Public Apology.
To be honest, this is a case of 'too little, too late', and I know it. Some people may question why I make this apology at all. But it's something I've had in the back of my mind for awhile now, and some recent proddings at me really pushed me to say this.
Back when I took over as an admin at Fandom High, I messed up, a lot. I became heavily self-absorbed. I would frequently make missteps and refused to admit that I did so. I foolishly began to believe my own stupid rhetoric, and eventually I was asked to step down. At the time, I stupidly believed it was because I no longer aligned myself with the "in crowd". Now, I know it's because I simply was a bad admin.
I held a stupid, foolish grudge for a long time. And I went about destructing just about every friendship I had originally forged with some good people because of it. I did some horrendously bad things (betraying people's trust, inciting needless wank, acting holier-than-thou).
I used to think I was being treated unfairly. But I was viewing my own behavior through rose-tinted glasses. I was being treated much more fairly than I deserved. I was treated as a problem player because I was a problem player. The fact I wasn't kicked out, and they let me burn out due to my own behavior is a testament to their patience.
While I may still disagree with some fiddling little choices, that does not in any way excuse my behavior. I'm not asking for a second chance or forgiveness.
All I'm saying is I'm sorry. What I did was inexcusable. I'm sorry that I hurt you, attacked you, belittled you, betrayed your trust, and did things I shouldn't have. It took too long for me to realize my crimes, and I am sorry for that as well.
Back when I took over as an admin at Fandom High, I messed up, a lot. I became heavily self-absorbed. I would frequently make missteps and refused to admit that I did so. I foolishly began to believe my own stupid rhetoric, and eventually I was asked to step down. At the time, I stupidly believed it was because I no longer aligned myself with the "in crowd". Now, I know it's because I simply was a bad admin.
I held a stupid, foolish grudge for a long time. And I went about destructing just about every friendship I had originally forged with some good people because of it. I did some horrendously bad things (betraying people's trust, inciting needless wank, acting holier-than-thou).
I used to think I was being treated unfairly. But I was viewing my own behavior through rose-tinted glasses. I was being treated much more fairly than I deserved. I was treated as a problem player because I was a problem player. The fact I wasn't kicked out, and they let me burn out due to my own behavior is a testament to their patience.
While I may still disagree with some fiddling little choices, that does not in any way excuse my behavior. I'm not asking for a second chance or forgiveness.
All I'm saying is I'm sorry. What I did was inexcusable. I'm sorry that I hurt you, attacked you, belittled you, betrayed your trust, and did things I shouldn't have. It took too long for me to realize my crimes, and I am sorry for that as well.