The Beaver Story
THIS IS NOT SLASH. OR SEXUAL IN ANY WAY.
So, I had this random convo with some BSB friends. They were talking about Nano and stuff, and...well, here's what happened. (I don't know much about Nano, though people keep trying to get me to join. :P)
Y: OKAY. i need you ladies to give me three random words/objects
Y: note: RANDOM
Me: beaver, pool, stone
Me: what do you need them for, the war? do you like use them in your writing? like, "nick saw a beaver in his pool, so he threw a stone at it"?
We got a case of the giggles after that, and somehow decided that that was a story that needed to be written. I actually joined in some word wars and started writing it. Here's what I got so far:
Kevin groaned and rolled over, the sleep slowly leaving his brain. Whoever was calling this early was about to get a mouthful from him. He’d only just gotten back to sleep after tending to Mason.
He blindly reached out for the phone, his hand only grasping air. Finally opening his eyes, he picked the phone up out of its cradle and lifted it to his ear.
“…’lo?” he rasped tiredly.
“KEVIN.”
He flinched at the voice that nearly shouted into his ear. Nick. Of course. Who else? Leave it to him…
“Nick, this better be good,” Kevin grumbled, pulling his pillow out from under his head and covering his face with it.
“GUESS WHAT’S IN MY POOL.”
Kevin pulled the pillow down, flopping it down onto his legs.
“Huh??”
“GUESS WHAT’S IN MY FUCKING POOL!”
“What??” Kevin asked, rolling his eyes.
“A BEAVER!” Nick exclaimed in exasperation. “A fucking BEAVER!”
Kevin sat up in bed, running a hand through his hair, carefully trying not to wake Kristin, who slept beside him.
“Nick?”
“…What?” Nick asked, sounding as if he’d just realized there was another living person on the other end of the line.
“Why the fuck did you call me?”
A long pause followed.
“…There’s a beaver in my pool.”
Kevin sighed, absentmindedly scratching just above his brow with his thumb.
“And what do you want me to do about it?”
“I don’t know, man!” Nick whined. “I figured you would know what to do! There’s a fucking beaver in my pool!”
“Yes, Nick, I know,” Kevin said, smacking himself in the face and shaking his head. “I heard you the first 50 times.”
“I mean, you should see this thing! The motherfucker’s just out there all swimmin’ around all happy and shit! Like it fuckin’ owns the place! Little shit…”
“I’m going back to bed, Nick,” Kevin said, laying back down underneath the covers.
“What?!” Nick cried. “No! Kevin, you didn’t tell me what to do to get rid of this thing!”
“Jesus Christ, Nick, I don’t know! It’s a beaver. Fuckin’…throw stones at it, or something!”
“…Okay. Well…thanks, man. Sorry to wake you.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Kevin huffed, placing the phone back down in its cradle and closing his eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Brian!” Nick said, flinging open the door. “I’m glad you’re here. I need you to help me with something.”
Brian stepped through Nick’s front door with a confused look on his face.
“Um…Nick? I came here to pick you up to take you to the studio. We have to go.”
“Yeah, we will in a minute,” Nick said, grabbing Brian by the arm and dragging him to the back of the house. “I need you to help me for a minute.”
“Okay…” Brian said, reluctantly following along.
Nick led Brian out the back door and into his yard, where the pool lay before them. He pointed out to the middle of the water.
“Look at that!” he said, disgusted.
Brian leaned forward, squinting as he peered forward, trying to make out the figure swimming around in the water.
“Whoa...When did you get a…beaver?”
“I didn’t get a beaver!” Nick said, rolling his eyes, and smacking the back of Brian’s head lightly. “This little bitch has just taken my pool over! I’m surprised the little shit hasn’t built a fuckin’ dam yet!”
“Wow.” Brian straightened, turning to look at Nick, and shrugged. “So what do you want me to do?”
“I want you to help me get rid of him!” Nick said, reaching down to pick up a bag left by the side of the pool. “Take one.”
“What is it?” Brian asked, reaching his hand in and pulling something out of the bag. “Stones?” he asked, looking down at the small round object in his palm.
“Yeah,” Nick replied, grabbing a few out of the bag for himself and tossing them out to the middle of the pool. “DAMNIT! It didn’t even flinch!”
“What are you doing?!” Brian exclaimed, his eyes widening.
“I’m tryin’ to get it to leave!” Nick said, reaching in the bag for more stones. “This is what Kevin told me to do.”
“Nick, you might hurt it!” Brian said, grabbing Nick’s hand before he could throw the next few stones. “Stop!”
“But…” Nick hesitated, looking down at the stones in his hand. “Kevin told me…”
“Well, Kevin was wrong,” Brian said, letting Nick go. “Just because he’s into the environment, that doesn’t mean he knows how to get rid of problem beavers. Did you call him to ask him about this??”
“I figured he’d know what to do,” Nick said, shrugging.
“Oh, Nick,” Brian said, shaking his head. “You can’t do this. You could injure the poor thing.”
Nick stood there at the edge of the pool, watching the beaver swim back and forth, tail trailing behind it.
“So…what do I do now?”
“I don’t know,” Brian said, pausing to think. “Have you tried just going in there to get it out? Maybe you’d scare it, and it would swim away and get out?”
“I don’t know,” Nick said, chewing his bottom lip in uncertainty. “What if it bites? What if it has rabies?”
“I’m sure you’ll be fine. But you can try it later. We need to get to the studio.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AJ stood in the doorframe, hand reaching into the bag of popcorn and popping a few of the kernels into his mouth. He snickered.
“I could watch this all day.”
Nick turned around and glared at him, pulling his shirt off and tossing it off to the side of the pool. He slowly neared the pool, his eyes never straying from the beaver. He heard AJ laughing behind him when he inched down the stairs of the pool into the water. He shivered, suddenly feeling goosebumps on his skin.
“Come on, Carter,” Nick muttered to himself. “It’s just a beaver. Stop being such a fuckin’ baby.”
Taking a deep breath, he walked through the shallow end and began swimming once he reached the deeper water, getting closer and closer to the beaver.
That's just what I got from the word wars. It's completely ridiculous, I know, but it was fun. :P I might actually finish it at some point...
Part 2
So, I had this random convo with some BSB friends. They were talking about Nano and stuff, and...well, here's what happened. (I don't know much about Nano, though people keep trying to get me to join. :P)
Y: OKAY. i need you ladies to give me three random words/objects
Y: note: RANDOM
Me: beaver, pool, stone
Me: what do you need them for, the war? do you like use them in your writing? like, "nick saw a beaver in his pool, so he threw a stone at it"?
We got a case of the giggles after that, and somehow decided that that was a story that needed to be written. I actually joined in some word wars and started writing it. Here's what I got so far:
Kevin groaned and rolled over, the sleep slowly leaving his brain. Whoever was calling this early was about to get a mouthful from him. He’d only just gotten back to sleep after tending to Mason.
He blindly reached out for the phone, his hand only grasping air. Finally opening his eyes, he picked the phone up out of its cradle and lifted it to his ear.
“…’lo?” he rasped tiredly.
“KEVIN.”
He flinched at the voice that nearly shouted into his ear. Nick. Of course. Who else? Leave it to him…
“Nick, this better be good,” Kevin grumbled, pulling his pillow out from under his head and covering his face with it.
“GUESS WHAT’S IN MY POOL.”
Kevin pulled the pillow down, flopping it down onto his legs.
“Huh??”
“GUESS WHAT’S IN MY FUCKING POOL!”
“What??” Kevin asked, rolling his eyes.
“A BEAVER!” Nick exclaimed in exasperation. “A fucking BEAVER!”
Kevin sat up in bed, running a hand through his hair, carefully trying not to wake Kristin, who slept beside him.
“Nick?”
“…What?” Nick asked, sounding as if he’d just realized there was another living person on the other end of the line.
“Why the fuck did you call me?”
A long pause followed.
“…There’s a beaver in my pool.”
Kevin sighed, absentmindedly scratching just above his brow with his thumb.
“And what do you want me to do about it?”
“I don’t know, man!” Nick whined. “I figured you would know what to do! There’s a fucking beaver in my pool!”
“Yes, Nick, I know,” Kevin said, smacking himself in the face and shaking his head. “I heard you the first 50 times.”
“I mean, you should see this thing! The motherfucker’s just out there all swimmin’ around all happy and shit! Like it fuckin’ owns the place! Little shit…”
“I’m going back to bed, Nick,” Kevin said, laying back down underneath the covers.
“What?!” Nick cried. “No! Kevin, you didn’t tell me what to do to get rid of this thing!”
“Jesus Christ, Nick, I don’t know! It’s a beaver. Fuckin’…throw stones at it, or something!”
“…Okay. Well…thanks, man. Sorry to wake you.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Kevin huffed, placing the phone back down in its cradle and closing his eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Brian!” Nick said, flinging open the door. “I’m glad you’re here. I need you to help me with something.”
Brian stepped through Nick’s front door with a confused look on his face.
“Um…Nick? I came here to pick you up to take you to the studio. We have to go.”
“Yeah, we will in a minute,” Nick said, grabbing Brian by the arm and dragging him to the back of the house. “I need you to help me for a minute.”
“Okay…” Brian said, reluctantly following along.
Nick led Brian out the back door and into his yard, where the pool lay before them. He pointed out to the middle of the water.
“Look at that!” he said, disgusted.
Brian leaned forward, squinting as he peered forward, trying to make out the figure swimming around in the water.
“Whoa...When did you get a…beaver?”
“I didn’t get a beaver!” Nick said, rolling his eyes, and smacking the back of Brian’s head lightly. “This little bitch has just taken my pool over! I’m surprised the little shit hasn’t built a fuckin’ dam yet!”
“Wow.” Brian straightened, turning to look at Nick, and shrugged. “So what do you want me to do?”
“I want you to help me get rid of him!” Nick said, reaching down to pick up a bag left by the side of the pool. “Take one.”
“What is it?” Brian asked, reaching his hand in and pulling something out of the bag. “Stones?” he asked, looking down at the small round object in his palm.
“Yeah,” Nick replied, grabbing a few out of the bag for himself and tossing them out to the middle of the pool. “DAMNIT! It didn’t even flinch!”
“What are you doing?!” Brian exclaimed, his eyes widening.
“I’m tryin’ to get it to leave!” Nick said, reaching in the bag for more stones. “This is what Kevin told me to do.”
“Nick, you might hurt it!” Brian said, grabbing Nick’s hand before he could throw the next few stones. “Stop!”
“But…” Nick hesitated, looking down at the stones in his hand. “Kevin told me…”
“Well, Kevin was wrong,” Brian said, letting Nick go. “Just because he’s into the environment, that doesn’t mean he knows how to get rid of problem beavers. Did you call him to ask him about this??”
“I figured he’d know what to do,” Nick said, shrugging.
“Oh, Nick,” Brian said, shaking his head. “You can’t do this. You could injure the poor thing.”
Nick stood there at the edge of the pool, watching the beaver swim back and forth, tail trailing behind it.
“So…what do I do now?”
“I don’t know,” Brian said, pausing to think. “Have you tried just going in there to get it out? Maybe you’d scare it, and it would swim away and get out?”
“I don’t know,” Nick said, chewing his bottom lip in uncertainty. “What if it bites? What if it has rabies?”
“I’m sure you’ll be fine. But you can try it later. We need to get to the studio.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AJ stood in the doorframe, hand reaching into the bag of popcorn and popping a few of the kernels into his mouth. He snickered.
“I could watch this all day.”
Nick turned around and glared at him, pulling his shirt off and tossing it off to the side of the pool. He slowly neared the pool, his eyes never straying from the beaver. He heard AJ laughing behind him when he inched down the stairs of the pool into the water. He shivered, suddenly feeling goosebumps on his skin.
“Come on, Carter,” Nick muttered to himself. “It’s just a beaver. Stop being such a fuckin’ baby.”
Taking a deep breath, he walked through the shallow end and began swimming once he reached the deeper water, getting closer and closer to the beaver.
That's just what I got from the word wars. It's completely ridiculous, I know, but it was fun. :P I might actually finish it at some point...
Part 2