I am so angry right now. I don't think I'm dealing with my stressors in the right way.

It's been about 6 weeks since Eric and I broke up, today we hung out and for the first time I didn't feel so bad about not being with him. He said that he just wants me in his life. He said that when we were together he would tell himself that he shouldn't be in a committed relationship because he thinks that at this age we should just be having ( Read more... )

He said I could have anything that I want. I don't know what to do. I don't want to feel like I'm passing up what could be my happily ever after, but I don't want to go through this again. I feel like shit. I want a BABY. right now. right fucking now. Life is full of bullshit and I just want the one real thing in the world to be mine. I just ( Read more... )

Today was a difficult day with George, but we did go to southside park which was awesome! Tomorrow should be better. My cousin Holly had her baby girl on Saturday night. Just one more to be jealous of. Talking to Eric isn't getting any easier, probably getting harder in fact because he won't listen to anything I say and says he doesn't understand ( Read more... )

So this has been a long couple of weeks. I went up to Medford, Oregon twice, got to see tons of cousins and cousins babies (4 1/2 and 3 1/2 months, and 6 years). Got the go ahead to make plans for a Disneyland trip for two of my cousins; it'll be their first time and I'm so excited! And my boyfriend and I broke up. The good has been really good and ( Read more... )

ferret is rubbing his face all over the bottom of my feet and it tickles sooo much.

I was playing with George last week and having a blast, as I usually do when it occured to me that I could be perfectly happy not having kids for awhile if I could have George to play with. And Harrison and Uma and Phoebe, and all my little nieces and cousins. And that what I really want, more than I want kids, which is alot, is Eric. I want to be ( Read more... )

We had one of several talks in a series today that I shall name "What Kristina Wants from Life and How Eric Wants to FUCK That Up" because I get to be pissed off when he can't hear me. I want babies. And marriage. And happily ever after. Eric has this bullshit crap crap crap plan for his life. Doesn't want kids for 10-12 years. Doesn't need us to ( Read more... )

Criminal minds is on and i haven't seen it in forever. Can someone please tell me how to just enjoy the person that I love without worrying about things like the future and money and are we having enough fun and are we having enough sex and am i dressing up enough. I know i don't try as far as my appearance but I never really have. I am sick of not ( Read more... )

doing another grey's anatomy marathon. i love sandra oh!!! also eating a blo pop. making tuna casserole for dinner. my dad quit smoking so hes going to be constantly pissy for weeks until he decides to start again. i've been having these wierd dreams. the other night my mother and her boyfriend (someone i've never seen before) had a vision that I ( Read more... )