the Universe. I worked out a long time ago that this kind of life doesn't come with a retirement plan, and that's all right. It's worth it." You're worth it, she added silently, but there were some things they just didn't say to each other.
The Doctor looked unconvinced.
"I'm stayin'. And you're lettin' me." The Doctor drew breath to argue with her, so she reached across and put her finger across his mouth in imitation of his "fingers on lips" gesture from earlier that day. "You promised, and besides, you should've learnt better from the last time you tried to send me away."
Rose was about to launch into an argument to get the Doctor to plan ahead for once and take precautions with their safety, when she was shocked to feel his tongue on her finger, warm and wet and doing a thorough job of tasting her. She wasn't even remotely tempted to pull away, even though she wasn't sure what he meant by it. Since it was the Doctor, it mightn't mean anything at all. Seemed like everything that came in range of his mouth got licked, and if she thought about it Rose was a bit put out that that hadn't included her before now.
The Doctor had his eyes closed now, and in between nibbles and licks and one quick, tentative suck to the tip of her finger, he was inhaling deeply through his nose. Taste and smell. His hands were still wrapped around his mug of tea, and Rose wondered if he was planning to touch, too. She wanted him to, badly enough that she wouldn't even be cross if he was only doing this because of his premonition, a sort of last-chance, we'll-never-see-each-other-again-anyway shag. He was a bloody idiot, but she'd take what she could get.
Just as Rose was about to express her approval, the Doctor's eyes widened and he jumped up and put as much distance as possible between them whilst still staying in the room. "Sorry. Sorry," he repeated, ruffling his hair and looking at her accusingly. "Although you did put your finger there... but that's no excuse. I'm sorry, Rose. I shouldn't have."
"Why not?"
It looked like the Doctor was struggling with what to say -- a rare event, for this him. "Because it's wrong. We can't."
"Why not?" Rose repeated. She really wanted to know.
"We're too different. You don't just want a casual shag from me, and I've known since Cardiff -- the first time -- that you're much more than that to me. We can't just tumble into bed together and expect everything to work out. We don't get forever; we don't even get the rest of our lives together."
Rose felt warm all over, from her usually-chilly toes to the hairs on top of her head, at hearing the Doctor admit just how long she'd meant so much to him. She'd known, of course, but hearing it was very, very nice. Instant mood-lifter, in fact. "Is that the only reason, then?"
"Of course it's the only reason! I have to remind myself constantly that I can't be more to you, every time you look at me like that."
"Like what?" Rose asked cheekily.
"Like that!" The Doctor pointed to where her tongue was peeping out of the side of her mouth. "That's an invitation, that is, and I'm not so thick that I don't notice. But we can't, Rose. Even without evil prophesies and psychic storm clouds predicting gloom and doom, you still could never stay with me. We ignore it every day, but it's true. You'll get killed, or hurt enough that you come to your senses and tell me to take you home. Or you'll want a proper house that comes with a mortgage, and kids, and I can't give you either of those things. And even if those things never happened, you'll still age, you'll still die someday."
God, talk about diving into the deep end of the pool. Did she honestly want to talk to the Doctor about kids? But she had him talking, now, and Rose was determined to make the most of an opportunity he'd probably never give her again. No half-truths allowed.
"I love traveling. A house is where your stuff is, and where you feel safe. And a home is where you go to be with the people who matter most. I've got both those already with the TARDIS. I wouldn't trade 'er for Pete Tyler's mansion, much less Mum's council flat."
Rose took a deep breath. She wasn't brave enough. She couldn't do this, not when he could dash out the door and later on pretend that none of it had happened. Delay; a delay would be good.
"Look, how about we go sit in the lounge? I promise I won't jump you since you don't want it, but this feels too much like an argument, us yelling at each other down the length of the kitchen. We're on the same side. Let's just sit and talk?" Rose's voice raised in inquiry on that last, even though she hadn't meant it to.
The Doctor nodded, still frowning at her, and led the way to the room where they spent most of their awake-but-not-adventuring time. As she walked Rose trailed a hand along the corridor wall, hoping the TARDIS would be her ally in this, and wishing with everything she had that the TARDIS would at least lock the door after them so she'd have a fair shot at talking to the Doctor. She knew full well that he didn't talk about domestics, not even this new Doctor who seemed almost fond of her Mum and Mickey. If he wouldn't talk, she at least wanted him to listen.
They settled in at opposite ends of the comfiest sofa, kicking their shoes off and, as always, tussling over the rights to the no-mans-land where they could stretch their legs out. Congratulating herself for her cleverness, Rose let the Doctor win and took his feet onto her lap, kneading his arches with her thumbs as she took up the conversation again.
"Home's here. That's not even an issue." She squeezed his feet gently, and the Doctor smiled at her. Point accepted.
"As for kids, I've never thought about them much. Maybe you're right and my biological clock would kick in someday, but even then, I don't like the idea of being bossed around by hormones." The Doctor's quick snort showed what he thought of the likelihood of her being bossed around by anything. "As a choice, though... to decide to bring a child into the Universe... if I want that at all, I think I'd want it more for your sake than mine." Pause; eye contact, serious look from behind half-lowered eyes. She did not want this to come off confrontational, or manipulative.
"You said you'd been a dad once. Don't you want to be again?"
An incredible look passed over the Doctor's face. There was pain, guilt, longing, resignation, and not even a little bit of fond recollection or happy memories. Rose realized in an instant that what the Doctor had been through, all the years and people that lived and died in his memories, was the one topic he'd never be able to babble on about. She remembered his impatience and frustration with her at the end of the world, when she'd asked him where he was from.
"I'll never ask about it," she promised him now. "If you need to tell me, you will. An' if you need to not, that's alright too. But the future, that's something you should talk about, or at least think about. Not knowing your own future shouldn't mean you're not supposed to plan it. Living here and now only works for here and now. You've got what, three lifetimes left? What happens to the Universe after that? Wherever you go, you fix problems. Problems nobody else even knows exist, cause you're the one who can see the timelines."
"You want me to have a child so it can be charged with protecting the Universe?" the Doctor, asked, dumbfounded.
"To have a legacy. Just like every other child ever. I'm the part of Pete Tyler that's loyal and ballsy and thinks up crazy ways to get out of a jam. And you're right, I won't be around forever, though I've got some ideas about that. A child of your race could be a real companion for you. You'd have a real family again, no more being alone."
"It's impossible," the Doctor said flatly.
"Is it?" Rose asked of the ceiling. The TARDIS hummed, the Doctor went very still, and Rose carried on gently kneading his feet, making her touch repetitive and easy to ignore. Rose was confident she knew the outcome of their chat. The TARDIS had taken to streaming all sorts of text files onto her iPod, and some of them went temporarily missing whenever the Doctor was nearby. She knew about the Looms, knew too that they weren't the only way, that the Doctor himself had a human mother.
"It's not impossible," the Doctor said, finally. "The TARDIS thinks you can handle a Gallifreyan baby's timesense growing in you, because you've channeled the time vortex. On Gallifrey they could've combined our DNAs any which way they pleased... the TARDIS thinks she can manage the same. Regeneration, timesense, linearly-transcendent mental acuity, autonomic brain all guaranteed in someone who's otherwise an old-fashioned blend of the two of us. That what you had in mind?"
Rose nodded. "A child of your species, but with enough of me in 'em that Earth can be, not home, I guess, but a default place to go. For you, too, through us. Hell, Harriet would've given you honorary citizenship if you hadn't gone and wrecked her political career." Rose beamed at the Doctor, who wasn't beaming back.
"I won't treat you like some kind of walking, talking Loom, Rose. That's what it would be, the TARDIS would have to meddle with you entirely too much to..."
"Been there, done that, you died for it," Rose interrupted. "Worth doing again if this time our child gets to live for it."
"You realize you're planning our progeny and we haven't ever kissed? When neither of us is possessed, at least."
"You're the one against just shagging," Rose reminded him, grinning. "How much more committed do I have to be? Still, if you want me to even things up..." she said, pulling off the Doctor's socks and bending her head to give his big toe a good, strong suck. His feet were pale and bony, but she was happy to feel that he kept his toenails neatly trimmed. Nobody else she'd been with could've gotten her to suck their toes, that was certain.
"Stop that," the Doctor said unconvincingly.
Rose immediately sat up and dropped her hands off his feet. "Right, no jumping you, I forgot."
"Rose, I can see you've got a lovely picture in your head of us and our baby floating around in the TARDIS as one big happy family," Rose raised an eyebrow at him. "--no, not literally, that takes physical contact -- but it can't happen, technically combinable DNA or not. Gallifreyans aren't adult until age 200 -- you'd be raising a child for the rest of your natural life!"
"Yeah, about that," Rose said. "Seems to me there's a pretty easy solution out there to the whole aging and dying thing. Nanogenes. If they can fix death then wrinkles and arthritis should be no problem."
The Doctor looked completely astounded. "I never thought of that."
"Well, why not?"
"We don't do such things, that's all. Never have. We don't need to steal from other races."
Sometimes she really did want to smack the supercilious Time Lordliness out of him. "Who's 'we'? The same people who told you not to meddle, even when the timeline's gone wrong? The people who wouldn't even let Sarah Jane set foot on their precious planet? Your people are gone, there's no one but other races to get help from. You're not letting me be your 'we', not even with this bit of the time vortex in me, cause I'm going to die! No time soon by my standards, but soon enough for you that you're being a bloody stubborn arse about who we are to each other in the meantime!"
"I'm sorry," Rose said, after a moment of silence. "I really do want to talk about this. If there's things I don't understand, I want you to explain. I guess I just channeled my Mum for a sec there." She blushed.
"Best not to remind me of your mother. A very wise human man I once knew was an advocate of always looking at a girl's mother before making your mind up about her, because one day that's who she's going to turn into." They both shuddered.
"Anyway," Rose said, "there's lots of things we've run across that could make it a lot safer to go about saving worlds. Why don't you have a wristcomm like Jack's, something that would let the TARDIS keep an ear on what's going on when we're outside of her? Or transmats keyed to outside her door, or something. Even in my time there are businessmen in South America who get themselves implanted with GPS chips in case they get kidnapped. An' it seemed like those nanogenes in London were free-roaming; the ones that weren't in Jack's Chula timeship, I mean. Could they follow us about when we're off nearly getting ourselves killed? Or would that take all the fun out of it?"
The Doctor looked gobsmacked. He had so much fun running about, asking people if something had fallen from the sky instead of scanning for alien tech, dressing up like a waiter instead of hacking into ear-pods to eavesdrop on the party, and generally being a busybody and improvising his way through everything. Planning ahead and stocking up on more tools than just a sonic screwdriver had clearly never even occurred to him. Well, if Rose couldn't hold her own against Time Lord intellect, she could at least point out the obvious. All those brains, and he didn't have the common sense to come in out of the rain.
"We haven't got any nanogenes," the Doctor objected, finally. "Jack's blew up with his ship and I told the others in London to self-destruct."
"How 'bout asking for them? I don't know what sort of people the Chula are, but if they've got warships and ambulance ships, I reckon they'd be happy to get the last Time Lord's agreement that he won't go in on the side of whoever they're fighting."
"Rose!" The Doctor was shocked. "I wouldn't interfere anyway. You know that."
"Yeah," she nodded, "I do. But they mightn't. Your reputation prob'ly isn't the best."
"Cheeky. Wouldn't work anyway, though. The Chula were fighting themselves. Civil war, just in their solar system. They'd refined their weapons with diabolical cleverness -- bioweapons that only targeted organics of sufficient complexity. Kill the people without poisoning the water or even damaging the agriculture. Nanogenes were sort of a self-defense -- they needed something that clever and efficient just to keep themselves alive."
"How did it go pear-shaped, then? More than a war is in the first place, I mean. Jack's fake Chula warship was supposed to be the last."
"Bit of a success story, that," the Doctor said, brightening. "Developing time travel is what did it for them. Racially they're a very deliberate, analytical people, and just hopping around to their past and future, they figured out how stupid the civil war was. Weren't tempted to muck about with timelines to make one side or another win; they got rather embarrassed, declared peace, and destroyed all their weapons."
"No more Chula warships," Rose concluded. "Can't imagine they chucked the nanogenes, though. I'm not sayin' you should give them secrets they shouldn't know, or do anything to change their timeline. I'm not even sayin' we should steal from them. Just ask. It won't hurt nothin', and it could mean I really do get to stay with you forever."
"Whether we can get any nanogenes isn't even the issue. We shouldn't. Aging and dying are what humans do; it's an essential part of what you are as a species. If we key nanogenes to human DNA and set them to babysitting you, you won't be human anymore. Eternal life sounds all well and good until you have to watch as everyone you've ever known dies."
"You saying you've got some kind of human-only kink? You'll stop wanting me if I stop aging and become a lot harder to kill?"
"You're deliberately missing the point, Rose," the Doctor sighed.
"No, I'm deliberately dismissing your point. My Mum's going to die before me anyway, unless I get myself killed knocking about with you first. An' she's the only one I have left, except for you. I've lost Mickey already since we can't ever see him again. If it means I get to stay with you, sign me up for being not entirely human anymore." More softly, Rose went on, "If it means I can help you make a new family, an' be part of your family, I want to do it.
"Just tell me this. If we could sort out these problems, me aging and dying too fast, finding a way to side-step whatever storm's coming, getting the right combination of me an' you into a baby that we've figured out how to raise mostly off-planet... would you want to? Will you let yourself look for a way to have us in your life, and not just reject the idea of us?"
For the first time since the kitchen, Rose could see everything she meant to him rising up in the Doctor's eyes. "Oh yes," he said immediately. "I want you with me for as long as I can keep you." Rose was surprised she didn't instantly combust from the heat that created in her. "It's hard to tell myself I deserve to have a family again. Harder to believe the Time Lords would be happy with me engendering a bastardized continuation of our race." He shook his head. "But you deserve to have children. You'd be a great mother. Maybe, if we choose parenthood because of each other, we won't muck it up too badly?"
"Parents always muck it up. Kids turn out alright anyway. And ours would always know it's wanted." Like the Doctor hadn't been, but her knowledge of that was between the TARDIS and her.
"Keeping you healthy and here is the first step, then. Seems awfully simple to just ask the Chula for nanogenes, though. Not much of a plan, more an improvisation." Rose knew she had an expressive face, but he was deliberately making fun of her earlier thoughts about his methods of world-saving, the git.
"You're supposed to be lucky, remember?" she asked, twining her fingers in his right hand, the hand that didn't seem unusual at all anymore. "As long as you and I and the TARDIS stick together, we'll be fine. That's human intuition."
"Right then. And if they turn us down we can at least stay to dinner. Best curry in the Universe comes from Chula." He grinned at her, and Rose wondered what her chances were of persuading him into bed without the guarantee that she'd be able to stay there for the foreseeable centuries.
* * * * * * * *
In the end, getting nanogenes from the Chula proved to be no problem at all, morally or otherwise. Their world had retained scraps of legends about the Time Lords, and they were only too happy to give a representative of that race whatever he asked for. They were grateful, it seemed, that their timeships hadn't been taken away immediately upon their invention, since the Chula had still been in the midst of their civil war at the time. They also happily fed Rose what she had to agree was the best curry she'd ever tasted.
Back at the TARDIS the Doctor immediately set about configuring the nanogenes for both human and Gallifreyan DNA, and with new programming to prevent them, at least for the present, from conflating the two. When the Doctor activated them, they immediately sprang into action, cleansing him and Rose and the TARDIS of voidstuff that they'd never even noticed they were carrying. Nanogenes weren't programmed for emotions, but they almost seemed pleased to be performing their function beyond the expectations of their user. The TARDIS liked them; liked that they interpreted her as a sentient, semi-organic being, and thought they would be very useful. She spent long hours in conversation with the Doctor, who then spent long hours in conversation with Rose, usually in bed.
They visited a planet where the rocks were alive and creatures like sting-rays flew through the air. It wouldn't be the same, but the Doctor had carefully coaxed a new rock formation into being, and left it with its own nanogenes to protect it and guide its growth. In five hundred years or so, a new breed of TARDIS would come of it, and their child would come back to claim it.
Getting pregnant had proved almost distressingly easy for Rose, who'd been hoping for a lot more "practice". With the nanogenes to help her body and the TARDIS to help her mind, she and the Doctor felt as confident as they reasonably could. The Beast's prediction and the Doctor's foreboding receded to unpleasant memories.
"How long are you gonna stay with me?" the Doctor asked her.
"Forever," Rose promised, and this time they both believed she was telling the truth.
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mickat24 asked for Rose/Ten romance/happy ending, strong!Rose as opposed to falling-apart/sycophant!Rose, and the Doctor getting Rose pregnant realistically. This is how I interpreted the latter. Anyone who'd like to write the Doctor/Rose/TARDIS/glowy-gold-Time-Vortex scientific pr0n is welcome to do so, but that person will not be me.