Imaginary Friends: Chapter Three
Jared’s surprised when Jensen calls him. He figures Misha must have talked to him, which makes him a bit anxious, but if it’s opened Jensen up to him again, he’s grateful. Jensen mentions that he’s rented a car to drive around Vancouver a bit before heading back home for their short time off. When he says he knows he’s been distant lately and invites Jared out to dinner with him, Jared quickly agrees.
The silence between them is tense and awkward, but Jared lets it linger. Jensen is obviously battling something right now, and he’ll let Jensen talk to him when he’s ready. Still, Jared keeps running through questions in his head, like he’s rehearsing for a scene. He tries to calm himself by thinking that Jensen inviting him out in the first place is a step in the right direction. But he’s lost on what took them in the wrong direction to begin with.
He doesn’t pay much attention to his surroundings at first. Trusting Jensen isn’t something he has to think about anymore, even if they are in a rough spot. But suddenly, it feels like too much time has passed. They’ve been driving for too long, and Jared doesn’t recognize anything around them. Jensen hasn’t said a word, and Jared’s not sure what’s happening, but he’s starting to feel uneasy.
“Where are we going?” Jared asks, trying to keep his voice steady, nonchalant. Jensen twitches, his lips parting for a second, but no words coming out. When Jensen’s mouth closes again with no answers offered, Jared’s anxiety kicks up a notch. “Jensen? What’s going on?”
When Jensen finally stops the car and parks, it’s in an abandoned lot in the middle of nowhere, a look of anguish on his face. Jared barely even registers the sound of Jensen unlocking the doors before his door is opened and hands are grabbing at him, undoing his seatbelt and forcefully pulling him out of the car.
Jensen’s not sure how he manages to get out of the car once Jared is pulled out, Jared’s gasp of fear still ringing in his ears. He’s not sure he can even feel his legs. But he does manage to do it, stepping out and turning around just in time to see the first punch land. Jared’s hit first in the jaw, then the stomach, before being slammed against the car, facing Jensen, who’s suddenly frozen in shock. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.
“Jensen?” Jared calls out to him, confused, hurt, and scared. His eyes are tearing, and he looks at Jensen imploringly, willing him to jump in, to help, to say he didn’t do this, didn’t plan this.
Jensen looks away, his heart pounding, a lump growing in his throat. He tells himself repeatedly that Jared’s not real, that Jared can’t feel things, but this is more difficult than he thought it would be.
“You said you wouldn’t hurt him,” Jensen says weakly, his voice barely carrying over the car to Beck and the five other men with him.
Beck smiles at him and answers by punching Jared in the back. He seems to enjoy Jared’s pained groan, and Jensen suddenly feels sick. “I lied! But I’m surprised at you.” He pulls a knife, one with strange markings on it, like one of the props on Supernatural, and Jensen wonders for a moment if this is all just some bizarre fucking nightmare. “I thought you understood now that this thing isn’t real. Although, it’s true, we haven’t tested him yet, just to be sure he’s the Key.” He twirls the knife a little, so that it catches the moonlight. “You see, we’re all learning about the Key as we go, and Joy? She was right about needing to see it bleed, but she didn’t have this.”
Beck slashes at Jared’s arm - deep, without care or mercy, even if it is just a test to make sure they have the right victim. As the blade slices through, there’s a short burst of light, bright and tinged with green. “There we are!” Beck exclaims, laughing, and it’s all still so much like a nightmare.
Jared’s cry of pain jolts Jensen back to reality, and his heart breaks at the sound, at Jared’s face, tears freely flowing. The light fades quickly, leaving only blood coating Jared’s shirt sleeve. Jared’s panic is practically palpable now, and he looks helpless, even with his size and strength.
“Jensen, please!” Jared glances between his arm and Jensen, then searches Jensen’s expression for something, anything that says Jensen isn’t responsible for this. “What’s happening?” He’s jerked back from the car, still facing Jensen, held by men he’s not even trying to defend himself against. He just watches Jensen, and Jensen sees his expression change, sees the moment Jared’s denial drops, and he realizes that Jensen brought him here and isn’t going to help him. His eyes lower, and Jensen can see the weight of it drag his body down, the Knights lifting him back up. He’s crying, lost and defeated, and Jensen feels like he’s been torn apart from the inside out.
“Do it!” one of the other Knights shouts. “Destroy it!”
The order is given, and the knife is raised, this time for a fatal blow to Jared’s heart, and Jensen makes a noise he can’t identify, couldn’t replicate if he tried, springing to life. He’s not even sure how he makes it around the car, and he feels like he can’t move fast enough. But he lands his own punch to Beck’s jaw, grabbing his wrist and yanking it back, away from Jared. He turns and throws Beck down, the knife clattering on the ground. Part of him wants to dive for it, but part of him is too worried about what the rest of the Knights might do to Jared while he’s making that move, and he rounds on them, throwing another punch to the nearest one.
“What are you doing?!” Beck shouts.
Jensen turns back to catch Beck’s wrist again as he springs towards Jared with the knife. Hands grab Jensen from behind, and he braces himself for a blow. He realizes with dismay that he might have just led both himself and Jared to their deaths, but he’ll try everything in his power to get Jared out of this. He knows he’s realizing too late that Misha was right. All the feelings he’s had for Jared come flooding back to him, and he cries out in frustration, in anger at his own stupidity and stubbornness.
But the hands on Jensen’s back are wrenched away suddenly, as the Knight who grabbed him is thrown through the air. Beck freezes, eyes widening at something behind Jensen as he pushes him aside.
“Nobody touches my Key!”
Jensen knows that voice all too well, and fear grips him. He turns, looking for Jared, only to find him dumped on the ground, Beck and the rest of the Knights now circling Joy.
“This just might work on you, too, bitch,” Beck says, wielding the knife and grinning. She steps towards him, smiling sweetly.
“Oh, I’d really love to see you try that.”
Jensen slowly drops to the ground beside Jared. He knows this fight won’t last long, and the Knights are done for. They have mere seconds, if they’re going to get away. “Hey!” he whispers, crouching and gripping Jared by the shoulders. “Jared, get in the car.” Jared looks at him, eyes clouding over with anger and distrust as he flinches away, and Jensen just reaches out and grips him harder, adrenaline coursing through his veins. “Jared, please get in the car. We have to go! Now!”
He can see Jared debating it, knows it’s deserved, but for a horrifying moment, he realizes Jared might think that Joy is the good guy, for saving him. Still, Jared must have seen something unnatural in her, sees it now, as she starts tearing through the Knights, and Jensen’s relieved when Jared follows his lead. But it still stings, knowing that it’s not because there’s any shred of connection left between them. It’s because the devil Jared knows is better than the one he doesn’t.
Jared feels like he’s moving in slow motion in his attempts to rush back into the car. He can’t put a name to anything he’s feeling, just knows he has to get one foot in front of the other, slide in, and get the door closed. Jensen starts the car as soon as possible, and then that woman appears in front of them, in their headlights. Her eyes focus on Jared, and Jared freezes, his heart pounding. She’s smiling at him, gazing at him adoringly, her arms reaching out to him, and he tries to lean back in his seat, away from her grasp, even though she isn’t close enough to touch.
“Fuck,” Jensen curses, slamming his foot down on the gas, and Jared’s jolted back in his seat.
There’s no time to ask what the hell Jensen’s doing, and Jared watches in horror as the car slams into the woman, her body thrown up and over it, the sound sickening. Jensen doesn’t stop, doesn’t slow, and Jared turns to look behind them just in time to catch a glimpse of the woman standing up and brushing herself off.
“I’ll explain,” Jensen says, but the rest of the ride is silent, Jared’s mind racing more than it ever has.
He settles as they drive, feeling wounded and drained from all that’s happened. He has no idea where Jensen’s taking them, but he doesn’t ask any more questions. He’s not sure it would even do much good. He feels dark and alone, like whatever happens next doesn’t matter, anyway. Nothing makes sense anymore.
They drive for a long time before Jensen stops at a drug store. Then there’s another long stretch before they’re parked in the lot of a rundown motel. Jared would laugh at how Sam and Dean it is, if his whole life hadn’t suddenly gone to shit.
“Wait here,” Jensen murmurs, as if Jared was even willing to move. Jensen leaves the car, taking the keys with him, and Jared just leans his head back, closes his eyes, and swallows, concentrating on breathing.
“Hey.” Jensen calls to him when he comes back, before he opens the door to let Jared out. It seems like an effort to not scare Jared after what happened the last time Jensen parked the car, but nothing’s as it seems now. “Come on. We’re room number 12.”
Jared just stares at Jensen for a minute, though it might be longer. It’s strange, looking at Jensen now and not knowing what he’s thinking. Jensen hesitates in offering Jared a hand, and Jared unbuckles his seatbelt, slowly standing up on his own. It’s then that he remembers how badly cut his arm is, and he supports it with his other hand, Jensen grabbing the bag from the drug store out of the car before closing the door behind him.
Jensen leads Jared to their motel room, feeling paranoid in the open space of the parking lot. He knows the safety of the car was an illusion, given what they’re up against, but his skin crawls with the feeling of being watched out here. Normally when they’re making their way to a building like this it’s all make-believe on a set. This is too surreal, and it makes him more jittery than he knows Dean would be. It’s an odd moment when he wishes he had the strength of his character, and he’s not sure how much longer he can handle it without some help. He’d texted Misha as he paid for the room, and he wonders how long it will take Misha to get there. He couldn’t call. He could barely even speak.
Feeling vulnerable, Jensen curses at the way his hand shakes, unable to fit the key in the lock of their room door. Of course a place like this would still have actual keys. After a few tries, he gets the door open. Once Jared steps in behind him, Jensen immediately closes and locks the door, dragging a chair in front of it to fix under the doorknob, then drawing the curtains before turning the lights on. He looks at Jared, who just stands there, unsure of what to do next, and he swallows, moving towards Jared and cautiously grabbing his good arm.
“Let’s try to get you cleaned up.”
Jensen grabs the bag of first aid supplies he picked up and leads Jared to the bathroom, the light flickering before staying on, a grossly tinged yellow bathing the room. He closes the toilet lid and sits Jared down on it, taking a closer look at his arm.
“Fuck,” he curses, just a whisper. Tears come to his eyes, and he blinks them away, trying not to think about how this probably needs stitches, and how he’s responsible for it.
Jared flinches when his shirt sleeve is pulled away from the wound, and Jensen apologizes as a reflex, then feels the shame of it. “Sorry” isn’t going to fix any of this. He does the best he can to clean and bandage the length of the wound, even as his hands still shake.
“Didn’t you just try to have me killed?”
It’s the first time Jared’s spoken since just after his arm was sliced open, and it’s the first hint of anger, of Jared’s emotions returning. Jensen stops cold, Jared’s arm still lifted in his hands as he places the last bit of medical tape on the bandage. His mouth goes dry, and he can’t think, can’t speak. What could he possibly say that would make this alright? He could say that he hadn’t meant to have Jared killed, which is at least halfway true. He had meant to have a Key he didn’t think was human humanely destroyed.
“I’m sorry.” It’s so fucking stupid, and he hates himself for saying it, but it slips out, and he says it anyway. “I…” His voice sticks in his throat, and he can’t even look at Jared. “Come on.” He takes Jared by his good arm again and leads him to the bedroom, sitting him down on the edge of one of the two beds. Jared follows along the entire time without protesting, and Jensen knows it’s because he has nothing better to do. “Nothing I’ll say will make you feel better,” Jensen says, looking down at his hands. “Nothing will make it right. But I’ll try to explain.”
The story is slow, halting, Jensen having to make it sound believable, even though all of it really did happen. He tells Jared about the monk in his trailer, that Misha also knew about all of this and tried to get through to him, but that he was too stupid, stubborn, and scared to really listen. He tells Jared what his plan was for that night, and that he realized just how fucking wrong he was when he saw Jared get hurt. He tries not to cry, because he doesn’t want it to seem like a ploy for forgiveness. He knows he doesn’t deserve forgiveness, and he’s not going to try to force it out of Jared. Keeping his emotions at bay makes the story drag out longer.
“This is crazy,” Jared says softly. “All of this…You’re crazy.”
“God, I wish I was,” Jensen answers, dropping down onto the opposite bed. “But you saw it, right? That light when…when they cut you? And Joy, the woman we hit. She was fine when you looked back, right?”
Jared shakes his head, as if he doesn’t want to believe. “No, I…I was just seeing things. That’s not possible.”
Jensen’s phone buzzes, and it frightens them both, the room otherwise silent. He checks it and sees a text from Misha: I’m here, let me in. Jensen makes his way to the door, checking the peephole before moving the chair, undoing the locks, and allowing Misha inside.
Misha pushes past him with a duffle bag, worried. “I got a cab as soon as I got your text. What did you do?” he asks, accusing, then stops to turn and redo the locks and set up the chair before Jensen even gets to it. He doesn’t pay any more attention to Jensen, just drops the bag and breezes past him to Jared, who actually brightens up a little when he sees him.
“Misha!” Jared’s eyes are full of hope, his arms open, and Jensen feels wounded. Before tonight, Jared would’ve reacted that way with him. But Misha’s the one who’s been kind to Jared through all of this, who’s accepted him and still been trustworthy.
“What happened?” Misha sits down next to Jared and hugs him, and Jensen watches as Jared takes in the comfort he so desperately needs. “Are you okay?” Misha asks, pulling back to look at Jared, noting the bruises and the bandaged arm. He turns to Jensen again, glaring. “What the fuck did you do?”
“I fucked up,” Jensen says, his voice breaking, and he rushes to get it back under control. “I called Beck, and set up a meeting with the Knights. They tried to…” He doesn’t have to say it for Misha to understand. “Joy showed up, and we got away while they fought. Or while she killed them all.”
“Is it true?” Jared interrupts, and Misha turns back to look at him. “All these things he’s talking about…He said that you believe it, too.”
Misha glances at Jensen, angry with him for all that’s happened tonight, but wanting to talk to Jared. “Maybe you should shower. Give us some time. I brought some clothes and toiletries in the bag.”
“Maybe you should go,” Jared adds, and Jensen hesitates, unsure which option he should take.
“Shower,” Misha says, his tone a bit softer, and Jensen complies.
Misha waits until Jensen is in the bathroom with the water running before speaking again. “There are a lot of people looking for you. If we send him out there alone, we don’t know what might happen to him.”
Jared scoffs. “He didn’t care what happened to me.”
Misha shakes his head, hand on Jared’s shoulder. “I know a lot happened tonight, but you still wouldn’t send a man to his death.” He pauses, thinking. “How did you get out of there, anyway?”
Silence spreads between them. Jared doesn’t know how to say it. He feels the barest hint of guilt, but too much wrong has been done to him tonight for him to fully acknowledge it.
“He saved you,” Misha says, as if he, too, is just now realizing it. He looks hopeful, and in that moment, Jared hates it. He’s not ready to think of Jensen as one of the good guys just yet. Still, he nods, not wanting to come off as too much of a child. “How much did he tell you about all this?”
Jared sighs, trying to piece it all together again. When Misha confirms it, he only feels worse than he already did. “What you’re saying means that everyone around me or connected to me is in danger.” Misha hesitates to speak, and Jared continues, dark thoughts filling him up. “It means that I’m not real.” He says it even though Jensen dispelled it earlier, and it cuts him deeper than the Knight’s knife did.
“You are real,” Misha protests, resting a hand on Jared’s shoulder. “No matter how you came into this world, you’re real. I think even Jensen realizes that now.” He sighs, trying to catch Jared’s eye. “Please don’t give up.”
Jared would tear up, but suddenly he just feels so tired. They sit in silence for a bit longer, until the water in the bathroom stops and Jensen comes back into the room, towel around his waist.
“If you need more time, I can get dressed and…step outside.”
“Nobody’s going back out there tonight,” Misha says, and Jared doesn’t have it in him anymore to make a snide remark. “I think we all just need to get some rest and regroup in the morning.”
Jensen nods, not looking at them. “I’ll take the floor.”
“You’ll take a bed,” Misha orders, and Jared’s head turns towards Misha so fast, he nearly gets whiplash. Misha holds a hand up to him, and Jared silently fumes. “Enough shit has happened tonight. I doubt any of us will get a good sleep either way, but we need to be as well-rested as possible. All of us.” There’s a pause where Misha looks between them, still angry at Jensen and still worried about Jared, like he wants to be aware of his every move. “Jared and I can share,” he says, eyeing Jensen again, “You’re on your own.”
Jared’s done with protesting, done with everything. He does nothing more but kick his shoes off and flop on his side of the bed, facing the wall.
Jensen doesn’t sleep, because he can’t. He’s not sure how any of them are expected to sleep, his mind racing. He’s not only wracked with guilt, but paranoia, wondering if they’ve been followed, what their next move is, and how they’ll survive. He closes his eyes, trying to calm down, and then he listens carefully.
Silence. Silence only slightly broken by deep, even breathing. He wonders if Jared and Misha did manage to fall asleep. And then he starts hearing other sounds, or, at least, thinking he does. A voice? A car door? Footsteps? He’s all too aware of how vulnerable they are sleeping in this motel. His stomach churns with anxiety and adrenaline, eyes closing to picture what he’d done to Jared again and how close they’d both come to being killed. It’s too much. He feels like he can’t breathe, like he needs to scream, like the state he’s in is somehow making him a homing device to find them.
When Jensen leaves, he also leaves the car keys. He wants Jared and Misha to have some other means of escape, if anything should happen. He heads down the road with his wallet, phone, and the clothes on his back. He’s not sure if there’s anything he can do. There probably isn’t. But he figures he can start with some research.
Chapter 4