Along the Way
Title: Along the Way
Author: timmii_luvs
Pairing: Henry/Leeteuk, Henry/Yesung Friendship, ninja!Yesung/Kibum, ninja!Heechul/Ryeowook
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: R (Just to be safe) [For suicide related issues and slight language]
Length: Oneshot
Author’s Note: Theme #95 Drowning of 100 Fic Challenge [Done: 3/100]
Summary: Somewhere along the way, Henry feels he’s lost his best friend
--
Somewhere along the way, Henry feels he lost his best friend to Kyuhyun. Because where he used to stand, his presence has been completely erased by the singer’s. Where his words used to bring a smile to his friends face, Kyuhyun had taken on that job. Even though it hurt, the violinist kept his mouth shut and smiled on. He stood further in the background where darkness shrouded his hurt feelings.
Somewhere along the way, Henry realized that he was being used as a replacement. He hung around Ryeowook a lot so it’s obvious that it would imply that the two of them were close. But that was a lie. As he stood next to the smaller, yet older boy, he knew that Ryeowook was using him as a replacement to fill the void in his heart until he could return to Heechul.
Somewhere along the way, Henry tried to push away the obvious. To not think about how Donghae would pretend he was Eunhyuk when they dance together. How the dancer would talk slower to avoid tripping and calling him a name that was not his. So the younger one would go along with it, play his little game and try to hold his heart together.
And before he even started along the way, there was always Siwon and Han Geng, together in a relationship before they even met Henry. So why should they care about his slowly shattering heart? Why should they worry? After all, he was just the foreign boy who everyone said force his way into the Super Junior family. Who was trying to rip the group apart.
So if somewhere along the way all this happened, why should any of them notice his slowly dulling eyes. On shows he was never one to put himself out there, so it went unnoticed how little he participated but when he did, when he danced or played his violin, his eyes lacked a certain luster that they once held before.
When ZhouMi tried to start spending more time with him again, it was already too late. He had been alone for too long by then. He didn’t want to feel hurt again. Knowing that it was possible for the Chinese man to drop him in an instant for Kyuhyun.
When Kyuhyun tried to become closer to Henry, it didn’t work. Couldn’t work. For the singer had isolated the other from him for too long. Avoided him for too long. So the violinist would take no chances. Would try nothing to create a stronger relationship with his fellow band mate. He would not try.
He would slip his hand out of Ryeowook when his elder grabbed at his hand. Would try to place himself further away, closer to Siwon and Han Geng because they wouldn’t notice. So they would try nothing. So he simply distanced himself, grew further away from the one he gave off the impression he was closest to.
He isolated himself. Gave no one entrance to his heart. They were Super Junior M. He was Lau Henry.
And as he sunk further into his sorrow, temptation grew everywhere around him. It was so easy. He could shatter the mirror in the dressing room, break the window in his bedroom, shred with the razor in the bathroom, or slice with any of the knives in the kitchen. Just one clean slice of the wrist and it could all just fade away.
He could end the hurt. After all, no one seemed to notice his feelings. No one knew how he suffered. How he guarded himself due to fear. No one saw past the facade.
So of course the others would be surprised. Scared to find and unconscious Henry on his and Ryeowook’s bedroom floor, head lying in a small puddle of blood, the red substance trickling from his wrist ever so slowly.
Of course Ryeowook would scream and cry and ZhouMi would collapse to the floor. Han Geng would fly for the phone, dialing for emergency help. Siwon would grab anything to stop the bleeding, applying pressure. Donghae would use the wall for support, tears spilling uncontrollably as he truly register the sight before him. And Kyuhyun would try to calm the other two lead singers down even though he himself was not, and could not stop glancing at the frail and broken boy.
How had none of them notice how his body went from slim to thin? How his skin went from glowing to pale? Had they really been that unaware of the youngest?
Yes.
--
In the hospital, Ryeowook would sniff, constantly wiping and blowing his nose. Donghae, couldn’t stop shaking, scared that he might never see the chubby cheeked boy again. ZhouMi would cry silently, occasionally mumbling something along the lines of, I’m his best friend. I should have noticed. I’m to blame.
Kyuhyun continued to be haunted by the sight that had greeted them in the dorms. Blaming himself for pushing his only dongsaeng in the group away instead of embracing him.
Han Geng’s body finally allowed him to rack itself with his sobs. Thinking about how he was a bad leader. How he should have been watching out for his baby. All the while Siwon hugged him close, rubbing his back comfortingly. When in his mind, it was all his fault. He was the appa of the group. He should have paid more attention to the youngest.
But all in all, it came down to one thing. None of them were close to him. Or in ZhouMi’s case, close to him anymore. None of them knew what went on with him throughout the days.
--
When he was finally discharged from the hospital, everyone made an effort to get close to him. There was always someone nearby when he went out. Always someone holding onto him on shows, during concerts, even in the car, as if they were afraid he might disappear.
The public didn’t know what had happen. His situation had been kept under wraps. All the added touching, fans just thought it was fan service. Hell, the rest of Super Junior all that it was fan service, although the lovers that were back in Korean did get a little jealous.
But it was all too much for Henry. Sure he was lonely before, but now he was suffocating. He didn’t want to be smothered because the others were scared that he might pull another stunt again. He wasn’t happy that it even took such a stunt for the others to notice. Had the suffocating be because they all loved him, had been before he attempted suicide, he wouldn’t have minded. But it hadn’t been, and that made all the difference.
--
When they all arrived back in Korea, the others grew suspicious at the way the other six spent so much time with the dancer. Eunhyuk grew jealous, Heechul began to think Ryeowook was cheating on him, and many others simply had a bad taste in their mouths, looking at Henry in disgusted and were surprised when the other members of SuJu M defended and protected him from their harsh glares. Especially when it was Kyuhyun who shielded him.
And it only made matters worse as most of the other members wouldn’t talk to him. How fights erupted between Eunhyuk and Donghae, Heechul and Ryeowook, all over him.
At night he would curl in his bed and force the tears back. Refrain from soaking his pillow with his heartache then get up the next day and pretend that he was okay.
But even he, who was so good at hiding his feelings, could not fool everyone. So when he was visited by a kind Yesung, he spilling everything to him, thoroughly wetting the elder’s shirt. But Yesung didn’t mind. He sat there patiently because he knew what it was like to pretend you were alright when the truth was, you weren’t. He had been there before. Been to the point of watching his blood trickle down his arm day after day till he was saved by Kibum. He knew that someone would pull Henry from his hole where he couldn’t.
By morning, all the young Chinese male could wonder was when would that someone save him?
So day by day he grew closer to Yesung and Kibum. They could suppress the pain. Rid him of his horrible thoughts for a while. But when neither of them were with him, he would tear himself apart from the inside.
The other Super Junior M members noticed, but they weren’t sure of exactly what was going on inside him.
He turned back to his extreme, but just as the knife punctured his skin, a strong, well aimed slap crossed his face. Before he could turn to see the face of the person who caught him, he was engulfed in a tight hug.
“Don’t. Please don’t Henli.”
Leeteuk?
“Why does it matter? To you or to anyone?” he asked, worn out. He was exhausted. He was tired of everything. Of pretending, of the looks he got from most of the others.
“Because, I love you Henli, baby. You’re amazing. Drew me in from the first moment.” His hyung pulled away and looked him in the eye with his own tearing ones. And they spoke only the truth. He wasn’t lying to him and that broke the violinist down to a sobbing, incoherent mess.
--
Three days later Leeteuk allowed Henry to leave his bed and start having a schedule again. The leader was okay with it only because at all times he was either with himself or with Yesung. The others, minus the members of SuJu M, still didn’t like him, but that was fine by him. He had Leeteuk, and two amazing friends by the names of Kim Jongwoon and Kim Kibum.
He was so okay, that he didn’t mind when Ryeowook accidently yelled at Heechul how he was only worried about Henry because he tried to kill himself and that he was not cheating on him. He didn’t mind how everyone apologized to him. He didn’t even care much for the pity glaces they sent at him. He would be just fine.
Because along the way, he gained two friends, Jongwoon and Kibum.
Because along the way, he fell in love with the ever amazing Park Jungsu.
--
Of course Yesung had to sneak his way in xD
No seriously, honestly I’ve read so few HenTeuk fanfics it makes me believe that they are close to non-existent. But I liked writing this one. It just came so easily. I like literally didn’t stop writing. All just came at once.
If you didn’t catch how the theme Drowning played in (there were two ways it was portrayed) just ask ^-^ I’ll be happy to explain since this was slight… I’m not sure how to describe it. But I really like it.
Anyways, isn’t it weird that I thought of this idea in the shower? O.o No, I’m not out to kill myself. I’d rather live a nice life thank you very much.
Don’t worry, Timmii here has more fics to come :D
P.S Happy Belated Birthday Donghae! My Birthday wish is late because I was trying to write a story for him but nothing came to mind. D: Sorry, no fluffy for you fish T-T But you have your own story being written so it's all good!
Author: timmii_luvs
Pairing: Henry/Leeteuk, Henry/Yesung Friendship, ninja!Yesung/Kibum, ninja!Heechul/Ryeowook
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: R (Just to be safe) [For suicide related issues and slight language]
Length: Oneshot
Author’s Note: Theme #95 Drowning of 100 Fic Challenge [Done: 3/100]
Summary: Somewhere along the way, Henry feels he’s lost his best friend
--
Somewhere along the way, Henry feels he lost his best friend to Kyuhyun. Because where he used to stand, his presence has been completely erased by the singer’s. Where his words used to bring a smile to his friends face, Kyuhyun had taken on that job. Even though it hurt, the violinist kept his mouth shut and smiled on. He stood further in the background where darkness shrouded his hurt feelings.
Somewhere along the way, Henry realized that he was being used as a replacement. He hung around Ryeowook a lot so it’s obvious that it would imply that the two of them were close. But that was a lie. As he stood next to the smaller, yet older boy, he knew that Ryeowook was using him as a replacement to fill the void in his heart until he could return to Heechul.
Somewhere along the way, Henry tried to push away the obvious. To not think about how Donghae would pretend he was Eunhyuk when they dance together. How the dancer would talk slower to avoid tripping and calling him a name that was not his. So the younger one would go along with it, play his little game and try to hold his heart together.
And before he even started along the way, there was always Siwon and Han Geng, together in a relationship before they even met Henry. So why should they care about his slowly shattering heart? Why should they worry? After all, he was just the foreign boy who everyone said force his way into the Super Junior family. Who was trying to rip the group apart.
So if somewhere along the way all this happened, why should any of them notice his slowly dulling eyes. On shows he was never one to put himself out there, so it went unnoticed how little he participated but when he did, when he danced or played his violin, his eyes lacked a certain luster that they once held before.
When ZhouMi tried to start spending more time with him again, it was already too late. He had been alone for too long by then. He didn’t want to feel hurt again. Knowing that it was possible for the Chinese man to drop him in an instant for Kyuhyun.
When Kyuhyun tried to become closer to Henry, it didn’t work. Couldn’t work. For the singer had isolated the other from him for too long. Avoided him for too long. So the violinist would take no chances. Would try nothing to create a stronger relationship with his fellow band mate. He would not try.
He would slip his hand out of Ryeowook when his elder grabbed at his hand. Would try to place himself further away, closer to Siwon and Han Geng because they wouldn’t notice. So they would try nothing. So he simply distanced himself, grew further away from the one he gave off the impression he was closest to.
He isolated himself. Gave no one entrance to his heart. They were Super Junior M. He was Lau Henry.
And as he sunk further into his sorrow, temptation grew everywhere around him. It was so easy. He could shatter the mirror in the dressing room, break the window in his bedroom, shred with the razor in the bathroom, or slice with any of the knives in the kitchen. Just one clean slice of the wrist and it could all just fade away.
He could end the hurt. After all, no one seemed to notice his feelings. No one knew how he suffered. How he guarded himself due to fear. No one saw past the facade.
So of course the others would be surprised. Scared to find and unconscious Henry on his and Ryeowook’s bedroom floor, head lying in a small puddle of blood, the red substance trickling from his wrist ever so slowly.
Of course Ryeowook would scream and cry and ZhouMi would collapse to the floor. Han Geng would fly for the phone, dialing for emergency help. Siwon would grab anything to stop the bleeding, applying pressure. Donghae would use the wall for support, tears spilling uncontrollably as he truly register the sight before him. And Kyuhyun would try to calm the other two lead singers down even though he himself was not, and could not stop glancing at the frail and broken boy.
How had none of them notice how his body went from slim to thin? How his skin went from glowing to pale? Had they really been that unaware of the youngest?
Yes.
--
In the hospital, Ryeowook would sniff, constantly wiping and blowing his nose. Donghae, couldn’t stop shaking, scared that he might never see the chubby cheeked boy again. ZhouMi would cry silently, occasionally mumbling something along the lines of, I’m his best friend. I should have noticed. I’m to blame.
Kyuhyun continued to be haunted by the sight that had greeted them in the dorms. Blaming himself for pushing his only dongsaeng in the group away instead of embracing him.
Han Geng’s body finally allowed him to rack itself with his sobs. Thinking about how he was a bad leader. How he should have been watching out for his baby. All the while Siwon hugged him close, rubbing his back comfortingly. When in his mind, it was all his fault. He was the appa of the group. He should have paid more attention to the youngest.
But all in all, it came down to one thing. None of them were close to him. Or in ZhouMi’s case, close to him anymore. None of them knew what went on with him throughout the days.
--
When he was finally discharged from the hospital, everyone made an effort to get close to him. There was always someone nearby when he went out. Always someone holding onto him on shows, during concerts, even in the car, as if they were afraid he might disappear.
The public didn’t know what had happen. His situation had been kept under wraps. All the added touching, fans just thought it was fan service. Hell, the rest of Super Junior all that it was fan service, although the lovers that were back in Korean did get a little jealous.
But it was all too much for Henry. Sure he was lonely before, but now he was suffocating. He didn’t want to be smothered because the others were scared that he might pull another stunt again. He wasn’t happy that it even took such a stunt for the others to notice. Had the suffocating be because they all loved him, had been before he attempted suicide, he wouldn’t have minded. But it hadn’t been, and that made all the difference.
--
When they all arrived back in Korea, the others grew suspicious at the way the other six spent so much time with the dancer. Eunhyuk grew jealous, Heechul began to think Ryeowook was cheating on him, and many others simply had a bad taste in their mouths, looking at Henry in disgusted and were surprised when the other members of SuJu M defended and protected him from their harsh glares. Especially when it was Kyuhyun who shielded him.
And it only made matters worse as most of the other members wouldn’t talk to him. How fights erupted between Eunhyuk and Donghae, Heechul and Ryeowook, all over him.
At night he would curl in his bed and force the tears back. Refrain from soaking his pillow with his heartache then get up the next day and pretend that he was okay.
But even he, who was so good at hiding his feelings, could not fool everyone. So when he was visited by a kind Yesung, he spilling everything to him, thoroughly wetting the elder’s shirt. But Yesung didn’t mind. He sat there patiently because he knew what it was like to pretend you were alright when the truth was, you weren’t. He had been there before. Been to the point of watching his blood trickle down his arm day after day till he was saved by Kibum. He knew that someone would pull Henry from his hole where he couldn’t.
By morning, all the young Chinese male could wonder was when would that someone save him?
So day by day he grew closer to Yesung and Kibum. They could suppress the pain. Rid him of his horrible thoughts for a while. But when neither of them were with him, he would tear himself apart from the inside.
The other Super Junior M members noticed, but they weren’t sure of exactly what was going on inside him.
He turned back to his extreme, but just as the knife punctured his skin, a strong, well aimed slap crossed his face. Before he could turn to see the face of the person who caught him, he was engulfed in a tight hug.
“Don’t. Please don’t Henli.”
Leeteuk?
“Why does it matter? To you or to anyone?” he asked, worn out. He was exhausted. He was tired of everything. Of pretending, of the looks he got from most of the others.
“Because, I love you Henli, baby. You’re amazing. Drew me in from the first moment.” His hyung pulled away and looked him in the eye with his own tearing ones. And they spoke only the truth. He wasn’t lying to him and that broke the violinist down to a sobbing, incoherent mess.
--
Three days later Leeteuk allowed Henry to leave his bed and start having a schedule again. The leader was okay with it only because at all times he was either with himself or with Yesung. The others, minus the members of SuJu M, still didn’t like him, but that was fine by him. He had Leeteuk, and two amazing friends by the names of Kim Jongwoon and Kim Kibum.
He was so okay, that he didn’t mind when Ryeowook accidently yelled at Heechul how he was only worried about Henry because he tried to kill himself and that he was not cheating on him. He didn’t mind how everyone apologized to him. He didn’t even care much for the pity glaces they sent at him. He would be just fine.
Because along the way, he gained two friends, Jongwoon and Kibum.
Because along the way, he fell in love with the ever amazing Park Jungsu.
--
Of course Yesung had to sneak his way in xD
No seriously, honestly I’ve read so few HenTeuk fanfics it makes me believe that they are close to non-existent. But I liked writing this one. It just came so easily. I like literally didn’t stop writing. All just came at once.
If you didn’t catch how the theme Drowning played in (there were two ways it was portrayed) just ask ^-^ I’ll be happy to explain since this was slight… I’m not sure how to describe it. But I really like it.
Anyways, isn’t it weird that I thought of this idea in the shower? O.o No, I’m not out to kill myself. I’d rather live a nice life thank you very much.
Don’t worry, Timmii here has more fics to come :D
P.S Happy Belated Birthday Donghae! My Birthday wish is late because I was trying to write a story for him but nothing came to mind. D: Sorry, no fluffy for you fish T-T But you have your own story being written so it's all good!