Weekly Wisdom #1
So I have started attending these wonderful meditation classes in St. Pete (major props to holdfastdreams for getting me into them, hooray!), and I plan on continuing with them until I leave for California. 'Cause, hey, I can't afford counseling, and maybe this is the next best thing!
Anywho, I was thinking today about the class last Friday, and about the theme of the class, and then I realized that, as much as that theme had really spoken to me at the time, I have been having an extremely difficult time since then in keeping the message of the class in the realm of my daily consciousness. So then I thought, what I really need is to keep a written record of the themes I encounter in my classes, somewhere I can access it every day in order to have a continual reminder and refresher. Enter my LJ.
So from now on, I'm gonna post a summary of the lessons from each class (semi-weekly, depending on how many classes I decide to attend every week :) here in my blog so that I can attempt to carry through with the particular theme of each class. To wit:
It's kinda funny, considering the last-straw reason that I decided to start going to these classes in the first place (don't wanna dwell on it, but it involved a pretty nasty encounter with two extremely angry individuals and resulted in a deep scratch on my car), but the theme on Friday was "cherishing all living beings" (did I mention that these were Buddhist meditation classes?). This is an area of my life in which, I am sad to say, I have been incredibly lacking lately. I used to be quite good at putting a positive spin on even the most negative encounters and at recognizing the extenuating circumstances that can make even a normally sane and rational person act like a jackass (to put it in psychological parlance, I was good at avoiding the FAE). But not anymore.
No, these days, I am much more likely to just write a person off as truly being a jackass if they are displaying jackass behaviors. What's more, I have gotten to a point in my life where I can't be bothered with having jackasses in my life at all. Which is fine when I meet angry strangers, as I did the other week. But when it means that I have begun severing ties with people whom I had previously considered to be friends, I think it might just require a closer examination.
Or does it? I mean, there's a lot to be said for eliminating the deadweight in your life, and if it's people who are constantly dragging you down, what's wrong with wanting to rid yourself of their toxicity? As long as that's the real reason you're severing those ties, I guess.
But that's not the way Angus, my meditation leader, would think of it. The basic Buddhist principles state that all life is suffering and that we suffer because of our attachments. For instance, being attached to our own selves and our own egos means that we often react with defensiveness and a desire to hurt others when we perceive that our sense of self is being threatened in some way. But a far better response, according to Buddhism, would be to overcome our own ego and focus on the good of other people, even raising them and their needs far above our own.
Think about it. Have you ever experienced a time in your life in which you were dealing with a very angry person and with one sympathetic word or gentle touch, were able to entirely diffuse the situation such that you both emerged from it much calmer and stronger? I know I certainly have. But again, this is much easier to do with perfect strangers than with the people who are closer to us. Which is why the emphasis in our meditation was on "cherishing ALL living creatures". Far easier said than done.
But for me, the lessson that I will practice this week is simple enough. Whenever I feel my defensiveness rise, when I feel that I am being persecuted or rejected or any number of other ego-centric emotions, I will stop and ponder for a moment on how I can turn the situation into one of cherishing and raising others above my own self.
Somehow, I have a feeling that this is a small part of the way to overcoming suffering and achieving real happiness. And who doesn't want that??
Anywho, I was thinking today about the class last Friday, and about the theme of the class, and then I realized that, as much as that theme had really spoken to me at the time, I have been having an extremely difficult time since then in keeping the message of the class in the realm of my daily consciousness. So then I thought, what I really need is to keep a written record of the themes I encounter in my classes, somewhere I can access it every day in order to have a continual reminder and refresher. Enter my LJ.
So from now on, I'm gonna post a summary of the lessons from each class (semi-weekly, depending on how many classes I decide to attend every week :) here in my blog so that I can attempt to carry through with the particular theme of each class. To wit:
It's kinda funny, considering the last-straw reason that I decided to start going to these classes in the first place (don't wanna dwell on it, but it involved a pretty nasty encounter with two extremely angry individuals and resulted in a deep scratch on my car), but the theme on Friday was "cherishing all living beings" (did I mention that these were Buddhist meditation classes?). This is an area of my life in which, I am sad to say, I have been incredibly lacking lately. I used to be quite good at putting a positive spin on even the most negative encounters and at recognizing the extenuating circumstances that can make even a normally sane and rational person act like a jackass (to put it in psychological parlance, I was good at avoiding the FAE). But not anymore.
No, these days, I am much more likely to just write a person off as truly being a jackass if they are displaying jackass behaviors. What's more, I have gotten to a point in my life where I can't be bothered with having jackasses in my life at all. Which is fine when I meet angry strangers, as I did the other week. But when it means that I have begun severing ties with people whom I had previously considered to be friends, I think it might just require a closer examination.
Or does it? I mean, there's a lot to be said for eliminating the deadweight in your life, and if it's people who are constantly dragging you down, what's wrong with wanting to rid yourself of their toxicity? As long as that's the real reason you're severing those ties, I guess.
But that's not the way Angus, my meditation leader, would think of it. The basic Buddhist principles state that all life is suffering and that we suffer because of our attachments. For instance, being attached to our own selves and our own egos means that we often react with defensiveness and a desire to hurt others when we perceive that our sense of self is being threatened in some way. But a far better response, according to Buddhism, would be to overcome our own ego and focus on the good of other people, even raising them and their needs far above our own.
Think about it. Have you ever experienced a time in your life in which you were dealing with a very angry person and with one sympathetic word or gentle touch, were able to entirely diffuse the situation such that you both emerged from it much calmer and stronger? I know I certainly have. But again, this is much easier to do with perfect strangers than with the people who are closer to us. Which is why the emphasis in our meditation was on "cherishing ALL living creatures". Far easier said than done.
But for me, the lessson that I will practice this week is simple enough. Whenever I feel my defensiveness rise, when I feel that I am being persecuted or rejected or any number of other ego-centric emotions, I will stop and ponder for a moment on how I can turn the situation into one of cherishing and raising others above my own self.
Somehow, I have a feeling that this is a small part of the way to overcoming suffering and achieving real happiness. And who doesn't want that??