ooc: Playlist
Probably not to be taken too seriously. Adult concepts and explicit lyrics. Some lyrics refer to his relationship with Rosalie and the other Cullens. Seriously. This is pretty cracky and sort of supports the eternal fratboy Emmett idea.
We Like Sportz||The Lonely Island
We like sportz and we don't care who knows//From shooting hoops, to the Super Bowl//We like sportz and we don't care who knows//Football Football Football. Tennis. Hockey. Golf.//The game is starting everyone is here,//I got my snacks, my friends, and a beer//Just two normal guyz hanging out having fun//Kiv: Right guy number 2?//Jorma: Yeah guy number 1.//E to the S to the P to the N//Is all I watch cause I'm the man//If my team loses I'll be mean all night//If you tell me to relax we'll get in a fight//Watching sportz with girls is a pain//They don't know the rules; there's no time to explain//Single, double, triple, home-run//For the celebration I'll shoot my gun//I like my friend, he's a real guys guy//He's not a loud-mouth like that cunt-hole Steve//We like sportz and we don't care who knows//From Wimbledon to the Astrodome
99 Problems||Jay-Z
If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son//I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one.
Low||Flo-Rida ft T-Pain
Shawty had them apple bottom jeans (jeans//Boots with the fur (with the fur)//The whole club was looking at her//She hit the floor (she hit the floor)//Next thing you know//Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low//Them baggy sweat pants//And the Reebok's with the straps (with the straps)//She turned around and gave that big booty a smack (hey!)//She hit the floor (she hit the floor)//Next thing you know//Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low
Hips Don't Lie||Shakira
Hey Girl, I can see your body moving//And it's driving me crazy//And I didn't have the slightest idea//Until I saw you dancing//And when you walk up on the dance floor//Nobody cannot ignore the way you move your body, girl//And everything so unexpected - the way you right and left it//So you can keep on shaking it//I never really knew that she could dance like this//She makes a man want to speak Spanish//Como se llama (si), bonita (si), mi casa (si, Shakira Shakira), su casa//Shakira, Shakira
Hollaback Boy||Cobra Starship
Uh-huh, holy shit//It's about time you get off my dick//A few times you been around that track//But your ass is still fat, it's gonna stay like that//'Cause I ain't your hollaback boy//I ain't your hollaback boy
Cupid's Chokehold||Gym Class Heroes
Take a look at my girlfriend//She's the only one I got (ba ba da da)//Not much of a girlfriend//I never seem to get a lot (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)
...
I know I'm young but if I had to choose her or the sun//I'd be one nocturnal son of a gun
Can't Touch This||MC Hammer
I told you homeboy ( can't touch this)//Yeah, that's how we living and you know (can't touch this)//Look at my eyes, man (You can't touch this)//Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics (can't touch this)//Fresh new kicks, advance//You gotta like that, now you know you wanna dance//So move, outta your seat//And get a fly girl and catch this beat//While it's rolling, hold on//Pump a little bit and let 'em know it's going on//Like that, like that//Cold on a mission so fall them back//Let 'em know, that you're too much//And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch
Baby Got Back||Sir Mix-a-lot
I like big butts and I can not lie//You other brothers can't deny//That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist//And a round thing in your face//You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough//'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed//Deep in the jeans she's wearing//I'm hooked and//I can't stop staring//Oh baby, I wanna get with you//And take your picture
Dick in a Box||The Lonely Island and Justin Timberlake
Hey girl I got somethin' real important to give you//So just sit down and listen//Girl you know we've been together such a long long time//(such a long time)//And now I'm ready to lay it on the line//(Wooow) You know it's Christmas and my heart is open wide//Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind//A gift real special, so take off the top//Take a look inside -- it's my dick in a box//Not gonna get you a diamond ring//That sort of gift don't mean anything//Not gonna get you a fancy car//Girl ya gotta know you're my shining star//Not gonna get you a house in the hills//A girl like you needs somethin' real//Wanna get you somethin' from the heart//Somethin' special girl//It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box babe//It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box girl
Dirt off Your Shoulder||Jay-Z
If you feelin like a pimp nigga, go and brush your shoulders off//Ladies is pimps too, go and brush your shoulders off//Niggaz is crazy baby, don't forget that boy told you//Get, that, dirt off your shoulder
Fuck Her Gently||Tenacious D
This is a song for the ladies//But fellas listen closely//You don't always have to fuck her hard//In fact sometimes that's not right to do//Sometimes you've got to make some love//And fucking give her some smoochies too//Sometimes ya got to squeeze//Sometimes you've got to say please//Sometime you've got to say hey//I'm gonna fuck you softly//I'm gonna screw you gently//I'm gonna hump you sweetly//I'm gonna ball you discreetly//And then you say hey I bought you flowers//And then you say wait a minute sally//I think I got somethin in my teeth//Could you get it out for me//That's fucking teamwork//Whats your favorite position?//That's cool with me//It's not my favorite//But I'll do it for you//What's your favorite dish?//I'm not gonna cook it//But I'll order it from Zanzibar//And then I'm gonna love you completely//And then I'll fucking fuck you discreetly//And then I'll fucking bone you completely//But then I'm gonna fuck you hard//Hard
We Like Sportz||The Lonely Island
We like sportz and we don't care who knows//From shooting hoops, to the Super Bowl//We like sportz and we don't care who knows//Football Football Football. Tennis. Hockey. Golf.//The game is starting everyone is here,//I got my snacks, my friends, and a beer//Just two normal guyz hanging out having fun//Kiv: Right guy number 2?//Jorma: Yeah guy number 1.//E to the S to the P to the N//Is all I watch cause I'm the man//If my team loses I'll be mean all night//If you tell me to relax we'll get in a fight//Watching sportz with girls is a pain//They don't know the rules; there's no time to explain//Single, double, triple, home-run//For the celebration I'll shoot my gun//I like my friend, he's a real guys guy//He's not a loud-mouth like that cunt-hole Steve//We like sportz and we don't care who knows//From Wimbledon to the Astrodome
99 Problems||Jay-Z
If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son//I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one.
Low||Flo-Rida ft T-Pain
Shawty had them apple bottom jeans (jeans//Boots with the fur (with the fur)//The whole club was looking at her//She hit the floor (she hit the floor)//Next thing you know//Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low//Them baggy sweat pants//And the Reebok's with the straps (with the straps)//She turned around and gave that big booty a smack (hey!)//She hit the floor (she hit the floor)//Next thing you know//Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low
Hips Don't Lie||Shakira
Hey Girl, I can see your body moving//And it's driving me crazy//And I didn't have the slightest idea//Until I saw you dancing//And when you walk up on the dance floor//Nobody cannot ignore the way you move your body, girl//And everything so unexpected - the way you right and left it//So you can keep on shaking it//I never really knew that she could dance like this//She makes a man want to speak Spanish//Como se llama (si), bonita (si), mi casa (si, Shakira Shakira), su casa//Shakira, Shakira
Hollaback Boy||Cobra Starship
Uh-huh, holy shit//It's about time you get off my dick//A few times you been around that track//But your ass is still fat, it's gonna stay like that//'Cause I ain't your hollaback boy//I ain't your hollaback boy
Cupid's Chokehold||Gym Class Heroes
Take a look at my girlfriend//She's the only one I got (ba ba da da)//Not much of a girlfriend//I never seem to get a lot (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)
...
I know I'm young but if I had to choose her or the sun//I'd be one nocturnal son of a gun
Can't Touch This||MC Hammer
I told you homeboy ( can't touch this)//Yeah, that's how we living and you know (can't touch this)//Look at my eyes, man (You can't touch this)//Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics (can't touch this)//Fresh new kicks, advance//You gotta like that, now you know you wanna dance//So move, outta your seat//And get a fly girl and catch this beat//While it's rolling, hold on//Pump a little bit and let 'em know it's going on//Like that, like that//Cold on a mission so fall them back//Let 'em know, that you're too much//And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch
Baby Got Back||Sir Mix-a-lot
I like big butts and I can not lie//You other brothers can't deny//That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist//And a round thing in your face//You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough//'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed//Deep in the jeans she's wearing//I'm hooked and//I can't stop staring//Oh baby, I wanna get with you//And take your picture
Dick in a Box||The Lonely Island and Justin Timberlake
Hey girl I got somethin' real important to give you//So just sit down and listen//Girl you know we've been together such a long long time//(such a long time)//And now I'm ready to lay it on the line//(Wooow) You know it's Christmas and my heart is open wide//Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind//A gift real special, so take off the top//Take a look inside -- it's my dick in a box//Not gonna get you a diamond ring//That sort of gift don't mean anything//Not gonna get you a fancy car//Girl ya gotta know you're my shining star//Not gonna get you a house in the hills//A girl like you needs somethin' real//Wanna get you somethin' from the heart//Somethin' special girl//It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box babe//It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box girl
Dirt off Your Shoulder||Jay-Z
If you feelin like a pimp nigga, go and brush your shoulders off//Ladies is pimps too, go and brush your shoulders off//Niggaz is crazy baby, don't forget that boy told you//Get, that, dirt off your shoulder
Fuck Her Gently||Tenacious D
This is a song for the ladies//But fellas listen closely//You don't always have to fuck her hard//In fact sometimes that's not right to do//Sometimes you've got to make some love//And fucking give her some smoochies too//Sometimes ya got to squeeze//Sometimes you've got to say please//Sometime you've got to say hey//I'm gonna fuck you softly//I'm gonna screw you gently//I'm gonna hump you sweetly//I'm gonna ball you discreetly//And then you say hey I bought you flowers//And then you say wait a minute sally//I think I got somethin in my teeth//Could you get it out for me//That's fucking teamwork//Whats your favorite position?//That's cool with me//It's not my favorite//But I'll do it for you//What's your favorite dish?//I'm not gonna cook it//But I'll order it from Zanzibar//And then I'm gonna love you completely//And then I'll fucking fuck you discreetly//And then I'll fucking bone you completely//But then I'm gonna fuck you hard//Hard