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[tincan]

I'm in New Orleans, and I just spent almost all of my money getting down here and paying for an apartment. The place is a shit hole, and I've been dumping more money into painting/cleaning/disinfecting it

Comments

[lemonsoul]

when everything was really terrible, everyone just told me , "get out, get out," like it was the easiest thing in the world to do. it's easy when you're on the outside to tell someone to get out. it's another thing when you're in the middle of it. i dont know when i would i gotten out or ever (id like to think eventually i would have gained that strength) if not for the heavy-handed involvement of others. i knew for ever that i wanted to get out, i knew that nothing was really physically holding be there, but sometimes the mental chains are the strongest. it's hard to gain the strength you need to break them when there's only some one around that akes you feel weaker. i guess what im trying to say though is that you CAN break free, you CAN make your own choices, and nothing binds you except your own mind. it's not worth being miserable. no relationship is worht that.

[tincan]

Kate, I was so happy to talk to you on the phone that night. It makes me feel so much better to get comments from you, or to talk to you on the phone, and not feel crazy.

Its really hard for me to figure out how many of our problems are real, and how many of them are in my head. I really don't seem to know how a relationship is supposed to function, what sort of standards are reasonable and what aren't.

Predictably, we are "back together" since I last spoke to you. My mother is visiting on Friday, and I keep wondering if I should just go with her.

Ugh. Anyway, thank you for talking to me. We have power again, so I will probably be calling you often!