Coming Home, Part 4
Title: Coming Home
Fandom: RPS
Characters: Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki
Prompt: 022. Enemies
fanfic100 table: here
Word Count: 29,073
Rating: NC-17 to start, but mostly R.
Warnings: Violence, angst, character death, and the one hardcore smex scene that I just had to throw in at the beginning.
Summary: The best way for me to summarize this is to just say that it's a J2 version of All Dogs Go To Heaven, but with humans instead of dogs, gay sex, less singing, some cursing, and just a tad more violence, considering the movie is pretty damn dark for an animated kids' movie.
Disclaimer: This is a shameless ripoff of an animated kids' movie made in 1989 with a squeeing fangirl's perfect cast. In other words, I am a loser. :P
Author's Notes: This idea randomly came to me one night, so I took it and ran with it. It made me ridiculously happy, even though it's sad (like the movie), and this is the end result. I don't usually write AU's, or anything like this, but I had so much fun with this Jensen, it was ridiculous. As if I didn't love the man enough already.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Jared stood behind the bar counter, polishing the wood. He hadn’t stopped thinking about Jensen since he’d left, and his worry was turning to fear the longer Jensen was gone. He looked around the place, finding it empty, none of the paid crew hanging around in the main room like they usually did after closing.
“Hey!” he called out, stopping for a moment and stepping out from behind the bar. “Can I get some help in here? This place doesn’t clean itself, you know!” He huffed a sigh when no one answered him, and turned back to the bar, gasping in pain when he was suddenly shoved forward into the hard wood, the air knocked out of him as he fell to the floor. Hands gripped him from behind and turned him around, slamming him back down on the floor. He grunted, trying to catch his breath, his heart hammering in his chest, and looked up to see Kane looming over him. “Oh, God,” he choked out, turning his head to see the main room suddenly looking crowded again, this time with Kane’s gang.
“Where’s Jensen?” Kane demanded, his hand slipping around Jared’s throat. Jared’s eyes widened, his chest heaving and skin crawling with a deep itch.
“I don’t know,” he said honestly, voice shaky.
“Really?” Kane challenged, his grip tightening. Jared choked, and Kane laughed darkly. “Are you sure about that?”
“Ye…Yes,” Jared choked out, gasping for air. Kane let up, removing his hand, and Jared breathed in deeply, shaking his head. “I don’t know where he is, I swear! Please, just…don’t…”
“To Jensen,” Kane said, grinning and pulling his fist back, “With love.”
****
Jensen carried Mackenzie all the way to Danneel’s house, cradling her in his arms and shushing her when she stirred. She needed rest, he knew that much. She turned her body into his, curling up in his arms, against his chest, and he could feel the warmth of her skin through his shirt. He walked with Jason ahead of him, the rest of the gang surrounding him, attempting to conceal him and Mackenzie from anyone who might be watching. He breathed a sigh of relief when they finally came to Danneel’s front door, Jason turning and offering him a smile.
“I think this is your stop,” he said, patting Jensen on the back.
“Thank you,” Jensen said, turning to face the others, “All of you.”
“Just get her inside,” Jason said, already turning away to head back home. “And let us know if we can help you again.”
“I will,” Jensen promised, opening up Danneel’s door and carrying Mackenzie up the stairs, beginning to feel the strain of his journey.
“Jensen!” Danneel called, catching sight of him from the top of the stairs and rushing down to meet him halfway, taking Mackenzie into her own arms. “Oh my God…what happened?”
“She’s sick,” Jensen explained, dragging himself up the rest of the stairs. “She needs to rest.” She led him past the boys’ rooms, where they were already asleep in their beds, and laid Mackenzie down in the room she’d left Jensen in before, covering her with blankets.
“Where are you coming from?” she asked, tucking the girl in and feeling her head.
“Far,” Jensen answered, sagging against the doorway. “I had to track her to the, uh…‘wallet family’s’ house. Then Kane showed up, and I had to bring her back here.”
“Jensen, she’s really burning up,” Danneel said, worriedly placing a hand on Mackenzie’s forehead again. “She might need a doctor.”
“Shit,” Jensen cursed, holding his head in his hands. “I don’t even know any doctors.”
“It’s okay,” Danneel said, walking over to him and rubbing his arm gently. “We’ll find one. But I’ll just keep an eye on her for now, okay? You should at least sit down for a while.”
“Yeah,” Jensen said, walking in and taking a seat on the end of Mackenzie’s bed. “Yeah, I guess I should.”
****
Jared groaned in pain, but continued on, limping away from the burning building behind him. He could feel blood trickling down the side of his face, could taste it in the split in his lip, and he cradled his likely broken arm against his chest. He’d tried to catalogue his injuries, but lost count. It didn’t matter, anyway. Everything hurt. He was surprised he could even still stand, but knew he had to do a lot more than that if he was going to survive. He had to get to Jensen, and the only place he could think to go to try and find him was Danneel’s. He fought through pain, blood, and tears to get there, pausing every so often to sit and catch his breath. When he finally got to Danneel’s front door, he wasted no time in opening it and calling for Jensen, painfully limping up the stairs.
“Jensen!” he yelled, hearing his voice echo throughout the building. “Jensen!”
“Hey! Quiet!” He heard Jensen hiss, footsteps hurrying towards the stairs. “Squeaker’s sick, and she needs her sleep.”
“Oh,” Jared laughed without humor, finally catching sight of Jensen at the top of the stairs, “You’re breakin’ my heart.”
“Oh my God!” Jensen rushed down the stairs, gently wrapping an arm around him and helping him up the stairs. “What happened to you?”
“I’ll tell you what happened to me,” Jared said, sighing with relief when they finally reached the living room. “Kane happened to me…with about fifty of his thugs.”
“Jared, I’m so sorry,” Jensen said, genuinely apologetic, his sorrow and guilt quickly turning to seething anger. “That motherfucker…I’ll kill him!”
“Yeah, well,” Jared limped through the opened door of Mackenzie’s room, leading Jensen to the window and pointing at the plume of smoke on the horizon, “That’s not all. You see that? That’s our place!”
“What?” Jensen asked, staring out at the smoke in shock.
“See, Jensen, you wanted to fix Kane, but he fixed us,” Jared said, keeping his voice low and limping back out to the living room, Jensen following slowly behind him. “All of this just went too far.” He could feel his emotions building up, bursting forth in a rush of words, and he turned to Jensen. “You said you wanted revenge, and I told you we shouldn’t do it. I just wanted to get the hell outta here. But I stayed, because I love you. Then you wanted to kidnap the girl, and I thought you were nuts, but I did it, and I helped, because I love you. Then you told me we had to do what the girl wanted, and keep her happy, and I thought, ‘This is stupid! She’s gonna get us killed!’ But I stayed, and I did it, because I love you. But, tonight…” He paused, unable to keep himself from crying, tears mixing with the blood on his face, “Tonight, Jensen, he tried to kill me, and you were out with this…this girl.” He stopped for a moment, wiping at his eyes, and saw Jensen doing the same. “Look, I say we do what I asked you from the beginning, and we just leave. We get out of town together and call it even.” Jensen looked at him mournfully, eyes full of tears, and glanced back at Mackenzie’s room.
“Jared, I can’t,” he choked out, voice barely audible. “I can’t. Not yet. I have to…”
“You have to what?” Jared blurted out, cutting him off. He was hurt and panicked, wanting nothing more than for both of them to finally be safe. “ Jensen, you have to fucking stay alive! You’re fucking crazy to stay here any longer than you already have.” He shook his head, not waiting for Jensen’s excuses. “And it’s not just business anymore, it’s personal. You love the girl, you care about the girl, and probably more than you do me, now.”
“How can you say that?” Jensen rasped, staring at him in disbelief. “How can you even think that? I love you Jared! I always have!” Jared saw the hurt in his eyes and immediately regretted his words. Now he was taking things too far. Jensen was doing the right thing by the kid, and he’d always loved and protected Jared. He couldn’t pretend that wasn’t true now.
“You’re right,” he admitted, lowering his head in shame. “You’re right, Jensen, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m just hurt, and scared, and…”
“What do you want me to say, Jared?” Jensen’s voice rose, and Jared looked up at him, seeing Jensen more frustrated than he ever had. Jensen was snapping, reaching his breaking point. He was at his wit’s end, for the first time in his life, the anger in his eyes showing that he knew that, too. “You want me to tell you that I don’t care about her?” he asked, nearly shouting now. “You want me to say I was just pretending and using her all this time? Fine! I’ll say it! I don’t care about the girl! I’m using the girl! And when we’re done with her, we’ll dump her in an orphanage! Is that okay with you?!”
“No, Jensen, I…” Jared started, attempting to calm him, but he trailed off, his eyes suddenly catching movement behind Jensen. His jaw dropped when he saw that it was Mackenzie, woken from her slumber and staring at the back of Jensen’s head in shock, tears rolling down her cheeks. Jensen’s face fell, as if he could tell just from the look Jared gave him that the girl was behind him, and that she’d heard the horrible things he’d said. He turned to her just as she bolted down the stairs.
“No, please, Squeaker, wait!” Jensen called after her, his breath visibly catching in his throat when they heard her scream seconds later. “NO!”
Jensen tore down the stairs before Jared could reach him, but Jared hobbled after him anyway, making his way down the stairs and nearly tripping on Mackenzie’s bunny doll, staring up at him from where it had been dropped on the last step. Jared suddenly hated himself for coming here and causing so much trouble. Kane was behind this. That much was obvious. He’d taken her again, and Jensen was chasing after them, trying to save her. The bastard had probably followed Jared here. Danneel was suddenly behind him, picking the doll up and shoving it at him, the three boys asking what was happening from the top of the stairs.
“You should take this to 402 Maple Street,” she said, and Jared nodded, repeating the address in his head. “They’ll know what to do with it. And hurry!”
Jared forced himself to run, despite his injuries. He needed to get some help, and fast. Jensen and Mackenzie were counting on him. He ran through the neighborhood, his entire body protesting, pausing every so often to ask for directions and make sure he was going the right way. Before he knew it, he had his own little crowd following him, rallying around him once he told them Jensen was in trouble. The last time he made a stop, he ran into Jason, almost expecting trouble from him after hearing about his rivalry with Jensen.
“Hey,” he panted, taking the chance anyway, “Can you point me towards 402 Maple Street?”
“Sure,” Jason said, his gang coming up behind him. “What’s at 402 Maple Street?”
“I just…I have to go there to get some help,” he admitted. “Jensen’s in trouble, and there’s a little girl real sick.”
“It’s that way,” Jason said quickly, wasting no time in showing him where to go. “Is it Kane?” Jared nodded, not hanging around long enough to ask Jason how he knew.
“Thanks, Jason!” He ran off, glancing back to see Jason and his gang running in the opposite direction, calling out for help from anyone who might still be in their homes.
****
Jensen ran as quickly as he could, following the trail of the obviously stolen car that he was sure Kane and Mackenzie were in. He didn’t think about anything other than catching up with them and getting her back. He cursed when he lost sight of the car, moving instinctually, going where he thought Kane had gone. When he finally caught sight of the car again, it was parked by an abandoned shipyard, close to an old, rotting oil tanker. He caught his breath before sneaking onto it, constantly looking around for Kane or his thugs, feeling absolutely paranoid. Once inside, he noticed that most of the oil tanker was hollow, the back end of it missing completely, a small platform left over the open water, a sizeable cage hung over it, dangling, Mackenzie asleep inside. He looked around again, and noticed that the only way into the cage was to jump into it from the top. He grabbed onto it, climbing as carefully as he could, the cage swinging precariously from its chain. Once he reached the top, he jumped in, the metal rattling, and immediately bent to gather Mackenzie up in his arms. She squirmed and whimpered in her fevered sleep, her skin feeling hotter than it ever had.
“It’s okay, Squeaker,” he soothed, lifting her up. “You’re gonna be okay. I’m gonna take you back to the wallet family.”
“Aww,” Kane’s voice suddenly filled the silence inside the ship, and Jensen jolted, looking out of the cage to see the entire gang on the small wooden platform, Kane grinning evilly. “Isn’t this just the sweetest thing?”
****
Chad stumbled out of bed and down the stairs, startled awake by an incessant pounding on the front door. He rubbed his eyes, trying to wake himself up further, and wondered who the hell would be coming to the house at this hour. He froze when he finally unlocked the door and pulled it open, a full gang crowding his front lawn and one of the men from the racetrack standing directly outside the door, severely beaten and holding Mackenzie’s old bunny doll in his hand.
“Sweetie, what’s…” Sandy gasped in shock, coming up behind him. She pushed past him suddenly, and he could see her staring at Mackenzie’s doll. She looked back up at the man in front of her. “Is she in trouble?” The man nodded. “Where’s your friend?” she asked. The man stared back at her with more fear and concern than Chad had ever seen.
“He’s in trouble, too.”
****
Steve watched helplessly as Jensen set Mackenzie down and climbed back up out of the cage, fists raised, as if he even had a chance against Kane’s entire gang. He didn’t participate in the fight. He couldn’t. He watched Jensen take almost as many hits as Jared had and flinched with each one, wishing he could stop the whole thing. Jensen lost the fight, as expected, but he’d tried his hardest, putting his whole heart and soul into it. But a win for Jensen just wasn’t possible, and he was carried away by Kane’s thugs soon enough, Kane directing them over to the misplaced anchor in the nearly demolished ship.
“You’re gonna die this time, Jensen,” Kane growled. “I’m gonna make sure of that.” He turned to Steve, tossing him a bundle of rope. “Don’t just stand there,” he spat, pointing to Jensen and the anchor, “Tie him to it! We’re dropping him in.” Steve caught the rope and held it, staring at Kane in fear and disbelief. “DO IT!” Kane shouted, and Steve flinched, carrying the rope over to where Jensen was still being held by the others. He looked at the man he was about to help kill for the fourth time and saw the pain and fear in his eyes, having to look away almost immediately, his heart clenching.
“Alright, boys,” Steve said, nodding towards the others, “Hold him in place for me.” They did as they were told, holding Jensen up against the anchor, and Steve tried to ignore the pleading look Jensen gave him, but already knew that he couldn’t. He looped the rope around Jensen’s body and the anchor, the watch that he assumed was the same one Kane gave him trapped between the rope and Jensen’s chest. He crouched down behind the anchor, getting ready to tie the rope off, and glanced up at the others. “Alright, I got it guys, thanks.” They moved away, and Steve tied a specialty knot right by Jensen’s hands, leaning close to the back of Jensen’s head and speaking so low, he wasn’t even sure if Jensen could hear him. “You pull this,” he said, resting a bit of rope in Jensen’s palm, “And it’ll loosen enough for you to get out.” Jensen’s hand squeezed around it in response, and Steve stood, rejoining Kane and the rest of the gang, still feeling queasy, but hoping like hell that Jensen could save himself.
“It’s been fun, Jensen,” Kane said, stepping back and staring for a moment, letting Jensen wallow in the misery of his supposed death. “But this is the end of the line for you. I wouldn’t worry about it. Maybe you’ll get to go to Heaven.” He nodded towards one of his men, who walked quickly over to the anchor’s control, letting it go. “Goodbye.” The anchor broke through the part of the platform it had been resting on and plunged into the water, taking Jensen with it.
****
Jensen took a deep breath, holding it as he was submerged in the water, the force and shock of it almost enough to make him lose it. He began to panic and struggle when he realized that holding his breath didn’t matter. His watch was getting waterlogged, and he felt pain spike through his body. Frantic, he lost the bit of rope Steve had handed him before finding it again, pulling it as hard as he could in his position. It loosened, and he fought to push it away, his lungs burning and muscles spasming painfully. Finally free, he flailed and swam to the surface, feeling as though he’d barely made it when he got there, quickly lifting his watch above the water and opening it, letting the water pour out of it. He gasped for air, almost going under again, and struggled to reach a solid part of the ship he could hold onto. He was only vaguely aware of Kane screaming above him, slowly pulling himself together, hearing the tick of the watch where he held it close to his ear. He looked up again when he heard a commotion above him and saw Jason and his gang invading the ship, fighting against Kane and his thugs.
“Better start climbing,” he said to himself, closing his watch and finding whatever footholds he could as he grabbed the nearest bit of ship above him to haul himself up on. He pushed past the pain from his injuries, climbing as quickly as he could, hearing the fight rage on above him. He stood as quickly as he could once he reached the platform, his eyes searching out Kane. He didn’t have to look long, the man gunning straight for him.
“You just won’t die!” Kane shouted, throwing a punch that Jensen quickly dodged. He threw one of his own, and just like that, the ultimate fight that he thought would last forever was suddenly over. With all the action on the platform, someone had managed to spark some oil left on the ship just as Jensen hit Kane. He’d unknowingly sent Kane straight into the blast, stepping away from the roaring fire spreading through the tanker and watching in shock as Kane’s burning body fell into the water, failing to resurface. But the blast did more than kill Kane. It rattled the entire ship, the cage swinging so violently it nearly turned fully over, Mackenzie falling out of it without a sound, her limp body hitting the water.
“MACKENZIE!” Jensen shouted, watching in horror as she began to sink, unconscious. He immediately took his watch off, leaving it up on the platform, not even paying attention to the fire or the rest of the fight going on, Jason’s gang beating the shit out of Kane’s and escaping. He dove into the water, reaching out for her as soon as he could, grabbing her and bringing her back up to the surface. “Come on, kid.”
He looked up just in time to see his watch hurtling down into the water, sinking quickly below the surface. He felt the shock of pain almost immediately, struggling to hold himself and Mackenzie above the water. It seemed like second nature to drop everything and swim down after the watch, his senses only catching up with him when he realized he’d left Mackenzie to drown. He turned underwater, seeing her already falling in beside him, and he didn’t spare the watch a second glance; didn’t listen to his body screaming for him to save himself. He grabbed Mackenzie and worked to swim up to the surface, pulling her up with him and looking around for anything that would help her. His eyes settled on a large piece of debris floating nearby, and he struggled to lift her up onto it, using the last of his strength to give her a good push towards the opened back of the ship, where she could escape the fire and float to safety.
“You can make it!” he called after her, fighting for breath. “You can make it, kid!”
He cried out in pain, convulsing and nearly falling beneath the surface again. He turned and moved back towards where he thought he’d remembered the watch going under. He drew the last of his breath into his lungs and dove under, knowing that he would never get to the watch in time, but trying anyway. He’d always thought that when he went down, he would go down fighting. He swam down, further and further, feeling as though his lungs were part of the inferno on the ship, his muscles beginning to seize, heart beginning to slow. He felt himself passing on, wondering what his afterlife would be, now that Heaven was lost to him.
****
Steve escaped with Jason’s gang, trying his best to explain what he’d done, how he’d tried to help. He ran with them, the stragglers from Kane’s gang joining them as well, heading away from the burning oil tanker and into the crowd gathering on the shore. He saw just about every damn person in the neighborhood there, all of them watching and waiting for Jensen. He didn’t know where Jensen or Mackenzie were, or if they’d even survived the blast. He got his answer when he caught sight of Mackenzie out in the middle of the water, floating on a large piece of wood. He swam out to get her, hearing Jason splash in behind him, and they brought her back to shore, both of them sharing knowing glances. Jensen didn’t make it.
****
Sandy followed Jared and the crowd of people into their neighborhood, not bothering with the fear that something might happen to her or Chad, her husband walking right by her side. She followed them to the shore by the old shipyard, gasping in shock at the sight of the fire, Mackenzie being led to shore on a plank of wood by two strange men. Jared raced to the shore to meet them, one of them carrying Mackenzie over to her and Chad, and the other pulling Jared aside and talking to him. Chad took Mackenzie in his arms, holding her gently, and Sandy watched as Jared fell to his knees on the shore, sobbing violently.
“Jensen didn’t make it?” she asked the blonde man in front of her, hoping she’d gotten the name right. The man shook his head sadly, guilt lining his features.
“No,” he said, lowering his head. “He saved the girl, but…”
Sandy watched Jared breaking down on the shore, her heart going out to the man. She turned to Chad, biting at her bottom lip. He looked back at her and nodded, knowing what she was asking before she even spoke, and she gave him a small smile, turning away and walking over to Jared.
****
Jared ran to the shore as soon as he saw Steve and Jason guiding Mackenzie up onto the sand, his heart racing as he smelled the smoke in the air. He saw them look at each other as they got closer; saw Jason nod at Steve, who lifted Mackenzie and carried her back to Sandy and Chad.
“Jason?” he asked, the other man hauling himself out of the water and standing in front of him, his expression solemn. “What’s going on? Where’s Jensen?”
“Jared…” Jason started, pausing before speaking again, low and apologetic, “Jensen didn’t make it. We tried to save him. We did. But…we lost him. I’m sorry.”
He hadn’t even realized he was falling until his knees hit the sand, jarring his injuries, his chest heaving with violent sobs. Jensen was gone again, and with so many people fighting for him and so many witnesses, he wasn’t coming back. Jensen was dead, and Jared lost control, crying his heart out on the shore. He was alone.
He was vaguely aware of Jason stepping away, leaving him to grieve, but didn’t expect the feel of a soft, feminine hand on his shoulder. He flinched and looked up, surprised to see Sandy smiling down at him sadly.
“I’m sorry about Jensen,” she offered, and Jared merely nodded, looking away again, expecting her to leave. But she didn’t. Instead, she did the complete opposite. “Why don’t you come with us?” Jared looked up at her again, wondering if he’d heard her right, and she squeezed his shoulder lightly. “We can take care of you.”
He turned and looked out at the water, at the burning oil tanker. Jensen was gone, Jensen’s Place was gone, and Jared’s garage was worthless. There was nothing left for him here. He could stay and slowly waste away, almost wanting to, now that Jensen was gone. Or, he could go with Chad and Sandy, staying with Mackenzie, like Jensen would’ve wanted him to. He stood without a word, turning to Sandy and nodding. She smiled and gripped his arm gently, leading him back to Chad and Mackenzie.
That night, he was inside of a hospital for the first time in his life, shrinking away from the doctors and bright lights until he calmed down enough for them to help him. His injuries were taken care of, the pain they caused subsiding significantly. He watched as they took care of Mackenzie, checking her over and prescribing her medication. He was completely fresh and clean for the first time in what felt like forever, and probably was. He was given soft, clean clothes, the new ones he’d bought with Jensen when they took Mackenzie shopping already dirty and ragged again. He was given his own room in a clean, spacious house that wasn’t falling apart at the seams, and climbed into a bed with a soft, comfortable mattress and more pillows, sheets, and blankets than he could count. He’d been offered food, but couldn’t bring himself to eat it. He was exhausted in every possible way, allowing himself the relief of sleep. He didn’t dream, and he only woke up when Mackenzie got up in the middle of the night, holding the bunny doll that Chad and Sandy had kept at the house for her, and crawled into bed beside him, curling up close. He draped an arm over her and went back to sleep, understanding her fear of being alone.
****
Jensen wasn’t alive, but he hadn’t been taken away to wherever he was going yet, either. He guessed he was in limbo, and he found his way back to 402 Maple Street, slipping inside effortlessly and finding Jared and Mackenzie safe and asleep in the same bed, each one a comfort to the other. He smiled a little at the sight, glad that they were okay. But his smile quickly faded, tears filling his eyes. He wasn’t sure how it was possible for him to cry, but it was, his cheeks wet from it. He made his way over to the bed and sat down on the end of it, watching the two of them sleep. All he could think about was what he’d done wrong, and how he’d let them down, remembering Jared limping into Danneel’s house and the look on Mackenzie’s face after he’d said he didn’t care about her.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, unsure of whether or not they could hear him. “I’m so very sorry.”
Deep red light suddenly shone through the open window, and Jensen closed his eyes, fear gripping him. He didn’t turn towards it, but opened his eyes again and wiped away his tears, watching Jared and Mackenzie for as long as he possibly could before the demons came for him. He heard a low growl, picturing the dragon-like figure from his nightmare, his ears perking up when the growl turned into something of a pained groan, the red light fading.
“Jensen…” Jensen turned to the window, that voice all too familiar, a soft blue orb floating just outside the ledge, pulsing with each word spoken. “You can come home now, Jensen.”
“Misha?” he asked, hearing the word “home” spoken in that deep, soothing voice and wanting to believe so badly that he could go back to Heaven. “But you said…”
“Jensen,” Misha chided gently, “You gave your life for her. Come home.” Those last two words washed over him like a gentle wave, like a prayer. He relished the feel of them, his spirit soaring with the thought that Heaven wasn’t lost to him, after all. He could have it. He could have calm and peace. He could rest. He glanced back at Jared and Mackenzie, faltering for just a second.
“What about them?” he asked. He didn’t want to seem conceited enough to suggest that he’d been the most important person in their lives, but…he had been. Somehow, he had been, and he still worried about them, even now.
“Say goodbye, Jensen,” Misha answered. The light faded a bit, the room mostly lit by the moon, and Mackenzie suddenly stirred in her sleep. She opened her eyes and yawned, blinking him into focus.
“Jensen?” she asked tiredly, and Jensen realized that, in her sick and fragile state, she probably hadn’t even fully comprehended that he was dead.
“Yeah,” he said, smiling at her. “Yeah, it’s me. How are you feeling, kid?”
“I’m okay,” she said, staring up at him with slightly feverish eyes. “How are you?”
“Well, I, uh…” Jensen cleared his throat, keeping his emotions in check, “I came to say goodbye.” He wasn’t sure if it was the fever or something else, but she didn’t protest the way she had the last time he’d said that, oddly accepting, as if, on some level, she knew that he had to leave her.
“Where are you going?” she asked, shifting on the bed and hugging her bunny doll close.
“Just on a little trip,” Jensen said, keeping her at ease and smiling again.
“Will I ever see you again?”
“Sure, sure.” He reached out and brushed a strand of hair away from her eyes. If anybody he knew deserved Heaven, it was her. “You know, goodbyes aren’t forever.” He could see her thinking, and she looked up at him when she made her decision, nodding before she spoke.
“Then…goodbye, Jensen.” She carefully slipped out from under Jared’s arm and wrapped her arms around Jensen’s neck, hugging him. “I’ll miss you.”
“Yeah,” he said, hugging her back and blinking back tears. “Yeah, I’ll miss you, too. Listen, I want you to do me a favor.” She pulled away and looked at him expectantly, and he laid her back down. “I want you to take care of Jared for me, okay? You have a family now, and…he doesn’t have anybody.”
“I will,” she promised, and Jensen turned to look down at Jared, running his fingers through Jared’s long hair. He wanted to say goodbye, but didn’t want to wake him; not for this. Jared had had enough tears and pain for a lifetime, let alone one night.
“Goodbye, Jared,” he said softly, brushing at Jared’s bangs. Jared shifted beneath his touch, relaxing more in his sleep, and Jensen was glad that he was still able to bring him some comfort. “I love you.” He leaned down, lightly brushing his lips against Jared’s. “We’ll be together again.” He felt Jared sigh then, and looked to see all signs of worry and anguish gone from Jared’s features. He turned back to Mackenzie and smiled again. “Goodbye, Squeaker.” He stood up, heading towards the window.
“Jensen?” He glanced back over his shoulder when Mackenzie called for him, her eyes already drooping again. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” He watched her eyes fall closed, watched her breathing even out, and then felt warmth around him, blue light shining through the window, Misha’s voice washing over him again.
“Come home.”
He let go, his worries and fears vanishing, and turned into the light, heading down a familiar tunnel. He landed softly, on clouds just inside golden gates, and Misha greeted him with a smile. He was home.
Epilogue
Fandom: RPS
Characters: Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki
Prompt: 022. Enemies
fanfic100 table: here
Word Count: 29,073
Rating: NC-17 to start, but mostly R.
Warnings: Violence, angst, character death, and the one hardcore smex scene that I just had to throw in at the beginning.
Summary: The best way for me to summarize this is to just say that it's a J2 version of All Dogs Go To Heaven, but with humans instead of dogs, gay sex, less singing, some cursing, and just a tad more violence, considering the movie is pretty damn dark for an animated kids' movie.
Disclaimer: This is a shameless ripoff of an animated kids' movie made in 1989 with a squeeing fangirl's perfect cast. In other words, I am a loser. :P
Author's Notes: This idea randomly came to me one night, so I took it and ran with it. It made me ridiculously happy, even though it's sad (like the movie), and this is the end result. I don't usually write AU's, or anything like this, but I had so much fun with this Jensen, it was ridiculous. As if I didn't love the man enough already.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Jared stood behind the bar counter, polishing the wood. He hadn’t stopped thinking about Jensen since he’d left, and his worry was turning to fear the longer Jensen was gone. He looked around the place, finding it empty, none of the paid crew hanging around in the main room like they usually did after closing.
“Hey!” he called out, stopping for a moment and stepping out from behind the bar. “Can I get some help in here? This place doesn’t clean itself, you know!” He huffed a sigh when no one answered him, and turned back to the bar, gasping in pain when he was suddenly shoved forward into the hard wood, the air knocked out of him as he fell to the floor. Hands gripped him from behind and turned him around, slamming him back down on the floor. He grunted, trying to catch his breath, his heart hammering in his chest, and looked up to see Kane looming over him. “Oh, God,” he choked out, turning his head to see the main room suddenly looking crowded again, this time with Kane’s gang.
“Where’s Jensen?” Kane demanded, his hand slipping around Jared’s throat. Jared’s eyes widened, his chest heaving and skin crawling with a deep itch.
“I don’t know,” he said honestly, voice shaky.
“Really?” Kane challenged, his grip tightening. Jared choked, and Kane laughed darkly. “Are you sure about that?”
“Ye…Yes,” Jared choked out, gasping for air. Kane let up, removing his hand, and Jared breathed in deeply, shaking his head. “I don’t know where he is, I swear! Please, just…don’t…”
“To Jensen,” Kane said, grinning and pulling his fist back, “With love.”
****
Jensen carried Mackenzie all the way to Danneel’s house, cradling her in his arms and shushing her when she stirred. She needed rest, he knew that much. She turned her body into his, curling up in his arms, against his chest, and he could feel the warmth of her skin through his shirt. He walked with Jason ahead of him, the rest of the gang surrounding him, attempting to conceal him and Mackenzie from anyone who might be watching. He breathed a sigh of relief when they finally came to Danneel’s front door, Jason turning and offering him a smile.
“I think this is your stop,” he said, patting Jensen on the back.
“Thank you,” Jensen said, turning to face the others, “All of you.”
“Just get her inside,” Jason said, already turning away to head back home. “And let us know if we can help you again.”
“I will,” Jensen promised, opening up Danneel’s door and carrying Mackenzie up the stairs, beginning to feel the strain of his journey.
“Jensen!” Danneel called, catching sight of him from the top of the stairs and rushing down to meet him halfway, taking Mackenzie into her own arms. “Oh my God…what happened?”
“She’s sick,” Jensen explained, dragging himself up the rest of the stairs. “She needs to rest.” She led him past the boys’ rooms, where they were already asleep in their beds, and laid Mackenzie down in the room she’d left Jensen in before, covering her with blankets.
“Where are you coming from?” she asked, tucking the girl in and feeling her head.
“Far,” Jensen answered, sagging against the doorway. “I had to track her to the, uh…‘wallet family’s’ house. Then Kane showed up, and I had to bring her back here.”
“Jensen, she’s really burning up,” Danneel said, worriedly placing a hand on Mackenzie’s forehead again. “She might need a doctor.”
“Shit,” Jensen cursed, holding his head in his hands. “I don’t even know any doctors.”
“It’s okay,” Danneel said, walking over to him and rubbing his arm gently. “We’ll find one. But I’ll just keep an eye on her for now, okay? You should at least sit down for a while.”
“Yeah,” Jensen said, walking in and taking a seat on the end of Mackenzie’s bed. “Yeah, I guess I should.”
****
Jared groaned in pain, but continued on, limping away from the burning building behind him. He could feel blood trickling down the side of his face, could taste it in the split in his lip, and he cradled his likely broken arm against his chest. He’d tried to catalogue his injuries, but lost count. It didn’t matter, anyway. Everything hurt. He was surprised he could even still stand, but knew he had to do a lot more than that if he was going to survive. He had to get to Jensen, and the only place he could think to go to try and find him was Danneel’s. He fought through pain, blood, and tears to get there, pausing every so often to sit and catch his breath. When he finally got to Danneel’s front door, he wasted no time in opening it and calling for Jensen, painfully limping up the stairs.
“Jensen!” he yelled, hearing his voice echo throughout the building. “Jensen!”
“Hey! Quiet!” He heard Jensen hiss, footsteps hurrying towards the stairs. “Squeaker’s sick, and she needs her sleep.”
“Oh,” Jared laughed without humor, finally catching sight of Jensen at the top of the stairs, “You’re breakin’ my heart.”
“Oh my God!” Jensen rushed down the stairs, gently wrapping an arm around him and helping him up the stairs. “What happened to you?”
“I’ll tell you what happened to me,” Jared said, sighing with relief when they finally reached the living room. “Kane happened to me…with about fifty of his thugs.”
“Jared, I’m so sorry,” Jensen said, genuinely apologetic, his sorrow and guilt quickly turning to seething anger. “That motherfucker…I’ll kill him!”
“Yeah, well,” Jared limped through the opened door of Mackenzie’s room, leading Jensen to the window and pointing at the plume of smoke on the horizon, “That’s not all. You see that? That’s our place!”
“What?” Jensen asked, staring out at the smoke in shock.
“See, Jensen, you wanted to fix Kane, but he fixed us,” Jared said, keeping his voice low and limping back out to the living room, Jensen following slowly behind him. “All of this just went too far.” He could feel his emotions building up, bursting forth in a rush of words, and he turned to Jensen. “You said you wanted revenge, and I told you we shouldn’t do it. I just wanted to get the hell outta here. But I stayed, because I love you. Then you wanted to kidnap the girl, and I thought you were nuts, but I did it, and I helped, because I love you. Then you told me we had to do what the girl wanted, and keep her happy, and I thought, ‘This is stupid! She’s gonna get us killed!’ But I stayed, and I did it, because I love you. But, tonight…” He paused, unable to keep himself from crying, tears mixing with the blood on his face, “Tonight, Jensen, he tried to kill me, and you were out with this…this girl.” He stopped for a moment, wiping at his eyes, and saw Jensen doing the same. “Look, I say we do what I asked you from the beginning, and we just leave. We get out of town together and call it even.” Jensen looked at him mournfully, eyes full of tears, and glanced back at Mackenzie’s room.
“Jared, I can’t,” he choked out, voice barely audible. “I can’t. Not yet. I have to…”
“You have to what?” Jared blurted out, cutting him off. He was hurt and panicked, wanting nothing more than for both of them to finally be safe. “ Jensen, you have to fucking stay alive! You’re fucking crazy to stay here any longer than you already have.” He shook his head, not waiting for Jensen’s excuses. “And it’s not just business anymore, it’s personal. You love the girl, you care about the girl, and probably more than you do me, now.”
“How can you say that?” Jensen rasped, staring at him in disbelief. “How can you even think that? I love you Jared! I always have!” Jared saw the hurt in his eyes and immediately regretted his words. Now he was taking things too far. Jensen was doing the right thing by the kid, and he’d always loved and protected Jared. He couldn’t pretend that wasn’t true now.
“You’re right,” he admitted, lowering his head in shame. “You’re right, Jensen, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m just hurt, and scared, and…”
“What do you want me to say, Jared?” Jensen’s voice rose, and Jared looked up at him, seeing Jensen more frustrated than he ever had. Jensen was snapping, reaching his breaking point. He was at his wit’s end, for the first time in his life, the anger in his eyes showing that he knew that, too. “You want me to tell you that I don’t care about her?” he asked, nearly shouting now. “You want me to say I was just pretending and using her all this time? Fine! I’ll say it! I don’t care about the girl! I’m using the girl! And when we’re done with her, we’ll dump her in an orphanage! Is that okay with you?!”
“No, Jensen, I…” Jared started, attempting to calm him, but he trailed off, his eyes suddenly catching movement behind Jensen. His jaw dropped when he saw that it was Mackenzie, woken from her slumber and staring at the back of Jensen’s head in shock, tears rolling down her cheeks. Jensen’s face fell, as if he could tell just from the look Jared gave him that the girl was behind him, and that she’d heard the horrible things he’d said. He turned to her just as she bolted down the stairs.
“No, please, Squeaker, wait!” Jensen called after her, his breath visibly catching in his throat when they heard her scream seconds later. “NO!”
Jensen tore down the stairs before Jared could reach him, but Jared hobbled after him anyway, making his way down the stairs and nearly tripping on Mackenzie’s bunny doll, staring up at him from where it had been dropped on the last step. Jared suddenly hated himself for coming here and causing so much trouble. Kane was behind this. That much was obvious. He’d taken her again, and Jensen was chasing after them, trying to save her. The bastard had probably followed Jared here. Danneel was suddenly behind him, picking the doll up and shoving it at him, the three boys asking what was happening from the top of the stairs.
“You should take this to 402 Maple Street,” she said, and Jared nodded, repeating the address in his head. “They’ll know what to do with it. And hurry!”
Jared forced himself to run, despite his injuries. He needed to get some help, and fast. Jensen and Mackenzie were counting on him. He ran through the neighborhood, his entire body protesting, pausing every so often to ask for directions and make sure he was going the right way. Before he knew it, he had his own little crowd following him, rallying around him once he told them Jensen was in trouble. The last time he made a stop, he ran into Jason, almost expecting trouble from him after hearing about his rivalry with Jensen.
“Hey,” he panted, taking the chance anyway, “Can you point me towards 402 Maple Street?”
“Sure,” Jason said, his gang coming up behind him. “What’s at 402 Maple Street?”
“I just…I have to go there to get some help,” he admitted. “Jensen’s in trouble, and there’s a little girl real sick.”
“It’s that way,” Jason said quickly, wasting no time in showing him where to go. “Is it Kane?” Jared nodded, not hanging around long enough to ask Jason how he knew.
“Thanks, Jason!” He ran off, glancing back to see Jason and his gang running in the opposite direction, calling out for help from anyone who might still be in their homes.
****
Jensen ran as quickly as he could, following the trail of the obviously stolen car that he was sure Kane and Mackenzie were in. He didn’t think about anything other than catching up with them and getting her back. He cursed when he lost sight of the car, moving instinctually, going where he thought Kane had gone. When he finally caught sight of the car again, it was parked by an abandoned shipyard, close to an old, rotting oil tanker. He caught his breath before sneaking onto it, constantly looking around for Kane or his thugs, feeling absolutely paranoid. Once inside, he noticed that most of the oil tanker was hollow, the back end of it missing completely, a small platform left over the open water, a sizeable cage hung over it, dangling, Mackenzie asleep inside. He looked around again, and noticed that the only way into the cage was to jump into it from the top. He grabbed onto it, climbing as carefully as he could, the cage swinging precariously from its chain. Once he reached the top, he jumped in, the metal rattling, and immediately bent to gather Mackenzie up in his arms. She squirmed and whimpered in her fevered sleep, her skin feeling hotter than it ever had.
“It’s okay, Squeaker,” he soothed, lifting her up. “You’re gonna be okay. I’m gonna take you back to the wallet family.”
“Aww,” Kane’s voice suddenly filled the silence inside the ship, and Jensen jolted, looking out of the cage to see the entire gang on the small wooden platform, Kane grinning evilly. “Isn’t this just the sweetest thing?”
****
Chad stumbled out of bed and down the stairs, startled awake by an incessant pounding on the front door. He rubbed his eyes, trying to wake himself up further, and wondered who the hell would be coming to the house at this hour. He froze when he finally unlocked the door and pulled it open, a full gang crowding his front lawn and one of the men from the racetrack standing directly outside the door, severely beaten and holding Mackenzie’s old bunny doll in his hand.
“Sweetie, what’s…” Sandy gasped in shock, coming up behind him. She pushed past him suddenly, and he could see her staring at Mackenzie’s doll. She looked back up at the man in front of her. “Is she in trouble?” The man nodded. “Where’s your friend?” she asked. The man stared back at her with more fear and concern than Chad had ever seen.
“He’s in trouble, too.”
****
Steve watched helplessly as Jensen set Mackenzie down and climbed back up out of the cage, fists raised, as if he even had a chance against Kane’s entire gang. He didn’t participate in the fight. He couldn’t. He watched Jensen take almost as many hits as Jared had and flinched with each one, wishing he could stop the whole thing. Jensen lost the fight, as expected, but he’d tried his hardest, putting his whole heart and soul into it. But a win for Jensen just wasn’t possible, and he was carried away by Kane’s thugs soon enough, Kane directing them over to the misplaced anchor in the nearly demolished ship.
“You’re gonna die this time, Jensen,” Kane growled. “I’m gonna make sure of that.” He turned to Steve, tossing him a bundle of rope. “Don’t just stand there,” he spat, pointing to Jensen and the anchor, “Tie him to it! We’re dropping him in.” Steve caught the rope and held it, staring at Kane in fear and disbelief. “DO IT!” Kane shouted, and Steve flinched, carrying the rope over to where Jensen was still being held by the others. He looked at the man he was about to help kill for the fourth time and saw the pain and fear in his eyes, having to look away almost immediately, his heart clenching.
“Alright, boys,” Steve said, nodding towards the others, “Hold him in place for me.” They did as they were told, holding Jensen up against the anchor, and Steve tried to ignore the pleading look Jensen gave him, but already knew that he couldn’t. He looped the rope around Jensen’s body and the anchor, the watch that he assumed was the same one Kane gave him trapped between the rope and Jensen’s chest. He crouched down behind the anchor, getting ready to tie the rope off, and glanced up at the others. “Alright, I got it guys, thanks.” They moved away, and Steve tied a specialty knot right by Jensen’s hands, leaning close to the back of Jensen’s head and speaking so low, he wasn’t even sure if Jensen could hear him. “You pull this,” he said, resting a bit of rope in Jensen’s palm, “And it’ll loosen enough for you to get out.” Jensen’s hand squeezed around it in response, and Steve stood, rejoining Kane and the rest of the gang, still feeling queasy, but hoping like hell that Jensen could save himself.
“It’s been fun, Jensen,” Kane said, stepping back and staring for a moment, letting Jensen wallow in the misery of his supposed death. “But this is the end of the line for you. I wouldn’t worry about it. Maybe you’ll get to go to Heaven.” He nodded towards one of his men, who walked quickly over to the anchor’s control, letting it go. “Goodbye.” The anchor broke through the part of the platform it had been resting on and plunged into the water, taking Jensen with it.
****
Jensen took a deep breath, holding it as he was submerged in the water, the force and shock of it almost enough to make him lose it. He began to panic and struggle when he realized that holding his breath didn’t matter. His watch was getting waterlogged, and he felt pain spike through his body. Frantic, he lost the bit of rope Steve had handed him before finding it again, pulling it as hard as he could in his position. It loosened, and he fought to push it away, his lungs burning and muscles spasming painfully. Finally free, he flailed and swam to the surface, feeling as though he’d barely made it when he got there, quickly lifting his watch above the water and opening it, letting the water pour out of it. He gasped for air, almost going under again, and struggled to reach a solid part of the ship he could hold onto. He was only vaguely aware of Kane screaming above him, slowly pulling himself together, hearing the tick of the watch where he held it close to his ear. He looked up again when he heard a commotion above him and saw Jason and his gang invading the ship, fighting against Kane and his thugs.
“Better start climbing,” he said to himself, closing his watch and finding whatever footholds he could as he grabbed the nearest bit of ship above him to haul himself up on. He pushed past the pain from his injuries, climbing as quickly as he could, hearing the fight rage on above him. He stood as quickly as he could once he reached the platform, his eyes searching out Kane. He didn’t have to look long, the man gunning straight for him.
“You just won’t die!” Kane shouted, throwing a punch that Jensen quickly dodged. He threw one of his own, and just like that, the ultimate fight that he thought would last forever was suddenly over. With all the action on the platform, someone had managed to spark some oil left on the ship just as Jensen hit Kane. He’d unknowingly sent Kane straight into the blast, stepping away from the roaring fire spreading through the tanker and watching in shock as Kane’s burning body fell into the water, failing to resurface. But the blast did more than kill Kane. It rattled the entire ship, the cage swinging so violently it nearly turned fully over, Mackenzie falling out of it without a sound, her limp body hitting the water.
“MACKENZIE!” Jensen shouted, watching in horror as she began to sink, unconscious. He immediately took his watch off, leaving it up on the platform, not even paying attention to the fire or the rest of the fight going on, Jason’s gang beating the shit out of Kane’s and escaping. He dove into the water, reaching out for her as soon as he could, grabbing her and bringing her back up to the surface. “Come on, kid.”
He looked up just in time to see his watch hurtling down into the water, sinking quickly below the surface. He felt the shock of pain almost immediately, struggling to hold himself and Mackenzie above the water. It seemed like second nature to drop everything and swim down after the watch, his senses only catching up with him when he realized he’d left Mackenzie to drown. He turned underwater, seeing her already falling in beside him, and he didn’t spare the watch a second glance; didn’t listen to his body screaming for him to save himself. He grabbed Mackenzie and worked to swim up to the surface, pulling her up with him and looking around for anything that would help her. His eyes settled on a large piece of debris floating nearby, and he struggled to lift her up onto it, using the last of his strength to give her a good push towards the opened back of the ship, where she could escape the fire and float to safety.
“You can make it!” he called after her, fighting for breath. “You can make it, kid!”
He cried out in pain, convulsing and nearly falling beneath the surface again. He turned and moved back towards where he thought he’d remembered the watch going under. He drew the last of his breath into his lungs and dove under, knowing that he would never get to the watch in time, but trying anyway. He’d always thought that when he went down, he would go down fighting. He swam down, further and further, feeling as though his lungs were part of the inferno on the ship, his muscles beginning to seize, heart beginning to slow. He felt himself passing on, wondering what his afterlife would be, now that Heaven was lost to him.
****
Steve escaped with Jason’s gang, trying his best to explain what he’d done, how he’d tried to help. He ran with them, the stragglers from Kane’s gang joining them as well, heading away from the burning oil tanker and into the crowd gathering on the shore. He saw just about every damn person in the neighborhood there, all of them watching and waiting for Jensen. He didn’t know where Jensen or Mackenzie were, or if they’d even survived the blast. He got his answer when he caught sight of Mackenzie out in the middle of the water, floating on a large piece of wood. He swam out to get her, hearing Jason splash in behind him, and they brought her back to shore, both of them sharing knowing glances. Jensen didn’t make it.
****
Sandy followed Jared and the crowd of people into their neighborhood, not bothering with the fear that something might happen to her or Chad, her husband walking right by her side. She followed them to the shore by the old shipyard, gasping in shock at the sight of the fire, Mackenzie being led to shore on a plank of wood by two strange men. Jared raced to the shore to meet them, one of them carrying Mackenzie over to her and Chad, and the other pulling Jared aside and talking to him. Chad took Mackenzie in his arms, holding her gently, and Sandy watched as Jared fell to his knees on the shore, sobbing violently.
“Jensen didn’t make it?” she asked the blonde man in front of her, hoping she’d gotten the name right. The man shook his head sadly, guilt lining his features.
“No,” he said, lowering his head. “He saved the girl, but…”
Sandy watched Jared breaking down on the shore, her heart going out to the man. She turned to Chad, biting at her bottom lip. He looked back at her and nodded, knowing what she was asking before she even spoke, and she gave him a small smile, turning away and walking over to Jared.
****
Jared ran to the shore as soon as he saw Steve and Jason guiding Mackenzie up onto the sand, his heart racing as he smelled the smoke in the air. He saw them look at each other as they got closer; saw Jason nod at Steve, who lifted Mackenzie and carried her back to Sandy and Chad.
“Jason?” he asked, the other man hauling himself out of the water and standing in front of him, his expression solemn. “What’s going on? Where’s Jensen?”
“Jared…” Jason started, pausing before speaking again, low and apologetic, “Jensen didn’t make it. We tried to save him. We did. But…we lost him. I’m sorry.”
He hadn’t even realized he was falling until his knees hit the sand, jarring his injuries, his chest heaving with violent sobs. Jensen was gone again, and with so many people fighting for him and so many witnesses, he wasn’t coming back. Jensen was dead, and Jared lost control, crying his heart out on the shore. He was alone.
He was vaguely aware of Jason stepping away, leaving him to grieve, but didn’t expect the feel of a soft, feminine hand on his shoulder. He flinched and looked up, surprised to see Sandy smiling down at him sadly.
“I’m sorry about Jensen,” she offered, and Jared merely nodded, looking away again, expecting her to leave. But she didn’t. Instead, she did the complete opposite. “Why don’t you come with us?” Jared looked up at her again, wondering if he’d heard her right, and she squeezed his shoulder lightly. “We can take care of you.”
He turned and looked out at the water, at the burning oil tanker. Jensen was gone, Jensen’s Place was gone, and Jared’s garage was worthless. There was nothing left for him here. He could stay and slowly waste away, almost wanting to, now that Jensen was gone. Or, he could go with Chad and Sandy, staying with Mackenzie, like Jensen would’ve wanted him to. He stood without a word, turning to Sandy and nodding. She smiled and gripped his arm gently, leading him back to Chad and Mackenzie.
That night, he was inside of a hospital for the first time in his life, shrinking away from the doctors and bright lights until he calmed down enough for them to help him. His injuries were taken care of, the pain they caused subsiding significantly. He watched as they took care of Mackenzie, checking her over and prescribing her medication. He was completely fresh and clean for the first time in what felt like forever, and probably was. He was given soft, clean clothes, the new ones he’d bought with Jensen when they took Mackenzie shopping already dirty and ragged again. He was given his own room in a clean, spacious house that wasn’t falling apart at the seams, and climbed into a bed with a soft, comfortable mattress and more pillows, sheets, and blankets than he could count. He’d been offered food, but couldn’t bring himself to eat it. He was exhausted in every possible way, allowing himself the relief of sleep. He didn’t dream, and he only woke up when Mackenzie got up in the middle of the night, holding the bunny doll that Chad and Sandy had kept at the house for her, and crawled into bed beside him, curling up close. He draped an arm over her and went back to sleep, understanding her fear of being alone.
****
Jensen wasn’t alive, but he hadn’t been taken away to wherever he was going yet, either. He guessed he was in limbo, and he found his way back to 402 Maple Street, slipping inside effortlessly and finding Jared and Mackenzie safe and asleep in the same bed, each one a comfort to the other. He smiled a little at the sight, glad that they were okay. But his smile quickly faded, tears filling his eyes. He wasn’t sure how it was possible for him to cry, but it was, his cheeks wet from it. He made his way over to the bed and sat down on the end of it, watching the two of them sleep. All he could think about was what he’d done wrong, and how he’d let them down, remembering Jared limping into Danneel’s house and the look on Mackenzie’s face after he’d said he didn’t care about her.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, unsure of whether or not they could hear him. “I’m so very sorry.”
Deep red light suddenly shone through the open window, and Jensen closed his eyes, fear gripping him. He didn’t turn towards it, but opened his eyes again and wiped away his tears, watching Jared and Mackenzie for as long as he possibly could before the demons came for him. He heard a low growl, picturing the dragon-like figure from his nightmare, his ears perking up when the growl turned into something of a pained groan, the red light fading.
“Jensen…” Jensen turned to the window, that voice all too familiar, a soft blue orb floating just outside the ledge, pulsing with each word spoken. “You can come home now, Jensen.”
“Misha?” he asked, hearing the word “home” spoken in that deep, soothing voice and wanting to believe so badly that he could go back to Heaven. “But you said…”
“Jensen,” Misha chided gently, “You gave your life for her. Come home.” Those last two words washed over him like a gentle wave, like a prayer. He relished the feel of them, his spirit soaring with the thought that Heaven wasn’t lost to him, after all. He could have it. He could have calm and peace. He could rest. He glanced back at Jared and Mackenzie, faltering for just a second.
“What about them?” he asked. He didn’t want to seem conceited enough to suggest that he’d been the most important person in their lives, but…he had been. Somehow, he had been, and he still worried about them, even now.
“Say goodbye, Jensen,” Misha answered. The light faded a bit, the room mostly lit by the moon, and Mackenzie suddenly stirred in her sleep. She opened her eyes and yawned, blinking him into focus.
“Jensen?” she asked tiredly, and Jensen realized that, in her sick and fragile state, she probably hadn’t even fully comprehended that he was dead.
“Yeah,” he said, smiling at her. “Yeah, it’s me. How are you feeling, kid?”
“I’m okay,” she said, staring up at him with slightly feverish eyes. “How are you?”
“Well, I, uh…” Jensen cleared his throat, keeping his emotions in check, “I came to say goodbye.” He wasn’t sure if it was the fever or something else, but she didn’t protest the way she had the last time he’d said that, oddly accepting, as if, on some level, she knew that he had to leave her.
“Where are you going?” she asked, shifting on the bed and hugging her bunny doll close.
“Just on a little trip,” Jensen said, keeping her at ease and smiling again.
“Will I ever see you again?”
“Sure, sure.” He reached out and brushed a strand of hair away from her eyes. If anybody he knew deserved Heaven, it was her. “You know, goodbyes aren’t forever.” He could see her thinking, and she looked up at him when she made her decision, nodding before she spoke.
“Then…goodbye, Jensen.” She carefully slipped out from under Jared’s arm and wrapped her arms around Jensen’s neck, hugging him. “I’ll miss you.”
“Yeah,” he said, hugging her back and blinking back tears. “Yeah, I’ll miss you, too. Listen, I want you to do me a favor.” She pulled away and looked at him expectantly, and he laid her back down. “I want you to take care of Jared for me, okay? You have a family now, and…he doesn’t have anybody.”
“I will,” she promised, and Jensen turned to look down at Jared, running his fingers through Jared’s long hair. He wanted to say goodbye, but didn’t want to wake him; not for this. Jared had had enough tears and pain for a lifetime, let alone one night.
“Goodbye, Jared,” he said softly, brushing at Jared’s bangs. Jared shifted beneath his touch, relaxing more in his sleep, and Jensen was glad that he was still able to bring him some comfort. “I love you.” He leaned down, lightly brushing his lips against Jared’s. “We’ll be together again.” He felt Jared sigh then, and looked to see all signs of worry and anguish gone from Jared’s features. He turned back to Mackenzie and smiled again. “Goodbye, Squeaker.” He stood up, heading towards the window.
“Jensen?” He glanced back over his shoulder when Mackenzie called for him, her eyes already drooping again. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” He watched her eyes fall closed, watched her breathing even out, and then felt warmth around him, blue light shining through the window, Misha’s voice washing over him again.
“Come home.”
He let go, his worries and fears vanishing, and turned into the light, heading down a familiar tunnel. He landed softly, on clouds just inside golden gates, and Misha greeted him with a smile. He was home.
Epilogue